La Douleur Exquise
by miss pompadour
Summary: Fate and history have betrayed their hearts. She is promised to another and he was raised to represent his family name in High Society. So what happens when they chance destiny and go against everything they were ever taught to believe in? LilyJames. AU
1. That Night

I wrote a story along these lines about three years ago and now, with some inspiration, I want to redo the story and give it a new life. So here's hoping I can do it justice, unlike last time.

I don't own any of this world but I shall leave you with a Chuck Palahniuk quote about it:

"_The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles, wood rots, people, well, they die but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on."_ – Chuck Palahniuk

* * *

><p>They're the Noble Wizarding Families, high society and all pureblood. For centuries there have been wars between the Families, alliances and grudges made, especially between the Evans and Potter Families, where one of the largest grudges lay. Times are changing, however, and it's time for the Families to decide whether to unite or separate to fight with or against Lord Voldemort.<p>

...

**La Douleur Exquise: **The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have.

Two Weeks Before Fifth Year

"Thought you'd never." He smirked as he placed a hand at the small of her back and guided her around the room in a waltz. Her silk lilac princess cut gown brushed against the floor as they moved while the bodice suffocated her.

"Please, I am by no means here on my own free will." Lily Evans rolled her eyes and continued to look past her dance partner's shoulder. It was true; she was only dancing with him for the sake of keeping the peace between Families, though she should have known that peace was never achievable but it was a good excuse nevertheless. She knew she was to avoid Potter, she did at school and there should have been no difference now. She had learned about how James would never be good news. How he would one day be a major influence on the Noble Families and how his family opposed hers along with their beliefs. She had heard through high teas with the ladies in her family circle that he would turn out to be a charmer like his father had once been before he married Lady Potter. She knew all this and yet was still dancing with him. All eye contact must be avoided, she told herself but he had become so handsome. Wearing perfectly fitted robes along with all the insignia attached that comes with being part of a Noble family he looked somewhat mature.

"Well, I'll just have to pretend that you are here because you want to be, as this is truly the best part of this insufferable night." He was a good dancer and Lily could feel how strong his body was. She brushed the thought out of her mind, what was she thinking after all? This was James Potter… though different.

"Are you trying to say something about my family's party?" Her emerald eyes narrowed.

"Every one of these _parties_, as you so called them, is insufferable. I know you are bored, you can't believe this is fun. Or do you?" He looked down and met her eyes before she quickly looked away.

"They are an obligatory part of our lives," Lily quoted her mother.

"Doesn't answer my question."

"Why should I answer any question of yours, Potter?" Lily dared to look him in the eyes again. A mistake, the soft hazel behind the thick lashes drew her in making her forget anything she had just said. James seemed to have picked up on this and half smiled.

"We could always just leave."

"What?" Lily blinked and decided to look straight forward at James' deep red sash that ran across his chest and was held together with his family crest pin.

"I said –"

"No, Potter! Who do you think you are?" She whispered harshly, only too aware they had an audience. James breathed in to start but Lily cut him off again. "You know what? Just shut up and this horror should be over in no time." She glared at him for a moment before having to redirect her eyes back to the sash. Red sash… He had suggested something… Red, Gryffindor, school… Why did it feel like she wanted it?... Red, Gryffindor, school, two more weeks, fifth year… Her bedroom was two floors up… Hogwarts, fifth year, exams… She had never had a boy in her room before, not even Severus… Red, Gryffindor, Quidditch… James Potter. Lily cursed her mind for straying into forbidden territories over and over.

"You can go back to Snivellus now."

She looked up at him, "Excuse me?"

"It's over." Quickly she looked around to find that he was correct. Embarrassed, she let go of his hands and fled the scene eager to take off her long white gloves. Suddenly it had just become very hot.

An hour passed and Lily wished her friends were part of this high society Noble family nonsense then at least she wouldn't be bored. Successfully she had avoided Potter since their dance and also Severus. It didn't feel right to be around Snape while her mind was infuriatingly stuck on Potter. She passed through the crowd and caught a glimpse of the red sash she had so intently studied prior. Her heart jumped and she cursed it. A second of eye contact was made. He smiled, she blushed and in the smallest of moments a message had been sent, delivered and understood. Lily lapped her parents' ballroom then turned down an over decorated corridor. Lifting her gown, she started to walk up the stairs to the second floor.

"Lily?" It was Severus.

"Yes?" She turned around smiling her best friend and disappointment flooded her.

"Are you headed for bed already?" He asked, confused.

"I think so. It is just these parties, you know? They're so… insufferable." Lily shrugged hopefully while inwardly wondering what the hell was wrong with her.

"These nights are an obligatory part of our lives. Our roles in society…" Severus began to walk up the stairs one at a time.

"Yes, yes but tonight I'm just… tired." It sounded more like a question, a guess really, and Lily hoped Severus would just stop walking up the damn stairs.

"Well maybe I'll retreat as well," he paused on a step waiting for Lily's reply.

"That's not necessary Sev, go back to the party and tell mother that I'm feeling a little under the weather, will you?" She sent a pleading look and Severus obliged wishing her goodnight.

Sighing with relief Lily continued to climb the stairs and began to walk down yet another corridor. She had no idea what led her. She had had some champagne and downed her last glass very quickly as she made the decision to do this. With that thought Lily came to the excuse that it was solely the alcohol in her body that made her want this and that made her want James Potter. She turned a corner and was harshly pulled into a room by a hand on her forearm. Before she had the chance to find her voice the door was shut and she was trapped between it and the red sash. Her stomach lurched as she glanced up to meet James' eyes. This time she couldn't see their colour as the only light in the room was provided by the moon shining through the large arch windows. It was then Lily realised that they were in one of the guest rooms.

"Thought you weren't going to come," he tested. She could feel his breath on her forehead. She had never been this close to him before. Even when they had to dance they kept some distance between them. Now he was so close that she could not only feel his breath but the heat radiating from his body as well.

"I was held up." Suddenly she didn't know where to look but James soon fixed that. With a quick smile to her response he closed the space between them. His lips were warm and it had only taken Lily a second to reciprocate. Her hands moved around his neck and his found her lower back again and pulled her closer. They parted for a second and looked at each other but only for a second. Together they became desperate for one another. Lily swiftly discarded the red sash as did he to her white one. All while kissing eagerly she pushed off his coat which fell loudly on the floor due to the decorations attached. Her dress was removed just as efficiently and was soon joined by his shirt on the floor. James pulled her arms down to her sides and slid her white gloves off. Lily was excited by the new amount of skin contact between them. She honestly hadn't given Potter's body much thought before but it was everything she would have imagined, slightly toned, from Quidditch no doubt, but just the perfect amount. They began to move across the room finding the bed. She fell onto her back and his hands were travelling up her thighs to what was at first a comfortable spot but Lily began wanting more and for him to go further. James' kisses moved from her lips down to a sensitive spot on her neck causing her to sigh. She closed her eyes and tried to block out the thoughts that were trying to infiltrate her mind. She just wanted to feel. She forgot what James was doing for a moment till he kissed the inside of her upper thigh causing her to slightly jerk. Quickly he came back up to her neck.

"Are you okay?" His voice was husky making Lily crave him more. She didn't respond at first but then he stopped everything and hovered over her body holding himself up by his elbows. "Lily?" She didn't want to voice the words that just came into her mind because then it would end.

"I –"

"Lily!" A distant but familiar voice that wasn't James' called.

James bowed his head and sighed heavily. The tips of his hair tickled Lily's face before he rolled off her and began collecting his clothes. Her body suddenly felt cold as his once so close one moved away.

"James…" He looked at her and she could see the regret that things were going to end this way in his moonlit face .

"Lily!" The voice called again. James ran one hand through his already messy hair and buttoned up his shirt to a point making Lily just want to take it off again. She went to talk again but he got in first.

"Snape's looking for you." And with those obvious words he grabbed some floo powder from on top of the fireplace and walked into it.

"No, no, James. Just stay, he'll walk past." She rushed her words and went to get off the bed to hold James back but within seconds he was gone. Lily continued to move off the bed and found her wand. With a tap to the door she locked it and didn't answer when Severus knocked. How had the moment slipped away so quickly? She threw her wand at the wall then herself back onto the bed and didn't plan on moving anytime soon for she had just been so close to James damn Potter and now he was out of reach.

* * *

><p>Lily sat up with a start. Her clock told her it was 2am, again. She fell back down onto the 2000 thread count pillow sighing. It was that dream again, reminding her of what had happened between her and Potter two years ago. Weren't dreams supposed to be of events that had never happened? Or could they also be of events you regret? Either way, Lily couldn't believe how stupid she had been back then, giving herself up for Potter. She was so young and naïve and yet she had felt so mature at the time. Begrudgingly, she had Severus to thank for preventing her from going all the way, not that he ever knew it. She had told no one of that night. Merlin, what if her family were to find out? The Potter's were not favourable in the Evans house. Perhaps two years ago things were getting better for once but that had all past quickly and now things between them were as bad as ever. Lily didn't particularly agree with her family on most accounts these days but she did agree with them when it came to James Potter and that he was a boy to be avoided. Maybe it was just in her blood to hate him. The Evans' always held something of grudge with the Potter's and vice versa.<p>

Now with the war breaking out it was time for the Noble Families to decide whose side to be on. Lily hated the fact that her family had been fence sitting for an extended period of time. Though she had always believed that even though they hated the Potter's that they would still pick their side. Not Voldemort's. Money can do some amazing things, she thought and it could be argued that it was just as powerful as magic itself. And that's what the Noble Families came down to in the end, untainted magic and too much money. They were bred with an air of elegance and aristocratism. It was about power, loyalty and most of all family, but not necessarily in the warm and fuzzy way that you would imagine. The family name must be carried on and down the line in a proud way and this is where Lord Evans found a slight hitch, but more on that later.

Unable to sleep after her dream Lily lit some candles in her oversized room. The walls were lilac with white decorative skirting boards and a large cream rug covered majority of the hardwood floors. Gold embroidered curtains covered her tall French windows that reached for the high ceilings and opened out looking onto the lush green grounds of Great Chalfield Manor. Everything she had collected from the age of ten was neatly organised on shelves and small tables. She had trinkets from faraway places and a small old oak box full of letters from every summer since Hogwarts began, some love letters and others just updates from friends. Photos of family and friends adorned the surfaces of the dressers amongst the smaller things. Lily began to open the rosewood drawers and pick out clothes to pack for her last year at Hogwarts. Looking around, she felt that she had everything a girl could want. She had all the designer clothes, shoes and jewellery from the most creative witches of their time. Anything she wanted she could have and it took Lily's two closest school friends to keep her grounded. However one day, not so long ago, Lily realised that all this wasn't what she needed in life and she had been unhappy ever since then. Still, she continued to pretend that new gowns made her happy as well as the gifts from random suitors. But Lily wanted to be loved and love wasn't displayed through gifts it was displayed through actions and Merlin knew her parents didn't know this. She had vied for their attention in her earlier years at Hogwarts which just left her terribly sick. Luckily, her lowest point was in the holidays so no one at Hogwarts knew her stupidity and as far as she knew Severus had kept her secret.

_Severus_, Lily sighed, they had been so close. She remembered the days they would spend outdoors somewhere on her family's estate. Sometimes next to the ancient fountain her mother had restored from Roman Rule, other times in the forest or out on the lake in the old rowboat. He had been her first kiss which happened in a clearing in the forest where you could see dust particles and insects floating in the air, highlighted from the sun breaking through. She thought that day would be the most special day of her life. It wasn't. In fact the kiss wasn't even very good but she guessed that no one's first kiss was. The next one, out on the lake, was better and the few after but then things began to change. Over the past two years he had become so wrapped up in Voldemort's actions. Why? Lily would never know. They were killing innocent people and it made her unbelievably angry. The worst part was Lily actually knew, for a fact, that her father had murdered. She even made the recent discovery, accidently of course, that her father had killed someone very in particular. The thought made her sick and seeing that person's family suffer was unbearable. Severus said the man deserved it but Lily wasn't convinced. These days she couldn't face Sev let alone her family. Frustrated, she wiped away the wetness in her eyes. Everything had become so fucked up. Why couldn't she be like her best friends? Who had no part in the bloody Noble Families or the war and had families that loved them. Lily threw in a couple more coats and scarves, preparing for the colder months, and slammed her trunk shut. Before she forgot, she put her Head Girl badge in her purse and climbed back into bed. It was now 3am and in six hours she would be at Kings Cross.

...

"_James Potter and Sirius Black_!" That was the final call from Lady Potter, who tapped her foot impatiently at the bottom of the grand staircase. The boys looked at each other quickly then hurried back to their business. Anyone else would have been beside themselves with the screech the Lady Potter produced but the boys were only too used the noise.

"Cloak?" James continued down the list.

"Packed."

"Mirrors?"

"Got 'em."

"And finally the Map?"

"Always," Sirius smiled. "Well, I am ninety nine point nine nine nine _percent _sure that that is all."

"I agree. Oh, wait a sec'." James picked up various items of clothing off the floor and threw them elsewhere before finding an envelope. "Bloody badge." Sirius smirked at the unfortunate event of James becoming Head Boy.

"I wonder who –" Sirius began with a mischievous look but James hadn't needed to see it to know where this was headed.

"Padfoot, if you have any idea what is good for you…" James sent his friend a pointed look which silenced him, "Let's go before Mum comes up and see's this mess before the house elves get to it." James led the way out and Sirius had one more glance at the room that had become his own through the summer. It felt more like home than his room at the Black manor ever did. This one was rich with character. Boards travelled halfway up the wall and were met with a deep red that matched the dark cream carpet. It was a simple space with only a four poster bed and some drawers but it was his. The room, like the whole house, had the faintest smell of pine and everywhere you went you just felt at home. Something the Black house never achieved.

"We're here, Mum!" Sirius greeted Lady Potter as he and James walked down the grand staircase. The Potter's manor, formally known has Montacute House, was grand all over to be truthful. The manor held an essence of old England and pride and even though Lady Potter was the clear head of house the interior had a more handsome look rather than feminine. Dark woods and rich colours were used throughout the home making it feel warm and cosy in winter. The estate on which the manor sat was extensive, with a full sized Quidditch pitch, manicured lawns and gardens as well as a forest with all hunting land one could want. Lord Potter had become rather fond of the Muggle sport in his youth and had enjoyed it ever since. However, if you were to ask James he would say that he prefered Avebury Manor, their usual summer residence. This year they didn't go and the boys suspected that it would be too much on Lady Potter, given the circumstances. Avebury wasn't as large nor magnificent as Montacute but for some reason it felt more like home to James. It too had a Quidditch pitch but also a river on which he learnt how to row with his muggle friend, Henry. Just like his father was taken by hunting, James was taken by rowing. There was something releasing about rowing and the fact that it had no magic element whatsoever made it appear like a challenge to him.

"About time, you two will miss the train and James that would not make a very good impression on your first day as head boy!" She looked sternly at him and he simply nodded in return.

"Are you going to be okay?" James asked his mother seriously. He had never stopped worrying about her since his father's death late last year. Lady Potter had taken her husband's place at Noble Family meetings but made little contribution. You could say that the Potter family was on hold until James finished Hogwarts. Then he, with Sirius as his side man, would take over and represent the Potter name. It was not something James looked forward to by any means.

Lady Potter swatted her sons arm with a tsk, "I'll be more than okay. Have you seen how wild that garden has become out there? It'll take me until the first snowfall to get it decent again. Now, _let's go_."

...

It's a bit of an affair boarding the Hogwarts Express. Parents farewelling the young and unknowing first years and older students giving a quick peck and an _I_ _love you _to their parents before any of their friends became present. Rumus Lupin came to resent this day. His parents no longer travelled into the city to see him off and he didn't blame them. He hated the smell of the station on the warmer than usual end of summer day. Every year the Muggles seemed to have made the place dirtier and dirtier and they too became more annoying. Once on the other side of the wall friends reunited and recounted their summers. They flocked into groups making it hard to walk to the train making it feel like a feat once you reached the line at the steps. Remus didn't have much to report about his summer, a couple of transformations and hot days here and there, nothing special. The tall Gryffindor spotted his friends board the train at a lower compartment which meant he'd have to fight through the corridors to get to them. Thank Merlin this was going to be the last time he'd have to deal with this chaos. He finally made it up the steps and into the tiny corridor on the train and was now put to the challenge of finding the compartment.

"Remus!" He heard the door behind him open and saw Lily Evans' head sticking out of a room. "Come in here for a bit."

With a glance further up the corridor Remus obliged with the thought that he'll pass the time with Evans till the crowd died down. She shut the door behind and sat opposite him. It didn't take Remus long to realise that Lily had changed somewhat over summer. She now had the quintessence of a woman. Her thick long red hair flowed over her shoulders from her heart shaped face which featured dimples from her smile. Remus also couldn't help noticing Lily's navy summer dress which sat around the middle of her thighs when she sat. He smiled to himself at the thought of his friend, James couldn't resist a Lily in blue.

"So, how was your summer?" She began conversation.

"Plain, yours?" Remus replied.

"It was okay, I guess. Oh hey, I got Head Girl! Did you get Head Boy?" Her eyes were wide with expectation.

"Er, no. No I didn't," He watched Lily's face drop.

"Well, then…" Lily looked down at the hem of her dress in thought.

"I think I should get to the boys," Remus didn't want to be the one to tell her. Where the hell were her friends?

"Remus…" She looked at him with that look. He winced, they had become quite good friends since becoming Prefects in fifth year and he knew what that look meant.

"Lily, wouldn't you rather the Head Boy tell you himself?"

"You know who it is," she stated.

"Maybe."

"Tell me."

"I should find the boys."

"Remus," she demanded as he stood to leave.

He sighed, "James." And with that one word he opened the door and made a rather quick exit without looking back.

It had taken him another five minutes until he had found the Marauders.

"Moony! Where have you been?" James asked taking his feet off the seat so Remus could sit.

"Talking to your head girl," James noted that Remus didn't make it sound like this was a pleasant experience.

"Oh, so it is…"

"Of course it is!" Sirius laughed, "This is going to be a very, very good year. Finally some excitement is on the menu."

The train began to move and James stared out the window. This was not going to be fun.

Mary MacDonald and Evelyn Bell were Lily Evans' closest friends. Neither were members of the Noble Families and Lily loved that about them and they were her escape. They found Lily at the same time and again, at the same time, wanted to leave her.

"You know," Evelyn placed herself down next to the window opposite Lily and now Mary.

"I know," Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at the stunning brunette across from her.

"How?" Mary asked, suddenly not sure if she had chosen the right spot to sit.

"Remus told me then ran off," Lily seethed. "How! How, how, how does this happen?" she stressed. "Why would Dumbledore do such a thing? He knows, damn it, _he knows_." The girls knew what Lily was referring to. Ever since fifth year Potter and Lily had been enemies, practically following in their families footsteps. At first it was simple, they played the silent treatment game and no one paid attention. Then when they decided to resume talking it was aggressive. Students quickly came to learn that when Lily Evans and James Potter started interacting it was time to leave. No one knew what had happened in the very first place and Lily could never forgive James for what he did.

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Mary suggested, "have you _seen_ Potter yet?" Lily missed Evelyn quickly raise her eyebrows at this statement.

"Mary, I love you but seriously, it's Potter. I see him differently, he's trouble, a pain and his family…"

"Disagrees with yours as much as you do," Evelyn tilted her head, testing Lily.

"It's different."

"No it's not, really.

"It is, so let's drop it. I don't want to talk about my family." With this the girls changed subjects and talked in anticipation about their final year of school.

...

"You're late."

"I don't think so, Potter." Mary had meant something.

"You're not even in your school robes yet." Navy.

"Thank you for reminding me."

Silence.

"Maybe you should step down, Potter. Merlin knows you don't want this position."

"Ha! And what would little Lady Evans know about me?"

"I know enough."

"Well, this is your year to learn more because I'm not going anywhere," He smirked and sat down. It was now fully dark outside and the castle was in sight. It sat as a beacon on top of the hill that grew out of the forest, a light guiding the summer tired students home.

Lily sat down too. The last thing she felt like doing was running through Head Student business. She let her eyes look James over for a quick moment. He really looked so much more mature. Suddenly that night before fifth year ran through her mind. He would be different now underneath his robes.

James was silent as well as he was lost in thought about Lily, about their situation and about his own situation. He realised that he no longer knew anything about her. Behind the fighting and plain ignorance of each other they had both grown and both had become their own person knowing nothing of the other.

"Evans..." He started and she looked up startled.

"Yes," she didn't mean to be so cold.

James paused as he realised he actually had nothing to say to her. What was there to say?

"There's no point going through things. I think you should change, we'll be there in five minutes." James made to leave and so did Lily both getting caught at the small doorway. He was a head taller than her now. One could argue that there was a moment but only that, a small, small moment.

James stepped back and without a word Lily continued out with her head held high.

The feast was uneventful and getting Prefects organised was just stressful but finally Lily found herself in her Head Dormitory. She had ignored James in the small round common area and walked straight for her room where she collapsed onto her king four poster bed. The room, as she suspected it would be, was decorated Victorian style in the Gryffindor colours with her own private desk and wardrobe. Her trunk was already waiting to be unpacked at the end of the bed but Lily couldn't be bothered to even stand up again. A few minutes later, once she had just closed her eyes, there was a knock on her door.

"What?" She groaned with annoyance pulling herself up to open the door. James was standing there looking just as unimpressed as she was.

"Snape is outside," he said in the most monotone voice one could imagine.

"So, why did you come to tell me that?" Lily could have gone without this information. Her hair was flaying in all directions, her makeup had worn off and even though she didn't care about these boys she would have preferred not to talk to either at the present time.

"Do you not like Snape?" James raised his eyebrows. Lily was amazed that James hadn't picked up on this.

"It's fine, I'll go out," she pushed herself past him brushing his arm slightly.

"What do _you_ want?" James heard Lily address Severus before he entered his own room. She surprised him, had he really been paying so little attention to Lily's private life?

"I came to see you," Severus replied with confidence. "Are you going to let me in?"

"Why should I?" Lily was confused, since when did they talk again?

"I think we should become friends again." There was a pause as Lily thought about it. She glanced back into the Head's common room making sure James wasn't there.

"Fine, but talk quietly," she didn't know why she cared.

Severus followed her in and they sat on the couch before the fireplace.

"I missed you over summer, Lily," He confessed. Lily noted that Snape too had grown over the months away but still, he was far too interested in the Dark Arts.

"Oh," was all she had to say to him.

"I'm pleased that your family has chosen to side with us officially. You'll definitely be safer with us."

"My father made the decision long ago and I'm ashamed that he's actually followed through with Voldemort's requests." Lily's face was twisted with disgust at her father.

"But the Dark Lord is rising, Lily and it's important to stay on the stronger side."

"You're pathetic," a new voice spat but said Lily's exact thoughts. Severus and Lily turned to see James leaning against the door frame to the small hallway where the bedrooms were situated. He had his arms crossed and held an expression Lily had never seen before, a mix of anger and pride. "Meekly following who you believe is the strongest so you won't get hurt. Coward."

Snape jumped up and withdrew his wand. Lily noted that James didn't even have his, though he seemed unfazed. "How dare you! You have nothing to gain on your side of this war! You will have the same fate as your lousy father." A vicious smile grew on Snape's face.

James remained silent and Lily became slightly impressed by his patience.

"That's right," continued Snape, "poor little daddy –"

"Shut up! Just shut up," Lily jumped up from the couch. This was all getting too close to home and soon something regretful would be said. The two boys stared at her in disbelief and she stared back at both of them in return. Two Gryffindor's who hated each other and a Slytherin, needless to say the tension in the room was overflowing.

"Be careful Lily, Potter is not someone I trust and nor should you. You're always welcome to the Slytherin common room."

"Why –"

"Oh, I believe we'll be seeing much more of each other. Goodnight, Lily." Snape turned and walked out satisfied that he had disturbed the peace in the head dorm.

Lily sighed as the door shut then turned to James, "Potter, I'm –"

"No, you don't have to stand up for me," James glared, confusing Lily. "I don't need help, especially yours." Another door was shut and Lily was left alone staring at where James had stood. Who did he think he was?

* * *

><p>"<em>Are you okay?" His voice was husky making Lily crave him more. She didn't respond at first but then he stopped everything and hovered over her body holding himself up by his elbows. "Lily?" She didn't want to voice the words that just came into her mind because then it would end.<em>

"_I –" Lily paused. Everything remained silent. "I'm fine." She pulled James closer and started to kiss him with more meaning. Slowly her body started moving to their rhythm and James pushed himself against her. Lily felt the effect this was having on him, she arched her back and moaned. She wanted to finish this now. She removed his glasses and gasped slightly at the change. She felt him smile at her small noise then all her senses went off as he began to pull down her lace underwear._

"_Lily…" she arched her back again. "Lily."_

"Lily!" She awoke flushed. Quickly she remembered where she was and the dream replayed in her mind at lightning speed. They'd gone further this time, they were older too but in the same place at the same time. She jumped at the loud bangs on her door.

"EVANS!" She collected herself and opened the door. Immediately she began squinting it was so bright. "Oh."

"What do you want?" Lily blushed slightly as the person in her not so innocent dream was standing right in front of her.

"I thought you'd be ready to go down to breakfast." James looked down at Lily's cream silk nightie, its black lace hem and her bare legs then back up to her face and bed hair. It had been a week but this was the first time he'd seen her straight out of bed. Lily started to rub her eyes as they hadn't adjusted yet so she didn't see his eyes move up and down her body. "But clearly you're not ready."

"Clearly not."

"See you later then," and he was off. Lily shut the door and retreated back into her dark room. Suddenly it bothered her, it really, really bothered her and she wished it didn't.

Sirius Black watched as his best friend entered the Great Hall. James had always had this air about him but since starting school it was absent. Summer with James had been different too. It was the first summer without Lord Potter and Sirius knew that greatly affected James. He couldn't do anything about though and just hoped his friend would get back on his feet before the summer was out. It didn't help that he was made head boy along with Lily Evans either. Sirius knew what happened between the two that night years ago, of course he did. Sirius also knew that James still harboured feelings for the redhead. Perhaps that was taking its toll on James as well. He was so close to her once but they were too young and now they couldn't be together even if they wanted. Someone would be killed if James and Lily started a relationship.

"Prongs! I was thinking we could head out to the pitch today," Sirius tried to excite his mate.

"Hmm," James sat down and grabbed some toast.

"Say, don't you need a new Seeker this year?" Peter piped up. For the past week, since school commenced, Peter had been strangely quiet.

"Yes, we do."

"So when's try outs?" Remus asked trying to keep the conversation going. It was all getting a bit pathetic with James, he thought and he hoped Sirius would act on it soon.

"We don't need to have tryouts," James looked at Sirius, "Fabius Watkins." He said the name as if it explained everything.

"Who is that?"

"Oh come on, did you not see the boy at Sorting last week? He's perfect."

"Sorting? So he's a first year?" Remus knew Quidditch was constantly on James's mind but not so much so that he examined first years during Sorting for future players. "James, you know the first year rule."

"Stuff it. I'm Head Boy _and_ Quidditch Captain so Watkins will be on my team," James said arrogantly.

Yes, something was wrong with Sirius' best friend. Breakfast eventually ended and Sirius directed James outside onto the grounds. The boys walked towards the forest with their white sleeves rolled up to their elbows and red and gold ties done up loosely at their necks where a few more buttons than permitted were undone. The untidy black hair on both of them moved in the slight northern breeze which cooled the air but the sun was still strong enough to make it a warm day. They walked in silence with their hands tucked in their pockets. From a distance they would almost look identical except for Sirius being the slightest bit taller. James hadn't protested about coming out, he knew Sirius wouldn't have it, but once they reached the edge of the forest he decided it was time to break the silence.

"I know why you brought me out here," James began.

"Good," Sirius replied sharply, kicking an acorn away like a football.

"And I'm sorry."

"Good," Sirius wasn't as sharp but he knew James had more to say.

"It's…" James sighed audibly and ran his hand through his hair. "It's hard and I guess I still haven't gotten over it." The boys continued to walk along the edge of the forest with no particular destination. "He was murdered, Sirius. Murdered! I mean, what is that and why? Mum refuses to talk about it and I know she knows more than she's letting on." Sirius smiled sadly and nodded. He knew more than he was letting on as well but Lady Potter had sworn him to secrecy. Sirius felt stupid keeping a secret from James but he believed that if he were James he would rather not know the truth. That was the only thing that made it easier.

"And soon we'll be out of here and things will get serious. This bloody war, it's so pitiful. I hate nobility," Sirius didn't know how many time's he'd heard this from James or himself. "If I had no nobility, no pureblood, I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life socialising with useless gits and making decisions with them." James was quiet for a while then stopped walking abruptly just as Sirius opened his mouth to speak. "And _then_ there is _her_." Sirius could see the anger in James' eyes now. Now they had reached the epicentre of everything, of James' life. "That girl, I swear! She walks around in only a little night dress which is practically lingerie and thinks she owns the bloody castle. I have no idea where her head is at now. On our first night here she tried to stand up for me against Snivellus, what is that? I don't need her help. Whatever happened to ignoring each other? It made things easy," James's voice died off at the end.

"Well, you never really ignored her," Sirius finally spoke.

"All the same, it was just easier when she ignored me but now I don't know what's going on. And I think I did start ignoring her, you know? Every day I find out something new. I know nothing about her private life now."

"But you know…"

"Yes, I know. Another thing about nobility, you can have a relationship with anyone you want except for the one you love."

They started back towards the castle and Sirius could feel the old James coming back after his little vent. "So Fabius Watkins, hey?" Sirius moved on to James' favourite subject.

James smiled for the first time all week.

"He'll be perfect."

* * *

><p>I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and it made a least a little bit of sense. I'm excited about this so if you want to keep on reading just tell me, otherwise I'll retreat back to universtiy assignments, <em>fun<em>.

X Miss Pomadour


	2. The Request in the Forest

A huge thank you to everybody who reviewed, story alerted and added the story to their favourites! In regards to my slightly awful grammar and proof reading, I have read over this chapter a number of times and I sincerely hope that nothing major is wrong. I am considering getting a Beta, I just have to sort some more important issues out first before I start my search. Also, I forgot to mention a little fun fact at the start of the last chapter: all the manor's named are actual places scattered around England. Needless to say, I had a great time finding homes for the characters!

* * *

><p>"<em>We do not see things as they are, we only see things as we are." - <em>Anais Win

...

"He has requested that we ask her to join." Two Slytherin's met in their Common Room at sunrise.

"How polite of him." The leaner of the two spoke light-heartedly.

"You have to get her to the forest." The other spoke grimly and grew frustrated with his fellow Slytherin's inability to seem serious. "I'll do the rest."

"And how do you imagine I do that?" He seemed bored.

"Make something up. _He_ has suggested you use Potter's cloak to disappear and leave her with me. The password is Owlpen."

"I know." The bored one sighed. "She will be there at the organised time but listen to me when I say that if she is hurt in anyway… well, you will pay for it." He got up from his seat and retreated back to his room. What a useless conversation.

* * *

><p>Evelyn Bell surveyed her petite frame in the mirror. Finally she had learned how to manage her long layered dark brown hair. She had learned how to make her deep blue eyes stand out with the right amount of mascara and eyeliner without looking like a raccoon and when she twisted her hair up into a messy French bun her admittedly perfect porcelain skin glowed. Yes, Evelyn Bell, after six years, finally felt truly beautiful. People would tell her that she was always gorgeous but now she felt it. With one last look she fixed her heart pendant necklace from some Muggle store titled Tiffany &amp; Co. She didn't know what it meant but she loved the necklace which she received from her father while he was on his travels. Her skirt was the perfect length for flirting and her top, well, that was just uniform and she couldn't do much about that.<p>

"Are you done?" Evelyn looked over her shoulder in the mirror. Mary was standing there impatiently with her arms crossed.

"Yes, I am." She smiled and Mary relaxed her arms.

"Alright, let's go meet Lil's." Mary did one last check of the room making sure she had everything then followed Evelyn out the door.

When the three girls were together it could remind you of a Muggle make-up or hair colouring advertisement due to their distinctly different coloured hair and features. Mary had the perfect warm blonde hair which fell into deep waves achieving volumes you could only dream of and went just below her shoulders sitting perfectly around her oval face. Lily's hair stood out the most, the deep red colour with slight waves that became more defined when it rained. All three were the most popular Gryffindor girls and always had the boys in line. It was the other popular girls, however, in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff like Georgia Brown and Penny Abbotts, that went for the boys. The Gryffindor girls were a little more reserved, preferring long term boyfriends over broom cupboard affairs. Mary was purely smitten with her boyfriend of three years, Ben Wood, but seventh year had found Lily and Evelyn single. Evelyn wanted a replacement for her previous boyfriend as soon as possible. It had been a messy break up over summer and she would rather just forget it all ever happened. Lily, she didn't know it yet but her future partner had already been chosen for her.

"Evans!" Evelyn rushed up to her friend and crushed her with a hug. "Can you believe how warm it is today?"

"Yeah and after today it'll cold for months. It always goes like this."

"Don't be such a downer. So, are we going to the lake or what?" Mary linked arms with Lily and Evelyn and they made their way down to the lake to sit on their favourite rock. It had been tradition since second year that on every sunny day the girls had free they would spend some hours down by the lake. Crushes and confessions had been whispered with courage and or humiliation on that rock. Their initials were even engraved into the stone on the side that faced out to the Great Lake. It was their spot. As soon as they reached the destination Evelyn laid out in her regular place foolishly trying to get a bit of colour. Mary and Lily sat next to her not even bothering to try.

"Lily, Lily, Lily. What are we going to do with you?" Evelyn sighed.

"What?" Lily looked down at her confused.

"You're going to leave us after this year! We can't go to any of your parties and…"

"Ev', I'm not going to leave you! Those boring things are only on once a month and do you really see me becoming one of those typical aristocrat wives?" Lily immediately thought of her mother and shuddered.

Evelyn mumbled something then Mary decided to change topic. "Don't kill me but what's it like living in such close quarters with Potter?" She asked mainly to stir Lily up and she got what she expected.

"I have nothing to do with him besides head duties and when I'm doing those it's downright torture." Lily stared unseeingly into the forest on the other side of the lake as she spoke. "He really thinks that he is so grand and mighty which makes living with him barely tolerable." There was no chance that Lily was going to tell her friends about her new desire for Potter to notice her.

"You know, I'm going to have to disagree with you on that one." Mary knew James quite well since her boyfriend used to share a dorm with him. "I think that's what you _want_ to see. Sure, there could be a bit of pride in there but it's James Potter and he was practically raised to be proud."

"Mary, there is no point changing my view of him. As you said, he was raised to be proud and I was raised to hate him. Simple as that." Lily faced Mary and shrugged in a careless way.

"Maybe you should just consider being friends. It might make this year a little easier."

"No way." Lily shook her head, missing Evelyn's smile at how predictable she was.

"Just think about it." Mary ended the topic knowing she had reached the limit of Potter talk for the day.

Evelyn and Mary chatted about something as Lily stared up at the castle to where the Head Dormitory would be. She wondered if James was in there, or was he with his friends? Was he thinking about her, did he _ever_ think about her anymore? Because if she thought about him more than he thought about her then something was terribly wrong. Her mind recalled something her Grandmother once told her about love - wait, this wasn't love! God, what was she thinking?

* * *

><p>"Remus, what are you doing here?" The pale student looked up to the voice and was surprised. A tanned girl with straight pitch black hair, like James and Sirius', stood in front of him.<p>

"Georgie, I could ask you the same thing." Remus put down his book. He was lying casually on his usual hospital wing bed, relaxing before nightfall.

"Well, I asked you first." She smiled and Remus felt something inside. He put it down as his body getting sick at the thought of becoming a werewolf yet again.

"Sick." He shrugged.

"Right."

"Brown, what can I do for you?" A very young nurse named Madam Pomfrey, as Remus had just learned earlier that day, addressed the student. Georgia side glanced at Remus then walked a few metres away so he couldn't hear. What Georgia didn't know was that Remus' senses right now were incredibly strong. So when he heard Georgia requesting a potion to complete a pregnancy test he was fully taken aback. Pomfrey fetched a clear potion and handed it to Georgia with some instructions and left the students again.

"Georgia?"

"What?" She said too quickly. Glancing down at the potion then at Remus again, she gently placed the tiny bottle in her bag.

"What… why aren't you taking that here in a safe environment?"

Georgia raised her perfectly shaped brows, "It's not for me." The vibe between them changed as Georgia grew cold and defensive. "Get better, Remus." He watched her walk out while so many thoughts ran through his head. Who would it be for? He listed all her friends in his mind and couldn't think of any that would get in that situation. They were still at school for Merlin's sake! Remus was mid thought when Sirius burst through the double doors, (dare I say it), like a boss.

Flicking his hair out of his eyes and clapping his hands together loudly he walked over to Remus. "Moony!" He shouted and jumped up onto the neighbouring bed making himself comfortable. He put his hands behind his head and faced his friend. "Are you all set?" Excitement was evident in Sirius' grey eyes.

"Totally."

"Bril'. It'll be great. The first one's back always are." Sirius talked more to himself than to Remus. "Hey, isn't it good that Prongsie is back to normal?"

"It's only been a couple of days and _Prongsie _will be back to his gloomy self as soon as he finds out that his little protégé, Fabius Watkins, won't be able to play on the dream team." It was like clockwork, even Sirius would admit it, because at the moment Remus stopped talking James burst through the double doors hitting them twice as hard as Sirius. Actually, James' entrance was a bit standard after Sirius'. The other two Marauders exchanged a look.

"Minnie must be going through menopause." James accused and there was a small cough from the corner desk. "Who are you?" He asked as if he owned the hospital wing.

"Excuse me!" The young nurse stood up, "I would be Madam Pomfrey, the new nurse. So unless you don't want me to help you, please, continue acting the way you are. Also, McGonagall went through menopause a _long_ time ago." Pomfrey smirked before settling back down to her paper work. James turned to find Sirius' head buried in a pillow as his body violently shook.

"Sirius, get a grip of yourself. So, the story is I can't have Watkins on my team, therefore I don't have the dream team and therefore we lose to Ravenclaw."

"James, it won't be that bad." Remus reassured him.

"Are you going to catch the snitch, Moony?"

He scoffed, "Not a chance."

"Precisely." There was a moment of silence and a sort of seriousness came over the boys. "Tonight will be good." James said in a mediocre voice, his thoughts clearly somewhere else.

"Prongs." James faced Remus with a look of disappointment.

"Go try again. The James I know doesn't give up on the first round."

"I guess." James thought about it. "Alright, I'm off. See you later, Remus."

"Wait, I'll come with." Sirius rolled off the bed and joined James.

* * *

><p>Lily, Mary and Evelyn slowly climbed up the hill towards the castle. It was about mid-afternoon and they were all growing hungry. Clouds loomed on the horizon with the threat of rain but it had been the perfect day out and Lily felt refreshed for the week ahead. They entered the castle and she spotted James already at the table with Sirius and Peter.<p>

"I just need to ask Potter something. I'll come back and sit with you guys in a second."

"Why don't we all go sit with the boys? We're all friends." Mary suggested being the closest to the Marauders. Evelyn agreed and it became apparent that Lily had no choice but to sit with the boys for lunch. Perfect, one more hour spent with Potter. She reminded herself to stay civil and relaxed.

"Hey guys." Evelyn made their presence known as they sat next to the Marauders.

Sirius looked up, then down, then up again, "Bell."

"Yes?" Evelyn wasn't really a fan of Sirius. She saw him as just a player and once upon a time that was the truth.

"Looking good." Sirius shrugged and Evelyn felt all eyes fall on her then back to Sirius. Confused, she sat down next to Peter and scanned the food on offer. She watched as Mary sat next to her boyfriend, Ben, who was also sitting with the Marauders and suddenly she regretted the decision to sit with the boys. Who was she supposed to talk to? She could have a two minute conversation with Peter that would end awkwardly as they had nothing in common. Or she could talk to Sirius who had just made everything awkward straight off the bat. Or she could wait till Lily finished with James and talk to them, or not.

"Potter." Lily turned to face James. It felt weird sitting next to him and to be honest she couldn't even remember the last time they did sit together.

"Lily?" He put down his sandwich. Lily quickly wondered why James would make a sandwich when there was a lot better food on offer. "Yeah?" He brought her back.

"Oh yeah, um, I need you to do patrol with me tonight. Denis is sick."

"Can't."

"Why not!"

"I told you, Lily. I will do anything but these nights." His voice was low and final and Lily got the clear message that he did not want to discuss this any further. Still, she persisted because that's what Lily did.

"You're Head Boy." There goes civil.

"You're Head Girl, you can do it yourself or with another prefect." Lily raised her eyebrows at the head boy's response. James thought about what he said, "Actually –"

"No, that's fine. I can do it by myself."

"No, I'll find you someone. If not I'll…" James really didn't want to commit to patrol tonight.

"Potter, I'll do it myself like you suggested." She was mocking him now. For some reason Lily loved this. Pushing Potter to see just how far he'd go.

"You can't do it by yourself, Lily. It's too –"

"Dangerous? You didn't seem to worry about that a second ago."

"I wasn't thinking." James was getting frustrated now.

"Thanks for your help, Potter." Lily smirked and walked out of the Hall without eating or saying goodbye to her friends. Well, that cut the hour down significantly.

"What did you say to Lily?" Mary asked from across the table.

"Nothing." James shook his head in frustration and soon followed Lily's footsteps. The others just watched him leave, all wondering the same thing. How long will it take?

"Lily!" James ran after her. It wasn't hard to catch up, "Wait."

Lily was running out of breath from walking so fast but James seemed fine which annoyed her. "What do you want now?" He didn't answer as they both walked incredibly fast, trying to outdo each other. They turned the last corner and Lily ran straight into Snape.

"Ow!" She rubbed her forehead and cursed her bad luck at being caught between these two again.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Snape had a look of genuine concern.

"What are you doing up here?" James was straight to the point, Lily would be fine. There really was no reason for Snape to be up this way in the castle.

"What do you care, Potter?" Snape spat James' surname as he reached for Lily's hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She stepped back away from Snape but ran into James behind her. He instantly placed his hands on her shoulders making all three of them pause and take in the scenario. Snape stood there seeing his enemy hold onto the girl he loved, giving him strength in the form of anger to do what he had been asked to do later that day. James held onto Lily which didn't give him the sense of victory that one would imagine it would. Instead he simply felt right. And Lily, though she would never admit it, she felt right too and for a quick second she allowed herself to imagine that this was how it was. Naturally, the pause was only short-lived.

"Potter, let go of me!"

"Did you invite him up here again!" James stepped away.

"Oh c'mon, Potter. Let's use some common sense now shall we?"

"Fuck off, Snivellus."

"Both of you should just go!" Lily walked passed Snape finally getting around the corner and opened the portrait.

Lily rushed for her room but James grabbed her arm before she could get away. She didn't realise he was so close behind her. It felt violent due to Lily's quick movement to get to her room but the touch reminded her of that night. The night that had been so uninteresting and pushed to the back of her mind till recently and it frustrated her that she thought of it so often.

"Lily, stop." She rolled her eyes. Lily, Lily, Lily.

"Stop saying my name like that, Potter!"

He let go of her arm, "I don't care how I say your name and we didn't get to finish our conversation. You _know _why I can't do patrol tonight. I know you do! You and Remus were Gryffindor prefects for two years, you can't say you don't know!"

Lily looked away. She knew only the most basic version and she knew that the three other Marauders went out as Animagi. She had figured that out herself but that was all she knew. "Well, I thought that maybe you could do both, since you're so brilliant and all."

"Very funny and if I could yeah, but I can't. My full attention goes to Remus. How about you just forget about patrols tonight?"

Lily thought about it. It would only be for a night, "Fine." Lily accepted James' suggestion as if it were a dare. Now there was an awkward silence. She looked at James, he was so handsome and she hated that it drove her mad that he didn't seem to notice her like he used to. It was like all she wanted was his full attention the same way he gave it to Remus and his other friends. He smiled at her in a sort of victory then moved to his bedroom. She followed and saw him lying on his bed horizontally, eyes shut. She stared at him for a minute or two not really knowing what she was doing.

"Evans," She jumped back, maybe his eyes weren't fully closed "can I help you?"

"No." She quickly turned into her room without shutting the door and fell onto her own bed in embarrassment. The idea of not doing patrol tonight bothered her. Dumbledore had given her this position because he trusted her. Merlin knew why he gave it to James but she wasn't going to let Dumbledore down. She would just do patrol alone. Besides, this was Hogwarts, how dangerous could it be? She heard James move and shuffle around his room from her bed. Lily moved so she could just see into his room. It seemed so untouchable, like it was so far away from her. Lily had contemplated snooping before but thought better of it. The last thing she wanted was to be caught by James in his room. She watched as he walked back and forth across the area she could see. Things were beginning to be thrown around and Lily wondered what he was doing. Soon he became verbal; swear words and frustrated sighs were loud and clear, then something was slammed. Lily wondered if she should ask what the matter was and just as she went to get off the bed James appeared at her door.

"Lily." He said with a firm voice.

"Yes?"

"Have you seen an old cloak, blanket sort of thing?" He gestured with his hands and Lily tilted her head in confusion.

"Sorry, I haven't."

"Have you or has anyone else been in my room?"

"No." James seemed stumped at this and his brow furrowed as Lily waited for the next question. It never came though. James left the heads room slamming the door behind him leaving an utterly lost, but slightly amused, Lily in his wake. Sighing, Lily rolled over onto her stomach and continued to think about the boy. She couldn't be friends with him like Mary had suggested. After everything they had been through it was impossible. But then where was all this interest in Potter coming from? He had been so horrible to her and she had been the same to him successfully for two years now. She hated Potter just like her family did, she knew she did, she had to.

"Sirius seemed… interested." Mary bumped hips with Evelyn who was walking beside her towards the Common Room.

"Oh please, if anything I'd be a crush to past the time or a fuck to pass the moment."

"Ouch. You two would make a good match then, right? You want to forget about Leon and Sirius just wants... Well who know's what Sirius wants." Mary teased, or at least Evelyn thought she was teasing.

"What if I want a relationship like yours and Ben's? Simple, carefree… everything! You are so lucky to have him." Mary smiled at Evelyn's words. She was proud at how true they were.

"Well maybe that's what Sirius needs and wants as well."

"What's with you today? Telling Lily to befriend Potter and me to consider Black! Summer made you crazy."

They reached the portrait at the same time as James who looked as if he had just run the perimeter of Hogwarts.

"Potter, where's Lily?" Evelyn asked.

"In the Head Dorm, you girls can go up there if you want. I'll be down here for a while." James offered, eager to get past the Fat Lady.

"Okay, thanks."

"Oh, password is Owlpen."

"Owlpen?" the girls asked together.

"OwlPen Manor, Remus' house." James shrugged as if it were general knowledge then climbed through the portrait hole.

"Lily!" Lily jumped at the sound of her name.

"I'm in here!" She called.

"Oh, hey." Mary walked into the room. Lily peaked behind her and saw Evelyn peering into James's room.

"Ev'" She warned. Mary turned around to see what was happening.

"Ahhh, James Potter's _private _room. Is he as much as a mess in there as he was back in the dorms?" Mary had spent countless hours in the Marauder's dormitory due to Ben and had unwillingly witnessed the messes that the boys had the ability to produce. She followed Evelyn into James' room casually, "Wow! He's _messier_! What the hell?"

"Mary." Lily sent her a look.

"Lily, you seriously haven't been in here yet?" Evelyn asked beginning to walk further into the room.

"Mary, he was looking for something and no, I haven't and I don't think you should be snooping." Lily couldn't believe she was making excuses for Potter's mess.

"He wouldn't care. Besides, he said he'd be down at the Common Room for a while." Mary shrugged.

"You ran into him?"

"How else do you think we got in here?" Evelyn called out from the depths of the unknown. "C'mon Lil's."

Lily walked over but just stood at the door, it just didn't feel right to go in and that felt stupid.

"Maybe we could find some Marauder stuff!" Excitement ran across Evelyn's face.

"Like what?" Lily watched as Evelyn picked up, unfolded, then set back down a blank yet tattered piece of parchment.

"You won't. Trust me, Ben and I have tried for years to figure out their secrets. Then again, I'm sure Ben knows plenty he just doesn't share." Mary said more to herself than to anyone else.

Lily wasn't interested in the Marauders though. Evelyn had found a photo album and flicked through it while Mary looked over her shoulder. Lily sighed and walked back into her own room. James' room would be like Pandora's Box and she was not going in.

* * *

><p>Georgia Brown was like every other Ravenclaw, very academic and very social. Anyone would say that Georgia had a bright future ahead of her. Her parents had pushed her through school with weekly letters encouraging her to do well in her exams. Naturally, Georgia did just that, constantly receiving high marks. She could produce any potion Slughorn demanded of her. Transfigure anything McGonagallplaced in front of her and her defence against the Dark Arts was faultless and could almost match that of James Potter's. Georgia's OWLS were all Outstanding's and her parents had never been so proud. In her spare time Georgia turned to boys. They loved her and she loved them. She was selective but there were just so many good looking boys in her year and the few above that she couldn't help herself. Georgia also had her faults, like everyone else, but one fault had developed excessively over summer and that was stress. Coming up to returning to Hogwarts, Georgia's parents placed an extreme amount of pressure on her. With this, Georgia acted. They were in Provence, France a destination her family visited every year. Her older brother and mother loved Herbology so the whole family annually stayed in a farm house surrounded with lavenders and sunflowers.<p>

He was cute with messy brown hair and deep dark eyes. He was a Muggle but this didn't faze Georgia, they had seen each other every summer since they were ten. Years later here they were again and he had suggested, in his gorgeous French accent, that they go for a walk in the lavender fields and have a picnic. She agreed of course. They talked about everything, he knew she was a witch so she gave her annual update on Hogwarts and he laughed at her stories. Everything was easy, the sun was shining down on her face and shoulders and her white summer dress moved slightly in the lavender scented breeze. He always made her feel so light, carefree and young.

They reached an old white brick shed with a rusted roof where they retreated from the heat inside. There was nothing in there besides a few old sundried bunches of lavenders which hung upside down from a wooden awning. He laid out the picnic blanket he was carrying and they sat. Eventually the talking slowed down and Georgia caught his eye and they kissed. It was sweet and simple then in no time the kiss grew into something more serious. Before Georgia knew it she was removing his shirt and he was guiding her to lie down without getting in the dust that covered the floor. Georgia, of course, didn't have her wand and he didn't have anything either but she decided to go on with it. Everything was too perfect to stop. It was the most amazing sex she had ever had, there in that shed.

Now Georgia was in a cold stone room. It was dark outside and she felt incredibly alone. The stress had returned and anxiety was beginning to take over. Constantly she told herself not to worry but her parents' voices rang in her ears like bells. After sometime of thinking about nothing at all Georgia dug through her bag and pulled out the small bottle of clear liquid and stared at it unseeingly, had she really sunk to this level? A knock at the door brought her out of her reverie.

"Georgia, are you done? I need to use the bathroom!" Georgia's roommate Betty called.

"Yeah sorry, I'm done." She quickly stuffed the potion back in her bag and flushed the toilet to pretend that she was actually in there for something.

"Sorry." Georgia smiled at Betty and kept walking out of the dorm. If she could help it, she would go without the medication for as long as possible.

* * *

><p>Lily finished her homework and checked her watch. It was nowhere near time for patrol, she had considered not doing it again but finally decided to just do a quick run around earlier than normal. She pulled on a clean white cardigan and left the head rooms. The corridors were strangely empty. Dinner had finished some time ago and Lily now just assumed that everyone decided to stay in their common rooms due to the chill. She was only thirty minutes in when she heard someone behind her. She turned to see who it was and groaned inwardly.<p>

"Severus." She acknowledged.

"Lily, are you on patrol?" She continued to walk and he fell into step with her.

"Yes." He seemed anxious about something but Lily couldn't figure it out. She noticed he had his bookbag which appeared rather bulky, "What's with the bag?"

"I was in the library. Listen, I think you ought to know that I saw some students outside." Lily looked at him for the first time that night. Her immediate thought was that it was a lie but Severus convinced her otherwise. "There were two of them running straight towards the forest."

"Well, the forest isn't particularly close, Severus. How do you know that that's where they were heading?"

Snape was quiet for a moment, "I just think that we should check it out."

"_We_?"

"I don't see Potter around to accompany you and it's too dangerous to go out alone."

"Potter is busy." That reminded Lily of something. "I don't think we should go out ourselves, perhaps a teacher would be more suitable? Or no one at all." The reason why James wasn't with her was the exact same reason why she shouldn't go outside.

"I know what you're thinking but these are students! Remus will be locked up some-"

"Hey! You don't need to talk about him, got it?" Lily stopped walking as they reached the Entrance Hall. She looked at the doors with her hands on her hips. It wouldn't take too long to get out, find the students and get back in. And as Snape said, Remus wouldn't actually be out on the grounds. "Fine, but only for half an hour and if we don't find them they get left behind and we'll report to a teacher."

James stared into the darkness of the Hogwarts grounds from his old dorm window. Night had fallen over the area like a curtain and even though it was full moon everything was black as thick clouds loomed across the moon. He ran his hand through his hair and thought about Moony down at the Shrieking Shack, already a werewolf and already in pain. It was soon time to go but something didn't feel right. James shook his head, what could go wrong? They had done this so many times now and nothing had ever happened. A few close calls, yes, but nothing sincerely horrible had occurred.

"Alright?" Sirius appeared next to James who turned his back to the window and faced the room. Everything had been turned over and looked through. The cloak was missing and that made James nervous. A feeling of dread stirred within him as he had run out of places to look. "I'm sure it'll pop up somewhere, mate." James could tell that Sirius was also worried about the loss of the heirloom but it wasn't his father's and as much as Sirius may have admired the cloak he still wouldn't see the situation the same way as James. "Ready?"

"Sure, let's go." James went to look over the map that sat on his old bed one more time.

"There's no time for that Prongs," Peter pulled James away from the map, "we have to go." The shorter Gryffindor threw a blanket over the map so no one would find it and led James out of the room along with Sirius. They had waited until a little later tonight, deciding to have dinner first then make sure that Pomfrey was fully preoccupied and not looking out a window at the Whomping Willow just in case. Without coming across another student the boys made their way to the Entrance Hall. Peter turned into a rat and scurried off to the willow. It was unusually cold out and James looked forward to turning into Prongs and to start running to warm up. It wasn't long until the cursed tree stopped moving and James and Sirius entered the passage way towards Remus.

Lily pulled her cardigan tighter to fight against the cold. Sitting down by the lake in the warm sun seemed like months ago. She didn't know how far they had walked into the forest but it felt like it was time to head back to the castle. She lit the tip of her wand and checked her watch, they had been out for an hour.

"Severus, it's time to go back." Lily turned around but he wasn't there. She had been in the lead for majority of the way but surely she would have noticed him leave. She swore that she had heard him following her. Had she been so caught up in her own thoughts, in her own world? Lily noticed that she had no idea where she was now. Her heart beat began to quicken and she swore at herself for being so stupid.

"Good Evening." Lily whipped around to face the cold male voice. The figure wore a long cloak and their face was shadowed by a hood.

"Who are you?" She tried to place the voice. Was this one of the students Severus mentioned?

"That's unimportant to you. I've come upon request."

"Request?" Lily almost wanted to laugh, it sounded so pathetic.

"Yes, the Dark –" the voice was cut off by a howl and the hairs on Lily's arms rose. "The Dark Lord has noticed that you do not… _express_ the same beliefs as your parents."

"So?" She was putting the puzzle together now but how could someone from the outside get into Hogwarts?

"So, he requests that you join his group of followers like your family."

"Why would he want that?" Lily tested.

"You are a clever witch and a beautiful girl, why wouldn't he?"

Now Lily laughed coldly, "You can run back to your little _Dark Lord _and tell him that I, Lily Evans, will never join him."

"Don't be so stupid. Your whole family has joined the ranks of the Dark Lord! If you don't do it now on your free will you will be forced to join!" Frustration could be detected in the man's words.

"Well you'll have to force me or, alternatively, kill me." The man faltered here. Lily knew that no one would set a finger on her. She had won this bizarre conflict. "Now, if you are a student I suggest –" She began walking towards the person but stopped at his voice.

"Fool! You have no idea what you're doing and I wouldn't stay out here for too long, it could prove rather… deadly." Lily heard a strange sound and the man was gone. She hadn't been afraid of him but now that she was alone again she became somewhat frightened. The howl sounded again and this time it was closer.

"Shit." Lily swore to herself, she didn't know which way was out but decided to run in the opposite direction of the howling.

The clouds moved to reveal the moon allowing light to filter through the leaves and into the forest. James galloped to keep up with the werewolf who was more restless tonight than normal. Eventually Remus stopped and howled. James looked down at Sirius who had decided to lie down and was panting heavily. Peter also laid next Sirius. As Prongs, James could run a remarkable distance without faltering but tonight had been tough and the stag was growing weary. Abruptly, Remus became alert. Sirius lifted his shaggy dog head, he heard it too. James had missed it, however and Remus began to move slowly, sniffing out his prey. Sirius stood up and Peter climbed onto his back. James saw it now, a person in white running through the forest. Remus began to move faster and James jumped in front of him pushing the werewolf back with his antlers but he wouldn't stop moving forward.

Lily ran and ran, her breath was gone and only adrenaline kept her going. She began to hear what sounded like a dog barking. Then there was another howl from what she was now sure was a wolf. It was close, too close. Stories that her cousins had told her about people being torn apart by packs of wolves ran through her mind. She pulled her wand out from her jeans and sent back a curse that she hoped would slow them down.

A rush of pain ran through James causing his front legs to give way. Remus pushed him aside now and Sirius continued to, ineffectively, deter him from the person running. James shut his eyes in pain and clenched his muscles. Managing to stand back up again he noticed blood on his front right leg. Ignoring it he caught back up to Remus who had slowed down.

She had been going so fast and was getting away so well until she fell. Lily felt all chance leave her as she lay on the dirt again. The wolves had stopped barking and things had become too quiet. She lay silently with the tiniest strand of hope that she wouldn't be found.

James couldn't move anymore he had to change back into human form to fix the cut. He lagged behind and could see Sirius struggling more and more to contain Remus.

Lily heard leaves move behind her, then a howl that was so loud it made her heart stop. Without thinking, she screamed.

He heard her and felt himself go pale, if a stag could go pale that is. James changed back into a human and felt his heart beating out of his chest as he hid behind a tree.

"Expecto Patronum!" He cried as he dared to peer out. A silvery white stag ran in his place towards Remus. They had used a Patronus before the distract Remus as a werewolf. He was attracted the brightness as if it were a full moon and normally would chase it away.

A bright light came towards her and the werewolf. Lily lifted her head squinting, she recognised the light. It was the stag, the silvery white stag that saved her years ago. The Patronus distracted the wolf which followed the silver stag away. Lily then saw the dog, not wolf, she had heard. It was large and gave her a look that she didn't know dogs could give but it too ran off after the wolf. The bright stag disappeared and the next howl seemed far away. Lily let her head fall back onto the dirt. She had almost died but her mind was stuck on the stag, the Patronus. It was only moments until she heard the leaves around her move again. She thought it would be the anonymous man to give her another threat.

"_Go away_."

James gaped at her. "You stupid, _stupid_ girl!" He could not contain his anger at the person lying on the ground in front of him.

Lily recognised this voice and perhaps it made her just as scared as the werewolf did. A million things ran through her mind now. The werewolf was Remus, why had she not realised that? Then if that was true the dog was one of the Marauders. Sirius, she guessed because now James Potter was standing above her. So did that make the stag…?

"What the FUCK are you doing?" He spat and she winced at his rage.

"Potter." Lily moved to get up. She hated being lower than James right now but even when she stood she still felt inferior.

"Don't you even start, just follow me." James began walking and Lily struggled to keep up. She didn't dare say anything until they were out of the forest.

"James," She grabbed his arm but recoiled when he hissed in pain. In the moonlight Lily realised she had his blood on her hand. "What happened?" Her eyebrows were furrowed in stress and confusion while her heartbeat failed to slow down.

"_You_ happened!" Lily was still confused. "That curse you sent at Remus hit me. Thank you for that by the way, much appreciated."

"I'm…"

"Sorry? Yeah, me too." The lights of the castle fell onto them and Lily was frightened by James' expression. Her stomach had dropped at James' news. She had sent a particularly nasty curse.

"James, you need to go to the hospital wing for that."

"You would know. Where did you learn such a curse anyway, Snape?" James never looked at her while he spoke, he focused only on what was ahead of him.

His accusation was actually true but Lily said nothing about it. She ran to keep up with him, "That stag, it's –"

"What stag?"

So he was going to play _this_ game. She decided not to push any further for now and entered the castle behind him. "Where are we going?"

James had opened a large picture of some landscape which Lily had once realised changed with the seasons. He pretended not to hear her and began climbing a spiralling staircase. Lily didn't ask again and continued followed him. Soon they went through another hole and were right in front of the portrait which opened to their rooms.

"Owlpen." James grumbled and climbed through with Lily close behind. He walked some way then turned to face Lily who timidly walked into the room not sure where she should stand.

"Why?" James sighed dragging a hand down his face and Lily relaxed the smallest bit.

She contemplated telling James the truth, telling him that she and Severus had gone out together then he disappeared but he wouldn't believe her. So she went back to where she left off before, "The stag is -"

"Why?" James wouldn't move off the topic. He crossed his arms and glared at Lily even though his voice had softened. James knew what she was getting at. He knew she would remember his Patronus from that horrible night.

"You wouldn't believe me." She looked down at her cardigan. It was covered in dirt, sweat and smears of James' blood. She looked at his arm which was no longer bleeding from what she could see. Perhaps he had done a spell somewhere along the way but eventually it would start again without proper care.

"Try me."

"I went to do patrol earlier than normal."

"I thought we agreed."

"Yeah well, I changed my mind." Lily looked up at James who was shaking his head. She felt like a little girl in trouble.

"You changed your mind? And what, didn't ask anyone for help?" his voice was becoming bitter again.

"Obviously not, Potter. Anyway, Severus told me there were students outside so we went out together. Then somewhere along the way he disappeared and this other guy turned up." Lily didn't care what he thought anymore but James grew interested. "He asked me to join Voldemort and his followers like my parents." James' eyebrows rose at this. "Then he left, then Remus and… and the stag which is –"

"What did you say?"

Lily groaned, "What do you think?" James only shrugged. "I said no, Merlin do you really believe that I would say yes?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore, Lily. I thought I trusted you."

Lily laughed coolly for a second time that night, "Trust? Potter, what would you know about trust?"

"A damn lot and that's what I honestly thought, that we trusted each other in our positions." His voice rose.

"_You left_!" Lily didn't know where it came from but now she was seething, "How could I trust _you_!" James looked as if he'd been slapped. "You just left! What was I supposed to do after that? Trust you completely with all my heart? God James, I haven't trusted you since then and never could!"

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? I am talking about when you played with me and made me feel worth something all before you just left! Like everybody else, everybody leaves, just like you."

Now he knew, "You think I led you on?"

"Please, I _know_ you led me on. Taking advantage of a young girl." Lily lowered her voice.

"I was the same age as you! It seems to me that you have twisted that night around in your mind."

"Oh, I don't think so. Clearly _you_ have just forgotten but I've been cursed with this night and can't get rid of it!" Lily moved around the room as she spoke pointing to herself.

"I haven't forgotten any of it. I, like you, think about it often and more so now that we share this bloody space!" James gestured around the room. Lily stopped moving, this was new. Her mind was doing some quick thinking when James spoke again but in a much softer voice. "I didn't lead you on," He felt horrible that Lily had developed that impression, "but then Snape..." He looked pained as he looked down at the floor then over to Lily. "Lily, we were too young."

_Too young,_ the words rang in Lily's ears. The facial features on both of them had relaxed and now they appeared exhausted. "Too young." Lily whispered and nodded slightly becoming lost in her thoughts.

James smiled weakly but Lily missed it as she collapsed onto an armchair facing away from him. "But" She started, then when she faced him he was gone and his door was closed. She imagined that he didn't have the strength to be angry with her anymore or to fight so he simply retreated. Lily could only think of two things then and they were that James had not forgotten and the Patronus.


	3. Friends?

Soo the hate seems to have been piled on Evelyn! I must admit, I agree with you. I didn't see her becoming a classic Mary Sue in front of my own eyes. As I'm sure I mentioned in the first chapter I haven't written any fanfiction for a long time so please excuse me if I fall for the odd trap. Evelyn's storyline has been changed somewhat and she doesn't feature much in this chapter at all just so I can figure some things out but next chap she'll be back ( and please don't hate her). Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it makes my day! Also to all the new favourites and alerts, thank you as well. So without further ado here is the next chapter!

* * *

><p>Will you tell me once again<br>How we're gonna be just friends  
>If you're for real and not pretend<br>Then I guess you can hang with me  
>- Robyn (Hang With Me)<p>

...

Cothelstone Manor, Serverus' house, was not how Lily remembered it, especially tonight. It was the New Year party and they were in fourth year.

"Lily." Severus whispered in her ear as she watched the older people dance, hoping that she looked as thin and beautiful as the other girls.

"Hmm?"

"Come outside, you _have_ to see this!" Lily grew interested at his excitement but still wanted to see the end of the dance.

"I will but can't it wait, Sev'?"

"No, come on." He grabbed her tiny wrist and led her out of the house. Lily was thankful that Severus had remembered their coats because it was so cold out. A white layer of frost covered the dead grass that surrounded the home. The sky was clear but even the stars looked cold far up in the heavens. They walked along the house and then out into the field through a rusty iron gate in the old stone fence.

James Potter, in fourth year, was in love with Lily Evans. Unfortunately for James he was also conceited in fourth year, so when he saw Snape, his worst enemy, sneak Lily out of the room he had to follow. Sirius was having an argument with Regulus so really he had nothing better to do. James had suspected Snape's deeper feelings for Lily for some time now and though he would never admit it, he was jealous of their friendship. _He_ wanted to be that close to Lily and the fact that their family issues stopped them first and foremost angered him. He had once been so proud to be a part of all this Nobility but now it had lost its shine and worth. Did he still aim to be his father? Maybe not so much but Lord Potter was still his idol. However, with every year that past, in the twelve quick months that followed this annual party, he would discover something new that would make him feel trapped. James Potter would never say any of this though. That would be letting his family down. Every day he acted as if this was everything he wanted to do and wanted to be.

They weren't out of the house for long when Lily heard the violins, piano and other instruments stop. The new-found silence made her turn around and face the house but then everything grew colder, just like they said it would. The frost was beginning to freeze and the icy air stung her lungs making it hard to breath.

"Look, Lily!" Snape pointed towards dark figures in the sky.

"Oh my God, Sev'!" Lily began to run back.

"No, they won't hurt us. Lily! You can't go back in there now. You have to wait."

"Why?" Lily began to feel the despair that came with the company of the floating figures in the sky.

"Because," Snape hesitated, "the Death Eaters are in there now. They brought the Dementor's just in case."

"In case of what, Severus!" The dark figures, Dementors, grew closer to them. Snape didn't answer as he now realised that maybe they wouldn't be spared by the soul sucking figures.

"Lily, just run. I'm sorry! Quick!" Snape collected Lily's hand again but she couldn't keep up. She had no energy because she had barley eaten in the days following Christmas.

"You keep going Sev', I'll catch up." Snape hesitated again but decided to do as he was told. Lily felt the hairs on her arms rise and an unbearable blanket of coldness swept over her small frame.

James watched from behind the stone fence as the Dementors grew closer and Snape left Lily in the field. The Slytherin had spotted him on the other side of the gate.

"I'm getting help," He seethed, "and your family deserves whatever's coming." James watched unaffected as the boy ran towards the house. He doubted he'd come back.

Lily curled up into a ball on the wet grass. They had had a lesson on Dementors late last year but she never imagined it to be so horrifying. They were so close now. Then there it was. The white light, Lily closed her eyes believing that this was her death. She could see the light through her closed eyes it was so bright. Rather quickly, things became warmer and she felt okay. She dared to open her eyes and in front of her, as if inspecting to see if she was fine, was a silvery white stag. It was truly the brightest thing she had ever seen. Timidly, she reached out to touch it, holding her breath. She had never seen a Patronus before.

"Lily!" The call caused the animal to look up then vanish. Disappointment ran through Lily for a second before she saw people running towards here.

"Lily, sweetheart!" Lady Evans knelt in the cold wet grass to pick up her daughter. More people rushed over including Lily's father and the last thing she saw was the anger in his eyes.

James watched from afar as the group crowded over Lily. He felt his father's presence before he saw him. Lord Potter silently stood next to his son and cast down a look. James couldn't make out the meaning so he just continued to watch the group ahead, avoiding eye contact with his father from then on. Was he angry that he had used that spell or was he proud that he had saved her? James wasn't to know it but with the sunrise he would receive the talk. The one where he would be told about years and years of Potter and Evans history. The one where he would be told that he would never be able to have a relationship with Lily Evans, it was simply not allowed. Then James Potter would pretend some more. He would pretend that this didn't faze him, besides he was only young, why should it? Then in the next year he would pretend he didn't understand it and or had forgotten about the silly rule. After that year he would pretend that he didn't care again and then finally he would accept it. But accepting does not always mean agreeing or liking.

* * *

><p>Remus waited patiently for his friends to arrive. The morning sun was now burning through the hospital windows but a chill still occupied the castle. He knew last night had gone horribly wrong and his fellow Marauders would be here any moment. James was the first to arrive. Immediately Remus noticed a bandage around his arm which was soaked in blood and James nursed it gently showing he was still in pain.<p>

"How are you?" James was the first to speak. He laid down on the bed where Sirius had been the day before and shut his eyes clenching his jaw.

"I'm… Alright, exhausted actually. Did I do that?" Remus tried his hardest to recall the events from the night but no particular scratching came to mind.

"No, don't worry about it. Where's that Pomfrey girl?" James still didn't open his eyes. The night before was taking its toll and the only reason he was down here early was so he would miss Lily. The last thing he wanted was to run into her now. Last night ended with an extreme mix of feelings. He was angry, no _furious,_ at her for being so naïve to follow Snape out to the forest at night but then there was the very last thing they talked about. He hated that something that had happened so long ago was playing so much on his mind now. He wished Lily hadn't brought it up but then again, it would've happened eventually. Clearly by the way she spoke, she had been holding it inside for a long time. This too played on James, for how long _had_ Lily been thinking about it?

"She'll be in soon." Remus said referring to Madam Pomfrey. Sirius and Peter walked in next, both looking extremely tired and only just able to hold themselves up.

"Feeling alright, Moony? You were very active last night." Sirius didn't mean to come across so coldly but he was done and it surprised him how he managed to get up that morning. He collapsed onto the bed next to Remus that James hadn't taken and Peter sat on the one next to James. "Have you found it yet, Prongs?"

"No."

"Found what?" Remus looked from Sirius to James, who still hadn't opened his eyes.

"The cloak."

"_The_ cloak, how did you get out last night?"

"We just went." James said casually. "But yes, it's missing and we've looked everywhere. Maybe you could have a Remus-look and find it." A Remus-look was like a mothers-look and they always found things.

"I can try but... how could we lose it?" Remus was confused. The boys looked after that cloak as if it were a child. They always knew where it was at all times.

"James, your arm!" Peter noticed James' bleeding arm which was lying across his stomach now. James opened his eyes to see that the bandage was no longer effective.

"Where's Pomfrey?" He repeated through gritted teeth. Then there was also _that_, Lily's curse. He honestly didn't know how to feel about her right now.

"Do something about it!" Peter urged, "That's pure blood going to waste."

A deathly silence rang between the boys who all cast glares at Peter. In the distance you could hear students making their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. A few birds chirped outside randomly but not a single sound was made by the boys.

Until, "What!" James didn't believe what he had just heard.

"Nothing, I should, um, get Remus some breakfast." Peter turned to leave.

"No, who cares whether James is pure-blood or not!" Sirius was furious at Peter, he sounded like a true Black in that moment. Not because of what he said but how he said it, which made Peter flinch.

"That's not what I meant. I mean, you just can't let it bleed forever." Peter struggled to get the words out.

"I believe it would be wise of you to leave, Peter." Remus said evenly but by no means friendly. It was more of a warning than anything else and Peter took no hesitation in fleeing the scene. As he did Madam Pomfrey entered the room and was surprised to see the boys there.

"Remus, how are you." She smiled kindly.

"Fine but James here needs help." Remus looked pointedly at James causing Pomfrey's smile to fade very quickly.

"Did you do this?" She looked back at Remus while examining James' arm.

"How could he have done it? I don't run around with Remus when he's a werewolf." James answered first. "It's just from a fight with another student."

Sirius looked at James silently. He thought about Evans out there in the forest, he had gone to sleep furious with her and had now woken up the same way.

"This is dark magic, Potter. You have to tell me who it was." Pomfrey walked to a cabinet, picked out a potion, cotton bud and bandage. James tried not to wince as she dabbed the potion onto his arm then wrapped it tightly in a bandage. "Potter?"

"I don't know who it was. It doesn't matter, can we just let this one slid?"

"Or…" Sirius began but James silenced him with a look. Remus grew confused, who was it?

"Fine, but if it happens again I'll have to report it."

"Thank you." A wave of relief swept over James.

"You're welcome. Now, just leave this on for two more days and your arm will be good as new. Remus, I expect you to make sure he does. If that's all I can help you with boys, please excuse me." The nurse picked up her things and exited the hospital wing, presumably to get some breakfast like the rest of Hogwarts.

"Okay guys, story time." Remus crossed his arms and waited for the worst.

"Our perfect little Head Girl was doing some wandering last night and decided to throw around some curses in defence. That, dear Remus," Sirius tilted his head towards James' arm, "was supposed to be on you."

"Wait, what? Who? Not Evans." Remus almost laughed at how stupid it sounded. He looked at James for some reassurance but he only looked gravely at Sirius.

"Yes, _Evans_. Then James transformed back and sent his Patronus to save her." Sirius was mad, he had thought about this all night and now it was finally time to let it out. "Moony, it's lucky you're distracted by shiny things, otherwise last night could have ended very differently."

"Are you about done?" James finally spoke in a low and dangerous tone.

"Not even close, what did you say to her?" Sirius challenged, he guessed James had done nothing. "After you so gallantly saved her life for the second time, that is."

"Believe me, she didn't get off lightly." James didn't break eye contact with Sirius.

"James," Remus grew concerned, "you didn't hurt her?"

"No, but I don't regret anything I said." Sirius seemed pleased with this. "But it doesn't matter anymore, it's over. Now, if you don't mind I have to go."

* * *

><p>Lily walked out into the common area of the head rooms after taking a shower. Somehow she had fallen asleep last night without having a one and had woken up this morning feeling disgusting. She noticed her cardigan draped over the couch and her nose scrunched up at the sight. Lily picked it up and dropped it into a bin next to the fire place. No amount of magic would get that clean. She looked into the mirror before the door and fixed up her high ponytail. Far too tired to do anything more complicated than that she collected her books and set out for Transfiguration. Lily was undeniably nervous. All the Marauders took that class and she wasn't prepared to face them. She had been lucky enough to miss James that morning but soon her luck would, inevitably, run out. In addition to the Marauder's there was also Severus. She was furious with him but had nothing to say to the dissapearing Slytherin. If they just ignored each other that would be fine with her, for now. After a nerve-wracking walk Lily entered the classroom and successfully avoided looking towards the back where the Marauders usually sat.<p>

"Hey." Evelyn greeted her friend as she sat down.

"Morning." Lily said distracted.

"Is everything okay? You look like crap."

"Thanks, Ev'" Lily smiled, "I just didn't sleep very well."

"But you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lily began to pull out her books when someone stood in front of her desk. She looked up and apparently not all the Marauders were up the back yet. "Sirius, can I help you?" Lily pretended to not be fazed by him as he placed his hands down on the desk getting very close to her so only she could hear what he was about to say.

His grey eyes narrowed and Lily saw the Black in him, "You better be thankful for what James did last night, Evans. He just might not be there next time you decide to get into such situations."

"Padfoot!" James called from the back and Sirius looked up. Lily shut her eyes and hoped that when she opened them again he would be gone and he was.

"Something else happened last night didn't it?" Evelyn stared at her friend in disbelief. What had she done that made Sirius go like that?

Lily didn't answer. She was shaken by Sirius' words as she thought about what would have happened if James wasn't there last night. Before she fell asleep she had developed an obsession. The stag, the Patronus, it was all James she was sure but she wanted him to admit to it. She needed him to admit to it. Before long McGonagall began talking to the class and students obediently started taking notes.

"You didn't have to do that." James kept his eyes on the professor as he spoke to Sirius.

"She needs to know."

"She does know and she doesn't need you to remind her. Besides, Lily didn't go out by herself last night."

"Snivellus?" Sirius guessed and James nodded.

"It was a set up. He brought her to someone else, another Slytherin presumably, who then asked her to join Voldemort like her family."

"She said no, I suppose."

"Boys! Write this down, please." McGonagall called to the back of the room. Sirius and James charmed their quills to write down McGonagall's words.

"She did." James said in a lower voice.

"Brave."

"Or stubborn, what's her plan? She has nothing on our side."

"She has you." James looked at Sirius for the first time since they started talking and met his eye. He said nothing as he picked up his quill and began to write himself. Sirius did the same with a glance at Lily who was writing intently down the front.

Peter pretended to listen as Professor McGonagall raved on about something he couldn't understand. He dared to sit in his usual seat but none of his friends had even taken a look at him. He was confused, he didn't mean to say what he did about James' blood status but at the same time he felt it was appropriate. Peter had spent some of the summer with the wrong crowd and had been influenced. The Dark Lord seemed to be the person to follow, he appeared to have all the right ideas and these people Peter had met gave him more interest than James, Remus and Sirius had ever done. Why didn't they see it the same way he did? After everything he had heard over the last months James looked stubborn and Sirius foolish for following him. He glanced over at them, they were so smart and all good looking. The girls loved them, no one had shown anything towards him, little Peter. Lily Evans raised her hand to answer a question, drawing Peter's attention to her. Should he have warned her about last night? Warned her that Snape would lead her into the forest to meet Avery? Snape insisted that Evans would be okay. Peter then wondered if Snape had worked it all out knowing that James would be out there that night. It was all possible. The lesson finished and he took his time packing up. The others had left and Peter met up with Snape outside the room.

"Potter deems himself useful again." Severus sneered. Peter didn't say anything. "He must have been furious when he found her out there." The corners of Snape's thin lips began to curl into a smile, "This will surely set back any possibilities of a relationship between them." Satisfaction was clear in his voice.

"But they couldn't have a relationship in the first place." Peter was sure of this. He had heard it from James plenty of times. He watched as his friends walked ahead of him with their bags swung over their shoulders looking effortlessly cool. James flicked his head around and Peter knew he had spotted him with Snape.

"Since when did rules of any kind stop Potter?" Snapes eyes narrowed.

"It's stopped him for the last few years." Peter shrugged, growing nervous now that James had spotted them.

"But now it would be serious. They were just young fools before. Now they have the Heads Dormitory and are constantly around each other in private. Knowing how Lily is and how determined Potter can be… anything could happen." Peter gathered that this was the driving force behind all Snape's actions. Remus was the next Marauder to turn around and catch a glimpse of Peter and Snape. The tall Gryffindor's brow furrowed before he turned back.

"Well, you better go catch up, Pettigrew. Oh, how could I forget?" Snape dug through his bag, "You better return this to its unworthy owner." He handed Peter the Invisibility Cloak and turned a corner leaving Peter behind. He, Peter, shoved the cloak into his own bag. He felt guilty for knowing information and not sharing it with the Marauders but it was exciting all the same. Suddenly they didn't know everything and he knew things that they didn't.

* * *

><p>"Come in, Potter." James walked confidently into McGonagall's office.<p>

"Minnie." She rolled her eyes at him, "Are you not sick and tired of losing to the other Houses in Quidditch? Don't they give you a hard time in the staff room? Don't you want bragging rights for once!" James started his petition.

McGonagall stared at him incredulously throughout his accusations then softened her features. "I have thought about it." She wavered.

"You know you want to."

"Hold trials and I will attend. If the boy is as good as you say then he can be on the team. If I don't agree with your theories then he will have to wait until next year."

"Okay, next week on Tuesday morning. You won't be let down Min's and I find it very heart-warming that you are finally attending a House event."

"Leave now, Potter." She pointed to the door and James obeyed. Although Professor McGonagall would never admit to it in that moment she became rather excited for the trials and what could potentially be a fantastic year of Quidditch.

James walked into the Great Hall where most of the students had already congregated for lunch. They all talked loudly over the endless amount of food laid out on the long wooden tables. He scanned the Gryffindor table for a certain first year and quickly found him, or actually heard him. Watkins was chatting animatedly in a Scottish accent to another first year boy. James casually sat next to Watkins, who was facing the other way, and waited for him to finish talking about what seemed to be Hagrid.

"Er Fabius…" The other boy nodded in James' direction. Fabius turned around and appeared as if he were going to die.

"James Potter! I…" His eyes were huge and his mouth was left open.

"Watkins, do you by any chance play Quidditch?" James started off the conversation lightly and Fabius watched in disbelief as James began making a sandwich. James Potter was _sitting_ next to him! "Well, do you?"

"I, er, yes I love it. I've heard you're a great player." James couldn't help smiling at this boy.

"That's what they say. So, what position do you play?" James asked picking out some ham.

"Normally Seeker but when it's just my brothers and I, I have to go Keeper."

"Why's that?" James furrowed his brow realising that this was a crap place to sit for sandwich making. Where were the arrays of salads and spreads that he usually had to pick from?

"Oh, well, there aren't enough of us." Fabius was slowly calming down and colour was reappearing in his young face.

"I see, but ultimately Seeker is your favourite position, right?"

"Definitely!"

"So you'll be at tryouts next Tuesday then?" James finished up his sandwich making, still disappointed with the choices.

"But I can't be on the team, I'm a first year!" Fabius stared as if James had suggested something completely illegal.

"And I'm James Potter, as you said, and when I say that you should come to tryouts, you _should _come to tryouts." James said with all seriousness then put on his happy face as quick as lightning, "See you then, Watkins! And seriously, this is not a great place to sit for good food." He looked at the table disgusted and left with his sandwich leaving behind a bewildered Fabius Watkins.

Mary was known to be the mama bear of the three girls. She kept them in line and they turned to her for advice. Mary had been there when Evelyn discovered that her boyfriend was cheating on her. She was also there when Severus had broken Lily's heart and when it was clear he was well and truly into the Dark Arts. But today Mary just picked some grapes out of the wooden bowl on the Gryffindor table and considered her best friend across the table. Lily had just run through her story of last night to her and Evelyn. Mary already knew Remus was a werewolf so that wasn't a surprise but the Death Eater part was. She thought about it and the future did not look too good for her friend. Mary looked across at the redhead and smiled sadly. Lily's life had once been perfect, everyone was envious but now Mary couldn't even think of one girl that would be jealous of Lily. Okay, maybe of her looks but nothing more. But when Mary really thought about Lily's story she seemed to glaze past the worst part. Her mind sat firmly on the ending, on the James Potter story. Mary had that woman's intuition about her, perhaps that's why people asked her for advice, but all she could see was Lily developing something more sincere for Potter. That was all she got from Lily right now and it made her, to a certain extent, angry. Lily ran Potter, and Snape, around and around for years before turning her back on both of them. So now instead of feeling sorry for Lily she felt sorry for the boy further down the table.

"Mary?" She slipped out of her daydream.

"Sorry, what?"

"What do you think?" Lily asked.

"I think… I think you'll be right but really Lil's," What was she to say? She knew Lily didn't go into the forest herself and Potter had not been the main point of the story so she couldn't bring him up, "just be careful alright and don't do patrol alone again." She smiled and grabbed some more grapes.

Lily sighed and glanced down the table towards the infamous Marauders. Peter looked severely uncomfortable and Remus talked seriously to James who, once again, had a sandwich and looked remarkably happy about something. She also noticed that Sirius was missing making it the perfect opportunity but now wasn't the time. She'd have to talk to James later.

* * *

><p>"Georgia!" Remus spotted her dark hair pulled half up with a grey ribbon. She turned to see him.<p>

"Remus, are you feeling better?"

"Yeah I am, what about you?" Remus caught up to her and adjusted his book bag over his shoulder.

"I'm fine just heading towards Defence. Finally my last lesson for the day" Georgia sighed.

"Same." Remus noted sadness in the Ravenclaw's voice, "How's your friend?"

Georgia tensed, "She's okay, I guess." Remus still didn't believe it but he felt that he wasn't close enough to Georgia to tell her that. "She's scared, I think."

"So she is…"

"She hasn't done anything about it." Remus wondered if Georgia knew that he knew that they were talking about her.

"Do you know what I think?"

"What?" He could see the fear in her eyes. She wasn't very good at hiding things.

"I think your friend should just do it. Then she can act on it."

Georgia thought for a moment. "You think so?"

"I do, don't you agree?"

She was silent for a moment, "I suppose but look at you, you're a Marauder! You guy's never get stressed, everything is a breeze. You have no fear."

Remus laughed quietly and bowed his head causing strands of mousy blonde hair to fall into his eyes, "I'll tell you a secret." He stopped walking and held Georgia's arm to stop as well. She looked at him with wide eyes, "Even the Marauder's get scared sometimes." Her eyebrows rose towards her hairline with disbelief. "They do, trust me James, Sirius, Peter, and I myself especially, get scared."

Georgia tried to imagine James, Sirius or Remus scared. She could imagine Peter but not the other three. They always walked with confidence and performed all sorts of magic with self-assurance. Scared was not a word you thought of when you imagined the boys. The news, preposterous as it was, actually brought some strength to Georgia. She looked down at Remus' hand that was still gently holding her arm. He then let go.

"I can't imagine you scared."

"I do get scared. I have friends that are so involved with this upcoming war that it frightens me that they may not see the end."

"Okay, what about James?" Georgia went for who she guessed was the bravest of them all. Remus laughed and started walking again.

"Prongs… He worries. Believe me when I say that James worries excessively for everyone he cares about."

"And Sirius?"

"Sirius…" Saying what Sirius was scared of didn't feel right. That one was a bit private and Remus couldn't think of a way to say it lightly like he had with James and himself. "He has his things."

Georgia respected the privacy, knowing that she had already crossed several lines. "I'll just have to tell my friend then." Remus noted that Georgia always kind of looked sad. She smiled occasionally like on greetings but other than that she always looked worried or sad. He put it down to what she was going through and hoped that she would take what he had just said and take the medication. They reached the classroom and said goodbye as they sat next to their friends. Georgia stayed in his mind long after their encounter.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Love."<p>

"Hey." Mary swung into her boyfriend's arms and leant against him as he backed against the wall. She smiled and kissed him passionately only to be interrupted by giggles. Mary looked over her shoulder to see some second year girls walking past. She rolled her eyes and opened the classroom door to Ben's left and they swiftly moved in.

"Good thinking." Now Ben placed Mary on a desk and his hands on her porcelain thighs. "Why didn't you want to sit with me in Defence, aren't I cool enough anymore?"

"Mmhmm." Mary smiled again into a kiss and wrapped her hands around his neck. Smelling his cologne was like being home. His scent made her feel safe and warm and she would stay this close to him all day if she could. "Lily needed me."

"How are you anyway?" He whispered as he moved up to her high cheek bones with his kisses.

"Good. Just Lily..."

"Evans?" Ben mumbled as his hands moved up and down Mary's thighs.

"Yeah… family stuff." Mary shrugged throwing her head back so Ben could kiss her neck.

"Hmm." Ben just nodded, he too had nobility but his family was nothing like Lily's. They were more like the Potter's. Ben had been great friends with James since they were forced into piano lessons since age five. He wasn't in the Marauder gang but still shared a room with them as a fellow Gryffindor. Mary knew that James had a lot of respect for Ben and vice versa, especially when it came to Quidditch, where Ben was a chaser. When Mary didn't say anything else he stopped kissing her and looked into her icy blue eyes then down to her soft plump pink lips, he loved her, he really did.

"What's wrong?" She was irresistibly cute when she was confused or thoughtful. Actually, Ben just didn't love Mary, he was mad about her. He would spend every moment with her if he could. Nothing made him more proud than when he'd finish a game of Quidditch and she'd meet him down in the change rooms with pink cheeks from the cold and the biggest smile on her face. That's how he knew he had played well. He loved how he could place his chin perfectly on top of her head and how she would snuggle into his chest. How his arms could wrap all the way around her and he felt that he could protect her from anything. He just loved _them_. Pure-blood wizards that had nobility would use that nobility for all sorts of things. To make a difference, to be rich, to be powerful and so on but not Ben Wood, he planned to use his nobility to keep Mary safe and that was all.

"Nothing is wrong, Darling." He smiled at her. "Don't worry about Lily she will be okay." Mary's expression was thoughtful.

"I think… Oh God, I've gone mad." Mary buried her face in her palms.

Ben pulled her hands away smiling, "What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just seeing things." Ben's look was sceptical, he was about to say something when Mary spoke again, "When does Quidditch start?" Her voice was high and false but Ben left it.

"Not sure, trials are next Tuesday though." Ben stared off into space for a while and Mary stared at him waiting for him to come back to earth. She took the chance, for the millionth time, to admire her handsome boyfriend as he stood between her legs. He was still slightly tanned from summer and his hair was a little blonder than usual. He had it cut shorter now but for the first years of their relationship it used to sweep into his eyes. Mary didn't mind it short though because now she could focus on his deep brown eyes which were protected by his thick black lashes. Mary needed an excessive amount of mascara to get her eyelashes as dark and thick as Ben's. And his strong jawline, well, that just made Mary melt. He still hadn't come back to earth yet so she placed her dainty hands under his untucked shirt and felt his toned chest. This caught his attention and he smiled down at her. "What are you doing?"

Mary shrugged and flicked her hair back flirtatiously, "Do you have a free?"

"I could make it one."

"Perfect." She found his lips again.

* * *

><p>The time came around quick enough for Lily. She had finished her last class and retreated back to the Head Dormitory. James was lying on the couch reading the Transfiguration textbook. Lily then noticed it was the first time that she had seen him do schoolwork outside of class. Without saying a word she walked past him and into her room to discard her book bag which was beginning to weigh her down. Looking in the wall mirror she pulled her hair out of the ponytail and let it fall down her back. She smiled proudly at it for looking good after a rough day. After a deep breath she kicked off her shoes and walked back out to James and took a seat in the armchair at his feet. His sole acknowledgment to her was a single glance as she walked by. He knew that there was no way possible of finishing the day without this.<p>

"Hey." She breathed. She noticed a bulk on his arm under his sweater and thought to ask how it was but quickly decided to leave it. That wasn't the direction she wanted to take right now.

"Hey." He turned a page in his book.

"Did you find what you were looking for last night?"

"No." He said no more but Lily could hear the frustration in his one word answer.

"Listen, I think we should talk for a bit." She'd have to get straight to point on this one. There was no way that she would be able to eat dinner in a few hours with the nerves she had running through her.

"Do you? About what?" He turned another page.

"Well, I was wondering about Patronus'." Lily acted innocent and James wasn't surprised at her topic choice.

"And?" He still hadn't dropped the book so Lily couldn't see his face.

"You can conjure one, can't you?"

"Possibly."

"It's a stag isn't it?"

"Why does it matter?" James said indifferently.

Lily grew impatient, "So you can conjure one."

"I didn't say that." James didn't care that he was mocking Lily. He still wasn't over last night. He could sense Lily getting frustrated so he placed the book on his chest and finally looked at her. "It's not worth looking for trouble just to see a Patronus, Lily."

She stared at him annoyed that he had read her mind. She knew it would work though, faking a situation where James would have to conjure the stag.

"Why don't you just tell me what your Patronus is?"

"Why don't _you_ tell _me_? It appears you're already convinced that it's a stag."

"Now you are being a git! It is a stag isn't it?" Lily was on the edge of her seat, "It's a stag and you've been able to do them since fourth year!" James stared at her blankly. "And you saved me in fourth year on New Year's when the Dementors were at Severus' house and again last night. Sirius basically said it today!"

"Do you feel better?"

"Tell me I'm right."

James smirked, "Gold star for you, Evans."

Silence filled the room and Lily stared at her knee high socks. "I'm sorry." Her voice was quieter than before. She didn't know how she felt now. It was kind of like an anticlimax, now she knew. She also came to terms with the fact that she never was thankful to Potter in anyway before, somehow, she felt in debt. "You should have just let me go." Lily exhaled a small laugh, "That's what you were raised to do, right, hate my family? I know I'd be disowned if I saved a Potter." James gave a small smile. Lily moved her eyes to stare at the coffee table, "You know, I know nothing about your family, Gryffindor and Peverell line right?"

"Correct." James didn't make it sound like anything but Lily knew he was proud, she would be too.

"Do you know what they say about Potter's and Evans'?" She asked looking back at him.

James sighed loudly and moved his book from his chest to the small coffee table sitting up slowly. "I do. A lot of people have made a point of telling me."

"Right, of course." Lily braced herself for what she was about to say, "But I think we should be friends. I mean, you saved my life twice." She felt that perhaps a good year as Head Boy and Girl would be a start in repaying James.

"Aww, Lily Evans wants to be my friend." James mocked a sympathetic face but struggled to hold back his smile.

"Don't make me regret it."

"You won't, I'm the coolest kid in the castle." He pushed himself up off the couch, picked up his book and walked towards his bedroom but paused as he reached the door, "Sorry about Sirius today by the way. You don't have to worry about him."

"I was never worried." Lily shrugged it off.

"You were." James smiled and left her alone. His smile was contagious and it had been too long since Lily had seen it. The way James looked when he smiled made her do the same. Maybe she could settle this small fascination about Potter with a simple friendship. She rested her chin on her hand and suddenly Lily saw herself beginning to forget about reality and starting to turn down what could be a dangerous path.

Friends… _friends_, he'd never been friends with her before. He shut the door and leant back against it as he pulled off his already loose tie and hung it on the doorknob. Throwing the book on the floor James moved to sit on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. He wasn't sure if he could do friends. Friends would be getting close which was fine but keeping it platonic, maybe not so fine. Actually, no, he gave in too easily with her just then. This sort of transition should not have happened so fast or so carefree. This change of heart didn't change who they were and it didn't change the happenings of the night before. He'd made a mistake and within minutes James was standing back out in the common room.

"Why? After everything that we've been through, every argument and every ounce of hate that we have made for each other… Why would you want to be friends?" Lily stared at him with her mouth slightly open. She did not expect this. "Also, last night you said you could never trust me and I don't know if I could even trust you after those events. So why should I trust you at all?"

"You know I am sorry about last night but I feel that if we're friends we might not fight and then we'll have a better year together. I also think that a good year is a start in repaying you for all the things you've done."

"Oh, so you only want to be friends so you can feel good about yourself?"

Lily was taken aback, "No!"

He walked back to the couch now and sat on the end near her armchair and looked at her in a way that Lily couldn't understand. "You don't have to repay me for anything." There was a silence between them for a brief moment. Lily was trying to think up something decent to say and James waited for it. She was too slow though, "I'm going to dinner."

"Potter doesn't want to be friends." Lily smirked at Mary as she sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner.

"What do you mean?" Mary looked at Lily quizzically as she put down her knife and fork and glanced quickly down the table at James.

"He doesn't want to be friends. I suggested that we be civil and friendly to make this year a good one and he seemed okay with it but then a few minutes later decided no, it's not okay."

"Surely there is something else to the story." Evelyn said.

"He thinks I only want to be friends to make myself feel better, to repay him." Lily placed her head in her hands, still not having put any food on her plate.

Mary smiled to herself, "Why are you worried? You didn't care to be friends with Potter in the first place so this shouldn't be much of a problem."

"I'm not worried. I'm just annoyed at his change of heart."

"Lily, why don't you suggest being friends because you _want_ to be friends not because you feel you have to be." Evelyn advised, knowing full well that Lily wasn't annoyed but more disappointed.

"He won't care, Potter is stubborn like that. Once he thinks he understands something no one can change his mind." Lily started putting pasta on her plate.

"Again with the 'you only see what you want to see' thing." Mary rolled her eyes.

"Just try it." Evelyn urged.

"James!" Peter smiled at the tall boy as he sat down. James looked at Peter not sure of what to think. Was he about to apologise? "I found this." Peter leaned back to get his bag and pulled out the cloak and held it over the table. Remus, who sat next to Peter, grabbed it and put it in his bag noticing James didn't have one.

"Don't hold that out over the table!" Remus tried not to get angry but his patience with Peter was diminishing. James just stared at Peter unable to understand why he would pull the cloak out in front of everybody.

"Where did you find it?" Sirius' voice was sceptical, daring Peter to answer.

"In the dorm."

"Where in the dorm?" Sirius pushed on.

"Don't worry about it." James interrupted before Peter could speak. He knew he was lying. James knew that he had the cloak last and had kept it in the Head Dormitory. How Peter ended up with it was beyond him but right now he didn't care. "We've found it and that's all that matters." The group nodded whether they agreed or not and went back to their food. James piled up his plate but then just sat still, staring unseeingly at the table.

"You would not believe, Evans." He spoke again minutes later.

"What now?" Peter asked, putting too much on his fork for one mouth full.

"She wants to be friends." Sirius and Remus perked up, showing interest in the conversation.

"Friends?" Remus raised an eyebrow, "After last night, she wants to be friends?"

"What does she get out of it? Surely after all this time there must have been something of a change for her to want to be friends with a 'bullying toerag'."

James smirked at Sirius, "She gets peace of mind. It's her way of repaying me for all the things I've done."

"But after seven years of hating, doesn't it seem a little late?" Peter swallowed his incredible mouthful.

"We have not hated each other for seven years."

"Hmm you're right, it's more like seven hundred years." Sirius mused.

"You are so funny tonight, Padfoot." James glared.

"Alright, alright." Remus held court, "Sirius, cut the cheek and James did you ever think that she actually wants to be friends with you and is just using this repaying business as an excuse?"

"No."

"Maybe you should." Said Remus.

"Or maybe I can just carry on my days in total ignorance of her." James suggested.

"Okay, we all know that's impossible." Peter chimed in again. Sirius sent Peter a warning glance, he was still not forgiven for that mornings spill.

"No, it's not. It's what I am supposed to do so I may as well do it. Besides, a friendship with Evans would just end badly."

Sirius watched his mate knowing exactly what he meant. James wouldn't be able to handle a friendship with Lily. Being close would be self-imposed torture. It would be like putting food in front of a dog then taking it away or eating it yourself. He would be seeing and almost living a life he could never have and in the end it would just be ripped out from underneath him. But then again if he were able to keep it strictly on a _friend_ level then maybe it would be good for James.

"I think," Sirius started and James expected another smart comment, "you should really think about it."

"As in…"

"As in take a chance. It could be worthwhile having Evans as a friend and it would make for a better year."

James lowered his voice, "But what if…"

"So what? Prongs, this is the only time anything like that could happen. Once you're out of Hogwarts it's over. Any chance will be lost forever."

"But nothing can be carried on out of Hogwarts." Remus added.

"I don't want to go down that path."

"Just be friends then." Sirius shrugged. "Forget about last night, as you said it wasn't entirely her fault." It seemed like a great deal for Sirius to say this but it was the truth. Remus nodded in encouragement and Peter watched on curious.

Hours after James laid back on his bed thinking about dinner and the thing Sirius had said earlier that day, 'she has you'. How did she have him? He heard Lily enter the common room and walk into her own room. He sighed and made his way to her room as well and without invitation sat on her chair and waited for her to finish in the bathroom.

"James!" Lily's heart jumped at the sight of him sitting in her room. She made her way to her unmade bed and sat facing James. "Can I help you?"

"Why did you say no to them?" He was genuinely interested.

"Because I don't believe in what they do." Lily spoke seriously. She knew this was not a subject James would dance around he was as serious as one could be when it came to the families.

"Dark Magic?"

"Yes and killing people for petty if no reason at all." It was hard but she looked him straight in the eyes. She wanted him to know that she was serious. Maybe they could never be friends until this conversation was had.

"But your whole family and everything is on that side."

"Yes but that doesn't make a difference. They all have a passion for what they are doing and you can't do those things, Unforgivable Curses for example, without passion."

They were treading in such foreign territory and on the thinnest ice. James was careful with what he asked and Lily was careful with her answers. One wrong move could ruin everything.

"What do you plan on doing then?"

Lily was silent, she honestly had no answer. She had a wish, a dream but no plan. "I don't know." Her voice wasn't as strong as it had been for her other answers.

"What do you have on the other side?"

"Your side?"

James shrugged, "Dumbledore's side is perhaps a better title. What do you have? _Who_ do you have?" _You have me_. James wanted to say it but it wasn't the time. There probably would never be a time.

Lily dropped her head, "Nothing." This was her problem, she had nothing on James' side of the war. All her family was on Voldemort's side and she couldn't handle that for much longer.

"So you are just going to do nothing?"

"It seems to be working for now. I guess I'll eventually become one of them…"

James couldn't bear the thought of Lily as a Death Eater. "We have about eight months left." She raised her head to face him, "Then we have to go separate ways and I don't know what will happen after that. But for the time we have, we should at least use it. I think you were right before, we should be friends." He stood up and walked to stand in front of her. James noticed tears in Lily's eyes, "What's wrong?"

Lily sniffed then smiled, wiping her eyes. "Nothing, I think that's a good idea, Potter. I should get to bed now though."

"Okay, good night then." James left her alone without any more questions. He knew that he had dug up things that Lily would have kept buried deep within her and now they were out again playing in her mind.

As soon as he shut her door Lily buried her head in her pillow and groaned. After a while her face grew hot and she rolled over.

"_James._" She groaned again dragging her hands down her face. He had effortlessly reached the darkest part of her. He had constructively pulled it apart with such finesse and now left her as a mess. Atop of that he had done it all so genuinely, as if he cared and nobody cared that Lily's fate was to be something she hated. Except maybe now Potter cared. She thought whether he had planned everything he would say just then or whether that was just him. What was she to think? What was she to do?

* * *

><p>"So it is settled." Lord Evans clapped his hands together. The fire was dying and the night would soon be over.<p>

"I believe so." Lord Snape nodded. "Lily will be so much safer now and don't worry, she'll come around."

"I trust she will." Lord Snape smiled at the statement. Evans picked up the agreement paper and gave it the once over, these days one had to secure themselves and if that was done through their children, then so be it. The men shook hands and Lord Snape apparated leaving Evans behind. He walked slowly out of the reading room and shut the door with the agreement in hand. He knew he had done the right thing and one day his daughter would see that.

* * *

><p>Ah! I can't wait to get the ball really rolling with this. Love to you all and thanks for reading again!<p> 


	4. The Unlikely Alliance

Hello Reader's! I hope you all had a fabulous Easter and time off. If you don't do Easter then I hope you've had a great week anyway. Thank you immensly to: Louise (I wish you had an account so I could reply to your brilliant reviews!), hazellily, keodom25, growinghope, Music (I updated for your interest ;) ), black16lily, kates212, snoet and 'no account' for reviewing. I always read and reread them for encouragment and new ideas!

In celebration of the new Harry Potter trailer (how exciting is it!) I got myself together to finish and upload this chapter. Admittedly, I'm not so sure about it. I see this one as more of a connection chapter from the beginning of the story to where things start happening. For the first part (the Quidditch section) you may want to listen to _Dark Moon, High Tide _from the movie Gangs of New York. That's just what I wrote it to and I feel it fits very well but if you don't want to that's cool. So with that, I hope you like it!

p.s. I am not trying to go all Rebecca Black on you with the days of the week in the first paragraph. This was written before that fateful Friday.

* * *

><p><em>"True friends stab you in the front." Oscar Wilde<em>

It was a Tuesday. Tuesdays at Hogwarts were normally dull and uneventful. Tuesday was the day after Monday, the worst day of the week, and the day before Wednesday, hump day, possibly the second worst day of the week. This particular Tuesday, however, saw excitement weave through the air like a breeze. You couldn't see it but boy, you could feel it. Second year boys puffed out their chests in false bravery after being dared by friends the night before to '_'ave a go'_. The girls huddled around and whispered bets on who would get in, a few girls were hopeful to make it themselves, most were just excited to watch the boys. Professor McGonagall picked up her Gryffindor scarf out of an old dusty drawer and thought about it. Quidditch Captains and teams were curious and anxious, who would he put on his team? A little Fabius Watkins sat for breakfast at a new spot on the Gryffindor table and was more nervous than he had ever felt in his life. James Potter awoke with a smile on his face. Today was the beginning. Yes, Hogwarts will have never seen a year of Quidditch like this before or ever again. James teamed up with Sirius in the main corridoron the first floor where a cool draft whipped around their bodies and entered the Great Hall which was filled with the morning sunlight. The anticipation on people's faces gave James even more excitement. Finally, after five years of playing, he was Captain. He spotted Watkins and winked, that boy would go to bed tonight as the new Gryffindor Seeker and James was going to do everything he could to see to it.

"I don't understand how tryouts can be made into such a big thing." Remus shook his head in disbelief as James and Sirius took up their regular seats. "No one cared when Ravenclaw held theirs last week."

"Because they're Ravenclaw. _We _are Gryffindor and everybody love's Gryffindor. There's this magic, this _thing _about Gryffindor that they all wish they had. Spirit!" James suggested and Remus was happy enough with the answer, reflecting back on how ecstatic he was when sorted into Gryffindor. "And everybody knows that this is our year."

"More like everybody knows you hold the school in the palm of your hand and finally you're Quidditch Captain so this year will be bigger than ever." Sirius said simply and began packing pancakes onto his plate. "Where's the maple?"

Remus rolled his eyes and passed the maple syrup to Sirius. "Well, if this is how it is for tryouts I'm frightened for the actual games."

"Don't be, it'll be phenomenal, Moony." James insisted and stole the maple syrup off Sirius. Pancakes were the lucky breakfast of the two Quidditch players.

"Phenomenal?"

"Phenomenal!" James beamed. No more was said as the boys stuffed themselves and revelled in the excitement of the day.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"I love you."

"Love you too." Ben kissed Mary's forehead.

"I'll be watching with all the crazy fan girls." Mary assured him.

"I don't think you'll be there for too long." Ben found Mary's hand and walked onto the Hogwarts grounds towards the Quidditch pitch. The grass was still wet from the heavy rainfall the night before but the sun shined proving it would turn out to be a great day. The mountains were clear on the horizon with even the first snowfalls on the peaks visible. Perfect Quidditch conditions.

"Why not? I always watch tryouts."

"Yeah but now Potter is Captain. Also, it is a Tuesday." Ben had a sneaky smile growing on his face.

"So what if it's a Tuesday?"

"Well, most of the school has classes this morning so James got special permission for the serious students that are trialling and the pre-existing team to skip class. There's also going to be a special guest who will make sure all the other kids are in class. Trust me."

"But I don't even have class until this afternoon."

"She'll send you to study then."

"She?"

"McGonagall."

"No, oh James ruins everything!" Mary threw her head back in annoyance and stamped her foot but Ben laughed. "I'm still coming and I'll sit there until that woman forces me back." She adopted a determined face and marched on forward practically dragging her boyfriend towards the pitch.

McGonagall threw her scarf on the dresser and opted for a simple red pashmina. What had she been thinking anyway? This wasn't even a game. It was simply Potter's way of bending the first year rule. She could hear that majority of the students were at the pitch already as she walked across the grounds. McGonagall sighed, Potter was clever, she had to admit. At first she didn't understand why he had put tryouts on a Tuesday morning but now it made sense. It was the only way to get as much privacy as possible. Once the professor reached the pitch she made her way up to the commentator's box and scanned the stands. Students from every House and every grade were present and watched a large group of Gryffindors on the pitch. She tapped her wand to her throat.

"Students who are _not_ in Gryffindor and have classes must leave immediately!"

There was a loud moan from the crowd but slowly the numbers deminished.

"Gryffindor students that have a class now you may stay for 30 minutes but you must attend your second class. Or points _will_ be deducted!" Another moan but no one moved. McGonagall walked out of the commentator's box and took a seat in the teacher's stand that she had to magically dry.

James looked above at the stands and was satisfied with McGonagall's work. His plan was unfolding perfectly. He returned his attention to the students wanting to make the team. He knew he wanted Watkins for Seeker but he'd have to play fair. Then he needed a new Keeper as of yesterday.

"Okay, to those of you who are serious and staying, my team and I don't deal with immaturity during practice. We train hard but have fun too and you are here because you are serious about the team, I do not have time to bullshit around." James laid down the law and a few students left, now only the ones James was interested in remained. "Right, we're looking for a Seeker and a Keeper, so if you could all move into those two groups it would be great. We'll do Seekers first." Sirius instructed the Seekers through a basic flying course as James and the rest of the team watched on and discussed who they wanted to stay. They narrowed the group down by half and then James let five Snitches loose.

Fabius looked on as Potter watched the golden Snitches fly away and wondered why he never filled the position of Seeker himself. Tryouts were different to how he imagined them to be. He received no special treatment off Potter, in fact, it was as if they had never talked before. This gave Fabius the will to try his hardest, to impress the seventh year student and show him that he is worth being on this team.

"The first person to catch the Snitch wins the position, simple as that." The hopeful Seekers flew into the air looking for the Snitches. "So while they're off catching Snitches we'll start on the Keepers." James told the existing team.

"I'll do the skills again." Sirius asked while flipping hair out of his face.

"Okay, then Wood, Abercrombie and I will test them." James replied. Sirius ran the Keepers through the same test as before. James watched Watkins and occasionally McGonagall, who was also keeping a close eye on the first year. The team picked three possible Keepers out of ten and sent the rest back to the school. Wood, Abercrombie and James rose up on their brooms with the first contestant, Bill Corner. Corner saved three out five of Abercrombie's goals. The next Keeper, Clare Hooper, sister of Jason Hooper (this was the only way James knew her), successfully dodged the Seekers and saved four out of the five Quaffles James had thrown. Hooper was also a charmer with the crowd and received much encouragement. Tim Quirke began what the two previous Keepers had completed. Sadly for him though, he only saved one of Wood's goals making him an instant pass.

They all landed and James talked everything over with Wood and Abercrombie. Sirius and Johnson, the two beaters, also met up with the team. They had decided on their third Chaser and James felt positive.

"I got it!" A boy shouted as he held up the golden Snitch and the other Seekers cursed themselves. The crowd in the stands cheered, James looked up and couldn't stop grinning.

"Come down, Watkins!" Fabius was so proud of himself, he had caught the Snitch and proven himself worthy.

"Brilliant, welcome to the team!" Sirius greeted the first year as he landed, "James will be happy now." Sirius ruffled the boys already messy hair and led him back to everyone else. Fabius beamed at Sirius' words. James, his idol, actually cared.

"Okay, thank you to everyone who tried-out and congratulations to Clare Hooper and Fabius Watkins on becoming Gryffindors new Keeper and Seeker!" The team and the crowd applauded and the students who missed out left the pitch. James smiled proudly at his team after they had all been introduced, "We have to win this year guys and girls. Practice will be every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with the possible game on Saturday. Every session will begin at four so don't be late." The team departed the pitch for the showers and the crowd in the stands also disappeared. Before long, McGonagall met James and Sirius in the middle of the pitch.

"Well," She sighed, "I guess the rules will have to be broken for this one. You were right Potter, Watkins is an incredible Seeker. So now you have no excuses to lose, understood?"

"Understood." Both boys nodded.

"Very well, have a good day you two." She turned on her heel and tightened her pashmina against the cool breeze that ran down from the mountains. The excitement returned to her as she thought about upcoming games. This year would be the year.

"So, Potter got what he wanted _again_." Sirius smirked at James who threw a Quaffle in his direction, Sirius caught it without concern.

"That I did, Black, that I did."

"Have you seen Peter around lately?" Sirius waved his wand and all the Quidditch balls flew back into their respective boxes.

"No, why?"

"I just saw him with Snape the other day." Sirius said lightly locking the heavy leather boxes.

"Same, after the full moon. I wouldn't think it was anything worth worrying about, would you?" James couldn't really imagine Snape befriending Peter.

"Of course not." Sirius yawned, "Have you written back to your Mum?"

James felt a run of guilt swept through him, "No."

"She won't give you another warning, Prongs. She's just worried."

"She is always worried." James sat on one of the boxes that contained the Quidditch balls.

"Like her son." Sirius said quietly.

"I heard that."

"Good. Do you have Head duties tonight?" Sirius sat on the other box and picked out grass from the end of his broomstick.

"Shouldn't have." James didn't miss Sirius perk up at this.

"We should do something!" Sirius' mood immediately changed at the thought of James being free for a night.

"All for it but it's not even midday and Lily will surely come up with something."

"She's starting to depend on you, you know?" Sirius looked at his friend with concern.

"Yeah right, Evans depending on me?" James almost laughed at the idea, "She can do the work herself."

"Then why doesn't she?" Sirius tested.

The smile was wiped from James' face. "Because…"

"Prongs, it's fine and speaking of Evans." Sirius nodded to the entrance which was behind James. He followed Sirius' gaze and saw a redhead making her way quickly across the field. Both the boys stood up knowing their time was over.

"Try to stay free for tonight." Sirius levitated the boxes and slapped James on the back.

"Yeah, bye."

"Oh–my-God." Lily crouched over resting her hands on her knees.

"Are you okay?" James asked casually. He wasn't particularly concerned for her.

"That _hill _isfreaking… huge!"

"You walk up it every time you go to a Quidditch match."

"Which I haven't done for a long time." She panted then stood back up straight. "Okay," she breathed, "how were tryouts?"

"Phenomenal." James beamed.

"Phenomenal? Alright, well now you have a new task." Lily didn't realise how unfit she had become over summer and wished Sirius had left a box for her to sit on.

"Which is what?" James raised a brow. Lily and James had been civil friends for a week now and things had been going well, if not a little boring in James' perspective.

"McGonagall will be celebrating her fortieth year here in two weeks and Dumbledore has suddenly decided to throw a party." Lily explained. "It'll all be in the Great Hall, so we need to decide on a theme and so on."

"I just gave Min's the best Quidditch team in her forty years here. Is this really necessary?" James would really rather focus on Quidditch or his friends than plan some party. He began to walk off the pitch slowly with Lily by his side. It felt weird, James still hadn't become use to Lily being there regularly. More and more she was next to him and around him, suggesting ideas and evening up the Head student workload.

"Yes, it is. I didn't think that you would turn down the chance to organise a party this big?" Lily knew she could get Potter into it.

"Hmm, I don't have a choice do I?" James ran his hand through his hair. Whatever Sirius had planned for tonight now seemed unlikely to happen.

"Absolutely not."

"Alright, so you said a theme, what do you have in mind?" Hopefully Lily would do all the thinking and he would just have to agree.

"I was thinking masquerade. I've always wondered what a Noble Family party would be like if we all wore masks." James tried not to focus on her long red hair blowing freely in the wind that had picked up or her slightly closed eyes due to the brightness of the sun and most importantly the beauty of her face as she grew excited. He hated being friends.

"That's a little average isn't it?"

"Not if everyone gets into it and they will if you're planning it."

"Just use me, it's okay." James threw a hand in the air in mock offence while the other carried his broomstick.

"Great, so masquerade it is then! Don't worry, it'll be… phenomenal." She said slowly, mocking James.

"That's my word." He scrunched up his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Really, I am so, _so_ sorry, Potter." Lily bluffed, looking sadly up at him pouting.

"Sod off." James pushed her lightly to the side in a playful manner and kept walking. She was cruel, he thought, she flirted with him so openly when she was the one who was all about this 'friends' business in the first place.

"Abuse!" Lily pointed at him.

James lifted the sleeve of his Quidditch robe and held out his arm with a fresh scar on it. "_Abuse._" He smirked.

"I thought you were meant to keep that covered for _two_ weeks?"

"It was itchy." James mumbled

"Awww." She started to walk back towards his side with a giddy smile but he held out the end of his broomstick.

"Ah-ah. You're dangerous, Evans." She tried to get past his broomstick but he kept it pointed at her.

"_I'm_ dangerous? You just pushed me!" She snatched the broom as James' grip slackened. "Ha!"

"I'm so scared." James said indifferently and kept walking on without looking at Lily.

Soon enough she grew sick of carrying the broom but noticed James had both hands in his pockets. "You can have your broom back now."

James laughed, "No way, you wanted it." Lily's heart stopped at the sound. She couldn't remember the last time she heard James laugh like that and it made her stomach flip. Forcing herself off the topic she looked down at the broom. Annoyed, she dropped it on the ground.

"Bloody hell, Evans." James made a show of picking up the broom and for the rest of the way continued to tap Lily's legs with it as she walked. She stayed a few steps ahead of James for the reason that she didn't want him to see the smile that she couldn't contain and couldn't let him see. They said they were friends for the sake of both being Head students but in moments like this Lily couldn't help but imagine that there was now more from James. She knew what she felt, as much as she hated it, but now his actions were beginning to reflect her own feelings. Lily wondered if James had never stopped having these feelings for her. She had completely stopped caring for him from fifth year onwards but what about him?

* * *

><p>The final class for the day was about to begin. The bell had chimed and now tired students dragged their feet to the rooms. Evelyn had History of Magic for her last lesson. She casually sat in her usual spot and waited for the other students to pour in who were rounded up by Professor Binns. He floated into the room and pieces of paper were magically sent out to every desk.<p>

"Class, today you will be paired up for a group assignment." Evelyn inwardly groaned. Like every student she hated group assignments when the partner was chosen for you.

"Your partners name is on the top next to your own. Please find that person, move your desks together and begin. If you have any questions feel free to ask." Binns seemed as if he were about to fall asleep as he finished her words for the day.

"Noah Burke... Which one?" Evelyn turned around and surveyed the boys in the room and one in the back corner waved at her. He didn't look like he planned on moving so Evelyn collected her gear and made her way over. Noah Burke had short brown wavy hair and brown eyes. He was the geek of seventh year and always wore his crease-free sweater with the shirt collar perfectly folded out over the top and his tie neatly knotted around his neck.

"Hi." Evelyn smiled.

"Hey. So, it seems as if we are partnered together." Noah moved his things so Evelyn could make herself comfortable.

"So it seems. Okay so…"

"An essay on the beginning of the Noble Wizarding Families."

"Oh my God." Evelyn dropped her head, "You've got to be joking."

"Erm no, it really says that." Noah pointed to it. Evelyn just stared at him, _Ravenclaws_.

"Yeah, but do you realise how embarrassing this is!" Evelyn stressed.

"How can an assignment be embarrassing?" Noah furrowed his brow.

"My best friend is one of these people, it's like I'm doing an assignment on her."

"Lily Evans?"

"Yes!"

"Oh! Well that's perfect, she'll know everything about it and she can help us." Evelyn's jaw dropped at the boy.

She put her paper down and drew a deep breath, "I am not asking Lily about this topic."

"But it's perfect! Look," Noah leaned over and tapped his fellow Ravenclaw, Georgia Brown, on the shoulder. "Georgie?"

"Yes?" She seemed slightly annoyed to be disrupted and Evelyn smiled apologetically.

"If you were friends with a Noble Family member would you ask them for help on this assignment?"

"I would get them to _write_ the assignment, Noah." She turned back around and Noah looked at Evelyn proudly.

"See."

Evelyn sighed in defeat, "She won't do it but I guess I can ask."

"And since you're in Gryffindor perhaps you could ask Potter, Black and Wood as well?"

"Don't push it." She spoke through gritted teeth.

* * *

><p>It was now the last day of the week and finally the weekend was in sight. The library was practically empty that morning and Remus took up his seat at his usual table. He didn't bother to take his books out at first he just simply stared through the book shelves. Then he noticed the whole time he was staring at a bag which sat alone on a table on the other side of the shelf. It was Peter's bag. Then Remus realised he hadn't seen Peter at all that day. He got up and walked over to the abandoned bag and opened it. Nothing unusual was in there. Frowning, Remus walked around the shelves looking for any sign of the other Marauder. Nothing could have prepared Remus for what he saw next. Peter was talking to none other than Snape and Mulciber. He froze, staring through old sundried books he held his breath as the others talked. He strained his ears to hear what they were saying but couldn't make anything out.<p>

"Again?" A low voice growled behind Remus, he didn't need to turn around to see who it was though so he kept his eyes firmly locked on the three boys.

"I suppose you want to run over and give them a piece of your mind?" Remus assumed of his friend. It seemed like the Sirius thing to do, to act without thinking. James would give the scenario some deep thought and quickly analyse the situation with intricate detail then act all within a couple of minutes. Remus on the other hand would think about the pro's and con's and take much longer to decide how he would act, especially if he had time to decide like now.

"No, he's been with them for at least an hour." Sirius whispered, peeking through the books next to Remus.

"The Map?"

"Always, let's do nothing and just watch. I'm curious." Sirius shrugged. "Let little Peter live a bit." He glanced over at Remus, "What, you don't think he's capable of anything they're after do you?"

Remus exhaled audibly, "Well, someone has to do the dirty work first then the more powerful step in. Not that those two, Snape and Mulciber, could do anything incredibly major."

Sirius considered the words, "Snape, maybe. He did teach Evans that curse she sent James." The corner of Sirius' mouth twitched, the situation was almost funny now they were _friends_. "Who knows what else he can do?"

"But in school? No way, he still has it in for Lily he won't do anything."

"And since when were you so trustworthy, Moony? These are Death Eater's, they will do whatever they can and want. What's stopping them anymore? They get expelled then go straight into Voldemort's hands." Remus didn't reply but thought about Sirius' words. They were only too true. "Where's your stuff?"

"Back there, why?"

"Let's go." Sirius moved the books back together that he had separated and walked away.

Remus turned to face him, "What if they do something?"

Sirius shrugged again, "I don't think so. It'll be right." Remus couldn't understand how Sirius had just told him not to be so trusting but now couldn't care about the situation.

"Fine." Remus sighed heavily and walked back to collect his stuff, making a mental note to check the Marauder's Map more often when Peter wasn't near. He followed Sirius out of the library after getting absolutely no work done. "What if he's acting as a spy?" Remus wondered aloud.

"Peter, a spy? You've had a rather long week haven't you?" Sirius laughed.

"It's possible. There's James, the most influential person of the upcoming generation within the Nobles. He will hold the most power."

"Oh Merlin don't tell him that."

"He has to face it eventually." Remus said in a matter of fact tone.

"Continue."

"Right, so why wouldn't they want Peter as a spy? First-hand information about what James says, does and so on."

Sirius laughed again at the stupidity of the Slytherins, if this really was their plan. "James says _nothing_ and does even less."

"They don't know that." Remus felt that he was really onto something.

"They will when Wormy comes back to them with no information. It is close to impossible to get that boy to talk about all this crap. Especially since his Dad…" Sirius fell silent.

"I know." Remus said quietly. "Let's just keep an eye on the Map and keep it away from James." Sirius nodded. "I'm going to ditch these books before lunch."

"I'll meet you in the Hall." Sirius said and continued through the cloisters thinking about Lord Potter.

"Sirius!" He paused. He would never in his life mistake that voice. He grew up with that voice and whenever he heard it flashes of his childhood ran through his mind. Running around the mansion, playing tricks on the house elves, learning the art of Quidditch, spying on their parents and other Noble friends during meetings.

"Sirius!" He glanced to his left and there was his younger brother walking beside him.

"Reg'" Sirius acknowledged him. "What brilliant and interesting news do you have that you simply _must_ tell me?" He spoke with the greatest sarcasm. All love had been lost between the two. James continuously told Sirius that Regulus still looked up to him but Sirius wouldn't believe it. Regulus was just like their parent's, besides what would James know? He was an only child.

"Nothing just thought we could have chat, are you on your way to lunch?" Regulus no longer struggled to keep up with Sirius' quick pace.

"I was."

"Great, I'll go with you. How are things with you anyway?"

"Phenomenal." Sirius replied blankly, cursing Potter for that word.

"Right, how was Quidditch on Tuesday?"

"Good."

"And what about your friends James, Remus and Peter?" Regulus tried to keep up conversation.

"What do you care? And I'm sure you see Peter more these days than I do." Sirius looked at his younger brother properly for the first time since he arrived.

"Err, well, I don't know about that. He was in the Common Room the other night." Sirius stored the information perhaps things were a bit more serious than first anticipated. "Are you not mates anymore?"

"How does anyone know who their mates are anymore?"

"Well, you've got Potter. You know he'll always be there." Regulus shrugged the same way as Sirius did. In fact the more Sirius observed his sibling the more he noticed that they actually had a lot in common. Their hair, nose, walk and now shrug were all the same. He wasn't sure how he felt about this but continued on.

"How was summer after I left?"

"Mum burnt you off the family tree." Regulus, about five centimetres shorter than Sirius looked up searching for a reaction. Sirius didn't give one.

"Naturally."

"And she hated the Potter's as much as possible before so no difference there."

"And Dad?"

"Good riddance?" Regulus guessed, "He wasn't there much this summer." Sirius nodded, he expected no more. They were approaching the Great Hall and Sirius was surprised that he wouldn't have minded spending more time with his brother.

"Look after yourself, Reg'."

"Yeah, you too." They didn't touch each other, just parted ways to their own separate tables on either side of the hall. It was then that Sirius thought that maybe in the slightest way James was right. Perhaps Regulus did care.

Evelyn made it to class early after lunch. Outside, the heavens had opened and rain hit the halls of the castle with force. It was growing colder and she became incredibly nostalgic for summer. Where the heat enveloped you and yet there was this freedom that came with it. The cold only meant staying indoors wrapped up in a ridiculous amount of clothing. Soon she'd have to be wearing stockings but for now she just had her black knee highs, pleated skirt and Gryffindor V-neck sweater. Slightly preppy, like Noah Burke, she mused as she tightened her messy ponytail. She wondered what was taking Lily so long surly she would have been here already. Students slowly filed in taking up their usual seats and Evelyn began to draw a little cartoon owl with a bowler hat on the back page of her notebook next to a collection of other scribbles. She was getting into the details of the feathers when someone sat next to her and it was most certainly not Lily.

"Hey."

She stared at him and remembered to shut her mouth. "What makes you think you can sit there?" Where the hell was Evans?

"It was free."

"Actually it's Lily's."

"Well she's not here, is she?" Sirius looked around. "Nope, she's not so I guess I can sit here. What's this?"

Evelyn quickly shut her notebook and moved it further away from Black. She smirked at him and crossed her arms waiting until the redhead finally entered and marched straight up to Sirius.

"Black."

"Yes?" He clasp both hands together on the desk and showed no sign of moving. He even already had all his books out.

"You stole my seat." Lily said in a matter of fact tone.

"You stole my best friend." He replied in the same tone. Evelyn now understood why Sirius had sat next to her, to stir up Lily.

Lily relaxed her shoulders and rolled her eyes, "I have not stolen your friend, we're organising a party for McGonagall."

"Not good enough, Evans."

"Okay! Everybody take a seat." Slughorn made his arrival known and began setting himself up at the front of the classroom. "Today will just be theory so get out your textbooks." There was a moan from the class. "Lily? Please sit down, dear." He smiled kindly. Sirius looked innocently up at Lily as Evelyn looked at her desperately.

Lily sent Sirius a look and sat next to Remus in James' regular spot. Evelyn looked quickly around the room for a spare seat. She spotted one right up in the back corner that was usually reserved for the person next to her. Evelyn caught Mary's attention who caught on quickly and nodded eagerly for Evelyn to join her and Ben up the back. She made the quick plan in her head to move but just as she pushed her chair back James rushed in.

"Sorry I'm late." James walked briskly to the back and planted himself firmly in the seat Evelyn had her eyes on. Still facing the back she sent James the death stare of her life and he looked at her with confusion and his brow furrowed once he noticed Sirius next to her. He turned to Mary and Ben who just shrugged then turned their attention back to each other. Evelyn pursed her lips and turned around replacing everything back on her desk.

Lily leaned out so she could see Sirius from behind Remus. "His not your biggest fan at the moment." Remus said quietly while continuing to look ahead at Slughorn.

"I haven't done anything."

"You've stolen James."

"We're planning –"

"A party, I know." Remus finished her sentence and smiled kindly.

Slughorn began to rave on about something that interested none of the students, Gryffindors and Slytherins alike.

"What do you have against Lily?" Evelyn whispered.

"Nothing." Sirius shrugged and began copying down what was on the board.

Evelyn stared at the rain pouring down outside and the drops leaving trails on the windows. Her eyes then travelled to Sirius' notebook. He actually had a neat handwriting, something she didn't expect. He wrote quickly with loops but not in a girly feminine way. She wondered if he usually did what was asked of him in class or whether it was because Slughorn actually had a clear view of him. She felt him nudge her arm.

"Okay?"

"Perfectly fine, I'm sitting next to _you_." Evelyn perfected her sarcasm.

"Your favourite person, right?"

"Right."

"You know, Bell, I hope I didn't put you off the other week."

"When?" She knew what he was talking about.

"When I said that you looked good. I mean, I meant it sure, but not like _that_. So you don't have to be uncomfortable around me."

"I'm not uncomfortable." Sirius raised his eyebrows, "I just… I'm sorry, I'm just slightly against your family right now."

"Ahh yes, Bella." It made sense now. "But you know I'm against my family too."

"Yeah, I suppose. It's just easy to hate everyone with your surname at the moment."

"Understandable," Sirius nodded, "Sorry about that by the way. I'm sure she… meant it."

"I'm sure she did. I was stupid for not seeing it the first place. Of course Leon would be attracted to that sort of power and stature in a woman." Sirius just nodded. He really didn't have anything to say and he really didn't expect this when he had sat here just to piss off Evans. "But –"

"Miss Bell, _please_ be quiet or I'll have to send you out." Slughorn stressed before continuing his lecture. Evelyn obeyed the professor and picked up her quill to start writing. Sirius did the same and soon he realised that this was a very boring place to sit.

James smirked to himslef at the back of the room as Sirius got Bell in trouble. James knew exactly why Sirius would steal Lily's seat. He guessed that he had been spending too much time with Lily and this was Sirius' way of showing it. His attention then moved onto Peter, who was sitting at one of the single tables scribbling down what seemed to be every word Slughorn said. He wondered about Peter these days, he was never around and Sirius or Remus always had the Map so he could never suss it out. Then he thought about how Sirius had brought this matter up after the Quidditch trials. Perhaps he would talk to Peter later. Further along there was Remus and Lily. They were funny when they sat together. James noticed that Lily's hair had become curlier with the rain. He smiled to himself but James was really in no way jealous of Remus' seating position. He had been spending a lot of time with Evans this week and he desperately needed a break from this party planning and being happy friends business. It was basically all she talked about and it bore him to death so it usually turned into a fair go at flirting from his side and suspicious looks from hers. Sometimes she participated though and that was enough. She hadn't been how she was on Tuesday though. He felt a tap on his arm and he turned to find it was Mary who nodded at Ben who leaned over Mary to get closer to James.

"Is Quidditch prac' still on?" James could see the hope in Ben's eyes that it wouldn't be on. He then had a quick glance out of the windows to realise that you could only see about five metres out. He was very nearly about to say yes but then a sudden crack of lightning lit up the dark outdoors.

James faced Ben, "Not anymore." Ben tried not to look too pleased, Mary however did a little clap and dance in her seat, happy that she would have her boyfriend for the afternoon. James smiled at the two, he knew that one day Mary would be accompanying Lily to Noble Family parties as Lady Wood. He couldn't remember a time at Hogwarts where Ben didn't adore Mary. He used to be a great friend until she came along and stole all his time, James thought light-heartedly. Honestly he didn't care though, he loved them as a couple and they were proof that such relationships did exist. They were the Frank and Alice, who had graduated last summer, of their year.

Slughorn dismissed the class an hour later and Evelyn and Lily wasted no time leaving together. Peter, Remus, Ben, Mary and James all gathered around Sirius who was taking his time packing up.

"What was all that about?" Peter asked first seeming more confident than he had in weeks.

"Nothing, I just wanted to sit here." Sirius shoved his textbook into his bag and James watched carefully.

"Next to Evelyn." Mary grinned. Ben pulled his book bag up over his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his girlfriend and whispered in her ear guiding her out of the room.

"Was it that necessary?" Remus adjusted his bag as Ben had done. He swore they were getting heavier every day.

Sirius smirked and stood up making himself the tallest in the group and regaining his stature. James still just quietly watched him, evaluating what he saw.

They walked in line down the corridor all in their own little worlds. "Alright well I'm off this way, Herbology." Peter shuddered at the idea of having to walk down to the greenhouse in this weather.

"Wait up, Pete!" James called and followed Peter down a staircase leaving Sirius slightly disappointed, he had wanted to talk to James. Remus seemed to have picked up on this.

"Don't worry, you'll get to talk to him."

Sirius scoffed, "Bullshit, we haven't seen him out of class for the last three days."

"It's not Lily's fault." Remus knew where it was going and couldn't help but notice Sirius was always quick to blame or fault Lily. Sirius sighed and Remus knew he was correcting himself.

"I know, it's just…"

"Easy to put it all on her?"

"Exactly." Sirius nodded and flicked the extra hair out of his eyes. "I don't mean to. It's just as you said, it's easy."

"I know." Remus too had been slightly annoyed with James' little presence of late but knew it was just because of this anniversary coming up. It was all Lily talked about in Potions and how good it would be with her and James planning it. He wouldn't tell James how much she talked about him. Remus knew that Lily didn't even realise she was doing it.

"Oh, hey Prongs." Peter smiled casually at his friend. He had awhile to go until he would reach the Entrance and clearly James had a free, unless he was making a habit of being late today, so he knew that there'd be the _talk_ he predicted.

"Hey, haven't seen you much lately." James started nonchalantly.

"Yeah, haven't seen you around much either."

"Oh, well I've been planning this anniversary party for Min's. Then there was Quidditch on Tuesday and Wednesday. So, yeah," he smiled, "what's your excuse?" James honestly didn't know and he was unaware that Remus and Sirius knew exactly what Peter was doing. All James had seen was Snape talking to Peter after Transfiguration weeks ago.

"Just school work, you know, hanging out with friends."

"Snape?" James cringed at his own quick assumption. He didn't mean to be so forward.

Peter hesitated, "Ah yeah a bit but with other people too."

"Peter -" James' serious tone clearly had put the other marauder off.

"James, I don't need you to tell me who I can be friends with." James nodded slightly trying not to create tension, "I don't tell you who you can talk to."

"I know I just, you know they're not – " He struggled to find the right words.

"Not good people? Well neither are you and Sirius, really. You guys curse anyone who gets in your road."

"Not so much these days, Wormtail."

"Sirius still gets Snape and you –"

"Yeah okay," James didn't want to hear it, "We're no saints, no one is, but Snape and that... they really have no good intentions."

"James," Peter stopped to face the taller boy, "I don't want to lose you as a friend so I think that we should agree to disagree."

James felt his jaw drop with disbelief, "Okay." He answered slowly, not really sure what he was agreeing to.

"Good, I'm glad. I better get out to class," Peter flicked his wand a few times and walked out into the rain without getting wet and his head held high.

James continued to stand there and when he turned he immediately spotted Sirius at the top of the staircase. In no time all the spare students were shut into their classrooms leaving James and Sirius alone in the Entrance Hall. Sirius walked down the stairs casually but James could read disappointment on his face.

"Thought you would have picked up on that one sooner, Prongs." He made it next to James and looked out into the rain with him.

James silently looked at Sirius who realised that James was not comfortable. A look in his eyes told Sirius that James did not expect what had just happened and was now lost. James, someone who would consider it the greatest dishonour to mistrust his friends, now had a friend who socialised with the so called enemy.

"Remus and I found him talking secretly with Snape and Mulciber this morning and we've been following him on the Map since."

"Why… why didn't you tell me this?" James's voice was weak.

"We decided not to because you already had so much." James made to interrupt but Sirius continued. "So much that you couldn't even come down and spend an hour with us, Prongs. I know you have a lot but we're still here. Maybe we could even help you." James didn't know what to say he had missed the whole losing Peter, what else had happened? Sirius waited for an answer.

"Fuck," James whispered harshly and put both his hands on his head for a moment and stared past Sirius into a corner then ran his hands threw his hair, pushing it back he shut his eyes and sighed. Sirius knew James well, they were brothers, and he knew that this was James' public way of coming undone. If they were close to wall he'd kick it, but they weren't. James looked directly into Sirius grey eyes, "Is a sorry okay or do I owe you and Remus a Firewhisky, too?"

"I think it's obvious."

James rolled his eyes and smiled, "Fine, after dinner tonight we'll have a little get-together."

* * *

><p>She had been standing out front the Heads Dormitory for five minutes now with the assignment paper in hand. This was going to be so embarrasing and she wasn't even sure Lily would want to help. It was an effort to get her to talk about this topic. With a deep breath she opened the portrait with the new password that James had given her and Mary a few days ago.<p>

"Lily!" Evelyn walked in without knocking, as everyone seemed to do these days, and collapsed onto the spare armchair. James laid on the couch with his feet hanging over the edge in odd socks and Lily sat on the armchair at his feet. Both the Head students stared at Evelyn. "Did I interrupt something?" She raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"We were just… Err." Lily looked elsewhere searching for words.

"No, we were just talking about this bloomin' party for the weekend." James said casually.

"Right." Lily nodded, she didn't know why she was acting stupid. James' answer was the truth but in her head she wasn't thinking about the party at all. "What's up?"

Evelyn reached over the coffee table and handed Lily the assignment paper. James and her watched on as Lily scanned the page. "Oh, you poor thing."

"What is it?" James asked.

Lily tried to hold back a smile at Evelyn's unfortunate task but it wasn't working, "Don't laugh, it's bad enough as it is!"

"I repeat, what is it?"

"Evelyn has to do an essay in the history of the Noble Wizarding Families." Lily informed James who just laughed.

"Show me." Lily passed the paper to James and smiled at Evelyn.

"It'll be fine Ev' and look, you have Burke for a partner."

"Yeah, no problems there. He'll do most the work, too." James said as he read through the essay requirements.

"He's asked me to ask you two about it."

"We're not the history though."

"James, come on." Lily tapped his foot and they shared a glance. "We know plenty."

"Sure, do you want to know about how the evil Evans' killed a dozen –"

"_Or_ do you want to know about how the Potter's managed to become one of the wealthiest family's of us all? I assure you it's not a pretty story either." Lily smirked.

"But look where it got me." James outstretched his arms in mockery.

"Okay, how about when the Potter family…" Lily faltered.

James smiled, "Go on." She said nothing. "That's right, as you can see Bell, for Lily to say anything else she would have to mention something nasty from her family first."

Lily smirked again, "I never said my family were good, besides, after that your family did some nasty things as well."

"I don't deny it but we all know how it started and ended."

"When was this again?" Evelyn reminded the two of her presence.

"Hundreds of years ago." James and Lily seemed to be having a stare down as they spoke.

Lily broke it and faced Evelyn, "It's no use to your essay anyway."

The door opened again and Sirius and Remus walked in with the original intention of starting the boys' party earlier than planned.

"Where's Peter?" James asked immediately. Sirius shrugged and James knew what it meant. Sirius made James move over so Remus and he could sit and everyone was comfortable. Remus picked up the paper on the table.

"Yours?" He looked at Evelyn and she nodded. Sirius read the sheet as well.

"Ha! What a question and where to start? How about when the Black family killed all those Muggles and then when they tortured all those Muggle-borns. _Or_ how about when –"

"We get it and the Blacks aren't the centre of it all anyway." Remus said.

"It depends who you ask. Well, if you don't care for the Blacks you could write about these two here." Sirius pointed to James and Lily.

"This is the history. Not the Blacks or one war between two families, Padfoot!" Remus tried to get the essay question through Sirius' head.

"Whatever you say." Sirius held up his hands in defence, "It's just that there are some things that are much more interesting than how it all started."

"It's not interesting." James mumbled. It was downright annoying, if it hadn't happened perhaps things between him and Lily would be different.

Evelyn didn't know what she had gotten herself into. Nobody seemed to really care about the beginning at all. Lily only wanted to take down the Potter's to push James off his high horse but then James had plenty of ammunition against Lily and used it well. Then there was Sirius who just wanted to cut down his own family to the very last strand possible. Noah Burke was not going to like this at all.

"Anyway!" Sirius clapped his hands together, "James, Remus and I think we should get started." Remus nodded eagerly

"Lily!" Mary interupted next. Everyone turned to face her, "Aww, why didn't anybody tell me there was a gathering?"

"There's not." James said.

"Okay well, Lil's, Snape is outside and I know you haven't talked to him since so I told him to leave but he followed me all the way up."

"I'll go." James stood up beating Lily.

"No, that will just cause drama."

"Drama? That's all he wants!" James made his way to the door before Lily could get there. Sirius also went to go but was stopped by Remus.

"James!" Lily tried to grab his arm but he was out. Lily groaned loudly and also left the common room. James was already advancing on Severus.

"You stole it! What the fuck gives you the right to do that!"

"What is wrong?" Lily tried to get between the boys.

"But you two made it so easy. Perhaps you should be a little quieter about your password." James thought of Peter.

"Severus, what do you want? Are you here to apologise or just to stir things up?" Lily stood in front of James, almost touching, while Severus stood about three steps in front of them. It was not unlike the last time these three met up in the corridor.

"I came to talk to you privately and to apologise, yes, but not in front of Potter. I owe him nothing." Severus sneered at James who narrowed his eyes.

"You stole it!" James tried to get past Lily but she still stood in front of him.

"I returned it."

"Stole what?" Lily looked from one boy to another.

"The cloak and that is how he _disappeared_ in the forest."

"Is this true, Severus." Lily asked her old friend.

"Of course it's true!"

"James, I didn't ask you." She spoke through gritted teeth.

"Yes it is true but Lily you must understand." Severus changed from his defensive self to someone who seemed truly sorry. "If I didn't do it someone else would have and I made sure you were safe."

"Safe! Safe? Potter was the one in the end that made sure I was safe!"

"Exactly, that was sort of the plan." James gaped at the Slytherin, unable to believe that he was coming up with such excuses. "Lily, they are going to keep trying and trying. You just need to say yes and all this will be over. You will be truly safe again."

James looked down at Lily, he couldn't see her face because she stood so close but the stillness of her body told him she was thinking very hard.

"It can all be over. Everything with your family will be fixed, there will be no more of what happened the other week. It will all be okay, you will never get hurt." Severus continued. Lily shut her eyes for a moment. It sounded so good when he put it like that. She would be at peace with her family again, she would be able to have a proper mother daughter relationship. She wouldn't have to live in fear of these random attacks. She wouldn't be threatened anymore, she would be left alone. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad… Then James grazed her hand with his, causing Lily to open her eyes.

"No." James could have kissed her right there and then, "Just no. I can't." Without another word she walked back into the Head's room leaving James and Severus.

"You better be careful, Potter."

James laughed and slammed the portrait to the Head's room, leaving Severus out in the corridor fuming.

* * *

><p>Another one done! Thank you all for reading and please tell me your thoughts, especially the lovely reader's who have alerted, I would love to know what you think. I'm thinking the next chapter will be a little special one I've been working on after being inspired by a quote, it's completely set in the past before Hogwarts and then we can move along with the actual story.<p>

Now let's all go and watch the Royal Wedding!


	5. The Past

I know this is not usual in a story but I was just inspired by the quote below to write a little chapter about some of the major moments in a few of the character's lives. So this is a little flashback chapter which ends in the present day. I hope you like it and thank you to everyone who reviewed and story alerted last chaper and also added the story to their favourites list. I love you all!

* * *

><p>"There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. They aren't just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it's impossible to fix them." - Unknown<p>

...

The rose garden started at the left back end of Great Chalfield Manor. Once you walked through the kissing gate, on which iron spiralled into curves and flowers, you were welcomed with the intense scent of the roses. Reds, yellows, pinks, whites and even some multi-coloured ones all stood proudly in line for admiration as you walked along the gravel path. There were archways which were covered in roses and fountains were scattered around to attracted birds of every breed. Every now and then there was a bench on which you could sit to admire the work of Lady Evans and her house elves.

Adele Fawcett sat peacefully on one of these benches and leaned against the back rest as she watched two doves fly over the garden. She smiled to herself thinking of her late husband. They had had a funny start back at Hogwarts. She was in Gryffindor, like her granddaughter, and Geoff was in Ravenclaw. How she hated him! He pursued and pursued but Adele thought she was too good for him. Full of pride, she was. He was part of the Noble Families but was way lower than her in stature. So she ignored him until she needed a date for the Christmas Ball in seventh year and everybody else was taken and only Geoff was left. Looking back on it now, perhaps he had something to do with the fact that no one else would take her. He proved his worth that night, showing that he was a true gentleman and could take care of Adele. She kissed him that night too and it felt so scandalous! No girl should kiss the boy first and especially not on the first date! She grew to love him and they were together for five years before he asked her father for his blessing. The wedding was on a warm summer's day. She had the palest purple roses in her bouquet and wore the Wood family veil. The two of them went on to have children who then had their own families. Now Adele sat here in her youngest daughters rose garden at the Evans' manor. She sighed at the thought of her youngest, Iris. She didn't marry for love, she married for stature. Adele had hoped that her children wouldn't get caught up in the aristocrat world. But there went Iris and married an Evans. Iris Evans, Adele no longer recognised her daughter.

"Grandmama!" Now _there_ was somebody she recognised. She saw so much of herself in Lily.

A seven year old Lily Evans ran towards her grandmother. She wore a white dress that tied up at the back with a glittery purple bow. Her long red hair was half pulled back showing off her rosy cheeks. She admired her grandmother so much and loved that she now lived with them. Making herself comfortable on the bench she looked up to the elderly woman.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Just admiring your mother's garden, I love those pale purple roses over there. What are _you_ doing out here?" Adele nudged Lily.

Lily sighed dramatically, "Looking for you. I was bored."

"I thought that young boy was here keeping you company?"

"Sev', yeah he was but now he's gone."

"Oh, I see."

"Grandmama?" Lily looked up with a sad expression.

"Yes, Darling?"

"No one loves me." Lily felt offended by her grandmother's chuckle. "It's true! Mum and Dad never have time and always tell me to go away," Adele frowned at this, "and I have no friends here."

"That is a problem indeed. What about Severus?"

"Ew!" Lily scrunched up her face with her little palms on her cheeks.

"Oh, right. Lily darling, listen to me." Adele pulled Lily closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. "One day a boy will come along –"

"Not Sev'!"

"Okay, not Severus but one day a great young man will come into your life. Maybe he was there all the time, maybe not. Maybe you hated this boy or maybe you've loved him all along. But he will come into your life and you will feel this great emotion inside of you."

"Like being sick?"

"Like being sick." Adele agreed, "And so this man will make you happy, angry, everything!"

"Grandmama, why on earth would I want to be with someone who makes me angry?" Lily questioned, thinking her grandmother had gone crazy.

"Because you love him and he will love you. It'll be a love that I can't give you, that your parents can't give you, that no one can give to you besides this one fellow." Lily nodded slowly, "And once he comes along, never let him go! And please darling, don't marry someone because of their last name. Marry them because you love them. Promise?"

"Promise!"

"And Lily, _I _love you and don't ever, ever forget that." Adele held onto her granddaughters hands. She tried to squeeze them but she didn't have the strength.

"I won't." Lily smiled at her grandmother. "And I love you too, Grandmama." She said proudly.

"You know, I think you better go in and get your lunch now, Lily." Her voice was quieter.

"Are you coming in now as well?"

"No, I think I'll stay out here for a little longer but you go in." Adele gave her granddaughter a little push.

"Okay, I'll see you soon then." Lily kissed her grandmother's cheek goodbye and walked out through the iron kissing gate.

An hour had passed and Lily was tired of flipping through an extremely old edition of The Tales of Beedle the Bard. She looked out her large French window and saw a group of people in the rose garden. Curious, she began to run down to join them. Just as she reached the doors her mother came in from outside with tears running down her cheeks.

"Oh, Lily dear!" Lady Evans knelt down onto the floor and pulled her daughter into a tight embrace.

"What's wrong?"

"Lily," Lady Evans pulled back and brushed the wispy bits if hair off her daughter's face, "Grandmama has… She has passed away, Lily."

"I was just talking to her an hour ago and she was fine." It wouldn't be until a number of years later that Lily would realise just how frail her grandmother was when they last talked. A seven year old could never see this, however.

"Lily, she has. Grandmama won't be with us anymore." At that moment Nancy, Lily's nanny, ran up to them and held onto Lily's hand firmly.

"Come one, Lily. Let's go upstairs." She spoke in a kind voice and tried to pull Lily along. Lady Evans left her daughter and walked back outside.

"No, I want to see Grandmama!" Lily was growing angry over this. How could have her grandmother just died? She was fine an hour ago.

"Lily, you must come now!"

"Stop saying my name!" Lily usually loved Nancy but right now she was just being incorporative. She continued to fight with her nanny until her father came in.

"Lily, you will go upstairs to your room now!" Knowing better than to argue with her father, she stormed up the stairs with Nancy close behind. Once in her room she ran to the window again. The group had dispersed and the seat on which she sat earlier was empty. A salty tear trickled down her face as her bottom lip trembled. Grandmama, the only person who loved her, was gone.

* * *

><p>James Potter stood with his arms crossed looking up at his father. "I'm going to be in Gryffindor."<p>

"Are you now?" Lord Potter laughed and messed up his son's hair then kept on walking. The young boy followed him along the river at Avebury Manor.

"I know I will. Just like you." James was so certain of this and he had to be in Gryffindor if he wanted to be like his father. "Then I will take your place at the Noble Family meetings."

Lord Potter glanced down at his innocent son. He feared for the young boy, it was obvious that by the time he would be old enough to take over there would be a war. "Just enjoy being young, James. There is no rush to grow up."

"But I want to be just like you."

"Is that so?"

"Yes!"

"I think you'll be in Gryffindor. In three years' time, that is."

"I want to go now!" James dragged his feet in the long grass. "It's so boring here, Dad. Why can't I come with you to the next meeting?"

"James, we've gone through this." Lord Potter grew tired at his son's persistence and couldn't wait for him to start Hogwarts either. Not that he didn't love James because he did, the boy was just a handful. "You are not even close to being old enough to come along with me. You would get bored anyway."

"No, I wouldn't." How could he get bored if he was helping his father?

"You wouldn't understand what is going on." Lord Potter tried again.

"I know what's happening! We, you and me, hate anyone who worships the Dark Arts and we are trying to make it right before a war starts." James held his head high. "We'd make a great team."

"We would but we don't _hate_ anybody. We just dislike them and disagree with them."

"Not even the Black's?"

"No."

"Malfoy's?"

"No."

"Evans'?"

Lord Potter sighed, "No, James."

"I hate the Snape's"

The middle aged man stoped walking once they reached some shade under a willow tree. "You do not hate anybody. Hate makes you do horrible things."

"But Dad," James smiled as if he knew more than his Father, "they hate us."

"Maybe they do and look how unhappy they are. With hate they've turned to the Dark Arts." James thought about his father's words. "Besides, look at Uncle Charlus, he married Dorcas who was a Black."

"But he's a little strange, Dad."

"I'm just saying, they're not all bad and we do not hate them."

"Fine." James crossed his arms again. He still hated some of them.

"Edward!" Both of the boys turned to see Lady Potter walking quickly across the lawn. They started walking towards her and greeted half way. James noted that his mother looked upset and wondered what could have happened.

"Grace, what's wrong?"

"Adele Fawcett has passed away. Iris Evans' mother." Lady Potter dabbed her eyes with a white embroidered handkerchief as her husband pulled her into a hug. James stood out of it and waited for them to finish. "Honey, that's Lily Evans' grandmother."

"I don't know who that is." James felt unfazed by the connection. He had never known his own grandparents so he didn't know what it was like to lose one. "I'm going to find Henry." He sensed that his time was up with his father, which was disappointing.

"That's fine. Just know that you'll have to come along to the funeral on Thursday." James nodded at his mother and kept walking. Great, he had wanted to go to a Noble Family event but not a boring funeral.

* * *

><p>"I've run out of ideas!"<p>

"Not good enough, Reg'!" Sirius looked at his incompetent younger brother. "We need to teach stupid Krecher a lesson. He's been stealing your things!" In actual fact, it had been Sirius stealing his younger brother's belongings but it was more interesting to blame the house elf.

"But what can we do without magic!" Regulus was close to tears due to his brother's constant push. The two black haired boys sat on Sirius' floor with a parchment and quill trying to devise a plan when they were rudely interrupted.

"Do what without magic?"

"Nothing, Bella." Sirius was unimpressed at his cousin's entrance. Why did she have to put her nose in everything? "Can we help you?"

"What are you doing?" Bellatrix sat down on Sirius' bed much to his disagreement.

"Sirius wants to play a prank on Krecher!" Regulus said quickly then eyed Sirius awaiting his punishment.

"Good one, Reg'." Sirius' eyes narrowed at the useless boy.

"Why would you do that? Krecher's a good house elf. He does more than you around here." Bellatrix accused Sirius.

"So? He's supposed to. As you said, he's a _house elf_ and he's been stealing Regulus' things. Where are Andromeda and Narcissa?"

"Downstairs waiting, Walburga has sent me up to see if you are both ready."

"I don't think she would appreciate you calling her that. Since she's much older than you she's _Lady Black_."

"So, are you going to tell?"

"Maybe I will." Sirius threatened but all three of them knew it was empty. "Are we ready Reg'?"

"I think so." The small boy got up and began putting on his coat.

There was a knock at the door, "We're leaving." Severus Snape stood impatiently.

"_Okay_! Get out of my room." Sirius also got up now and placed the stupid grey sash over his shoulder and pinned it with the Black family crest. Bellatrix helped Regulus with his before fixing up her own grey sash with pride. Severus held his head high as he led the Black children out of Sirius' room and downstairs to where everyone was gathering.

"Everyone! We'll take the children by Floo now." Lord Black spoke over the small crowd and everybody started lining up at the grand fireplace. Those who had no children apparated making loud cracking noises as they dissapeared. Sirius just wanted to get this over with.

All the Noble Families of the Wizarding world sat on cushioned wooden chairs under a cloudy sky. Lily Evans didn't listen to anything that was said. She knew if she did she would cry and she didn't want to do that in front of all these people. Severus sat in the row behind her and occasionally she would turn around and he would give a sad but encouraging smile. Most of the time though she just stared at the grass in front of her in this large Noble Wizarding graveyard. Why did her grandmother have to die? She was the only one that loved her. Now Lily would be alone forever. After a long and painful amount of time the funeral had finished and everybody travelled to her home for dinner. Majority of the children had been put in a side room while the adults gathered in the main ballroom. Lily sat in the corner in her black dress fidgeting with her pearly white sash. Severus came up to her and handed her a new handkerchief which she scrunched into a ball in her small sweaty palms.

"Lily, it'll be okay." He rubbed her back.

Lily breathed in heavily, "No, it won't Sev'." She finally gained enough courage to look around the room. "I just want to go to bed. I don't know anyone in this room and I… I miss Grandmama." Her bottom began to tremble as she said the name. Severus smiled sympathetically at Lily not knowing what to say.

James peeked through the small gap between the double doors with a frown. He couldn't see his father anywhere.

"What are you doing?" James turned to see another black haired boy who looked as bored as he was. Within seconds James had noted the grey sash and established his opinion of the boy.

"Nothing that concern's you, Black."

"You don't even know me!"

"I know enough." James stood tall trying to be level with the other boy. He watched as the Black removed his sash and dropped it to the ground.

"I'm Sirius." He held out his hand and James eyed it warily.

He shook the hand, "James Potter. Why did you do that?"

"I hate my family." James' father's words ran through his head, _they're not all bad_…

"Really?" James stepped away from the door. "Why is that?"

"They're all gits." Sirius shrugged. "I mean really," his gaze turned to Bellatrix and Regulus in the corner laughing, "Who wants them for relatives?"

James laughed, "Fair enough." Maybe Sirius wasn't so bad after all.

Severus walked up to the two boys who were both now peeking through the door laughing. "What are you two doing? And Black, why are you with Potter?"

"Well, he's slightly more entertaining than you and weeping Evans over there." Sirius smirked.

"Her grandmother just died!" At this moment a frail Lily walked up beside Severus holding Sirius' sash.

"Sirius, you dropped this." She held it out to him then looked at the other boy she didn't know.

"Lily, this is Potter." Severus said with clear distaste at the name.

"James Potter." James corrected, "Sorry about your Grandma." He spoke sincerely.

"Thank you." Now she knew why she hadn't met him, he was a Potter.

"So, what were you two doing?" Severus asked again.

"Why do you care?" Sirius was quick to answer, he had had enough of Snape.

"It's just boring in here." James said. He would so rather be by his father's side than with these kids. Lily put her hands on her hips in offence.

"Listen, Potter, you aren't _special_ in this house like I imagine you are at home. So you're just going to have to deal with being bored and get over yourself." Severus held his head high. It was Ben Wood who joined the party next. His blonde hair stood out amongst the rest.

"Oh Merlin, I am so bored." He placed his forehead on James' shoulder as if he were about to collapse. Lily gaped at the boy, who she also didn't know. How dare these people call her home boring! Sirius smiled at the boy and held out his hand, while the other held his sash behind his back.

"Sirius." He smiled.

"Ben Wood." Ben lifted his hung head and shook Sirius' hand. "Are you bored?"

"Yes, he is." James answered for Sirius.

"James, this is worse than bloomin' piano lessons!" Ben exclaimed and James chuckled and nodded.

"Excuse me!" Lily finally found her voice. "If it were your Grandmama's funeral you wouldn't be saying that this is boring! Maybe you should find some respect." Severus beamed at Lily proudly.

"Actually, you're right." Sirius pondered, "I would be happy if that old hag died. It would be more of a party than whatever this is." James' eyes widened at the boy he was beginning to like more and more.

"Who are you again?" Ben asked. Sirius finally put on his sash. "Oh, right. Well, understandable."

"Thank you."

"Have you no respect for your family?" Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"No." Sirius answered simply without consideration.

Severus smiled, "And soon they will have no respect for him once they find out he has befriended Potter here."

"You can come live with me, the houses are big enough." James spoke without hesitation.

"Why thank you."

"Why would anyone want to live with you, Potter?" Severus sneered.

"Because my place is a million times better than any dark wizards place. We don't do or believe in any of that stuff. I have the best father in the world and who actually spends time with me, which I know is more than what any of you can say." Lily bit her bottom lip, he was right. Suddenly she was jealous of the bespectacled boy. "And really, Snivellus, it would be appreciated if you would just leave us alone now." James turned to Lily, "Once again, I'm sorry." She nodded and felt Severus place an arm around her shoulder. James watched as Severus walked away with the girl and rolled his eyes.

"Just one question, do you have a Quidditch pitch?" Sirius asked James.

"Two." Ben answered first and James smiled. Sirius' mind was quickly coming up with an unrealistic plan on how to get to the Potter's.

* * *

><p>"How dare you!" Lady Black screeched. "They are blood traitors! How dare you be seen with that boy?"<p>

Sirius stood in the dimly lit room completely unaffected. The Black family had just returned home from the last Noble Family event that Sirius would attend before leaving for Hogwarts. It was early in the morning but Walburga Black felt the extreme need to scream at her eldest son before anyone went to bed. Her husband stood to the side, so far silently, and watched the scene. Little Regulus pressed his ear to the door just outside the room, desperate to hear the fate of his brother. He had done it again, Sirius had spent a more than necessary amount of time with James Potter. Regulus personally did not mind James but he knew better than to hang around with him. Never would Regulus be a disappointment like his brother was turning out to be.

"Answer me!"

Sirius sighed, "Who else am I to spend time with? The rest are useless idiots who know nothing." He answered in a dull tone which infuriated his mother.

"You should be seen with Severus, Bella, Lucius, or even Lily. Anyone but that boy! You are beginning to embarrass me, Sirius."

"How tragic." Sirius said and watched as his mother's eyes widened dramitcally.

"Walburga." His father finally spoke from the dark sidelines. "Sirius will be attending Hogwarts soon where he will be sorted into the finest House of Slytherin and they will set him right. Potter is a mere result of boredom, am I right, Sirius?"

"No! I hate Slytherin, I hate this family and I hate the Dark Arts!"

"ENOUGH!" Lord Black raised his voice as Lady Black began to cry.

She sat on a finely upholstered armchair and covered her face with her lace gloved hands, "My son! My eldest son!"

"Sirius, you are a part of this family so you will do as we tell you! Never under any circumstances say those words again! Do you understand?" Sirius said nothing, "Do you understand!"

"Yes." He exited the room with his head held high. Regulus, who was still behind the door, followed Sirius up the stairs with the intention of discussion in Sirius' room, as usual.

Sirius entered his room but stopped short so Regulus couldn't enter. He turned to face his younger brother, "I feel sorry for you, unable to see what is really going on and who our parents really are."

"Sirius…"

"You will make them proud." Sirius shut the door on his brother and nothing after that was the same.

* * *

><p>"Expelliarmus!" Lily flourished her new wand and laughed. Serverus smiled and chased after her, cracking the fallen twigs and sticks underneath his feet. They ran through the woods on the Evans' estate with the shade of the tall trees providing them relief from the burning sun.<p>

Severus caught up to the redhead, "Where did you learn that one?"

"I've heard father say it a million times in stories." Lily shrugged.

"We are going to be a great team one day, Lily." She smiled at Severus and sat down on a patch of grass in a clearing. He sat next to her still holding his new wand. They had pestered their parents about going and buying their wands as soon as possible all summer. Soon they would be heading off to Hogwarts and leaving their families and manor's behind.

"I'm so excited, Sev!"

"Me too. We'll be in Slytherin together and see each other every day, learn new spells and… there's just too much!" Severus matched Lily with excitement. They had talked about this forever.

"It'll be perfect." Lily watched tiny pieces of matter float in the air and imagined her new life.

"We have to stick together, Lily." Severus had become quite serious.

Lily grew confused, "What do you mean? Of course we'll stick together. We'll both be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw, naturally, like our parents. All our classes will be together, what could happen?"

"I don't know. I'm not looking forward to seeing Potter every day, though."

Lily rolled her eyes, "You will have nothing to do with him, don't worry about it." She still didn't even really know who James Potter was. They saw each other about three times a year and neither had said a word to the other. "Why are you worried anyway?"

"I'm not. He's just one of them."

"One of them? This is about that stupid war isn't it? You know, I still have no idea what all that is about. Sev' you honestly worry too much about wars, other people and whatever else crosses your mind."

"You're right, I'm sorry." He caught Lily's eyes, "But I will always do my best to keep you safe, you really mean a lot to me Lily." She held the eye contact as he leant forward slowly. She didn't do anything to stop him. Perhaps she even leant forward a bit as well but their lips touched. It was short-lived but not awkward.

"You mean a lot to me too, Sev'." She smiled her award winning Lily smile and held his hand.

_One month later…_

"_Gryffindor_!" Lily did not miss the flash of anger and worry in his eyes. She felt his heart drop along with her own. She saw his face grow pale as she was sure her own did as well. The team had been split. It felt like an age as she walked towards the cheering Gryffindor table, far far away from the one she was supposed to be at. She smiled politely at the clapping students, did they not know what this meant? Sirius Black made room for her with a look of surprise etched on his face.

"Looks like we both got away." He seemed proud, pleased with his sorting.

Lily looked at him with her arms crossed, "I don't _want_ to be here."

* * *

><p>"Do you have your happiest memory?" Lord Potter stood behind his son.<p>

"Yes." James was eager to try again. They had been practising for days now and if he didn't get it before school returned he would have to wait until winter.

"Okay, when you're ready then."

James shut his eyes, thought of being sorted into Gryffindor then opened his eyes and, "_Expecto Patronum!"_ He shouted and felt his father step back. A fully formed silver stag galloped in a circle around them before disappearing. James realised he had been holding his breath the whole time once the Patronus disappeared.

Lord Potter began clapping and a broad smile appeared on his face. "That's my boy! Well done! Well done! I'm so proud." James knew that this would be the happy memory he would use next time. "You finally conjured a fully formed Partonus. I don't think anyone else your age can say that they can do that."

"Should we try again?"

"You can if you want. I'm going to go inside, dinner should be ready soon." Lord Potter put his hands in his pockets and walked up the stairs to the house. The sun was gone now but a little bit of light was left. James tried the spell again and it didn't work. Frustrated, he tried again and again. Surely it wasn't a one off. He walked further away from the lights of the manor and now it had become fully dark. With determination he calmed himself and thought of another memory. He repeated the spell and finally the stag returned. This time the Patronus lasted longer and James was able to gain a proper look at it. He felt that once a sort of connection was made it would be easier conjure the Patronus in the future. He looked his Patronus in the eyes then it disappeared once more. James didn't try again and started walk back to the house. He saw his father watching out a window then walk away. Making him proud was something that James aimed for in everything he did.

"So, how was it?" Grace sat in her regular seat at the dinner table and so did Edward.

"He's managed it, thankfully. I need to teach him as much as I can."

"You're not going anywhere, Ed." Grace reached for her husband's hand and squeezed it.

"James needs to know these sorts of spells before he is out of school. He's a smart boy, Grace."

"I know. He's just like his father."

Edward scoffed, "Right, so I need to teach him everything I know, just in case. I would never forgive myself if something was to happen and I hadn't prepared him well enough." Edward bowed his head. He would never be able to rest peacefully if he hadn't taught James everything. If he had left this world without giving his son the best hope possible.

"James will be more than fine."

"What will I be?" James walked in and sat at the long oak table with his parents. They said nothing and just smiled at their son.

* * *

><p>Evelyn made her way into the girl's dormitory in search of Lily. She had not come down for dinner which was weird because she had been saying how hungry she was all day.<p>

"Lily." Evelyn sat down on the bed which had a shaking lump under the sheets. The lump moved and Evelyn's heart broke at the sight of Lily.

"Everything is ruined!"

"Why, what happened? Is this something to do with you and Potter being relatively hostile lately?" Ever since they had returned for fifth year Mary and Evelyn had not been able to figure out what happened between Lily and James to make them the way they had become. Mary had asked Sirius but he had told them to leave it.

"No, it's Severus. I... He… We've both ruined us. Ever since school has resumed he's been so obviously involved with the others. With the students that love the Dark Arts and Voldemort."

"He's always been like that." Evelyn looked sympathetically down at Lily and pushed her hair behind her ears.

"But I just thought it was a phase. I thought he would listen to me." Lily wiped away a tear, "I can't be close to someone like that… he's gone." Evelyn nodded sadly. She had wished things would work out for Lily and that a miracle would occur and Severus wouldn't do what they all knew he would. She kicked off her shoes and sat the bed properly and hugged Lily.

"He won't come back, Lily." Lily nodded, taking in the truth. "You just have to let him go and take it how it is. Besides, it's his loss not yours." She squeezed Lily, "Are you hungry?"

"A bit but I can't go down there." She looked into Evelyn's eyes with fear.

"I'll go get you some food, won't be long. You'll be okay Lil's." Evelyn nodded reassuringly and left the dormitory.

Lily burst into tears as soon as she heard the door shut and hid under the blankets again. Her stomach felt sick with fear, a fear that she couldn't tell the girls or anyone. Did Severus know? She was sure he didn't, she had told no one of that night but had he connected the dots and realised that James was missing at the same time she was? Was his immense change, since the start of school, revenge?

"Lily?" What was it now?

"Yes?" She pulled off the blankets and saw a young second year girl standing at the door. "Sorry, can I help you?" She tried to smile as she wiped her eyes thanking Merlin she had taken off her makeup earlier.

"Remus Lupin needs to see you downstairs." The girl said the message and left promptly. Lily sighed, not caring about her appearance because it was Remus after all; she walked down the stairs to the boy who had grown significantly over summer. She reached him and saw James on the couch. Their eyes met and she felt her stomach twist. Lily could not hate him any more if she tried. She hated what he did and she hated that he had tricked her and she hated him now when he seemed to show genuine concern due to her tearstained face.

"Remus?" She ignored James, she did not need his pity.

"Are you okay?" Remus stood up off an armchair, unable to ignore James staring at Lily.

"Perfect." Lily smiled.

"You weren't at dinner and Mary said you were sick or something so I gathered that you wouldn't want to do patrol tonight."

Lily tapped her forehead, "I'm sorry, Remus! I completely forgot but I can still do it with you. In two hours right?"

"Right, I know it's easy to forget, I almost did as well."

"Well, we're only new at being prefects so they can't get too angry at us."

"Exactly, well, I'll see you then." Lily smiled at her fellow prefect and ascended the stairs again. She couldn't be in Potter's company for much longer.

"What's wrong with her?" James asked immediately as Remus sat back down.

"You sound concerned." Sirius raised his eyebrows as he drew his attention away from the chessboard where he played along with peter. He still didn't know what to make of James' summer antics.

"Maybe you're the problem, Prongs." Remus had not missed the change between the two students and he had his suspicions.

"Like always." James said in an annoyed tone and went back to his Quidditch book.

* * *

><p>She sat staring at him as he stared into the Head's common room fire. They had wasted time. <em>She<em> had wasted time. What if she had said yes to when he asked her out that day years ago? Of course, it would have been short-lived with their parents and their own ego's interfering. Then what if they had slept together? Would she be different? She knew he had slept with other girls but she had still not slept with anyone. Would something happen after the ball tomorrow night? She hoped so. Ever since he grazed her hand when she stood in front of Severus her feelings towards him had intensified. His touch felt so significant, it felt like a plea for her to stay.

She was fully aware of how he felt about her now. He had kept it no secret with the way he flirted and treated her when they were alone. It almost felt like a game. He pushed her to react to him and loved it when she did. She teased him to see just how far they could go without him giving in. Like now, she laid on the couch in her silk nightie with a long silk nightgown which draped over the edge showing off her legs. Neither had made the move. She constantly told herself not to, for her sake and for the game's sake, no matter how childlike that reason was. She would always remind herself of their status – friends. But the game kept her alive, it kept her mind off the depressing subjects which would swallow her whole if she paid them attention. It was thrilling and exciting, just like the other player, and when she had power over him it was simply exhilarating. She could hold absolute control over the most popular and yet most mysterious boy in school. She wanted to know his secrets, his fears, everything and anything. Lily Evans could not get enough of James Potter.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading!<p> 


	6. The Ball

Hello all! First and foremost thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I was so thrilled that you all liked the flashbacks! To the reviewer's I couldn't reply to: Dearest Louise - Yes, Snape was Lily's first kiss and they shared more after that. I love your reviews! And Wowzer's - I'm stoked that I have you hooked on an AU story and I hope I haven't let you down with this chapter. James isn't so much a coward, he's just extremely loyal to his family which was something he was raised to do but I thought that was very interesting that you said that.

So, without further ado, here is the chapter of Professor McG's fortieth anniversary party. If you wish to listen to the songs I listened to when writing then I recommend 'El Tango de Roxanne' Moulin Rouge, for a major Lily and Snape scene at the ball (you will know it when you get there) and 'When Ginny kissed Harry' Half Blood Prince, for the scene straight after with Lily and James. Horah, now off you go and read :D

* * *

><p>"The bottom line is that we never fall for the people we're supposed to." — Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper)<p>

Betty Braithwaite was a Ravenclaw seventh year student. She had shoulder length black hair and was an average size, a little short but with no outstanding features. Over the last seven years Betty had developed her persona into being a gossip and that was what she was known as. She was the gossip queen of Hogwarts. It was the morning of the ball and she knew who everyone was going with. The Head students, Lily and James would accompany each other of course then Mary and Ben, boring, but naturally they'd be going together. Avery with Clarissa Bulstrode, Marlene McKinnon with Dan Johnson from the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Georgie, who was still in the bathroom, was going with Remus Lupin and Betty was going with the one and only Peter Pettigrew. Her thin lips curved into a sly smile. From the outside it would look like she was going mad but it was all part of a bigger plan. Hogwarts had been in draught of some really good gossip and it bore her to death. Her life was nothing without the talk, the rumours and the heartfelt lies. So, in a bid to get the mill up and running she decided it would be best to befriend Peter. He was someone who had the inside information when it came to the two questionable Head students and of late also knew a lot about the secretive Slytherins. Peter was also surrounded by Nobility and nothing gave Betty more pleasure than to get a good bit of gossip from the aristocrats. It was like how the Muggles have their fascination with the Royal Family. Their lives were messed up, born into rules and purity, high class and wealth. A horrid noise broke Betty out of her trance. She waited to hear it again and as she suspected within a minute the noise repeated itself. Confused, but mainly curious, she made her way towards the toilet door.

"G?" Betty pressed her ear up against the door and heard fumbling around inside.

"I'm okay, just a bit of food poisoning from last night." Betty scrunched her nose up at the thought but didn't believe it because the same thing happened yesterday only Gerogia didn't know that she had heard.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Georgia replied too quickly. The toilet flushed and Georgia opened the door brushing her teeth. Ignoring Betty she put some books from the week away then returned to the bathroom to finish. "What?"

Betty cleared her face of any emotion, "Nothing, I was just wondering about you."

Georgia knew better, "Don't worry about anything, Bet'. Have you finally found a date to the ball?" She tried to change subject as she tipped her head over and gathered up her hair into a high ponytail.

"Pettigrew." Betty answered quietly.

"Er, I'm sorry but why? You're not up to something are you?" Georgia stood back up straight and placed a hand on her hip giving Betty a quizzical look. Betty envied how Georgia could look so good in seconds straight after throwing up.

"No, not at all." She pulled her old sweater over her head buying time. "I simply felt sorry for the boy." She shrugged.

"Right." Georgia fell onto her bed and admired the dresses in the room. Four ball gowns hung from the railings on the beds making the room look incredibly glittery and feminine. "I'm so excited!" Her voice had a tiny squeal in it.

"What about Lupin? Why are you going with him again?" This, Betty honestly didn't know.

Georgia shrugged, "We've just been running into each other a lot lately and he's a good guy and cute, you can't deny that." Betty couldn't, all the Marauders, bar her date, were good looking. "It's going to be an amazing night. I heard they'll be serving lunch in the common rooms because the hall needs to be set up."

"Same." Betty didn't really listen, she only thought about Pettigrew as she sat on her own bed opposite Georgia.

* * *

><p><em>One day earlier…<em>

"He's probably up there fucking her now!" Severus glared at Mulciber but he didn't stop. "And what are you doing about it? Nothing!"

"I doubt anything is happening." Severus sneered.

"Haven't you seen the way the act around each other Snape? It's so unbelievably obvious!" Clarissa Bulstrode rolled her eyes. "You say that she is yours, so why aren't you doing anything?"

Anger, white hot anger, was growing uncontrollably within Severus. Lily was his not Potter's. They were doing _nothing_. Lily was smarter than that. When they stood close to each other it meant nothing. But what if it did? What if Severus was about to be made an absolute fool? He had talked over the arrangements with his father and things were set. There was nothing to worry about.

"Why aren't you two going together tomorrow night?"

"Because the Head students always go together, Cee." He spoke through gritted teeth. There was nothing he could do about this.

"Have you even kissed? I don't even believe what you tell us anymore." Clarissa taunted with a wicked smile.

"Yes."

"Lie." Mulciber laughed.

Severus stood up, "Tomorrow, when I walk out with her go to the clock tower and see for your selves." Still infuriated with the others Severus stormed out of the common room. He would prove it to them tomorrow that he had Lily Evans.

* * *

><p>Lily placed her hands on her hips and James watched her from behind. Today she wore her opaque stockings for the first time since the return of school and James loved it. He'd love more to take them off, along with her just above the knee cream dress, but he had to focus on the main issue here and that was to get this hall ready in time. Lily turned around on her heel, she was beaming with excitement today and James just wanted to squeeze her.<p>

"What do you think if we…" His ears turned off and he wished he could shut her up with a kiss. The hall looked great and Lily needn't have to worry. She walked closer to him and he looked down at the redhead. "James?"

"It's perfect Lil's," It was, "trust me." The Hall had been completely transformed. All the house tables were gone and smaller round tables along the sides had replaced them. The décor made the Hall resemble The Hall of Mirrors in Versailles France, which Lily had visited last year. Gold glitter which looked like rain fell from the ceiling and disappeared long before daring to hit anybody's head. The glitter also emitted a small light so it also could be mistaken for tiny fireflies. It would be a complete and proper masquerade ball.

"I think so, too. Everyone will look perfect." Lily was finally happy with what she saw. She wanted every student to have their own experience in a luxurious setting tonight. She walked around admiring their work one last time before she would have to leave to prepare herself. It was only her and James in the hall and it felt larger than normal. The sound of her heels, which she was wearing in, were the only noise made and it echoed throughout the space. She felt James watching her every move. The sexual tension between them had escalated over the week. He spent a little less time with her than the week before but that made her want him more. Their game was reaching a tipping point and Lily felt that tonight it would end.

"Are we done?" Lily smiled at his voice knowing he would be happy when this was all over.

"I believe so. What are you going to do now?" She slipped off her shoes and walked back towards him and didn't stop until she could smell his natural scent that gave her tingles. She looked up into his eyes which were slightly covered by strands of jet black hair. Wanting to push them away she crossed her arms.

"I might head up." He shrugged. Lily had the greatest urge with all her heart to just tip her head only the slightest way so that her forehead rest on his chest and for him to wrap his, too, crossed arms around her. Instead she just nodded slightly at him. They didn't move and Lily saw the corner of James' mouth twitch with a smile. It was funny, here they were in this huge hall alone, glittery fireflies falling from above but never hitting them and standing mere centimetres apart looking at one another. It went like this for a few more seconds then James looked up above Lily's head.

He smiled and bumped her back with his crossed arms causing her to take a few steps away from him. He stretched his arms out then placed his hands in his pockets and walked straight past her. James was so certain for a moment there that something would happen. That Lily would fall onto him at the very least but then he spotted Mary, who stood at the grand entrance doors smiling as she leaned against one and watched them.

"MacDonald! Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Lily flinched at James' loud voice which reverberated throughout the hall. She spun around easily on her stockings and saw James walking towards Mary who had a funny smile on her face. Lily wondered just how much she had seen.

"Yes and I've come to steal Lily so we can get ready together. Everyone's upstairs waiting." Mary continued to lean against the door as James reached her. She smirked at him teasingly. She lowered her voice so only he could hear, "You are very sneaky, James Potter."

"It was all Lily." He accused.

"Yeah right." Mary slapped his arm playfully, "Go find the boys." James didn't need telling twice.

Lily collected her heels and was next to reach Mary, "Don't say anything, I don't want to hear it."

"Oh but Lil's you two are so beautiful!" Mary chased after Lily who had walked straight past her.

"Not a word, Mary." She called out. Mary finally caught up and noticed Lily still blushing. She loved her friend and couldn't wait until tonight when James and Lily would dance to together. She had seen it as a treat, a rare sighting, to see that moment between them in the Hall and knew that she would never forget it.

"I can't believe Potter gave up the whole heads room for us to get ready in!"

"It's my room too!" Lily chirped up above the girls.

"Yes Lil' and we love you." Georgia came over and gave Lily a hug. Georgia, along with Betty, Marlene McKinnon, Penny Abbotts, Sophie Barbary, Amelia Bones, Nicky Branstone and Dorcas Meadowes, all joined Lily, Mary and Evelyn in getting ready for the ball. The Heads room had been completely taken over with ball gowns hanging from every possible place, makeup was laid out at the unused desk and coffee table and food and cocktails sat in between. James had locked his door with a spell that even _alohomora_ couldn't undo. The girls got over this pretty quickly and turned back to their duty of looking nothing less that gorgeous for the night.

"Cocktails!" Sophie Barbary had been in the corner busying herself with some Muggle drinks. The girls all collected their own and went back to talking and fixing each-others hair and make-up. Betty eyed Georgia as she drank her cocktail. Georgia spotted Betty and simply smiled excitedly.

"I'm so excited to see what you've done with the Hall, Lily!" Nicky Branstone said as she applied Penny Abbotts' eye shadow.

"You will love it." Mary winked at Lily whose thoughts were clearly somewhere else.

...

"Georgia Brown?" Sirius lay lazily on his bed as the other four boys began to prepare themselves.

"Yes." Remus smirked at the marauder.

"Good one, Moony!" Sirius threw a pillow at Remus who stepped to the side to avoid it.

"What about you Sirius, did you finally get a date?" Ben questioned.

"Nope, didn't want one."

"More like no one wants to go with you." James spoke up, though everyone knew this was not the case.

"Are you and Evans going together?" Peter asked, struggling with his bow tie.

"Yes, as Head students." Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance.

"I can't wait to see Mary." Ben said more to himself rather than the others who all smiled at each other.

...

"Looking forward to tonight?" Mulciber stood behind Severus who watched him in the reflection of the mirror.

"Sure." Severus tried to make it sound casual. He had woken up this morning thinking about yesterday's discussion.

"Not going to back out are you?" Mulciber's smile was twisted as he taunted.

"I didn't realise it was a dare." Mulciber laughed at Severus' reply and walked away.

"Perhaps it wasn't," the larger Slytherin acknowledged. "Though it would be strange if she was to turn you away or you decide not to kiss her. Especially since she is _yours_."

"She doesn't know yet." Severus mumbled.

"Know what?"

"Nothing." No one knew yet and Severus had promised to keep it secret until Lily knew. He wished more than anything that their parents would decide to make that day soon.

...

"Is this for someone?" Mary smiled at Lily who stood in her new lingerie waiting as Mary unzipped the dress so Lily could step in.

"Could you hurry up with that dress? It's cold." Lily urged.

"It _is_ very nice lingerie you're wearing, Lil's. I mean, I wouldn't wear anything that lacy and so on if it weren't for someone special." Mary shrugged.

Lily stepped closer to Mary so there was only a very small gap between them. Her emerald eyes narrowed, "You _know_ who it is for." She whispered almost harshly. Mary smiled victoriously.

"He'll love it. Now step in." Mary said with no difference. There was a knock at the door and Evelyn slipped in.

"Lily!" She gasped, "You look so amazing." Lily's dress was a full length with a tight bodice that was covered in little clear jewels and then then from the waist onwards it flared out with tulle.

"You look great too, Ev'." Lily complimented as she zipped up Mary's dress. Evelyn wore a navy coloured gown which included chiffon, making her look like a goddess. Mary's gown was the most lightest of pinks, it was also full length and had lots of small details on the bodice. They joined the rest of the girls outside in the common room. Everyone had their small eye masks and were dressed in their evening gowns. Together they posed for photos that they would keep forever. Lily rushed back into her room before they all left to put the photo of her, Evelyn and Mary on her bedside table. She caught herself in the mirror and surveyed her reflection. She was once so unhappy with her body, tonight she felt okay but that wasn't important to her. What was important was whether he would love her in this dress. She heard her name being called by all the girls and breathed in deeply as she left her room.

...

"It's time to go." Ben was at the door waiting for the other boys to hurry up. James was the first ready, then Remus, Peter and lastly Sirius. They gave each other the once over making sure everything was perfect. Then put on their simple black masks which covered the area around their eyes.

"Let's go." James opened the door and the five Gryffindor seventh years made their way down to the Great Hall.

Students dressed in their absolute best entered the Hall in groups making audible gasps upon entry. The Hall looked immaculate at night and much better than it had in the day. Now the fireflies falling from the see through ceiling seemed more effective as they helped the hundreds of candles light up the dark.

The boys waited outside the hall as they were instructed to by the girls earlier that day. Penny, Kate, Sophie, Nicky and Dorcas had already descended the stairs and entered the hall in search of their respective dates. Then Evelyn led the other girls out from behind the wall, where many girls accumulated, and down the stairs. Lily couldn't stop smiling. She had spotted James immediately and had to giggle. The boys wore top hats and black coats with tails, looking very old school indeed.

She reached James and ran her hands down his arms, "You look phenomenal."

"Well, I _was_ going for dashing." James corrected Lily, unable to take his eyes off her.

"And me?" She stepped back so he could admire her.

He didn't say anything and Lily grew slightly concerned. James closed the space between them and leant down to her ear, "Words can't describe how beautiful you look, Lily." He didn't look back into her eyes but found her hand and led her into the Hall along with the rest of the group. His words were all she needed and she _now_ felt beautiful.

"Have you got a date for tonight?" Evelyn asked Sirius.

"Nope, yourself?"

"No," Evelyn sighed.

"We can do the first dance together then." Sirius smiled down at her, realising her nerves at not having a date. "Besides after that everyone just dances with their friends."

"Okay." Evelyn said cheerfully.

"Of course, we won't look as good as Ben and Mary over there." Sirius pointed to the couple holding each other having a private conversation.

"Or as good as Lily and James." Evelyn added the couple that had disappeared to the area where the teachers stood.

"Well, no one can look as good as James and Lily. But we _will_ look better than Peter and Betty." Evelyn laughed and returned Sirius' high five.

"We will." She nodded, "we will."

James' voice filled the room and the students stopped talking to listen to their Head Boy who stood on the small stage with Lily by his side. "Welcome everybody, to Professor McGonagall's _fortieth_ anniversary party. Lily and I would like to congratulate Professor McGonagall on her brilliant teaching and for making it this long at Hogwarts. So, we hope that you all have a fantastic night and I'm sure Professor McGonagall would like to say a few words."

Everybody applauded as McGonagall began to make her way to the stage. "Thank you James and thank you Lily for organising this event. I also must thank the teachers and all you students, well most of you, for making my job here a pleasant one and I wish you all a fun night." Every one applauded again and soon the music for the first dance began. McGonagall and Dumbledore began dancing in a circle and were slowly followed by teachers then the Head students and general students.

"This is so amazing." Mary looked starry eyed at Ben.

"They did a good job, Lily and James." Ben smiled at Mary who simply nodded.

"Their first dance was nice." Her voice drifted off at the end.

"Not as good as ours." Ben kissed his girlfriend as they danced.

"So Peter." The first dance had finished and now Peter and Betty sat at a table on the sidelines. The music had now changed from classical to something the student population preferred. The band played loudly and even McGonagall joined Dumbledore in a bit of fun dancing.

"Yes?"

"Does James spend a lot of time with Lily?"

Peter felt a wave of annoyance at the mention of James. "They're Head students; of course they spend a lot of time together."

"But are they always kind of… you know." Betty pushed on. She didn't miss the air between the couple as they danced. Something was there.

"Like they're involved? They can't be."

"Why not?"

"They're families had these wars and there is so much hate between them that it was sworn that the families could never be joined by marriage. Neither wants to be associated with the other I guess." Peter sighed growing very bored.

"But Lily and James are different."

"Obviously."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it a main topic. Let's dance!" She pulled Peter onto the dance floor knowing she had crossed the line for tonight.

"You know, you're not a bad dancer." Georgia smiled up at Remus.

"Did you expect me to be bad?" Remus pretended to be offended.

"Not at all!" Georgia assured him. Tonight was going very well so far, she thought. Remus was his usual kind self and she felt comfortable. All her worries were beginning to fade away, something that happened often around Remus. He hadn't brought up the 'problem' yet and she felt that he wouldn't. Remus was the type of person to know when to bring topics up and when it wasn't.

"Good. Are you having a good time?"

"I am. I'm having a really great time. I love it, you know, having nothing to worry about." The music changed and Georgia grew excited and started jumping along to the song. Remus, in turn, started doing some weird moves, "Okay maybe you're not so great."

"Maybe I was testing you." Remus enveloped Georgia into a tight hug. It only lasted a short while but it was the best part of the night for Georgia. Things felt different in Remus' arms.

"Hey, here comes you assignment partner." Sirius nudged Evelyn and tilted his head forwards. They were standing around a table and Evelyn spotted Noah slowly and nervously making his way towards them. "Well, I best be off. Penny!" Sirius moved on and began dancing with Penny Abbotts.

"Hi, Noah!" Evelyn greeted him happily. Sirius' company had been somewhat humorous and she was having a good night.

"Hey, Evelyn." He smiled.

"How is your night?"

"It's okay, I guess. Is Sirius your date?" Noah asked.

"Absolutely not, we were just keeping each other company for a while." Evelyn waved her hand casually not noticing that Noah seemed slightly relieved.

"Oh, right. Well, would you like to dance?" Evelyn was caught off guard with the question.

"Of course!" They made their way onto the dance floor to an area where Evelyn's friends danced together.

Slowly as hours had passed some students began to disappear. After what seemed like forever, for the teachers, the rock music a slower song was played. Lily and James found each other and began what would be their last dance together for the night.

"Time's running out Snape. Little Lady Evans is looking a bit tired over there."

Severus looked in the direction that Mulciber was facing. There was Lily and James dancing, quite closely, together. The look on Lily's face was one that she had never given to Severus. In fact, he could be sure that he had never seen it before. It was one of contentment and happiness all at once. He would refuse to acknowledge the look of fondness she was giving Potter.

"They look pretty happy, Sev'. Seems that she is all for Potter. Shame, I thought you had a chance but clearly Potter has won." Clarrisa shrugged with Avery wrapping his arms around her.

"They can't be together." Severus spoke through gritted teeth, "Nothing is happening."

"See, that's what you keep on saying but really… It's not what we're seeing, is it?" Avery joined in.

"We did good, James." Lily smiled at him as they came together for what would be their last dance together for the night. Everyone's masks had been discarded and the boy's had taken off their hats some time ago.

"Seems so." He looked over Lily and admired their work. He spotted Snape watching them from a table where he stood with some other Slytherins.

"What's wrong?" She saw tension in his eyes for the slightest moment.

His eyes found hers, "Nothing, you know what tonight reminds me of?"

"Don't mention it." Lily spoke through gritted teeth but she wasn't angry. She couldn't be angry right now. She felt so at peace, so happy.

"Will tonight have a better ending?" James asked. He knew she had thought about it just like he had. From their initial dance the memories started pouring back in an unstoppable manner. He searched her face for an answer and he could tell that she was thinking hard. Conjuring up the right words in her mind, wondering whether they were the right ones to say and there was surprise there too. Surprise that he had vocalised their joint thoughts. Without hearing an answer James felt Lily move a little closer, now his mind was the one doing the hard thinking.

All she wanted to do was to rest her head on his chest. The world around them would blur as she would slowly close her eyes. Then after a short while they would leave everyone behind like they had over two years ago. They would go back to the Heads room through the secret passage way in the Entrance Hall. They would stop constantly to kiss and take each other in. They would make it to the room and clothes would instantly begin to fall from their bodies. They would go to his room because that's how she wanted it. They would continue from where they left off last time extinguishing all this tension between them. She wouldn't be nervous this time so he wouldn't question her. This time Severus wouldn't come calling. This time James would stay and not leave her alone for two years. They could go the full way this time and there would be no regrets, no mistakes and it would all be okay because even if they couldn't end life together they could at least end tonight together.

She came back to focus and faced up to James. Her mind had made itself up, she had forgotten about everyone else. If she didn't do it she would explode with the intense tension that brewed inside of her. She had to settle her heartbeat and the only way of doing that was to slowly move her head towards James', which she did. Gain that eye contact, which she did. His look told her so many things at once like, do you really want this to are you really so stupid? She didn't care. Until…

"Ehem." That voice, the one that belonged to the person who had ruined everything last time. Surprisingly James didn't let go of Lily. He actually held her closer and it was the three of them again.

James watched as Serverus' eyes went from Lily to himself then back again. "Is something the matter?"

Snape ignored him and turned to Lily, "May I talk to you?"

"Again?" Lily asked impatiently.

"It's important, that's all I can say."

"Tell her here then." James fought with himself to stay calm.

"Why do you keep thinking that I am willing to talk to Lily in front of you, Potter?"

Lily could see where this was all going to end so with every ounce of willpower she turned to Severus. "Fine, let's go outside and you can tell me whatever it is that you so desperately need to tell me." She threw her hands in the air and stormed out of the Hall. Severus didn't waste the chance to send James one last sneer before he stalked Lily.

Frustrated, she descended at least one set of stairs before turning on her heel to face the Slytherin. "What is it?" She asked coolly.

"Let's keep walking." Snape didn't stop until they were out in the courtyard, now some way from the Hall. Goosebumps rose on Lily's arms against the cold night air that stung her skin and lungs.

"Tell me _now_." She had her arms crossed as she leaned against a column. The stone was cold but her feet were killing her.

Severus walked closer to a spot where Lily felt uncomfortable and he knew it. "I don't think you should be dancing like you were with him."

"_Him_? What do you care?" Lily could not believe that this was all Severus wanted to talk about. She went to leave but he blocked her.

"I care because your father would care. There are people in that room that would report straight back to him if something were to happen between you two."

"Like you?" Lily wanted to step back but they had somehow now come up against a wall.

"I know enough not to worry." Lily didn't like the way Severus spoke, as if he knew something she didn't. "Everything is against you and Potter and I'm pretty sure I needn't have to say that for you to be aware of it."

"It doesn't matter because nothing is going on with me and Potter, we're simply a team." Lily stressed the words. She was completely unaware that they now had an audience standing above in the clock tower.

"A team?" He laughed as he stepped closer to her again. Lily was right up against the cold stone wall now, "Does a team of two usually look at each the way you two do?" Another step, "Does a member of a team catch the others eye for a quick moment then move their head closer?" He acted out the words he said and Lily's heartbeat was becoming audible in her ears. "If uninterrupted would a team member just do this?"

His cold lips met hers. It was a hard and forceful kiss, Lily tried to move away but he held her still for a few more seconds then he held her in a way that she couldn't move. His kisses moved down her neck as she tried to hold her head up away from his. "Sev' stop. Please." She felt his hand glide over an area that made her hit the stone wall with her hips.

"So he hasn't touched you?" He murmured in her ear with a sneer. It was becoming more than Lily could stand.

"Severus, stop!"

He let go of her but she didn't move. "You're a fool, Lily. Potter loves you, he always has, and it is so embarrassing to see you develop the same feelings in return!"

"_Embarrassing_!" Her voice had an unfamiliar growl of anger in it as she shoved Severus away but only moved into the middle of the courtyard wiping her lips.

"Yes, embarrassing. He is one of _them_. You are one of us!" Severus began walking around her, she could have run by now but some sick curiosity held her there in place.

"I've already said no to your side." Lily seethed.

"Ha! And you think they care about what you want? You really are so oblivious to it all aren't you? I'm sure even Potter knows that it's not about choice. We all know you can't go any further with him than being a _team_ so there is nothing you have to hold onto on that side. Everyone you know, everyone you love who is Noble is on this side, Lily, our side. Oh! But what about Sirius?" Severus added in a sing song voice knowing it was Lily's next point of argument. It always was. If dear and daring Sirius could do it then why couldn't she? "Do you ever want to see your family again? If not, then be our guest to do a Sirius Black. But if you do, well..." He shrugged.

"I hate you."

"I don't care. I have you forever, Lily." She didn't want to hear anymore and she no longer had the will to stand and listen to Severus.

"Stay away from me." She began to walk quickly back to the warmth of indoors her dress billowing behind her.

"It can't last forever!" She heard him shout behind her. Tears stung her eyes and she broke into a run towards the secret passage way to the Head rooms. She was supposed to be in here with Potter not alone, running herself sick. Gathering up her dress, she ascended the stairs. She made it into the room, unzipped her dress, stepped out of it and threw herself down onto the couch in the lingerie she had foolishly hoped for James to see.

An hour passed until the door opened again. Lily had started a fire and was hurting her eyes even more by staring into it. She didn't look at James as he removed his dress coat. Instead she pushed herself off the couch and moved to her bed where she laid in the same position as she was in on the couch, face down and almost suffocating. She should have expected James to follow her in. Slowly he slipped off his shoes, laid down next to her on his side and pulled up a blanket to protect her from the coldness of the moonlit room. Lily didn't care like she usually would have that he was in her room. She turned onto her side as well to face him. He smiled sadly at her puffy red eyes and pushed a strand of dark red hair behind her ear.

James had to control himself not to kiss her. He didn't care about her, admittedly racy, lingerie that was now hidden under the blanket. He just cared that something had happened to her. When Lily hadn't come back after an hour he knew she would be up here. So without telling anyone he crept out of the crowds to find her and now here they were, on Lily's bed in silence. He ran his fingers up and down her arm lightly and she gave a small smile back before closing her eyes lightly. He continued to do this for some time but then it wasn't enough. He had to be touching more of her. So he moved closer and nudged Lily to turn around, which she did without hesitation. She laid up against him with her head under his chin and his arm wrapped around her underneath the blanket. He felt her hold onto his hand and without a second thought he kissed her lightly on the top of her head. He missed her smile and the tightening of her stomach. Together they stayed like this, in silence, neither daring to fall asleep, both wanted to live this moment out for what it was worth. James could only think of one thing as he lay there with Lily in his arms. The last two weeks had been torture for him. He had tried to ignore a feeling that burdened him. He would have to tell her because he couldn't do it anymore. He wouldn't be able to play this game of pretending for another week and then another and another. After a while, James broke the silence.

"I can't be your friend anymore, Lily." She didn't move, "I tried, Merlin, I've tried." His voice was slightly hoarse. She nodded underneath his chin then rolled around and moved up to level with him. She searched his face, taking it all in. Her fingers lightly ran down his cheek and she nodded again. She understood, perhaps only too well. She wanted to do what she planned on doing at the ball but fate, as always, had other plans.

Laughter and chat suddenly cut the silence like a knife.

"Prongs!" Lily's eyes widened but they had no time to act. The common area lit up and it was clear there was a small crowd out there. Then there were two people at the door. One raised their wand and Lily's room lit up like the common room.

"Lily!" Mary raised her perfect eyebrows.

"Prongs?" Sirius was surprised but felt he shouldn't have been.

"Give us one minute, yeah?" James shot a warning look at both of them and they didn't fight it. The door was shut and they both rolled off the bed. They shared a look and James went to speak but Lily beat him.

"It's okay." She rushed trying to find some clothes. James nodded and walked out. Mary slipped by him and placed Lily's dress on her bed.

"You left this out there."

"Oh, thanks." Lily's voice was flat.

"What –"

"Can we talk about this later?" Lily snapped then realised her rudeness, "I'm sorry. Just, we can talk about this when everyone leaves." She shut her eyes with tiredness.

"Okay." Mary nodded and left the room.

"James!" Remus called his friend from the couch where he sat surrounded with Firewhisky, clearly he had already had some. "The party has finally begun!" James sat down on an armchair and actually took note of who was in the room. Ben sat on the armchair opposite him with Mary on his lap. Remus, Sirius and Evelyn sat on the couch. Then Peter sat on the chair that was usually located at the unused desk but was now diagonally between the couch and Ben and Mary's armchair.

Lily soon walked out dressed in an old dark blue hoodie and grey sweatpants looking incredibly underdressed against the boys in their dress robes and Mary and Evelyn's gowns. No one seemed to care though and if they did, they soon didn't once the Firewhisky started pouring. Evelyn had also brought some vodka, supplied by her Muggle cousin who gave it to her as a gift at the end of summer.

If Lily had told James that people were watching them and if James had ever shared that Peter spent more time with Snape and other Slytherins they would have been wary about Peter, who was very interested in the two coming out of the same room. However, since neither knew the other's valuable information they remained ignorant to him. The two went along with the group and drank when the bottle of whatever was passed to them.

Peter drank heavily along with everyone else. Curiosity overwhelmed him at the reaction that would occur if he were to share some information. What would James do and what would Lily say? She didn't know that he had seen. He had watched from a dark corner in the courtyard as Snape pushed himself onto her. He watched Lily scream at the Slytherin and deny that she had anything to do with James. He had witnessed the first tear to fall from Lily's eyes as she unknowingly ran past him. Peter had also seen Mulciber nod approvingly at Snape from the clock tower. He decided to say nothing. His relationship with the other Marauder's was already frail and he couldn't risk it.

The group talked about the party and the surprise dates and happenings. Lily sat quietly on the couch next to Evelyn. She rarely had an input and always seemed to be somewhere else. Peter watched her intently. Sometimes she would gaze at James. Peter could tell from her expression that she was surveying him closely. What she would be looking for, Peter didn't know. Other times she would stare into the fire, smiling half-heartedly at a joke made Sirius or Remus. Her eyes would sometimes close for a period time, she was clearly tired. Peter imagined that she was also emotionally tired. After everything that had been going on. Her adoration for James was now so clear to him. Severus had every reason to be worried but Peter didn't understand where Severus' 'right' to Lily came from and the Slytherin would never tell or explain. The group fell quiet and Ben and Mary bid farewell to everyone. Sirius brought up a couple that had been snogging for the majority of the party on the dance floor. Remus added on with a story about a suprise hook up between two Hufflepuffs.

Peter smiled uncontrollably at these stories and laughed at them along with the others. The room was no longer still and he could feel the alcohol running through him. As everyone laughed he decided to add onto the list.

"And what about…" He laughed at the thought, "And what about Lily and Severus! I thought you hated him, why were you kissing him?"

Silence.

Everybody stared at Lily. The expression on James' face was unreadable. Reality crashed down on Peter with incredible force. Did he really just say that?

"I wasn't." Lily announced in a calm voice. She stared at Peter with those tired eyes, "You must have seen someone else, Peter." Still in a calm manner she stood up and walked to her room. They all heard the door shut quietly and turned to each other.

"Why would you say that?" Evelyn was the first to speak.

"I... It didn't really happen. It was a joke." Oh God he hoped they believed him or that they would all forget by the morning.

"I think that we've all had enough for tonight." Remus said slowly but he was still clearly drunk. Another door was shut and Sirius and James had disappeared leaving Remus, Evelyn and Peter in the common room.

"It's not true." Sirius grabbed James by the shoulders to hold him still.

"It has to be."

"Why? Pete's sloshed! He's just making shit up, it could have been anyone that he saw." James stepped away from Sirius who never took his eyes off him.

"Lily had left with Snape."

"Do you honestly believe that she would even get close enough to that slimey git to do anything!" Sirius almost laughed at the circumstances. James said nothing and Sirius sighed. "She's not yours James."

"So now you're saying it is true?"

"Definitely not. Look, Lily adores you. It's clear that she doesn't know how she feels about it or that she even likes it but she does. Even you can see that. I don't know what you two have going on but c'mon Prongs. Do you really believe Peter?"

James watched Sirius study the Marauder's Map as he talked. He wanted to see Lily but he imagined that she didn't want to talk to anyone else for the night. So instead he sighed loudly and fell onto his unmade bed. "I don't know what to believe." This was not how he thought tonight would end.

Evelyn walked quietly into the dark room and over to the bed. Peter had left and Remus and Evelyn decided it was time for sleep. So Remus went into James' room to join Sirius and James and Evelyn now found herself in Lily's room. Gently she pulled back the heavy blanket and crawled into the warm bed. Lily hadn't moved at all and Evelyn wondered if she was already asleep.

"Ev'?" Her voice was small and Evelyn smiled.

"Yeah?" She whispered back.

"I'm in trouble."

* * *

><p>Uh, I'm so hysterical with myself right now. I had edited all of this chap then accidently clicked on something without saving my changes. So if there were any major mistakes I'm truly sorry that I didn't pick them up for a second time. However, please, please, please send your feedback my way. Especially the many of you who have story alerted and favourited, I would love to know what you think and if you have any idea's. The more feedback the better my writing gets, I swear, so much inspiration and encouragement comes from your reviews.<p>

I wish you all a great day / night and thanks for reading!


	7. Love, Death and Life

Hello everybody! I hope you are all fantastic. As usual thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter. I'm extremely interested to see what you all think of this (long) chapter. It's a bit different and there is a lot going on. To Growinghope - yeeeeeessssss ; ) Louise - can you please just make an account! Your reviews are longer than the chapters! They make my day. Mary is not a seer, she can just tell these sort of things. The Remus and Georgia issue is solved in this chapter and I tried to get a little more Evelyn in this chapter, too. Wowzers - don't worry about your review it was fine and I know you are going to love and hate this chapter. Immensly.

Whilst writing this I also updated my profile so if you like you can check it out, it's mainly just explaining this story. I urge you all to listen Hallelujah by Imogen Heap (or Jeff Buckly if you must) during the last scene with Lily. It makes the scene, I believe.

Hope you all enjoy!

(I'm a little nervous)

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><p>"But love is not a victory march it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."<br>-Leonard Cohen

Peter woke up the next morning feeling horrible. His head hurt but the pain had not erased a single memory of the night before. He had said it. As he laid in bed alone in the dorm he thought about what would happen. Would he get another attack from Sirius? Did they even believe him? Then there was Lily herself. Poor exhausted Lily. Her tired eyes haunted him. How would he make up for this?

Lily stared out her window at the blue morning sky. Evelyn had left a short while ago so Lily could have some time to herself. She was perfectly still as she contemplated going out. The thing was, Lily hated confrontation. She couldn't stand the build-up and then the event of someone standing there and asking you hard questions. The answers were in your head but you didn't want to say them so while the other person talked you were busy trying to make up another answer. Today Lily would have to talk to James and to Peter. She didn't know what she was going to say yet but it had to be done.

Her door opened without a knock and Lily's stomach tightened. Was it already confrontation time? She didn't turn around to see who it was as they sat on her bed. The person didn't move or speak and finally Lily gave in and turned to faced them.

"I'm sorry I'm not James," Remus started as he saw the disappointment on Lily's face.

"But he sent you, no doubt," Lily mumbled.

"I actually decided to come in here by myself. James has decided to hold an all-day boot camp style Quidditch practice. The first game is in a week." Remus stated making it sound like nothing had ever happened.

"What Peter said isn't entirely true." He nodded as Lily spoke in a husky morning voice. "Severus forced himself onto me." She moved to sit up next to Remus.

"Because he is jealous of you and James?"

"I suppose. He gave me all these warnings, as he usually does. Maybe if I just accept who I am, one of them, then maybe... all these fights would stop. Maybe things would really be easier."

"But you're not really one of them are you?" Remus looked down at Lily who now rested her head against his arm.

"I guess not but I hate who am either way. One of them fully or someone related to them who," Lily laughed in spite of herself, "who fancies the enemy! Why can't I be someone else?"

"To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are, Lily," Remus caught her emerald eyes.

"What is wrong with wasting the person I am? I'm nothing."

"Ask James if you are nothing."

"I will be to him after last night," Lily looked forward again.

"You think James hates you after last night?" Lily said nothing, "Oh, Lily."

"He will have believed Peter. James will always believe his friends." Lily felt her cheeks go red, "I thought…"

"You thought you had something. You thought you had broken through to James. Worked through the exterior and finally found who James really is. And soon a relationship would start and you would finally have him. You would be part of his personal world and might one day be able to see things the way he does. But then Peter blew it last night."

"I'm so stupid but yes. That is somewhere along the lines of what I was thinking."

"But you have nothing on James' side."

"I have him!" Remus smiled at Lily's retaliation.

"Maybe you should tell him that." Remus gave Lily a little nudge of encouragement and moved off the bed. Lily watched as he said nothing more and left. She listened to the door close then curled back into the sheets with just her head poking out. No way was she ready to face the world yet.

...

Evelyn tried to focus on her homework but it was impossible. The conversation she had had with Lily the night before played on and on in her head.

"_Snape is convinced that there is something between me and James." Lily had lit a candle and they sat on her bed as she talked. "So he forced himself onto me and kissed me." The expression on Evelyn's face was one of deep concern and Lily was beginning to feel a little better as she talked. "I had no idea Peter was there. I pushed Severus away but I didn't leave."_

"_Lil's…"_

"_I couldn't, I had to stay. I just couldn't leave." Lily was still confused at this, "Then he continued to tell me about how embarrassing it is that I'm falling in love with Potter." She threw her head back and wiped under her eyes, removing the tears. _

"_Are you falling in love with him?" Evelyn's voice was even._

_Lily waited awhile before answering. She had never said it to anyone. All of this had been in her head so far. Mary knew it but Lily had never voiced it. "I don't know if it's love or lust. I want him," there was urgency in Lily's voice, "I really want him to notice me. I want him to love me."_

_Evelyn smiled softly, "He does notice you, Lily."_

"_But it never feels like enough! I want all his attention and I don't know if it's just because we're not supposed to be together or that there is really something."_

"_Well, do you also need these things? Do you need him around?"_

"_I feel better when he is around. I do, I need him around me." Lily sniffed and wiped away more tears, "And I don't know what I'm going to do when we finish school." There was a moment of silence then Lily dropped her voice back down to a whisper, "I'm scared."_

"_Of Snape?"_

"_No, I'm not scared of him." Lily knew that he would never do it again and she had meant what she said to him. If he came anywhere near her there would be serious trouble and she knew that he understood that. "I'm scared of James. What is he going to do tomorrow?"_

"_You have to talk to him, Lily. He won't hate you and he won't hurt you in any way but you have to tell him what happened."_

"_But then what will he do?" Lily remained unconvinced._

"_I don't know, Lily. I don't know and I wish I did so I could bring you some comfort. I think we should just get some sleep and you'll have a clearer mind in the morning."_

She thought about whether she had said the right things. With Lily it was normally just best to let her talk and get it off her chest so you never had many opportunities to speak. Lily had also told Evelyn about how James and her wound up in the same room and how her dress had been left in the common room. It made perfect sense and Evelyn believed every word. She wondered if Lily and seen James before he called on the practice. She had met Mary down at breakfast and was informed about the surprise boot camp. Mary, needless to say, was unimpressed. Actually, Evelyn doubted that James and Lily had talked to each other yet. Once she thought about it all, it made sense for James to hold an all-day Quidditch session to avoid Lily and maybe this was a good thing. It would at least give him the day to think. The door opened and Mary walked in while Evelyn was mid-thought.

"Hey, have you seen Lil's?" Mary collapsed onto her bed.

"She's probably running around doing damage control." Evelyn shut her book. The work would have to be left until Sunday, as usual.

"Ugh, I wish I had been there, Peter wouldn't know what had hit him. I still need to talk to Lily about her and James in bed together. Has she told you anything?"

"Yeah, she explained it all last night. Nothing happened but I'll let her tell you. Do really think that something will happen between them? I mean, it's a lot to risk."

"I think they've risked a lot already. I've noticed it all since about second week back."

Evelyn was surprised, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought maybe I was just seeing things. You know, making up some non-existent story in my head but apparently not."

"Have they just forgotten about how dangerous it is for them to have a relationship?"

Mary shrugged, "I don't know what's going on. Or what will happen now after Peter's little spill and Snape's… oh my God, Snape. What a… I don't even know where to start about that."

...

Remus was proving to be a great friend that day. Lily had been making her way to her old dormitory to talk to the girls when Remus had stopped her in the common room. He told her that now would be her chance to catch Peter alone as he had just left and was heading towards to library. Without thinking twice she began to walk briskly towards the library in the hope of catching Peter. Her stomach lurched at the sight of him about to enter the double wooden doors but this had to be done.

"Peter," her voice made his heart jump. It was in that calm tone that began to unnerve him. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course," he nodded and they walked in to the library taking a seat at a vacant table.

Lily smiled at him kindly. He sort of wished she would just be angry and yell. This calmness was a little scary, "About last night."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I was…"

"Drunk, I know but you still said it. Have you seen James today?" She asked casually.

"No, he's out at the Quidditch pitch."

Lily already knew this of course, "Right." She was glad that she would be the first one to talk to Peter. "What was the first thing you saw between Severus and me?" The replays in her mind were haunting but this had to be done.

"I just walked out and you two were kissing. Well, he was kissing you. I should have left but then I saw you two fighting and you ran past me." Peter contemplated about telling Lily that other Slytherins were watching.

"He thinks there is something going on between James and I. I'm assuming it was all out of jealousy."

"_Is_ there something between you and James?" Peter dared to ask.

Lily looked Peter straight in the eyes, "No. Maybe there was a little flirting every now and then. You know how James can be." Peter nodded, "But there is nothing. What is the point of lying to ourselves? Giving ourselves something that could only last a few months, if that. It would be useless."

"I think you're right."

"So, if James comes to you tell him to talk to me. Don't tell him anything about last night. Okay?"

"Okay." Peter finally decided that he would tell her. It could make up for last night's mistake and maybe gain a little of Lily's trust back. She stood to leave, "Lily?"

"Yes?"

"I wasn't the only one who saw last night."

"What do you mean?" She grew confused.

"When you left, Snape turned around and looked up to the clock tower. Mulciber, Avery and Bulstrode were up there and Mulciber nodded at Snape." Peter recounted the situation, pleased with Lily's interest.

"You think it was a dare?"

"Either that or he was trying to prove something." Peter shrugged.

"Thank you, Peter." Lily smiled and exited the library thankful that that was over with. Once in the corridors she found the first classroom and just sat in a desk near a window. She buried her head in her hands and tried not to cry. She was embarrassed that those Slytherin's had seen what had happened. They had seen her become so weak and they had seen her being taken advantage of. The thought of them watching it all made her sick. At first it had just been between her and Snape, something she could just forget but slowly it was becoming larger and larger. Lily didn't know if she would be able to stand it if one more person found out. Not having control over the situation unnerved her. She removed her hands and looked out the window. She could see the Quidditch grounds but no one flying. Part of her was slightly annoyed that James had avoided her so easily like this but then another part was thankful. She wasn't sure if she was ready to see him yet.

After a nerve-wreaking day of Lily planning her lines for what she would say to James it came to dinner time. Nervously, she made her way down to the Hall and met up with her friends. The Gryffindor Quidditch players were nowhere to be seen. She caught Remus' eye and he just shrugged. The clock ticked away and Lily could barely eat anything, her stomach felt so sick with nerves. She delayed going up to the Head rooms and spent time with the girls instead. Every time the Gryffindor common room door opened her heart would jump in the thought that the Quidditch team would walk in. Hours kept slipping by and not one player had returned.

Finally, she gave up and said goodbye to the girls and Remus and made her way up to her own room. She entered and it was all dark. James still hadn't been there. Tired, she changed and curled up on her bed to read her book. Though her body was completely exhausted she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. It would be impossible until things were settled with James and what if she did fall asleep and he disappeared for another day? In hope to erase everything from her mind for the time being she lit a candle and fully immersed herself in one of her Muggle books. She could only read them at Hogwarts as they were forbidden in her house. She had successfully lost herself in the story of the two lovers separated by war, a common theme that Lily was beginning to grow tired of. In this chapter the girl reflected on how she needed the boy. And Lily began to realise every time she said 'want' last night to Evelyn she should have said 'need'. Evelyn had even picked her up on this and it was absolutely true. She needed James' presence like she needed him to touch her again. Lily eagerly read more of the description of the girls' desire and need and compared it to her own situation.

"I actually loved you, you know," Lily jumped at the voice. James stood in her doorway. His features faintly lit from her candle.

"You loved me?" Lily was quick to pick up on the past tense.

"Yeah," James walked slowly into her room, "back in fifth year. That night… I loved you."

It flashed through Lily's mind again. The dance, the suggestion, the first kiss, him taking control, her mistake and then their undoing. He loved her throughout all of that… "Okay."

"And then it was really _shit_ when we came back to school and you hated me."

"Clearly I don't hate you anymore," Lily said in a small voice. All the words she had prepared were lost. James didn't even seem to be going down that path anyway.

"Clearly because then, after two years, you wanted to be friends." James walked around with his hands in his pockets as Lily still sat on the bed. "And last night I told you I didn't want to be friends anymore." There was a short silence as James found a crystal star ornament and picked it up. Lily stood up to take it off him. The star once belonged to her grandmother and she would not have it broken. She almost reached him but he put it back down gently then turned to her. "I know you don't want to be friends either, do you?" He said in a low voice.

Here was that question. The confrontation question and Lily, true to herself, said nothing before James continued.

"You wear this," he ran his hand down the side of her silk nightie, "around me constantly." His voice was so low and Lily's heart had increased its rate twofold at his touch. "You parade around trying to get my attention."

"You do the same," Lily's voice broke. She felt her body start to develop a slight shake and she worked hard to keep her eyes on James.

He smiled, "Not like you, Lily. Then, last night at the ball, you were going to kiss me." James began to close the last few spaces between them, "And you were going to again when we were in here." Now Lily's heart was seriously about to explode. "You really don't want to be friends anymore, do you?" James repeated the question.

Lily slowly shook her head, feeling like a little girl.

"Good." James didn't waste any time, he had wanted this for too long. He pulled Lily in with his hand on the small of her back and put his warm lips on hers.

Lily surrendered everything to James. Finally they had skipped two years and found themselves like this again. It was different, it was nothing like Severus' kiss last night and it was nothing like their kisses last time. She felt the release within her and focused on what was really happening right here and right now. She ran her hands through his hair and she felt his begin to find the bottom of her dress. Clutching his shirt, she pulled him onto her bed and threw off the book.

James moved his kisses down her neck finding that same spot like last time that made her sigh. He moved his hands up her thighs and could barely stand her heavy breathing. He found her lips again and kissed more passionately than he ever had. Her hips moved up to meet his and he pushed them down with his own. With all her force Lily pushed him over so she lay on top of him. She entwined her fingers in his hair and felt his hands run under either side of her underwear. Lily felt the slightest wave of annoyance run through her. She was wearing the plainest pair of briefs, contrasting greatly with last night's underwear. She thought he would take them off but he didn't. He removed his hands then ran them so incredibly softly down her back making her collapse onto him.

James took this chance to gain his position on top again. He moved down to kiss Lily's thighs and both felt a relief when she didn't jump. His hands went back under her underwear and this time he took them off. Lily pulled him back up to her so she could remove his pants. Everything began to happen very quickly after this. They continued kissing each other everywhere they could and taking off as many pieces of clothing they could. Once again, Lily revelled in the amount of skin contact. Someone who was so far away for so long was now suddenly incredibly close. Everything felt so right with having him this near and touching and she knew she would never be able to get enough of this. Then he paused, looking directly into Lily's eyes.

Lily gave a small smile and James took care of the rest. It hurt at first but he was clearly aware that Lily had never done this. He was gentle and everything that no one else could ever be. Because this was James and she was Lily and she had never felt so alive.

* * *

><p>Monday morning presented itself with a storm. Lily was one of the first down at the Gryffindor table. She hadn't slept much the night before due to the thought of having to see Severus today looming in her mind. Slowly but steadily more and more students wandered in. Mary and Evelyn joined Lily not much later.<p>

"You're here early." Evelyn greeted and tightened her Gryffindor scarf against the chill.

"Couldn't sleep."

"I suppose you missed the rumour milling in the stairwell then?" Mary picked out some toast and fruit.

Lily felt a horrid drop in her stomach, "No, what is it?"

"Georgia. They say that she's pregnant." Mary informed Lily who was slightly relieved that it wasn't what she expected.

"Not true." Lily said immediately.

"How do you know?"

"Please, it's Georgia. Sure she's… all that but no, definitely not and who would it be too? Remus? No." Lily shrugged off the rumour.

"Is she down here yet?" Evelyn looked over to the Ravenclaw table which seemed to be abuzz.

"I don't think so."

James woke up to a loud crack of thunder. He pulled the blankets up to cover his head and groaned. _Monday_. Within seconds though he's mind clicked to yesterday. Lily had told him about what happened at the ball and had begged him not to do anything about it. He didn't like her request but she seemed desperate. James had promised even though it would be difficult. When she recounted the story he felt an anger he hadn't felt in a long time. Thinking about it he showered and dressed then went to Lily's room. The bed was empty and unmade so he made his way down to the Hall without another thought.

"James!" He heard Georgia call from the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Georgie, what are you doing up here?" James was genuinely confused as to why the Ravenclaw was at the Gryffindor tower.

"I need to see Remus."

"He's probably down in the Hall."

"Someone told me he wasn't there yet and I can't go down there." James noticed Georgia entwining her finger's nervously and furrowed his brow.

"Why?"

"Just let me in the freakin' room, Potter!" Her voice was strained and James didn't need telling twice. He led her into the common room and up the stairs to his old room.

"I'll make sure they're decent first," James opened the door then shut it in Georgia's face.

"Moony?" Remus walked out of the bathroom ready for the day.

"James, is something wrong?" Remus asked.

"Not really," James jumped on Sirius who was still in bed. Whilst being attacked, James continued, "Brown is outside, she wants to see you."

"Oh, well, I'll be out in a second and we can go to breakfast together." Remus began to pack his bag for the day and ignored Sirius trying to kill James.

"No – _not the glasses, Black_!" With a thud James was pushed to the floor and Sirius mumbled his way into the bathroom and slammed the door. "No, she's outside the door." James stood up and walked to the door letting the Ravenclaw in. She now had tears in her eyes and James suddenly felt guilty for leaving her out there.

"Georgia?" Remus' concern was clear.

"I really need to talk to you alone." Her voice was shaky and James got the hint. He banged on the bathroom door and a dishevelled yet dressed Sirius emerged.

"What the fuck is wrong with you today!" Georgia made a small noise, "Oh, sorry."

"We should go to breakfast," James said clearly, picking up Sirius' Gryffindor tie and leading him out of the room.

"What happened?" Remus put his bag down and Georgia sat on his bed.

"Betty and I had a fight and now, coincidently, there is a rumour going around saying that I am pregnant!" Remus' eyes widened. Was she not pregnant? "Just because I vomited in the morning twice does not mean that I'm pregnant!" The tears began to fall and Remus wasn't sure about what he was supposed to do. "Say something."

He sat down next to her on the bed and carefully picked out his words. "So, to make things clear, you're not pregnant?"

"Do I look pregnant!" Remus noticed Georgia's hands were shaking fiercely.

"Georgia, when we were both in the hospital wing that day I thought the potion you asked for was for pregnancy. I did not start that rumour though." Remus was quick to add.

Georgia looked as if she had been slapped. "So, I've just been a pity case for you? You felt sorry for me and so you've been extra nice to me and decided it would be charitable to take the pregnant girl to the ball!"

"I'm sorry, I just thought that was what the potion was for."

"Well, it wasn't. Thanks for everything, Remus." Georgia stood up and straightened out her skirt.

"Where are you going to go now?" Remus stood as well starting to feel annoyed.

"I don't know. I have nowhere to go. I can't show my face in public and I guess you wouldn't want to be around me anymore since I'm not… whatever. Goodbye." Remus didn't follow her out. Instead he stared at the bed where she just sat in disbelief.

James and Sirius entered the full hall. James quickly spotted Lily and made sure they walked down that side of the table to their usual spot. Sirius simply tagged along, still not fully awake.

"So can we do some work on it tonight then?" Evelyn asked Lily.

"Sure, you know, we should be able to finish majority of it. Then you and Burke would only have to do a small bit later on."

"Perfect, see being in a Noble family isn't a complete waste." Lily smiled at Evelyn.

"Helping friends out with homework would be the only positive." Lily felt a hand run across her back. She flicked her head to see who it was. Two black haired boys continued to walk down the side of the table and soon took their seats. She smiled to herself and turned back to the girls.

...

Georgia wandered aimlessly through the corridors heading vaguely towards her first class. She could not believe what was happening, it was the last thing she needed. Her stomach felt sick and she could almost vomit again. Two Slytherin third years walked past her and stared at her stomach while whispering to each other. Georgia walked faster and found herself in a small corridor that she didn't recognise. Feeling that no one would be coming down there soon she leaned against the wall and burst into tears. She hated Betty, she hated James for leaving her out in the Gryffindor common room for show, she hated Remus and she hated herself. Her breathing became short and she carefully sat on the cold floor to calm herself. What would her parents do if this rumour reached them? They would be eternally disappointed. The sick feeling worsened as did her shaking and breathing. She recognised all of these symptoms but that didn't help. It would pass, it always did. But what about her reputation? It was ruined. Feeling constricted, Georgia ripped off her scarf and threw it away. She kicked off her shoes and brought a shaking sweaty hand to cover her mouth. Before she had time to react a person ran down to her and wrapped their arms right around her trembling body. Her face was pressed against their scarf and she could make out the scarlet and gold knit.

"Calm down." It was Remus. "Calm down, Georgia." He whispered but she couldn't control what was happening. He moved away and knelt in front of her, holding onto her shoulders. "What… what's wrong?"

Georgia was able to control her breathing for five seconds and she didn't waste it, "I have anxiety!" She screamed. "I can't breathe." She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to control herself.

"Georgia, look at me. Focus on me." Remus breathed heavily trying to get Georgia in sync with him. It wasn't until a few more minutes that she was somewhat calm. Remus moved closer to hold her and she held him tightly, crying into his scarf.

"It's so embarrassing. No one knows." Remus closed his eyes for a short moment thinking about his own condition. "This is what the potion was for." She broke the hug and fell back against the wall and Remus moved to sit next to her. "It helps keep me calm."

"But why haven't you told anyone? Maybe having someone to talk to could help you."

"I told you, it's embarrassing. I don't want to be known as Georgia the girl who's scared to get anything less than an A or an _Outstanding._ Or the girl who is so scared of her parents' opinion. They've built this fear into me that if I don't get top marks my life will be worthless and I won't have a future."

It was all coming together in Remus' mind now and he wished that Georgia had told him at the start. "So, now that Betty has spread this rumour you think that your reputation is ruined?"

"It sounds pathetic but yes. What you just saw was one of my lovely performances, a panic attack." Georgia mocked herself feeling so ashamed that Remus had caught her.

Remus nodded deciding that he would do all he could to prevent another. It was actually frightening to see Georgia like that. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I think you should just forget about what happened, if you can. Don't worry about me knowing, I happen to be very good at keeping secrets." Remus pulled his bag over and started digging through it. "And I also think we should finish this chocolate bar together." He offered a full block of chocolate to Georgia.

"It's not even ten yet."

"So, is anyone here to see? And I bet you have a bit of a head ache right now."

Georgia looked at him curious as to how he knew and broke off a part of chocolate. Smiling, she handed the bar back to Remus who broke off his own part. "I've never skipped class before."

Remus almost laughed, "Do you think old Flitwick will notice? I'll get a copy of Lily's notes and you'll be fine." To this, Georgia simply smiled. She seemed to be completely calm now but Remus was making up plans and ways to get through to her and to help her.

...

It wasn't until the period after lunch that she spotted him. Her stomach dropped and Friday night ran through her mind, feeling cold, being yelled at and then kissed. Slughorn requested for all of his students to gather around the tables with two people per cauldron. Evelyn and Lily began to follow the instructions for some useless potion that Slughorn had requested of them. Lily busied herself by cutting mixed herbs into very fine pieces.

"Lily, I think that's enough." Evelyn slowly removed the knife from the redhead's hand and threw in the herbs. Immediately Lily moved onto the next thing and Evelyn just watched her, handing over ingredients when asked. "He keeps looking over."

Lily looked up for the first time and saw Evelyn's narrowed eyes looking in the direction of Snape. "Yeah, well, what can I do about it?"

"Maybe you should talk to him."

"And say what, Ev'? There is nothing to say to that person and so nothing shall be said." Lily followed the instructions in the book with her finger.

"What?"

Lily sighed and faced Evelyn again, "I will not talk to him."

"If I were you he'd be in the hospital wing with a nasty curse right now. We all know you've got some good ones up your sleeve."

"What would that prove though? If I used Dark Magic a lot of wrong signs would be sent. People would interpret that I've decided to join my family and that is one thing I do not want. Now, if you want me to help you with your essay tonight you should stop asking questions." Lily turned back to the recipe as Evelyn put her hands in the air in mock surrender.

It was incredibly hard to concentrate thereafter. Lily could not stop wondering as to why Severus would be looking at her. She wondered if he felt remorse but at the same time had no intentions of finding out. Also, the embarrassment she had felt when she first saw the other Slytherin's was only just starting to die off. They looked at her differently now and she hated it. Lily also wondered what James was thinking. At a quick glance he seemed to be perfectly normal as he focused on his potion with Sirius. Lily still hadn't talked to James all day and it was killing her inside. She wished that she could be his potions partner and that they could talk and joke around in public. His simple touch at breakfast had her craving him and she knew it was his way of torturing her. He had said that she was the worst of the two when it came to teasing but now Lily was sure that it would be his turn. James was brave enough to do that sort of stuff in public whereas she would now play it safe. The game was over but what they had now was even better.

* * *

><p>The first day after the incident was over and now Severus sat in the cold Slytherin common room. They all seemed impressed with what they had seen and had now moved on. He wasn't going to have any part in their next activity. Lily would really never forgive him then even though she would automatically assume he had taken part in it anyway.<p>

"C'mon Severus, it'll be fun. There's always one lagging behind by themselves." Avery ran his hand up and down Clarissa's arm as she sat on his lap again. He wished he could do that to Lily and once upon a time he could have.

"No, you're on your own for this one. I don't need to waste my time on petty curses against Gryffindor's."

"You use to never skip a chance to curse a Gryffindor." Mulciber mused, staring straight at Severus.

"Well, now it's become a little boring, especially when you're going for such an easy target like a stray running late for a Quidditch match." He wasn't interested in continuing the conversation so he moved to his dormitory. He shut door behind him and was happy to be the only one in the room. Pulling his heavy book bag onto his bed, Severus searched for the letter he received that morning from his father. The Snape family crest was inked onto the page as a header and his father's slanted handwriting dominated the rest of the space.

_Severus,_

_I understand your concern about Lily. As you have requested I have spoken with Lord Evans about setting a date on which we can have a conjoined family meeting. I did not enclose with him your theories about Lily and young Potter. I felt it was unnecessary as it seems more like a school boy issue than a real world problem. I can confirm that you, your mother and I will be having lunch at the Evans' with Lily on Saturday week, November 8. Until then I wish you a pleasant Halloween and your mother and I look forward to seeing you soon._

As usual, Lord Snape signed the bottom as if it were a business deal. Severus found relief in the letter. Finally there was movement and soon everything would be different. Lily would be safe and out of Potter's arms. Eventually she will see that this way is the right way. Potter surely won't last too long out of school anyway. Severus grudgingly agreed that the boy was good at a duel but was still prone to foolish actions. It would only take one 'heroic' move and he would be hit, along with Sirius Black in a perfect world. Both boys were targets and Severus hoped that he would be the one to take at least one of them down. The glory that would come with the murder would be spectacular and never-ending. Voldemort would respect him forever and he would perhaps be made leader.

Severus checked the time, eleven-thirty. It was time to meet Pettigrew in the Astronomy Tower. He rolled his eyes at the idea. Pettigrew had suggested the meeting place and it sounded more like they were going to snog rather than discuss issues. Severus had realised that it was close to the Gryffindor Dormitory so Pettigrew wouldn't have to walk far. Lazy arse, thought Severus. Nevertheless, he started his long walk to the other side of the castle.

"We have to have a meeting this week about Halloween and the Quidditch match, too." Lily said aimlessly as her and James made their way back to the Head Dormitory after completing rounds. James said nothing to her words. "Thank you for not doing anything today about Severus. I know it would have been hard for you."

James smirked, "You know what was harder?"

"What?"

"Not being able to do this." James wrapped his hand around Lily's waist and gently kissed her lips. She moved so she leaned against the wall. He lifted her up so her legs wrapped around his waist and so she was trapped between him and the wall. He moved his hands under her thighs making her arch her back. "And not being able to touch you." Lily smiled into his kiss.

Severus watched Lily react to Potter from around a corner. He thought about her pleas for him to stop last Friday. Once upon a time she didn't do that and he hoped that one day in the future she wouldn't either. Severus turned around, he couldn't stand anymore. He was late anyway and Pettigrew had probably finished waiting so he turned back towards the dungeons. He wished he could obliviate the memory from his mind but he couldn't. It gave him no new interest to participate in what the others were planning but he would save this memory for another day. He could use it for proof or simply as a reminder for when he's duelling Potter on the battlefield. Victory would be sweet.

At the same time Peter was walking down from the Astronomy Tower. He was still in the dark when he spotted the pair. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lily had lied to him and he couldn't believe that he had been so trusting. Peter realised that he was between the two and the Head Dormitory. Acting quickly he headed back in the direction he came from. With a quick look over his shoulder he saw James let Lily down and have one more kiss before they started walking towards him. Now Peter ran up a staircase and passed the Heads room with relief that he had not been seen.

James opened the portrait with the new password and Lily didn't wait another second once they were inside to resume. Again, they were on Lily's bed and James was pulling down her stockings. Again, she was lost with him. Once they were alone they were no longer a Potter and an Evans. They were just James and Lily with no commitments to other people and societies. There was no nobility and no rules in their own world.

"Have you been thinking about me all day?" Lily asked in a whisper as she unbuttoned James' shirt.

James smirked, "Is that a trick question? Have you been thinking about this all day?" He asked revelling in the feel of Lily running her hands down his chest.

"Is _that_ a trick question?"

"My, my, little Lily thinking about sex, I feel I have corrupted you."

Lily pushed James over with all her power, "Shut up, you were too."

"I don't deny it." Lily smirked at James' response and returned to kissing him. Her kisses ran down his chest and back up again along his collarbone, cheek then mouth. She could feel he was growing restless with her slow movements. She smiled to herself at how she was driving him crazy by prolonging the event.

"Don't you like a bit of foreplay?" She whispered into his ear.

"No." James easily rolled Lily back over and gained control. He ran his hand over her underwear then pulled them down. Lily arched her back at the sensation as he entered her. She _had_ been thinking about this all day. The feelings she felt hadn't left her since the first time. His body touching hers and the feeling of being wanted even craved was intoxicating. James' hands running lightly up her sides and through her hair, his kisses, his everything, how could she not think about this all day? Then she felt something new. Something different. This hadn't happened the first time. A deep tightening feeling overwhelmed her and she gave in to her desperate urge to move faster. James had found her hands and she squeezed his as her back arched. She wanted to scream with pleasure but he kissed her instead so she put all this new energy into this kiss as if it would be their last. Now she had been corrupted, as James would say.

* * *

><p>Lily knew she was glowing when she woke up to the sun in her eyes. James' arms were wrapped tightly around her and she hoped it wasn't time to get up soon.<p>

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"It's Halloween."

"Yay." Lily smiled at James' sarcasm.

"But its Friday, tomorrow is Quidditch." Lily tried to put a positive spin on the day.

"You don't care about Quidditch." James mumbled, wondering why Lily found it necessary to keep on talking when they could just keep on sleeping. She tried to move but he tightened his grip around her.

"We have to go to class, James."

"Ha-ha, I know there is no class today, it's Halloween." James released his grip on Lily and pushed back the sheets. "There is, however, a morning Quidditch practice." He got up and stretched out his arms.

"So you'll get up for Quidditch practice out in the freezing cold but not for class?" Lily rolled to face him with her eyebrows raised.

James pretended to think, "Yes." With that he left her and went into his own room. He emerged half an hour later with his Quidditch practice gear on holding his broomstick. Lily was still in bed and watched him stand at her door. "Are you going to stay there all day?"

"No, I'm going to spend the day with the girls, eventually."

"Okay, have fun." James left her and started towards the Gryffindor common room to meet Sirius and some other team member if they were still there. To his surprise the whole team stood outside the Fat Lady portrait. They all stared him grimly then Sirius stepped out to meet him.

"Watkins won't be playing tomorrow." He spoke gravely.

"Why not?"

"His parents were killed last night. His mother was a Muggle and his father was a wizard. Doesn't take much to put the pieces together." Sirius looked James in the eyes. The news brought up old wounds for James but he tried to push them away. This wasn't about him.

"Is he still here?" James asked his team.

"Dumbledore is just taking him down to Hogesmeade now." Ben answered.

"Okay, whoever wants to practice can. The pitch is ours until one o'clock. Sirius, find me a Seeker." James spoke desperately then ran to catch up to Watkins and Dumbledore.

The cold air stung his lungs and made it harder to run but he made it. Dumbledore agreed to walk ahead so James could talk to Fabius. The first year was pale and clearly terrified.

"I don't know what to do." He spoke with no emotion the words just fell from his slightly blue lips.

"Fabius, you don't have to be strong. You don't have to pretend anything, okay?"

"I just don't understand why? Why my parents? What did they do?" Fabius looked up to James, as he always did, for the answer.

"There is going to be a war, Fabius. Unfortunately the loss of your parents and my father are already a result of it." James wasn't going to lie. He hated it when people lied to him when his father died.

"I know and I know who you are in this war. Will you fight for me and for my parents? I would if I could but I'm too young. I just want to know that there is someone fighting for them."

James nodded sadly and hugged the young boy patting him on the back. Quickly he wiped a tear away and let go. "Oh, hey," James put a hand in his pocket and pulled out a golden Snitch, "next year?" He handed the Snitch to Fabius who sighed heavily.

"Next year." He pocketed James' Snitch, said goodbye and ran to catch up to Dumbledore. James watched as Dumbledore led the new orphan through the gates. Fabius turned and waved to James who waved back in return then turned his back. Somehow he wasn't surprised to see the rest of the Quidditch team standing a hundred metres back also watching Fabius Watkins leave. James bowed his head and walked towards them.

As he reached them James noticed a lanky brown haired boy standing next to Sirius. The team watched him as he stood in front of the boy.

"What are your parents?" James had never asked such a question and he knew Sirius was sending him a look.

"I don't understand." The boy seemed afraid of James.

"What blood stature are your parents?"

"James!" Ben was outraged by the question.

"My dad's half blood and my mum's a pureblood."

"Let's go practice then." James walked in front of the rest towards the Quidditch pitch.

"He didn't even ask my name." Sirius looked down at the boy and sighed. He wasn't impressed with James' question, no one in the team was, but Sirius knew it was out of anger. Lord Potter would be haunting James' mind right now.

"Catch up to him and introduce yourself. I told you today would possibly be the worst day of your life but you need to prove yourself to him." Sirius gave the boy a little push and stayed back with the rest of the team.

"Potter, I'm Benjy Williams, third year." Benjy held out his hand but James didn't shake it. "I'm sorry that you lost Watkins, I know you worked hard to get him on the team. That's why I didn't even try out." Now he had James' attention. "But I will work really hard, all day if I have to, to get up to your standard. We should win tomorrow for Watkins."

"Winning a Quidditch game won't help Watkins."

A gruelling practice finished as the Hufflepuff's entered the Pitch. James had only let a Snitch out once for Benjy to find. He was more interested in getting the boy's flying up to scratch.

"Sorry to hear about Watkins." The Hufflepuff Captain, Smith, said with the least amount of sympathy possible.

"Sure." Sirius smirked at him. "You know, if anything it's given this team a bit of a boost to perform tomorrow. Hope you didn't think you were going to get an easy win."

Smith said nothing and turned back to his own team as the Gryffindor's filed out of the pitch. Rain started to fall on the grounds and an eerie fog developed over the lake. Sirius was happy that James started to give Benjy some attention. He desperately had to see Lily and it seemed that James would be busy for the rest of the day.

"Do you have any plans until the feast?" James asked Benjy.

"No."

"Alright, follow me." James led Benjy to the seventh floor and opened the Room of Requirements. Benjy followed James in and felt his mouth drop open. A huge hall presented itself. Benjy would go as far to say that it was larger than the Great Hall. "Now we'll practice catching the Snitches." James let a Snitch go and Benjy started looking for it immediately while James sat on the ground against a wall and watched. Benjy was determined to wipe the bored and depressed look off the Head Boy's face. After a short while a found the Snitch caught it and presented it to James. To Benjy's displeasure James simply let the Snitch go without praise, "Again."

This routine was repeated over and over. Each time the Snitch was getting harder to catch and James seemed to be creating obstacles silently from the floor. After the seventh round Benjy grew really irritated at being at the receiving end of James' frustration.

"Alright, Potter. I think you should have a go." Benjy didn't hand over the snitch this time.

"Excuse me? I don't need to practice." James looked at the third year incredulously from the floor.

"No, I think you should practice against me. Best out of three catches wins."

James smirked, "Fine."

Benjy released the Snitch and signalled when they could go. The tension in the room was high but Benjy was determined. James was still for a long time and it unnerved him. Then, within seconds he moved a lightning speed and held the Snitch in his hand. Benjy cursed himself as James let go of the Snitch again. This time he focused harder, he had to catch it at least once.

"Why did you volunteer to be on the team anyway?" Benjy tried not to let James' question distract him.

"Sirius just asked and I said yes. It was something I wanted but as I said, I didn't try out because I knew you wanted Watkins. So here I am. Sirius said it would be like this." Benjy shrugged.

"Like what?" James lost his focus and Benjy flew straight past him. He spotted the gold right before Benjy covered it in his hand. "Nice one." Benjy let go of the Snitch and they started again. "What did Sirius say it would be like?" He repeated.

"He said you would put your anger on me because I'm the new Seeker. I'm not what you wanted and I understand that but I'm what you've got." Benjy was gaining confidence after his last catch. Now he had to catch this last one. It would be the fastest way to gain Potter's respect. Time began to drag itself out and Benjy was growing tired. Then he saw it but so did James. Both the boys flew towards a corner of the room. Benjy outstretched his hand, he almost had it. James pulled back and Benjy caught it easily and pulled up without a problem before hitting the ground.

"Why did you let me catch it?" He felt cheated.

"I wanted to see if you could stop quickly enough before hitting the ground. You're alright, Williams. Welcome to the team." James held out his hand now and Benjy shook it. "See you at the feast and don't stay up too late." James gave his first smile and left Benjy alone in the room, ready to collapse on the floor.

...

Lily looked at Sirius from her usual armchair in the Heads common room. She couldn't tell whether he knew or not. Sometimes he would say things that made her think yes, he knows about her and James. Other times he would say things that were right off track.

"So, Fabius Watkins' parents were murdered overnight." She tried to understand what he was getting at.

"Yes and I think we both know the type of people who did it."

"Obviously, unfortunately it's something I'm becoming use to."

"What, keeping the list of people that your family has murdered a secret?" Sirius looked at her knowingly.

"Something like that." Lily inspected the ends of hair, breaking off split ends.

"Anyway, I came here to warn you about James." Sirius sat up from his lounging position.

"What about him?" Once again Lily felt like there was something she didn't know.

"You know, obviously, about his dad. When something like this happens James seems to act strangely. He doesn't think about what he's saying. Like today it appeared as though he only let Benjy Williams on the team because neither of his parents are Muggle-born. I know this wasn't the case but he did ask what they're blood status was. Upset Wood a bit." Sirius thought back.

"That doesn't seem like James."

"Exactly, so, if he acts out or accuses you of something just don't take it personally." Sirius realised that Lily didn't believe him so he decided to leave it. Lily would find out for herself. "How's your parents?"

Lily was surprised by the question, "They're fine, I guess. I don't really talk to them."

"You're really trying to break away, aren't you?" Sirius almost looked sad.

"You did, why can't I?"

He almost laughed but then became very serious. "Lily, it was horrible. It _is_ horrible. I can never go back. Things between Reg' and I will never be the same." Sirius studied the carpet between his feet as he spoke. "I wish, more than anything, that things were different, that my family were different. It's become easier to hate them and curse their name now. It's almost become a habit."

"Are you trying to tell me that I should follow my family?" Lily was starting to appreciate Sirius' company. They rarely had proper conversations. Which was disappointing because, when you thought about it, they actually had quite a bit in common.

"Not at all. I'm just saying that if breaking away is really what you want to do just be aware of the price." Sirius caught her eye, "James is great but he can't compensate a family."

"What if I made a family with James?" Lily covered her mouth as soon as she said it. She knew her face was turning red and her heart raced as Sirius looked at her sympathetically. He smiled sadly again and Lily fell back in her chair, she didn't even realise she had been sitting on the edge. "I didn't mean that."

"Of course not." Sirius decided this would be the best time to leave. He stood to leave at the same time James presented himself through the portrait. "Prongs!"

James looked between Lily, who was blushing and Sirius who looked too happy. He decided to ignore it, today had been too much already. "Williams will be a good Seeker."

"Perfect. Are you about to head down to the feast?"

"Just let me change." James threw his broom on the ground then walked into his bedroom shutting the door behind him.

Lily moaned and made a point of picking up the broom and leaning against the wall as Sirius chuckled. "Do not say anything."

"Promise."

* * *

><p>James woke up alone on Saturday morning. The events of the day before ran through his mind. He wondered how Fabius was going. Did he have somewhere to live? Someone to look after him? The thoughts almost made him sick, the boy was only a first year. Then James had been so tired by the time of the Halloween feast that he could barely keep his eyes open. As a result he had come to bed early and hadn't seen anyone since. He rolled himself out of bed to see that there was a slight drizzle of rain outside. Sighing, he found his Quidditch uniform, changed and made his way down to have pancakes with Sirius.<p>

"Oh c'mon, sitting with the Gryffindor's will do you good." Remus held an umbrella over Georgia's head as they walked to the Quidditch pitch.

"But I'm not in Gryffindor colours, Remus." She tried to fight against him. Remus found his wand and tapped Georgia's blue and black scarf. The colours instantly changed to the Gryffindor colours which incidentally matched her red patterned wellingtons.

"Now you are. Please, sit with me. It'll be fun!" Remus pouted for her sympathy.

"Fine, fine! I'll sit in the Gryffindor stand." Remus smiled and wrapped his arm around her giving something of a sidewards hug then let go. "At least I won't be anywhere near Betty." Georgia mumbled.

It amazed Remus at how two roommates had managed to say completely nothing to each other for a whole week. He had found out that the fight was due to Georgia accusing Betty of only going to the ball with Peter to cause trouble. This then led to Betty believing that Georgia thought of her as a 'gossiping bitch'. Which was somewhat true. So, in spite of Georgia, Betty spread the rumour. Not much damage had been caused and now Remus focused on a more major issue.

"Mary, we're going to be late!" Evelyn returned from breakfast and Mary still wasn't out of bed.

"Hmm, I'm coming." Mary rolled over again, regretting having a late night with the girls before. Lily had slept back in her old bed and they had a little Halloween party.

Lily walked in with Ben all dressed up for the game. "Mary! I have to go now or James will kill me."

"It's fine, darling. Just go, I'll see you after the match." Mary mumbled and Ben hesitated. Hastily he kissed her goodbye and ran off. Lily then ripped then sheets from Mary.

"Get out of bed _now_!" Lily was growing impatient. She hadn't seen James since the feast and was, shamefully, beginning to miss him.

Mary stood up and finally realised how annoyed the girls were. "I'm sorry, I'll meet you girls down there, save me a seat." They agreed and soon they were gone. Mary showered and dug through her trunk for her cape and scarf, it would be freezing out there. By the time she left her room the Gryffindor common room was empty. The corridors were the same way. Quickly she ran down to the Entrance Hall. Mary stopped only to put up her umbrella against the slight rain. Perhaps if she hadn't stopped, it wouldn't have happened.

A first year Gryffindor was trying to pull Evelyn and Lily away from the game. Lily couldn't keep her eyes off James. She had spotted Severus staring at her, staring at James at one point and it made her uneasy. She wished he would stop looking at her and judging every move she made. Lily sat between Georgia, who seemed to be having a great time with Remus, and Evelyn who seemed to be continually wondering about Mary. Again the first year called out to them. Giving in, they both left their seats and followed her down the old wooden stairs. Once they reached the bottom the first year told them what was wrong and Lily felt the colour leave her face.

Sirius saw it and would never forget it, the look of sheer relief on James' face. Now everything would be okay. It was like a weight had been lifted and he knew the whole team felt it. The Gryffindor stands cheered as Benjy Williams held up the tiny golden Snitch from the ground. It was a race between him and the Hufflepuff Seeker. Both were flying towards the ground with incredibly speed but Benjy was able to pull up and catch the Snitch while the Hufflepuff crashed into the sand under the hoops. The Gryffindor team surrounded Benjy, cheering and patting him on the back.

"This is for Watkins." Benjy said to the team, looking at James for approval.

"For Watkins." He nodded. The team left the pitch and headed for the change rooms while the other Gryffindor's continued to chant and cheer in the stands.

Something was wrong. He hadn't been able to spot her during the game but then again it had been a very quick paced one. They had been down in the changing rooms for at least ten minutes now and she still wasn't here. The team made their way back to the castle after quick showers and still he could not find her. They reached the large entrance doors and Evelyn came out of nowhere as if she had apparated right into the crowd.

"Ben! Ben!" Without saying anything she violently grabbed his arm and pulled him through the crowd. His heart began to beat faster as it was clear now that something was terribly wrong. Ben turned his head around and saw that James and Sirius were keeping close. Soon they were out of the crowd and Ben knew where they were headed. The hospital wing. It was all a blur as the sickly white double doors were pushed open. A group of people stood around one bed. The euphoria of winning their first Quidditch match of the season had died instantly within the three boys.

Lily turned around and Ben's heart skipped at her pale frightened face. He replaced her spot as she stepped away. Mary lay silently and still and the bed. Her eyes were closed and she, like Lily, was extremely pale. Ben heard the faint sound of Professor McGonagall ushering everybody else out of the room. A tear, which no one could ever see, fell from Ben's cheek. The soft rise and fall of Mary's chest was the only positive about this situation. He bent over and buried his head into her neck and cried more silent tears.

"Wood." He heard McGonagall's voice, kissed Mary on the forehead then composed himself. "It was the Cruciatus Curse." Ben's eyes widened with anger, "She will be fine. The caster was nowhere near talented enough to cause any severe damage."

"She doesn't look fine!"

"Pomfrey has given her some draught to help her sleep. Wood, you must understand, Mary would have been in severe pain for possibly less than ten seconds." To Ben, this was ten seconds too long. "The main problem for Mary is how she will psychologically recover." Ben nodded.

"It was them wasn't it?" Ben searched McGonagall's pained face for an answer.

"We don't know who it was. You mustn't retaliate and just attack every Slytherin or Voldemort supporter." McGonagall stressed her words but knew that they had no real effect on Ben.

"But you're not denying it was the exact people that we both know very well who would have done this." Ben challenged.

"No."

"Right." Ben kissed Mary's cheek and jumped up onto the bed next to her. McGonagall had left and they were the only two in the room. Hours must have passed as Ben drifted in and out of sleep. He watched Mary as she started to move around. At first he thought she was going to wake up but then she stopped completely and a tear rolled down her cheek. This was the last straw for Ben. Furiously he ran up to the Gryffindor dormitory. He wasn't sure what he would achieve there but that's just where his feet led him. Everyone was celebrating in the common room, still completely oblivious to what was happening. Ben pushed his way through the crowds, ignoring the pats on his back and ran up the steps skipping every second one. With more frustration he pushed open the door to his dormitory and was happy with what he saw. Once he caught the eye contact of the other Gryffindor he knew that this was actually what he wanted to the whole time.

James had been waiting. He knew Ben and he knew that he would soon come back to their room after a few hours. James was alone as he stood in the dormitory with his arms crossed and he could tell as soon as Ben saw him that he was relieved.

"I should be able to prevent these things. Keep her safe… Isn't that what all this is for!" Ben gestured around the room, "All this so-called power and nobility!" James watched as Ben walked back and forth. They were no longer the two little rascals that would play up at piano lessons. "All I wanted was to be able to protect her! To keep her safe."

James bowed his head, "You didn't know."

"But I should have! I should know everything that is going on. I should be looking out for these things. It's a fucking war and I should be taking extra care of her. She's Muggle-born, I shouldn't even be letting her walk around alone." Ben ran his sweaty hands through his hair in anger. "What if she died? Or what if one day I'm not there and… and."

"Ben, it's not your fault."

"But we would always walk to Quidditch together! It's my fault I didn't wait for her." He stopped his pacing and looked at James gravely, "Once we're out of here, out of this bloody castle, I'll get them back. They'll be sorry they ever even thought about cursing her." James simply nodded at his friend whose eyes were full of rage. Ben was satisfied with James' agreement for revenge. This was what he needed. He needed James to say that they will fight against this and with James' nod he felt calmer. "Right, I need to see if she's okay for the night."

"I'll come too."

They were almost at the hospital wing when they meet Lily. Her face was red and tear stained as she stopped at the boys. Ben looked at her once then continued onto the hospital wing. Lily watched him go then turned to James, his expression was unreadable again and Lily hated it.

"I can't believe this has happened." Her voice was hoarse from crying and she wanted nothing more than for James to just hold her. He didn't say anything to her so she continued, "I mean, this is Hogwarts and it was Mary. Who would..?"

"Why are you surprised by all of this?" James' hazel eyes narrowed behind his glasses and Lily was taken aback. She had not expected his harsh tone.

"Because James! I didn't expect it to happen to someone so close to me," James smirked cruelly at this and Lily knew that he had once thought the same thing before his father died, "nor did I believe it would ever happen in Hogwarts." She crossed her arms in defence and leaned against the wall of the cold dimly lit stone corridor. The sun had set on the day and now they had to face the night. No one was around it was just them, Lily and James.

"Are you serious? These are your people. Your side! Didn't you ever imagine that they would eventually act?" James gaped at Lily. He began to realise where this argument would end and it was inevitable. He wouldn't back down until it was through though, no matter how the ending would be he wanted Lily to know, to realise and most importantly to wake up. She was silent for a moment, feeling slightly irresponsible for not foreseeing this then his words ran through her mind one more time and she looked into his eyes with anything but remorse.

"My people? You think this is my fault!" Lily completely forgot about Sirius' warning. How could she not take this personally? James was attacking the most sensitive part of her.

"I think you could have prevented it, yes."

"And how on earth could have I done that! I have nothing to do with them and you know that, damn it!"

"Well perhaps considering they're on the same side as your whole family you should be more in tune with what they are planning." James suggested.

"Are you giving Sirius this same speech?" She tilted her head cockily.

"What does Sirius have to do with this?" James pulled up his sleeves halfway as he began to grow hot from the argument.

"His family is the same as mine. Why couldn't he have prevented what happened to Mary?"

"Sirius has nothing to do with his family. Not for a long time but you still see yours."

"James," Her voice lowered, "I am on your side of this war." It almost sounded like a plea for forgiveness, for his reconsideration. It was one last attempt to try and save the argument. They could finish it now, she thought, they could just drop it and try to get back to where they were before Friday.

"Oh, it's not my side it's just the _right_ side." He heard the weakness in her voice now and soon everything would fall down around them. Lily's heart dropped at his words.

"You sound just like them." She stepped off the wall and moved closer to James. "Just like the people you hate. You're all the same." Her voice was light and she shook her head sadly holding James' stare as she looked up at him. "You all believe that you are the right side and you will all go too far to prove it. You are all as bad as each other, all the same." They could tell from the look in each other's eyes that it was over. As they stood steady everything they had built within a few days crashed around them, such a shame, such a waste.

"Good luck, Evans." James didn't move, he contemplated whether he should leave her alone or see her back to the head dorms to make sure she was safe.

"You too, Potter." There was a slight stare off, as if in a sick way they were savouring this moment where they were so physically close to one another. James made his decision.

"I'll be with the boys tonight." He took one last look and turned to walk into the darkness at the end of the corridor, she would be safe. Lily watched him leave her again with his hands in his pockets and head bowed. Her heart hurt and everything suddenly grew cold. She held her breath as she recounted the conversation in her head. Why had she done that and why had he accused her so? Without waiting around any longer Lily headed for the Head Dorms alone.

Not a leaf moved on the Hogwarts grounds not a single movement could be seen in the trees. The lake was flat only slightly lapping at the sides, but only slightly. The corridors and empty classrooms within the castle were just that, empty and silent. The chairs and tables stood patiently in the usually loud Great Hall waiting for the sun to rise and students to pour in. All the candles were out and it was up to the moon to shine the slightest steric of light through the windows and onto the peacefully sleeping students. The owlery, too, was still as the owls rested for the night on high beams with their chins tucked into their thick feathery chests and small beady eyes shut tight. The portraits that hung proudly on the walls were sleeping as well, tired after a day of adventures and activity. Ben Wood watched silently as Mary slept with her head on his chest, he wouldn't sleep that night.

He walked quickly through the Gryffindor common room, up the stairs and into his old dormitory.

"James?" Sirius stood up and Remus looked at the new comer. James just stared at them. Remus nodded at Sirius who then followed James out through the castle and onto the grounds where they would run, as Prongs and Padfoot, until they could no longer breathe.

Lily Evans dragged her feet into the Head's dark common room and threw her wand carelessly onto the armchair. Her breathing was heavy and uneven and she kicked off her shoes as she let her feet take her to the small hallway where, instead of turning into her own room, she opened the door to James'. Without caring anymore she walked into the warm room she had so named Pandora's Box. It smelt like him, a woody smell and she instantly felt close to him again. She shut the door behind her, feeling James' school tie hanging on the knob. Her throat became tight in a way that it hurt. Her hands began to shake slightly and tears brimmed in her green eyes. School books lay strewn across the floor and she stepped over them carefully in her opaque stockings. A few items of clothing accompanied the books, '_Is he as much as a mess in here as he was back in the dorms?_' Mary's words ran through Lily's mind. She couldn't believe it had only taken a week until their family issues got in the way. She found an old photo frame on the bedside table and James' family smiled at her from their front lawn with Avebury Manor, their summer house, standing brilliantly behind them. Lily picked out James' dad with the dimmest light from the moon and her heart broke.

The first salty tear rolled down her cheek, she wiped it away with frustration. The bed was unmade and all she wanted to do was lie in it with James. But he was gone. She gently picked up the mask he had worn to the party and breathed a shaky breath. More tears dared to fall and she sat the mask back down. Lily threw her head back in frustration, as if forcing the tears back, and wiped the stray hairs that were sticking to her face away. She walked on the books now no longer caring and opened the first half drawer on James' dresser. It was dark in the room but she saw it as clear as day. She picked it up running the silk through her fine fingers. Unable to support herself anymore Lily leant against the wall and clenched the deep red sash in her hot sweaty hands. She slid down the wall and landed on the ground with her knees pulled up to her chin.

Her face was wet now with tears and she didn't bother to hold it in. She let it out, let out the disappointment, the anger, the reality of her life. Lily cried into the sash, wetting it with her salty tears. She let her legs down, kicking a textbook that sat innocently in the way. Her eyes stung as the tears slowed down and her breathing lowered, shaking with every deep inhale. She sat there holding the sash for some time in the dark room. Staring at nothing, she thought only of the boy who owned the room. She had let him get to her. Get to her heart. She let herself fall for the charms she was warned of at high teas with her mother. She let herself only feel alive when he was around. She let herself, for tonight, crawl over to the bed, climb into it and pull up the covers. She let herself breath in James Potter and to pretend that he was lying behind her. She held onto the red sash and allowed herself to cry to sleep with only one small thing left, hope.

* * *

><p>Now, don't kill me. And I hope you all got the link between James' room being Pandora's Box and the last word in the chapter, <em>hope<em>.


	8. The Thin Line Between Fine and Not Fine

Hi hi! Sorry this chapter had taken awhile. I've been incredibly busy and I actually got caught up with writing the final chapter and left this one alone for awhile! I was incredibly happy with the response on the last chapter :) to the reviewers I can't reply to - Me: Yes... how did you know? However, it has now completely changed and the only similarity is the basic outline. JasminePotter93 - Thank you thank you thank you for your kind words! I'm was so happy after reading them :D. Ellie - I'm so happy that one of my chapters can make you feel all of those emotions! I think it'll be the same in this one. Bunny - I'm glad you love the story! And no message for Louise! Which makes me very happy. So this is the chapter I've been pestered for, it was all supposed to happen in the next one but then I decided to put in here just for you guys who couldn't wait for the particular scene.

Listened to El Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge while writing the final scene months ago but now I'm not so sure if it goes so well. Nevertheless - read and report back!

* * *

><p>"I tell you the things I could tell no one else, you remain unfazed."<p>

...

James Potter was rowing down the river at Avebury. He wasn't trying very hard and if Henry saw he'd probably give him a hard time. The sun burnt his shoulders through his shirt and turned the long grass on the sides of the river yellow. He turned to see if the house was coming up and it was. Within a few more strokes he reached the old wooden dock, jumped out and pulled the boat up onto the grass along with the oars. Then, as he usually did, he went onto the dock and laid down with his feet just touching the water over the edge. A strong breeze came up providing relief against the sun. Someone walked onto the dock and caused the wood to creak. They blocked the sun from James for one second before jumping off the end causing water to hit him. Quickly, he sat up and watched the person swim back to the bank and walk down the dock again but instead of jumping off they sat beside him.

"What are you doing?" She asked, leaning back on her hands with the water dripping from every part of her. The short navy dress stuck to her skin but was drying quickly in the blazing sun.

"I was rowing."

"Rowing? James Potter the rower," she put her head back with a smile.

"And what about you, Lily Evans, what are you doing?" James looked at her while she still had her eyes shut.

"I was looking for you." She opened her eyes and smiled at him then laid down with her feet skimming the water like James'. "Lay down, the war is over you don't have to look out anymore." He felt her pull him down by his arm.

James turned his head so he could watch her. She just laid there so peacefully with her eyes shut and a small smile on her lips. Lily caught him and laughed, "What is wrong?" She rolled onto her side so she laid half on James. She kissed his lips softy, "It's over, James. It's all over."

He felt her hand run down his cheek then through his hair. Another warm breeze washed over them carrying white fluffy dandelion seeds with it. James picked a couple out of Lily's hair as she rested her head on his chest. It really was all over and now here they were alone at Avebury on the old wooden dock surrounded by the long yellow grass moving in the breeze. Nothing had ever felt so light and peaceful.

* * *

><p>His eyes fluttered open and he immediately felt cold. The room was still dark and his legs hurt from running the night before. Slowly he rolled off his old bed and put on Sirius' thick woollen jumper. The sky outside was changing from black to blue as the light from the sun was nearing Hogwarts from the other side of the mountains. The stars were disappearing one by one with the night sky. James thought about his dream. The simplicity of it all. He was jealous of them, the couple in his dream. He had never seen Lily like that in real life and he hadn't felt the way he did in the dream for a long time. Lightly sighing to himself he left the Gryffindor Dormitory with his hands dug into his pockets against the cold.<p>

He thought about Lily and their mistake. The dream had given him an idea though. She wouldn't agree at first but they needed it. James reached the Head Dormitory and made his way straight for Lily's room. He opened the door silently and walked in. The bed was unmade and empty and his heart dropped. James straight away imagined that she also stayed in the Gryffindor Dormitory last night. So he went to her closet and pulled out her heaviest coat, her gloves with the little bows on the ends, her scarf and boots. With all of this in hand, James then went into his own room and almost dropped it all. He smiled sadly as he carefully put it all down and made his way to his bed.

Seeing Lily in his room gave James a feeling he couldn't describe. She had chosen to seek refuge in his room. She wanted to be surrounded by his things after their fight. Gently, he knelt by the side of the bed and pulled his red sash out of Lily's hands and placed it on his bedside table. She stirred at the movement, James kissed her cheek lightly and her eyes fluttered open.

"Come with me." He whispered into her ear. Lily's eyes widened at the realisation of where she was and who was kneeling in front of her. Her mouth opened to speak but James beat her, "Just follow me, please."

He pulled her out of bed and she stood groggily with one hand on his shoulder as he put on her boots and her coat. She frowned at him confused but was too tired to ask anything as he wrapped her scarf around her neck securely. Then he put on her gloves and she stood slightly swaying from side to side as James found his own gloves and a heavier coat. He smiled at Lily who looked as if she put on a lot of extra weight due to her bulky winter clothes.

They didn't have much time so he grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs behind the portrait to get to the Entrance Hall. Lily followed him down the slope on the Hogwarts grounds with her hands tucked into her coat pockets and a frown still on her face. Their footprints were visible in the sleet that covered the ground and their breaths produced a small fog in the snap cold air. Finally, they reached James' destination. It was a large rock, not Lily's, on the edge of the lake.

James conjured and laid out a blanket and Lily, without saying anything, sat on it. James sat next to her and smiled again at Lily's red cheeks and nose. She pulled her wand out and conjured another blanket. She wrapped it around both of them so they were pulled in together. They watched in silence as the sunlight was slowly beginning to come out from behind the mountains.

"I had this strange dream last night." James broke the silence. Lily now had her head resting on James' shoulder.

"Was I in it?"

"Yes, it was summer and we were at Avebury. I was rowing and you jumped off the dock into the river. Then we both laid on the dock in the sun and there was this perfect warm breeze. The war was over and you were so relaxed and you kept telling me to calm down and that everything was over. It was just us and there was nothing to worry about."

"It sounds too perfect. Were we alive or dead?" The question made James move suddenly and Lily lifted her head off his shoulder to face him.

"We… we were alive and the war was over." James didn't know why he felt as if he had to prove this. Lily just shrugged and looked out onto the lake where the fog was disappearing.

"What about us, are we over?" Lily rested her head in her hand and continued to watch the light overcoming the mountains.

"It was always going to happen, a fight between us due to our backgrounds."

"That doesn't mean it is okay."

"It doesn't but it was inevitable. Perhaps it will happen again, perhaps not," James wished that Lily would look at him but she didn't. "I wanted you to know that what happened to Mary is to be expected now. Nothing will be easy or safe from now on."

"And so you did that by making me responsible for what happened to her?"

"That was mistake. Lily –"

"You don't have to apologise," she finally faced him, "I needed it. I wish it hadn't happened but I think I needed someone close to me to get hurt. Or maybe even myself would have been better. Everything around me has been fine. No one I know or am close to has died or has been cursed and now that it has happened, things are different. And… I need you." She looked out at the lake again. "I can't do this without you. You don't always have to be there but, _God_, don't leave me alone."

James wrapped his arm around Lily and pulled her in closer so she put her head back on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head but said nothing more.

They stayed like that for a while longer until the fog had almost completely disappeared from around the castle. "We should go before someone see's us and I need to visit Mary before breakfast." Lily stood up and stretched her arms then helped James up. "Thank you for bringing me out here." She rose up to kiss him lightly then started walking. The sun had melted the frost on the grass now but it was still freezing. Both walked beside each other with their gloved hands in their pockets.

"Do want to come and see Mary with me?" Lily asked when they reached the Entrance Hall.

"Sure." They continued onto the hospital wing and James heard Lily's sharp intake of breath when they saw Mary awake. Lily ran over and hugged Mary while James sat on the bed next to her.

"What are you two doing up so early?" Mary asked looking at them both. "Lily, you look fat."

"You don't look so great yourself. How are you?" James watched as Lily perfectly dodged the question and sat on Mary's bed.

"My back is incredibly sore. That's where it hit," she fell silent as she thought about it all. "It was like a lightning strike. I was about to put up my umbrella then they cursed me and the pain…" Lily found Mary's hand and glanced over at James who was staring at Mary with his brow furrowed.

"You don't have to tell us, Mary," Lily stopped her. Truthfully she didn't want to know any more. She could imagine how it all happened and Mary seemed too pained to retell.

"Has Ben spoken to you?" Mary asked James.

"Yeah, last night," James answered simply.

"He thinks it was his fault. I know he thought he could use his nobility to keep a Muggle-born like me safe." Mary looked at James again but he bowed his head.

"It doesn't matter. You are safe now and it won't happen again." Lily squeezed Mary's hand. At that moment Ben walked in with a new set of clothes for Mary.

"Hey, what are you guys doing up so early on a Sunday?" Ben placed some casual clothes for Mary on the end of the bed that James sat on.

"We had a meeting with Dumbledore," James lied.

"Oh, sounds like fun," Ben said sarcastically and James smiled.

"We should get going anyway," Lily gave Mary another hug and looked at James expectantly. "Coming?"

"Yeah, yeah," James jumped off the bed and started to follow Lily out. "Oh, Mary, will you be out of here by tomorrow?" The thought had just struck him.

"I should be let out today, why?" Mary asked and everyone watched James.

"Just curious, you don't want to spend too long in here. Before you know it the crazy students will start coming in and you don't want to be here when they are." James answered with reference to the Marauders. The full moon was tomorrow and it would be very awkward for Remus to be in here the same time as Mary. He said nothing more and just left with Lily behind him.

"They're together." Mary said simply watching the door close.

"So there was never a meeting with Dumbledore?"

"No," Mary shook her head, "they would have been off doing something while everybody is sleeping. I bet you."

"James..." Ben sighed and bowed his head, "_idiot_," he whispered to himself.

* * *

><p>It landed on the table next to her plate, which was covered in toast crumbs, an off white envelope with the Evans family crest seal. It was the second letter that she had received from home since school returned and it was now November. Lily pushed her long hair behind her ears and casually looked around to see if any other Noble family students had received a letter. James was talking casually to his friends including Sirius. Ben was with two sixth year Hufflepuff's who were also from Noble Families and Severus was nowhere to be seen. She searched for a couple of others in lower years and none of them had a letter. This meant that it was personal and there wasn't about to be some boring gathering.<p>

Lily tore the seal and pulled out the letter. It was from her father.

_Lily,_

_We have arranged for you to come home this Friday night and spend the weekend here with us. There will be some very important visitors that we must entertain. Your mother and I hope that you are well and are enjoying Head Duties. _

"Is everything okay?" Evelyn asked Lily from across the table.

"Looks like I'm going home this weekend." Lily folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope.

"What! Why?"

"No idea. We're having guests, that's all dad said. _How informative_," Lily said sarcastically and picked some grapes out of a fruit bowl.

"Well, he was never a man of many words." Evelyn thought back on the first time she met Lord Evans. Not a pleasant experience but she did get off easier than Mary because she was half-blood.

"Thank Merlin for that." Lily said and Evelyn nodded in agreement.

...

"It was you, wasn't it!" Sirius approached a large group on the first floor on his way down to potions. Students from every house crowded around two other students. Easily, he pushed his way through and was admittedly not surprised to see Ben Wood holding Severus Snape up against the wall with his wand pointed at his throat.

"I didn't do anything to your precious little girlfriend," Snape spoke in a strained voice. His eyes narrowed as he noticed Sirius now standing behind Ben.

"Of course you did! Why wouldn't it be you and your measly friends?" Ben shouted.

Curiously, Sirius asked a bystander if she knew what had happened to Ben's 'precious girlfriend'. The girl shook her head and shrugged. This action was repeated by the few other people he asked and with that he decided his next move. As much as he wanted to see Ben curse Snape, because it would have been good, Mary didn't deserve this information to get out.

"Ben," Sirius said in a firm voice causing the Gryffindor to step back from Snape. "I don't think Mary would like it if these people found out why you are doing this."

"They know! Everyone in this school knows everything."

"They don't know. No one knows."

"Well then they can watch without knowing," Ben said in hurry, eager to get back to Snape.

"That's not how it works. What's stopping that slime ball from saying it in defence or for someone to make up a rumour as to why you are fighting him?" Sirius couldn't believe the words he was saying. It was so out of character but he knew Mary would appreciate it.

"You're lucky this time, Snape. But wait until school is out," Ben snapped and turned to walk away.

"The Mud-blood deserved whatever she got," Snape mumbled at Ben and Sirius' backs.

Ben quickly turned with his wand ready but Snape had already been knocked to the ground with immense force from another student's wand. Peter stood off to the side with his wand held out and eyes wide.

"That should've been mine," Ben said in a low voice and walked off to potions.

Sirius stared at Peter as the crowd dispersed and Snape stalked off, "May I ask why?"

Peter pocketed his wand and began walking along with Sirius, "He shouldn't use that word."

"I thought you two were friends," Sirius tested. He was impressed but it hardly made sense.

"It was a short-lived phase that I regret. I shouldn't have even attempted risking my friendship with you guys. I betrayed Lily after the ball and it was then I realised that I need to stop everything with Snape," Peter explained. He been thinking about Lily, she had lied to him but he had thought about it and decided that it made them equal. He had spilled information about her and Snape and she had lied straight to his face about her and James. He would keep what he saw a secret and just lie low for the time being.

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Ben didn't seem too happy about what I did though."

"He'll get over it. I think he was so set on hurting Snape himself that he's a bit annoyed that you got to and he didn't."

"Oh," Peter nodded, "ready for tonight?"

"Think so," Sirius shrugged, "James is all set so everything seems to be good. Yourself?"

"Yeah, I did extra homework last night so I wouldn't fall behind."

"You're really making up for the last few months, aren't you?" Sirius looked down at Peter as they almost reached the classroom.

"I'm trying."

...

"Sirius?" James collapsed onto his old bed after dinner. Sirius was already laid out on his waiting till they would go out and join Remus while Peter finished some extra work down in the common room.

"Hmm?"

"Do I sound like them? Like the Evans', Malfoy's, Snape's… _Black's_?" James asked not sure if was making any sense.

"What do mean?" Sirius furrowed his brow, confused as to where such a question came from.

"I mean do I sometimes make out that Dumbledore's side of the war is the best –"

"It is! You're not thinking of following Voldemort, are you?" Sirius laughed.

"No," James sighed exasperatedly and sat up, "do I sound too cocky about it? Like I'm so mighty and powerful and if you don't believe what I believe then you are wrong, kind of thing?"

Sirius sat up now too, "James, are you serious? You're getting confused. Of course everybody believes that their side is the right side. Otherwise they wouldn't be on it. You've been put into this leader role; it's what comes with being born into your type of family. The Potter's are up there when it comes to being leaders. Sure, sometimes it might get to your head but overall, Prongs, you don't sound like them."

Lily's words still rang through James' mind. "Dad made it look so easy. He was always so sure and he never sounded arrogant about it."

"You're not your dad, James." Sirius didn't know how many times he would have to say this throughout his lifetime. It never seemed to stick in James' mind. "You have to stop comparing. The times are different anyway." There was a moments silence between them, each in their own individual thoughts.

"It's getting close, isn't it?" James looked out the window and thought about Remus down in the Shrieking Shack before returning his gaze back to Sirius. He knew he didn't have to specify his question. Sirius always knew.

"I would say it's already here," Sirius faced James and saw a frightened look flash across his face. It disappeared almost as quick as it came and Sirius knew that no one else would ever see it. James only ever demonstrated such weakness, as one could say, in front of Sirius. His hidden fear and worry about the war was only known by Sirius and Remus. It was hard to explain, James wasn't scared of a battle as such, it was just the uncertainty of it all. He always wanted to know what would happen and when.

None of them knew what to expect and they were all still coming to terms with the fact that people will die. As in, you can never see, speak to or hear these people again. Then there was the chance that one of them could die. The death of a Marauder was unimaginable but as days and months went on, it was becoming highly possible.

"Ben's eager to fight." James said after another silence.

"Rightfully so after what happened on the weekend." Sirius stood up and stretched out his arms. "You can't say that you haven't felt a single urge to fight Snivellus after what he did to Evans. In the forest _and_ after the ball, I mean. Imagine if someone put the Cruciatus Curse on her. What would you do?"

"Can we not use her as an example?" James said firmly.

"Well I don't see why not. It's practically the same you both love each other."

James stood up too now to make his point, "One, I do not _love_ Lily nor does she _love_ me. Two –"

"Oh, that is absolute bullshit, James! Why would you risk everything to secretly shag her or whatever else you two are doing if you didn't love her? And Lily does plenty to prove that she loves you." He picked up the Invisibility Cloak and followed James to the door as he spoke.

"Two… I cannot bear the thought of Lily suffering the Cruciatus Curse. I can't handle that, so please, do not use her as an example." James stopped at the door to give Sirius a pointed look and then continued on to collect Peter.

...

James somehow managed to take off his clothes and put his pyjama pants on before collapsing onto his bed. Tonight had been actually quite fun. Remus was calm and they roamed the Hogwarts grounds carefree. James had only received a slight scratch from Remus at the start and he would tend to that later. He was far too tired to perform any sort of magic at the moment. Feeling like he was being watched, James opened his eyes to see Lily standing at his door in the dimmest of morning lights.

"You haven't been waiting up all night have you?" James asked from his bed feeling an inability to move.

"No, of course not," Lily lied. She slowly walked in and sat at the edge of James' bed. "Did everything go okay?" She spoke in a small tired voice.

James moved, painfully, to hold her arm and pull her back to lie down with him, "It did."

Lily sat up again to pull the blankets over them, "Did Remus do that?" She looked at the bloody scratch on James' leg.

"Don't worry about it." James now had his eyes shut, unable to hold them open for any longer.

"I can fix it now if you want?" Lily waited for an answer but it never came. She turned around to see that James was asleep. Quietly she crept back into her room to fetch her wand. Easily she healed the scratch and put her wand next to James' on the bedside table.

"Thanks," James breathed and Lily crawled back into bed with him. She gave him a quick kiss before curling up with James behind her.

Within minutes she could tell from his heavy even breathing that James was asleep once more. Lily could not help but be truly amazed at what Sirius, Peter and James did for Remus. She could not imagine herself getting up in a few hours to attend classes. Sure, she had had very little sleep tonight as well but she hadn't been running around with a werewolf either. James was completely exhausted and the night she had been out there because of Snape came back into her mind.

Lily could never have understood how James would have felt that night. She thought about how drained he was now and she felt guilty for once putting extra stress on top of that. She felt guilt for yelling at him and accusing him of things. For cursing him in a way that would have caused severe pain and she knew there was still a scar.

James moved and his arm tightened around Lily. Her heavy eyes would soon betray her and she would fall asleep. Lily wished that she could feel all of this while sleeping. That she could feel James' arm around her, as if he was claiming her his or protecting her.

"I don't want to go home, James." She whispered the thought that had been dwelling in her mind since that morning. She still hadn't told James and he had no response for her now. In the quietness that followed her words Lily shut her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Done!" Evelyn dropped her quill and threw her hands up in the air.<p>

"It wasn't so hard in the end was it?" Noah fell back into his chair and smiled at the relieved Gryffindor.

"Well, I'm glad we had Lily to help us. That really made a difference."

"True."

"Thanks for being such a good partner. Normally group work is horror," Evelyn began packing her bag while Noah didn't move. "Do you want me to hand it in or are you right to do it?"

"I'll take it to class tomorrow, that's fine," Noah shifted awkwardly, "what are you doing now?"

"Oh, I have to meet up with Mary and see how she's going. It must have been a very boring day in our dorm."

"I guess," Noah tried not to look too crestfallen.

"Thanks again and I'll see you tomorrow." Evelyn waved goodbye and left the library.

Noah ran his hands over his short brown hair and let out a deep breathe. He hadn't had much to do with girls and spending time with Evelyn made him incredibly nervous. The way small little strands of hair fell into her blue eyes and the way she drew little pictures when she was bored, made his heat jump just a little. He couldn't sleep the night after night the ball where they had danced together with her friends. The memory played on repeat through his mind until the early hours.

"Hey," Remus sat down next to Noah and picked up the essay, "all finished?"

"Yeah, Evelyn's happy," Noah sat up straight again.

"I bet." Remus handed back the paper and Noah folded it and placed it in his bag.

"Lupin?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Remus shrugged.

"Does Black… Does Sirius have something… Does he like Evelyn?" Noah felt so stupid but he had wanted to know since the ball. They had spent a lot of time together there and if there was something between them he would just except it and give up. Sirius Black was way more than Noah Burke and he would never even bother trying to compete.

"Sirius?" Remus was surprised, "definitely not."

"Are you sure?"

"I spend more than a healthy amount of time with that boy, I am positive. Why?"

"Just wondering," Noah tried to throw off the question. He quickly began to put his quills and belongings into his bag in the hope of making a quick and clean exit.

"Do you fancy her?" Remus asked with a funny smile on his face.

"No!" Noah spoke too soon, "I just… she's nice."

"She is, you'd be good for her." Remus contemplated while watching the sun break out of the clouds outside the large arch window.

"No, she would want someone like Sirius or James or you. Not someone who spends their time with books and who everyone thinks is a nerd."

"Well, she most definitely would not want Sirius after her last boyfriend cheated on her with Sirius' cousin. And doesn't every girl in this bloomin' castle want James? Mind you, if they really knew him," Remus shook his head clearly in his own thoughts, "I think they would run away really fast."

"Okay," Noah wasn't really sure where Remus was going with this.

"Back to the point, you should have a go. With Evelyn, that is, not James."

"It's okay, I have too many other things. Thanks anyway." Noah grabbed his bag and left the same way Evelyn did with Remus' words floating around in his mind. Did he really think that he, Noah, was good enough for Evelyn?

...

She was fine. She felt fine. She was fine. It wasn't completely dark yet as Mary trudged her way across the muddy Hogwarts grounds to the Quidditch pitch where the Gryffindor team were practicing. Today had been her first day back at school since the attack and everybody who knew about it had been extremely cautious of her. Even Sirius had been extra caring and gentle. Mary hated it. It wasn't like she had been under the curse for a great deal of time. It came quickly and went just as quick. In spite of herself Mary smirked with the thought that even _she_ could produce a better Cruciatus than that. As she approached the pitch she could hear James shouting at poor Benjy Williams. Mary shook her head, James could be such a pain and she hoped that Benjy would continue proving his worth. She climbed the stairs slowly then sat on an old wooden bench and watched. To her disappointment it wasn't long until practice was over.

Mary smiled and waved as Ben flew over and landed next to her. "Where is Lily?" He wore no smile and Mary quickly lost hers with the sight his expression.

"I don't know, studying?" Mary shrugged standing up and straightening out her cloak.

"Where is Evelyn?" Ben asked sternly.

"Probably with Lily, what does it matter?" Small wrinkles developed on Mary's forehead due to her confusion.

"So you came here alone?"

Mary sighed, realising what all this was about, "Ben, I'm more than capable. I'm fine! I don't need a half-blood or a pure-blood to escort me around."

"What if they do it again?" Ben continued to question. He couldn't believe that Mary had come out alone after what had happened.

"They won't."

"You don't know that."

"And you don't know that they will! I don't want to be treated like this, Ben," Mary grew frustrated with the situation. "I am not some incompetent first year."

"No, you're not but," Ben looked pained, he ran his hand down his face and continued, "you're Muggle-born and that is why they attacked you. I just want you to be safe."

Mary stepped closer to him, "I know but I'm fine."

"You don't understand. You don't know what it was like to fail so terribly at the only thing you wanted to do!" Ben began to grow restless and was thankful to see that the team had left the pitch.

"You didn't fail at anything," Mary said with a shiver. It was beginning to grow completely dark now and she could hear the crows flying above adding eeriness to the scene.

"I did! All I wanted was to be able to protect you from them because I knew that all of this was a possibility. I knew that you were a target and I wanted to do everything in my power including using my nobility to save you from it. Alas, it did not work so I have failed."

"Don't look at it that way," Mary blinked back a stay tear. She didn't know why it was there and she didn't want it to be there.

"I can't help but look at it that way, Mary, and now you've come out here alone…"

"I'm sorry!" She never meant to hurt him by coming out alone but at the same time she didn't need a guardian. "Can we just go back, have dinner and spend some time together?" She rubbed his shoulder with her hand but he didn't react.

"Let's see who is still in the change rooms." Ben walked down the stairs in front of Mary who was shivering. They reached the rooms and it was only James, Sirius, Benjy and Clare Hooper left. "Clare, can Mary go back to the castle with you?"

Mary's arms dropped to her sides, "What? She's a fourth year! No offence, Clare."

The young Keeper shrugged and finished packing her bags.

"You can't go back alone," Ben insisted. Mary, outraged, looked to Sirius and James for support but they said nothing.

Clare made her way to the door and waited to see what would happen. "I don't need to be babysat, Ben! I don't need protecting."

"You do and if you won't take it from me then by all means go out on your own." Ben turned his back and went into the showers leaving the rest standing awkwardly.

"Thanks for the help boys." Mary said in a low voice and with the crossing of her arms she marched out into the dark with Clare Hooper running behind.

By the time they made it to the castle dinner was beginning. Mary thanked Clare begrudgingly and sat down in her usual spot.

"Training didn't go well?" Evelyn asked.

"Well, apparently I wasn't even supposed to go unless one of you girls came with me," Mary stated in a huff.

"We would have come if you asked us to," Lily said while buttering some bread.

"No, I don't want you girls to come with me."

"Oh, okay," Lily retreated.

"It's not that, it's just, Ben didn't want me to go out alone. He wants there to be someone around me all the time to protect me because I'm Muggle-born." Mary stressed. She hated saying the facts out loud.

"You don't need protecting. Well, okay, I wouldn't let you go out in the corridors late at night but you're fine," Evelyn said.

"Exactly, I'm fine!" Mary held up her hands happy that someone finally agreed.

"That's true but I can see where he is coming from," Lily said, hoping Mary wouldn't bite her head off.

"I can too but it's too much. It was a one off and besides they wouldn't hit the same person twice would they?" Mary asked. Lily sent an uneasy look while Evelyn shrugged. "I don't think they would," Mary reassured herself.

"What about you and Ben now?" Evelyn asked as she watched the last of the Gryffindor Quidditch team make themselves comfortable at the table.

"What do you mean?"

"You had a fight about this, obviously, so are you two okay or?" Evelyn hoped that everything was okay. They were the most envied couple of their year and it would be a shame if a foolish curse broke them apart.

"I don't know," Mary looked down at her plate, "we should be fine. We're always fine." She waved off the problem that she had no energy to think about. They would be fine tomorrow. It was the same with every fight, after a good night's sleep the problem would simply go away. "So, have you found out why you are going home yet?" Mary asked Lily in the hope that the topic would just be forgotten.

...

"I don't know if I can keep up with your little after dinner whispers that drag me away from my friends to have sex with you, James Potter." Lily smiled and kissed James who laid underneath her.

"You love it. The way your face lights up when you see me walking towards you," he caressed her cheek, "and the way you mischievously walk out of the hall five minutes after me." James placed a hand under the side of her knickers and lightly traced his fingers back up her side. "It's all very cute. Then the way you kiss me when we meet in the hidden stairwell, like you've been waiting all day for it."

Lily smiled softly and kept eye contact with James as he talked about her and ran his fingers over her body. "Go on."

"Okay, then the way you just take my clothes off significantly faster each and every time. I love that. And we always seem to come into my room." James mused as if it were the first time he had realised this.

It was, in fact, a very deliberate action on Lily's behalf, "I like your room more. It's… sexier."

"Sexier?" James smiled at Lily's reason.

"And it's just different to my room," Lily shrugged.

James pulled up his head to kiss her, "You don't need reasons."

He slipped out from underneath her and went to the bathroom. Lily laid in the bed for a minute before seeing that James had not put away his red sash. Running with her high feelings she got up and put on her nightie, which was normally in James' room now, and then put on the sash. Lily moved to the mirror and smiled at her reflection. She twisted around to see what it looked like at all angles and imagined that she was someone who she wasn't.

"Merlin, what are you doing?" James re-entered with the largest grin on his face. Lily walked over to him, stopping half way to put on his top hat from the ball. Her long dark red hair covered the sides of her face in a messy way from underneath the hat.

"What do you think?" Lily spun around on one foot and a hand holding down the hat.

"I think my room just got a whole lot sexier," James shook his head in disbelief. He quickly picked up Lily, threw her over his shoulder and carried her to his bed where the sash would be removed along with her nightie and underwear in a very short timeframe.

* * *

><p>Remus sat next to Georgia for the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw study period which was being held in the Great Hall on a rainy Wednesday afternoon. She had her black hair tightly pulled back in a ponytail with the usual ribbon and was already writing down notes from her Ancient Runes book. Remus set his owns books up and waited until Professor Flitwick walked past them before talking to Georgia.<p>

"How are you?" He asked casually.

"I can't talk right now Remus, I'm studying. Maybe you should go and sit with your friends." She never looked up from her page as she spoke. Remus looked over to where Sirius, James and Peter sat. Peter was clearly attempting something while James and Sirius whispered to each other.

"I'm fine over here," Remus shrugged and began to watch Georgia intently. She held her quill tightly and her lips moved to the words she was saying in her head. She wrote faster than anyone Remus knew and he wondered if her wrist was sore yet. "When did it start?"

She finished her sentence before putting her quill down and massaging her wrist. "When did what start?"

"All of this," Remus gestured toward her work, "the anxiety."

"Stop!" Flitwick glanced over at them as well as James, who gave Remus a strange look. Georgia breathed out, "Remus, don't talk about it, don't worry about it, don't _anything_ about it," she whispered.

"I think you should talk about it," Remus refused to turn back to his work.

"But hasn't it just been nice _not_ talking about it? You got to witness me breaking down and I've been extremely grateful that we can hang out without you bringing it up. So please, don't start now," Georgia looked into Remus' blue eyes with her own.

"I think we should talk about it," Remus repeated.

"I will not talk about it," Georgia spoke through gritted teeth, "I'm taking medicine so I am fine. I don't need to talk about it. Besides, it's not your problem." She picked up her pen and tried to start writing again.

"I've made it my problem. I want it to be my problem because I think I could help you."

"You can't help me. Don't you think I've already tried everything?"

"No," Remus replied flatly.

"Really, what haven't I tried yet then? Please, do tell," Georgia faced him again with her eyebrows raised in anticipation.

"You haven't tried talking about it."

"Merlin, Remus," Georgia dropped her head and turned back to her work for good. She tried to write as she fought off a small smile. Remus was so direct and simple about everything. She was pleased to see that he had finally gotten into his own work. Occasionally she would look over and watch what he was doing. Remus had only written out one page while she had completed two.

"So, when should we talk about it? If I decide I want to, that is," Georgia asked after some thought.

"Not this week, I don't have time, maybe next week? Oh no, not then either."

"Remus, you're not serious are you?"

"No, no I'm not," Georgia gently nudged him playfully, "Whenever you like," Remus finished, avoiding eye contact with Georgia. She went back to her work and Remus caught James watching again. He looked down to his page and saw the word _cute_ written in James' handwriting a few lines below his own.

Remus smirked to himself, _shut up_.

...

Severus Snape watched the same routine happen again from the Slytherin House table. Potter finishing his meal before the rest of his friends – oh surprise! – instead of whispering into his Lily's ear, tonight he just grazed her back with his hand as he walked past. Creative boy, thought Severus. Potter left and Lily, uncreatively, left five minutes later. Even though he knew better it made him cringe with hate. Severus wasn't stupid, he knew it was downright envy, but he needn't worry for much longer. After this weekend she would know and she would be his and all would be perfect. He imagined Lily sitting at the Slytherin table for lunches. Oh, how that would torture Potter.

Severus was also beginning to make another plan which would cause immense pain for Potter. It would soon be December and Severus felt he had a piece of information that Potter would like to know about. It would destroy him. A smile played on Severus' lips as he thought about how it would all unfold. Potter could act all fine about what was about to happen but once Severus let slip his information he, Potter, wouldn't be able to recover. He wouldn't be cool, calm and collected in public anymore. It would be the downfall of a hero. His Quidditch would suffer and so would his team. No more Quidditch hero for Gryffindor.

But that wasn't the worst part of the inevitable upcoming December downfall. Potter would also be alienated. The two people Severus believed he was closest to, Lily and Sirius, would no longer be so close. They too knew the same information as Severus and he didn't think it was fair to Potter that they could go on with their being friends all while they knew.

Severus smirked, but all that was yet to come. Friday he would leave, one hour before Lily. She would have no idea that he had also gone home. Tomorrow, Thursday, would be their last night together. He could handle that. Just.

* * *

><p>"You don't have to change the whole patrol schedule for one person, you know." James walked up to stand beside Lily as the last Prefect left the room. He ran his hand down her back lightly making her stop organising the papers.<p>

"Others have complained as well, it's not a problem. I can do it when I go home." Lily mumbled and went back to sorting out her pile of minutes and suggestion letters.

"Home?"

"Yes, home." Lily hadn't told him yet, however, today was Thursday and tomorrow she was leaving for the weekend so she had to let it drop. "I'm leaving tomorrow after classes. It's only for the weekend, nothing major."

"When were you going to tell me this?" James put his hand down on the papers so Lily would stop fidgeting. She sighed and finally faced him. He could immediately tell by the look in her eyes that this was something she was not looking forward to. There was fear mixed with dread and in response he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "It'll be okay."

Lily stepped closer to him and a knocking sound was made from the other side of the room. Both Gryffindor's jumped at the sound and turned to see Dumbledore standing at the door.

"Lily, may I have a word?" The old Professor asked.

"Sure," Lily lightly cleared her throat, "ahh, right."

"Right, I'll be off then." James gave Dumbledore a quick nod before passing him and shutting the door.

"I apologise for not having much contact with you and James since the beginning of term. I hope you will forgive me?" Dumbledore walked further into the room to take a seat.

"It's okay, there hasn't been any problems so…" Lily shrugged feeling uneasy as she stood at the front of the room and Dumbledore sat at a desk.

"Of course not, I knew I put the Head positions in more than capable hands," Lily smiled at the old wizard. "About tomorrow," Dumbledore's voice changed into something much more serious than previously. "I will meet you in the Entrance Hall at five to escort you down to Hogsmeade."

"Do you know why I am going home?" It slipped out before Lily could realise what she had said.

Dumbledore frowned and a cloud of sadness shadowed his crystal blue eyes, "I am afraid I cannot tell you why, Lily."

"Something bad is going to happen, isn't it?" A nervous tightening could be felt in Lily's stomach as she stood incredibly still.

"One must always try to find the light in such situations. Difficult situations are created to make us stronger. Sometimes they test us in ways we never imagined possible." The old wizard paused for a moment, running his long fingers over an engraving on the wooden desk. "How are you and James?"

"Fine," Lily shrugged again, her mind was replaying Dumbledore's last words over and over. What could possibly be happening?

She could just see that Dumbledore was smiling as he focused on another engraving, "You care for him, don't you?"

Lily remained stunned as Dumbledore slowly stood up and walked towards the door. "I guess?"

"Well, I can't imagine anyone following someone else out into the frozen grounds of Hogwarts unless they cared for them. Could you?"

Lily's eyes widened, "No, Professor. I couldn't."

Dumbledore smiled kindly and left Lily alone, still stunned.

"I was hoping you would be here." Dumbledore didn't smile at James and the Gryffindor did not smile back. "I think we should visit my office."

Not a word was said until the thick wooden door was closed and Fawkes had finished chirping in delight after seeing James, an old friend. It was only then that James had realised that he hadn't been here since his father died and that he had seen significantly less of Dumbledore since then. James didn't sit like Dumbledore did; he rather just stood behind the spare chair and leant on it.

The Headmaster studied James through his half-moon spectacles then sat up straight to begin, "You must end it now."

James snapped back into attention, "Excuse me?"

"Finish it _now_," Dumbledore said firmly.

"Finish what, my Transfiguration essay or…"

"I think we've past the joking years. I thought they had ended when your father passed away."

"My father didn't _pass away_, he was murdered. And I, most honestly, have no idea what you want me finish."

"I want you to finish things with Lily Evans," James looked straight at Dumbledore without hesitation. The Professor noted that this was something Lily should learn from James, she gave too much away in a single glance.

He could have denied it but what use would that be? He could have given some great testament. He could have made a refusal and stormed out without hearing another word. But James did none of these, he simple said, "Why?"

"For all the obvious reasons to begin with and then because, if you don't end it yourself, it will be ended for you." There was almost the sound of a plea in Dumbledore's voice, or perhaps that was just what James wanted to hear.

He narrowed his eyes, "And what about love, Dumbledore? What about all those words about how important it is?"

"You can continue loving her, no one can stop that but you must end the physical side of everything."

"That is cruel."

"Is it crueller than participating in the relationship all while knowing it will have to end? Is it crueller than letting yourself fall deeper and deeper in love with her knowing that eventually she will be taken right from underneath you? Is it crueller than letting her fall more in love with you, than letting her begin to care too much for you, than letting her start to depend on only you?" Dumbledore raised his eyebrows on his pained face as he watched James look away and clench his jaw.

"No one else knows," James' voice was different and it reminded Dumbledore of the uneasiness of James' voice when his father died. "Why shouldn't we have the time we can? It's better than nothing."

"End it," Dumbledore said with a voice much stronger than James'. "Maybe one day there will be a time." James mumbled something but Dumbledore couldn't decipher it, "I'm sorry James, what did you say, a dock?"

"Nothing, I said nothing. Can I go now?"

"You may and please put it all to an end."

James didn't look at Dumbledore again, he couldn't.

He didn't stop to talk to anyone until he stood firmly at Lily's door. She stopped packing and waited for him to say something. She could tell that something was weighing on him.

"Dumbledore knows," Lily said softly unable to wait for James anymore.

Still, he said nothing but held out his hand and Lily made her way to him. James wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close, "Let's go to bed, I'm tired." He whispered into her hair and led her back to his room. Lily slid under the covers as James changed out of his school clothes then climbed in next to her. She watched as James shut his eyes and sighed. She ran her hand down the side of his face and moved closer to him.

"Your feet are cold," James said without opening his eyes and Lily smiled at him with her eyes wide open. She kissed him lightly at first then turned it into something more. James pulled her up to lay on top of him and returned her kisses for a short while.

"Good night," Lily whispered. James gave her one last kiss then she laid her head on his shoulder and shut her eyes for her final sleep at Hogwarts before returning home.

* * *

><p>Lily ran her fingers through her hair as she looked over herself one last time in the full length mirror. She wore a short olive colour wool dress with long sleeves and thick black stockings. She had been instructed to look presentable and was now just waiting for Nancy, her old nanny, to come and tell her it was time. Time for what, Lily still didn't know. She assumed it would be something that would end in an argument with her father as her mother would sit quietly with her forefinger pressed to her forehead.<p>

She walked around her room inspecting old photos and treasures. Ever since arriving last night she had felt incredibly alone. Nothing in this house could relate to James. Nothing here could even remind her of him or make her feel close to him. The last time she was in this room she hated him, and she blamed him for something that was not his fault. She reached one of her windows and looked out into the dead rose garden. A storm was brewing on the horizon but her eyes remained fixed on a lone bench. Her throat tightened as she remembered that day. The last conversation she had with her grandmother ran through her mind and Lily finally realised. She had the love her grandmother was talking about that day. Sometimes she hated James but that never stopped an even deeper emotion and she most certainly did not choose to love James because of his stature.

Then the absolute obvious struck Lily, she loved James. It wasn't lust anymore, it wasn't a game anymore, though she had realised that a while ago. He could say the cruellest words to her and she would forgive him. In return she could cut him to the core and he would accept it. They were from opposite worlds but knew each other like they knew no one else. Okay, perhaps James knew Sirius better than he knew Lily but still. This was different.

There was a knock at the door and Lily shook her head to rid the thoughts and gave permission for whoever was on the other side to come in.

"They're ready, Miss Lily." Lily thanked Nancy and she left the room. She moved away from the window and wiped away the tiny patch of oil her nose had left on the glass. Her heels echoed as she descended the marble stairs and entered the dining room. Only tea and coffee was on the table in her mother's finest china along with some paper. What, or rather who, Lily saw next made her heart stop. What was he doing here in her house? He was supposed to be at school.

"Severus?"

"Lily, dear," She turned to face her mother who made an exaggeration of shutting her mouth. Lily didn't get the message though.

"What is he doing here?" She asked her father who then motioned towards another couple who Lily recognised as Severus' parents. Dark hair and pale skin, Lily remembered spending days upon days at their home and they had always been so kind. Now she wasn't so sure if they would be the same.

"Good afternoon Lily, you look beautiful." Lady Snape spoke in what Lily felt was a fake voice.

"Please, dear, sit down." Lady Evans seemed uneasy but Lily obliged. As she sat she looked only at Severus. He seemed completely calm which made Lily nervous.

"Shall we get on with it?" Lord Evans clapped his hands together in a somewhat triumphant manner.

"I see no point in delaying the news any longer." Lord Snape's voice was the same as his sons, low and at times sleazy.

"Alright then, Lily, my dearest," she wished they would stop saying _dear_. "We only have your best interest at heart. We want you to be safe." Lily almost scoffed at this. Need she tell them what happened in the second week of school?

"And above all we're doing this because we love you." Now Lily was scared. She couldn't even remember the last time her mother had said those words. Looking over at Severus didn't settle her rising nerves. He still appeared tranquil and slight victory was beginning to show.

"So, in your best interest in these dark times…" Oh, they were going to ask her to join Voldemort. For a split second she relaxed, this was nothing new and she could just get up, make a scene and be back in Hogsmeade by nightfall. By tonight she would be recounting the whole thing to James and they would laugh over it after their long kiss celebrating being back together. She would tell him that she loved him tonight. "We've decided to set up an arranged marriage." Maybe it was because she was thinking about James that Lily was convinced that she had heard wrong.

"I apologise Father but what did you just say?" All eyes were on her.

"We've set up an arranged marriage for you and your best friend here, Severus." Lily couldn't describe the drop she felt within her stomach and her heart. Her mind was going round and round in circles as if she had been spinning but now she couldn't stop. If she had eaten she would be sick right now. Had that been why everyone insisted she skip breakfast? She was as good as dead. Someone was speaking but she couldn't hear it. Her body began to shake and she faced Severus who was staring at her. Without caring about her parents and in-laws, oh God _in-laws_, she stood up kicking her chair back. Lady Evans called out to her but she never turned back. Once at the bottom of the stairs she kicked off her heels and ran up to the room where she and James kissed two summers ago. It was bright in the room and she noticed that it had been transformed into a reading room. She wanted to scream but nothing would come out. She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled it. Then the door opened.

She turned to see him. Never feeling such hate before, she watched as he shut the door behind him and walked closer to her.

"Don't!" She held out her hand and he stopped a few metres away from her trembling body.

"Lily."

"Shut up! Just SHUT UP!" She screamed, her breathing was rigid as she made her hands into fists, cutting her palms with her nails. "You knew. You knew everything!" Lily didn't recognise her own voice; never had she experienced such anger. "Tell me you knew! You've known this was going to happen since the first night at Hogwarts. Then you hinted it at the ball. Oh my God!" Severus nodded as she screamed. Lily paused for a moment to catch her breath, "You knew," her voice was now barely a whisper.

"Lily, as you said, I warned you." She took three long steps towards him, looked in his eyes and slapped him. Her hand stung afterwards but it felt good. Severus recovered and held his head up straight. "You can't see Potter anymore." He spoke with determination as the shape of her palm grew on his cheek in a painful shade of red.

"You must feel so good right now. You do, don't you? So _fucking_ brilliant, you won, Severus. You won your measly little war. You'll go back tomorrow with your head held high because now you have something he doesn't. That's exactly how it is now isn't it?" Her voice was still low but it was just the calm before the storm.

"You know what, Lily?" The look on his face made her sick, "That's exactly how it is."

"I HATE YOU!" Her whole body tensed up as she screamed and dug her nails further into her palms. "I fucking hate you! All of you!" A tear fell and Lily knew it would be the first of a million.

"That's your choice but it doesn't have to be like this. We can grow to love each other and you will always be safe." Lily's eyes widened at Snape's words.

"Love you! Whatever makes you think that I could love you?"

"One day you will get over Potter." Lily shut her eyes at the sound of James' last name. "Because I know you love him now but that will have to end. You won't be sharing dorms anymore. You'll be back in with Mary and Evelyn."

"Don't say their names!"

Snape sighed impatiently, "Is it clear that everything ends with Potter because if it isn't I'll be making sure your father knows everything about it." Lily threw her head back and laughed manically.

"Oh, you're going to tell _Daddy_ are you?" Lily pouted sarcastically. Snape knew nothing and he had no proof of anything. "I am so scared," Lily walked in a large circle on her side of the room as she spoke.

"You should be. I think it's time you knew that Potter holds more cards than even he is aware of. Your father feels threatened by Potter's leadership that will take place next year. _Daddy_ won't be able to get all the recruitments Voldemort has asked for once Potter is out." This was news to Lily but she tried to act as if she already knew.

"So, if I told your father about your secret relationship with the Head Boy. If I told him about what happens at the end of dinner, if I told him about all the secret looks and touches in class and in the hallways. Or even if I just told him about what almost happened at the ball. No hesitation will be taken in having Potter tortured, killed or both."

Lily stopped walking and turned her gaze out the window. Her breathing had slowed down but that by no means meant that she was okay. Things were only just beginning. She couldn't be surprised that Severus knew those things. There were students everywhere watching everything and all he had to do was ask. The student would pass on the information unknowingly. She flicked her head around and glared at Severus who was standing triumphantly in the centre of the room.

"So, is it clear?" Lily walked up to him with an unreadable expression. She only stopped when they were mere inches apart.

"I've changed my mind. You haven't won anything, Severus." Her tone was different, it was cold and uncaring. "Potter will always be more than you and that's proven in what you just said. He will always hold more power than you. Father's not afraid of you, is he? And you may have me on paper, on a contract, but there will be nothing between us. So, I hope you're not looking at me and James and thinking that you're about to get the same thing because you're not and you never will."

She brushed passed him, opened the door and slammed it behind her. Holding her head up she continued onto her bedroom where she would pack her bag and leave without speaking to another soul in this wretched house. She would not cry in front of them. She would not show any emotion in front of them ever again.

* * *

><p>There, you have it! Please tell me what you thought - this, personally, was one of my favourite chapters and I really did like writing it.<p>

Thank you for reading :D


	9. Inferior

What can I say? You guys are _amazing_! Receiving those 18 brilliant and inspiring reviews for the last chapter was the highlight of my whole fanfiction writing life! I can not thank you all enough and if I could have had this chapter up sooner, I would have done so.

As usual to the reviews I could not reply to - **Black16Lily:** I am so sorry that I keep on forgetting to mention you up here! I always forget the PM's aren't enabled on your profile (do you know this?) so I think that I have replied when I haven't. Nevertheless, thank you so much for every review for every chapter and I hope I can keep on pleasing you. **Anna:** Thank you for reviewing again. Lily won't be pregnant in this version, I used that card on Georgia instead. This story will probably be about 20-something chapters long. I have 16 pre-planned and the story continues after graduation. How did you find the other story btw? **oa:** I loved that you used the word 'powerful' I wanted nothing more for the last chapter to be just that and I was stoked when you used that exact word! Thank you! **Ellie:** I couldn't drag out the fight because I wanted the last chapter to a complete Lily and James fest before the ending and that stuff won't be happening for a little while now. Thank you for reviewing again! **Yuku:** That's a good idea! But I think my story would be over very quickly if James and Lily did an unbreakable vow. Great idea though! **Ellen: **Thank you for your kind words - they mean so much to me! Unfortunately Lily is going to have to accept some things for the time being but don't worry - Lily and James are far from over! **Jasmine-Potter93:** I can't believe that this is one of your favourite Lily and James stories at the moment! Thank you so much! Your review summed up everything I wanted to achieve for the last chapter so thank you for reviewing again!

Alas, I felt so much pressure with this chapter, you guys really put it on me! But I'm not complaining, it makes me want to do the best I can. This chapter isn't as long or as thrilling as the last but it is vital to fill the gaps and keep the story moving. I still hope you enjoy it!

* * *

><p>'Love sees sharply, hatred even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time.'<p>

- Arab Proverb.

...

The storm that brewed on the horizon earlier brought snow. It gracefully fell from the sky and landed softly on the vast grounds of Great Chalfield Manor. The animals scurried to their nests and hollows for shelter as the house elves that made up majority of the staff at the manor ran about starting the fires and preparing dinner. The branches of the once luscious trees bent in the wind like frail skeletons. As the darkness of the night approached the outdoor lanterns lit up the pathway to the manor. All while a lone house elf began to pointlessly shovel the snow off the front steps and thick smoke billowed out of the high chimneys.

She frantically searched the house for the powder, avoiding her Lord every step of the way. The only place left to look was in the maid's quarters in the basement of the manor. Quickly, she made her way down into the dusty wooden corridors. She ran past a house elf cleaning the fire place and hoped he would soon have it finished, it was freezing down there. Hastily she opened cupboards and drawers but could not find a single skerrick of the stuff.

"Have you seen any floo powder?" She asked a house elf that was carefully stitching a button back on a shirt.

"No, Lord Evans removed it all today. Threw it all out a window sometime this morning," the elf replied. "I heard about Lily," the elf put down the shirt.

"Yes… well, there is nothing we can do about that, is there? And why don't you just use magic for that button?" Ignoring the elf's reply she went back up into the main part of the house. She saw the awful black haired boy out of the corner of her eye in one of the rooms. She had such hate for him and she never liked him much as a kid either. She knocked on the door with four quick raps, just as they had discussed. Hearing the lock click she opened it and quickly moved in, shutting the door behind her and waiting until it clicked again.

Lily ran over to her, "Did you get some?" She asked.

"I'm so sorry, Lily."

"Nancy," Lily sighed, "why isn't there any?"

"Your father threw it all out a window this morning," Nancy feared for what Lily would do next.

"No floo powder… No fucking floo powder in this whole entire house." Lily made her way over to the window and watched the snow fall and the light disappear from the grounds. There was a knock at the door and Lily and Nancy's eyes widened as they looked at each other. Lily held one finger up to her lips instructing Nancy to remain silent. The person on the other side knocked again with more force.

Both girls stood still, listening out for footsteps but the person did not move. Slowly, Lily crouched down to look under the door. She could tell that the shoes would belong to a man on the other side. Her heartbeat was audible in her ears as she stood back up and moved away from the door. Nancy stood in a corner terrified and picked at her lips with her thin fingers. Lily couldn't decide what to do so she just stood. While waiting she ran her fingers over the small cuts on her palms. They were only shallow but they stung with the sweat.

"Lily!" Nancy jumped at the noise.

_Snape_, Lily mouthed to Nancy who nodded. Lily could see the fear in her eyes and hoped that she wouldn't do something rash.

"Open the door, dinner is almost ready," Snape knocked again.

Lily looked around her room as if it would present her with an answer. She shut her eyes and walked to the door and pointed her wand towards the handle.

"Please let me in Lily," his voice was different. It was softer, not like before when it held the tang of an arrogant victory.

Lily opened her emerald eyes and looked back to Nancy who was still wide-eyed. She tapped the handle and slowly pulled the door open. Severus stood alone at the entrance to her room and Lily blocked the way so he couldn't come in.

"I'm sorry about before," Severus started.

"I'm not."

"Why can't you just accept what has happened. It doesn't have to be like this."

Lily scoffed, "I don't want to accept what has happened, thank you very much. Also, it may not have to be like this but it most certainly will be."

She could see that she was pushing Severus' nerves and he looked down the hall then back to her. "Are you coming to dinner?"

"No."

"Why not? I believe it is obligatory," Severus questioned.

"I feel ill. Wouldn't you feel sick if –"

"You want to go back to Hogwarts?" Severus cut in.

Lily pursed her lips in an attempt to remain silent and she willed Nancy, still in her corner, to not say a word.

"Do you want to go back?" He repeated it with a firmer tone.

"I… I don't want to be here right now, if that's what you mean," Lily answered.

Severus put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a very small jar of powder. He held it out to Lily and she eyed it warily. Would he be coming with her? And what was the price of this floo powder because, knowing Severus, it wouldn't be for free.

* * *

><p>Sirius shut the Quidditch magazine and threw it to the end of his bed. Peter was finishing a Herbology essay off on his own bed and Remus and James were doing rounds. There was a tap at the window and Sirius turned to see quite a boring looking owl on the outside sill. Curious, he opened the window and untied the letter from the owl's foot and it flew away instantly.<p>

"Who's that from?" Peter asked showing interest.

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged and unfolded the crumpled parchment.

_Sirius, meet me at the Hogwarts and Hogsmeade gate._

_-L.E_

Sirius reread the sentence a few times with a furrowed brow.

"Padfoot, what is it?" Peter asked another question.

"Err, I have to go out for a moment. Won't be long," Sirius grabbed his black coat and scarf and began making a plan in his head.

Cold drafts whipped through the stone corridors as he made his way to the third floor. He didn't have to think much about it as he automatically found the portrait of the one-eyed witch, tapped it and said "Dissendium."

He had walked through this tunnel countless times. Holding his wand out for light he wondered what Lily was doing. It was only Saturday night and she wasn't supposed to be back until Sunday afternoon. Sirius pushed open the trap door and entered an empty Honeydukes. Without being noticed he stepped outside into the bitter cold and was surprised to see snow falling. It was only faint though. He tightened his scarf and made his way for the gates. Originally, he was going to change into a dog to make it through Hogsmeade but he had grown to hate the snow on his paws.

As she said, Lily Evans was waiting at the tall iron gates with a carry bag. She too was wrapped up in her warmest clothes. She must have heard Sirius coming because she turned to face him before he made it to her. Immediately, Sirius was struck by Lily. She was pale and her eyes were red with a shade of purple underneath due to tiredness. He broke into a little run to make it to her faster. She silently looked up to him with a scared expression.

"What did they do?" Sirius asked as smoky air left his mouth due to the coldness.

Lily said nothing, she couldn't. So she fell forwards onto him and cried. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her black beret. He could feel her body shaking violently against his but she continued to say nothing. The snow began to create a white carpet over the cobbled path and the street lanterns dimmed with the late hour creating shadows of the bare tree branches and Lily and Sirius.

"Lily, what happened?" Sirius pulled away and Lily wiped her eyes.

"I don't know where to go," Lily said in a voice which wasn't her own.

"You're going to come back to the castle with me," Sirius bent down to her level and held her arms reassuringly.

"I can't," her voice was light and it was as if she were under the Imperius Curse.

"Why not? Just tell me what they did."

"I can't go back because James is there," Lily said wide-eyed.

"Lily, you're not making sense. What is wrong with James?"

Lily flicked her head as if coming back to focus and looked at Sirius, "I don't know how to tell him what has happened. I don't even know how to tell you. I don't know how to put it in words and I don't know how to voice it. I asked for you to come down because you know what our families are like and because maybe you could understand."

Sirius nodded, he had thought as much when he was in the tunnel. "You have to just say it."

...

"Where's Sirius?" James walked back into the dormitory with Remus behind him.

"An owl brought a letter and he just took his coat and left straight away. Didn't say who it was from or where he was going." Peter replied and shut the magazine Sirius was reading before.

James and Remus shared a glance, "How long ago was that?" Remus asked.

"An hour or so," Peter shrugged, "where's the map?"

"In my room," James confirmed.

"I'll wait down here while you get it. I've had enough walking," Remus said as he sat down and removed his shoes.

"Okay, won't be long," James left hoping he would run into Sirius on the way and find out here he went.

Remus reluctantly stood back up again to change into his pyjamas. It was then he noticed a trunk at the end of James' old bed.

"Hey Pete?" Remus walked over to the trunk and noticed it was James' from the J.P inscribed on the top.

"Hmm?"

"Why is James' trunk down here?" Remus opened it and it was definitely James'. All his belongings were packed tightly inside with the Marauders Map lying on top.

"What? I didn't even notice that before." Peter got up from his bed to join Remus. "Does that mean he's not a Head student anymore?"

"I don't know," Remus frowned then picked up the map and opened it.

...

Lily ran. She ran as fast as she could. Sirius had taken her on some weird trail back to the castle but now she was in. Unfortunately her plan hadn't worked, originally she wanted to enter from the main entrance to then climb the stairs to the Head dormitory but it turned out she was on the third floor. Sirius had her bag and would take it to the Gryffindor dormitory. So now she ran. The stairs never moved on her which cut out a lot of time. She knew there would be no password so she opened the picture and walked into the room.

She breathed heavily and immediately walked to his room. It was empty. She turned and opened her own door only to find another empty room. This was real; her real life had infiltrated her private and secret one. It had emptied it, striped it bare leaving not a trace of existence behind. Lily walked back into the common area and jumped when she saw James by the door. He casually leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, staring straight at Lily. She spotted a letter in his hand and feared for what it might say. The amount of dread she felt weighed heavy on her entire body. It was enough to make her sick, especially with the expression James wore.

"So, they didn't tell me why I had to move back but I'm guessing it has something to do with you." Lily wished it didn't have to start this way but it did. She only wanted to kiss him but James was guarded and showed no signs of being affectionate.

"Something like that, I guess."

"Are you going to tell me?" Lily looked down to the floor. Telling him would make it real and she didn't know what would follow. If she knew how James would react it might be easier instead of this complete darkness.

"I…" How was she to say this? She walked closer to him and could now see a slight trace of worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

...

Remus jumped down the stairs and into the Gryffindor common room. He had seen it all on the map, a very fast moving Lily Evans and a very still James Potter. He opened the portrait of the Fat Lady and Sirius was waiting just outside with a carry bag at his feet.

"Don't go up there," he said.

"Something's wrong," Remus said urgently, waving the map in his hand.

"I know," Sirius nodded calmly. "Something is very, very wrong."

...

Lily gained back her breathe but her body still hadn't lost its slight nervous shake. "We can't…" She sniffed and wiped a tear away.

"Oh c'mon Lily," James became impatient, "just say it!"

Lily suddenly realised how cold it was in the room. She wanted nothing more than to start a fire but she was sure James wouldn't appreciate that. "I think we have to stop everything."

"Because we're not Head students anymore?"

"We are Head students, we're just back in our dorms," Lily said.

"Okay, so why are we back in our dorms?"

"Some things have changed," Lily tried her hardest to keep her head held high but all she wanted to do was stare at the ground. James let out an impatient sigh and Lily felt pressured. "I'm in an arranged relationship," she'd never say marriage, "with Severus."

James blinked and Lily held her breath.

...

"What are they going to do?" Remus asked.

"Go on with their lives," Sirius shrugged and lent over the railing looking down at the moving stair cases.

"But they were…" Remus faced Sirius with confusion.

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "yeah they were."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose in thought. "They weren't supposed to be though."

"Well now they're _really_ not supposed to be."

"What do you think James will do?" Remus leaned over the railing too now.

"Moony… I honestly don't know. Jealousy will drive him mad."

...

"Your parents did this?" James asked indifferently.

"Of course," Lily wished he would show more emotion.

"Do you think they knew?"

"No, I don't think they did."

"How did you get back here so early? You ran away?"

"Severus," she saw James cringe at the name, "gave me some floo powder."

"How very kind of him," James said with sarcasm in every word. "So how did you get back into the castle? Do you know about the trap door in Honeydukes, or the entrance from The Hog's Head? Please don't tell me you walked all the way to the Shrieking Shack."

Confused, Lily said, "I sent an owl to Sirius and he brought me back through Honeydukes."

"Why didn't you owl me?" James actually appeared hurt by this.

"Because I couldn't tell you and Sirius understands my family."

James acknowledged the fact and walked to the window. He held onto the sill tightly, "Have you two… done anything, you and _Severus_?"

Lily fought back tears; she hated how James was acting. She needed him to be him right now and not this other person. She had had enough today and she needed him. "It hasn't even been twenty-four hours."

"Have you?" James asked again still looking out at the snow in the dark.

The room was so silent that Lily could hear her own heavy breathing. "Yes."

"Get out," James said barely a second after Lily's answer. She should have said no.

"James?"

"Please just leave," he didn't turn to look at her. He just waited to hear the door shut and not a minute later it did.

Once he heard it shut he fell to the ground and leant up against the wooden wall. Harshly, he slammed the hardwood floor next to his thigh with his hand. Every moment, every time, he had with Lily ran through his mind. Her teasing him with his broom and her at the ball for McGonagall. In her bed after the ball and then the next night. The first time they slept together and the second, third, fourth and fifth. Her parading around wearing his red sash and top hat. Her coming into his room after spending the night out with Remus. He banged his head against the wall and induced a headache. Just as Dumbledore had said, if he didn't end things with her it would be ended for them.

Lily sat on the ground outside the portrait and buried her head in her knees. She didn't expect James to be okay with it but the reality hurt more than any imagination she had. She heard a noise from inside the room and shut her eyes at the thought of James hurting himself in anger. In the dim light she could see two people walking up the stairs towards her. Together they reached the portrait and it was Remus and Sirius. They looked down at her sympathetically but entered the room without saying a word to her. Feeling like it wasn't her place to be around she stood up and breathed in deeply but shakily. She made it to the top of the stairs and Evelyn and Mary stood at the bottom. Clearly they had come up with Remus and Sirius. Evelyn held out her arms while Mary gave an encouraging but sad smile.

"Come on, Lily," Mary said just loud enough for her to hear. Lily nodded and walked down to her friends who enveloped her. Lily looked back towards her Head dorm and Evelyn pulled her gently along in the other direction.

"It's over," she whispered and the girls gave the tiniest nods but squeezed her hands. Lily and James had a way of getting over fights quickly but this wasn't going to go anywhere soon. This wouldn't be over by Monday or next weekend and when she let herself be truly honest Lily knew that this was something they would never get over.

It was over.

* * *

><p>"James, we're off the Shrieking Shack," Sirius declared.<p>

"I can't believe who much it snowed!" Peter said excitedly, looking out a window.

James didn't move. He just laid in bed and said nothing. His friends left and he was alone.

"Lil's it snowed so much! Please come out for a walk?" Mary tugged at Lily's arm.

"I'm not leaving this bed until Monday morning," Lily stated, "go on without me."

Evelyn and Mary exchanged a glance and knew they could do no more.

"We'll bring you back some lunch then," the girls agreed and left.

At the same time Lily and James were left alone in the Gryffindor dormitory. Not a single student was around besides them, in their beds, trying to accept what was happening. James didn't even bother to look at the map to see where Lily was and she didn't even bother to leave her bed to ask anyone about him.

Later in the day they received letters from other students informing them that they were both required to meet Dumbledore at six that evening. Without bothering to do much about her appearance Lily left the dormitory. To her surprise James was already waiting outside Dumbledore's office. Her heart lurched when she saw him. There was no light surrounding him, no life. She'd only seen him like this once before and that anniversary was soon approaching.

"Hi," James greeting her then said the password and began walking up the stairs without waiting for her response.

It physically and mentally hurt for both of them to be around each other. Dumbledore greeting them equally, James had been expecting something different.

"So, now you both know," he started, looking at the Head Students who avoided each other's gaze. "I hate to take the Head dormitory off you but I'm sure there will be no difference working from the Gryffindor dormitory. Have you both settled back in okay?"

"Brilliantly," James mumbled.

"It's been great," Lily said.

"I know this situation is, in some ways, horrible but please don't let it destroy the friendship you two have." It took all of James' power not to scoff at this. Dumbledore sighed at the silence, "Please excuse me for a moment." He left the room, leaving James and Lily alone.

"You hate me again now, don't you?" James faced Lily for the first time and she flicked her head to look at him.

"Hate you? Why would I hate you?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I've tricked you into this relationship and _made_ you fall in love with me. Just like back in fifth year when I almost _made_ you have sex with me," James said in a cruel voice.

"It's not like that at all," Lily defended her self, "and don't you dare put all the hate you have for Severus and my family on me!"

"Will you just stop saying his name!"

"_What_!" Lily scrunched up her forehead at James' request.

"It's all Severus, Severus, Severus. It's like you actually –"

"Like him? You actually think I like him?" Lily said disbelievingly.

"Well it took you guys less than twenty-four hours to do something."

"Oh my God, James, you are being such an idiot right now! I kissed, only kissed, Sev – sorry, _Snape_ so I could get the floo powder and get back to _you._ You, James, _you_! So don't you dare hate me," Lily paused for a moment, "and I don't love you. Do you love me?" She searched his hazel eyes for hope.

"Okay, my next guest has arrived," Dumbledore retuned with a Severus Snape in tow. "James, I will ask you to leave now."

Before James moved Lily gave him a look that he would never forget. The fear in her eyes and the sadness in her face would be forever etched in his mind. It was a reflection of how they both felt behind the words that they used to hide themselves.

"I don't hate you," James whispered as he stood up and made to leave. Severus sent the dirtiest smirk his way and James suddenly felt inferior. A feeling he was not accustomed to and a feeling he did not like.

* * *

><p>Rain had melted the snow and Lily watched as it hit the large windows of the Great Hall on Monday morning. She had her back facing the Slytherin table, her reality. The owls swooped in and dropped a copy of Witch Weekly in front of Mary, who pushed it aside. Lily picked it up and flicked through it. The main spread caught her eye as she noticed a number of familiar faces including her own. Curiously she turned back to the start of the article.<p>

_Britain's Most Eligible Nobles!_ Read the title and Lily was quick to spot out an admittedly gorgeous picture of James with a short bio underneath. Sirius Black's photo was next to his then Ben Woods. Lily scrunched up her nose. Ben was with Mary. She skipped the others and turned the page to see a picture of herself next to one of Severus. The article declared her as officially taken by him and even published a wedding date. Furious, Lily threw down the magazine and marched out of the Hall. Mary picked up the magazine and read the short passage with Evelyn looking over her shoulder.

"Can you sue magazines like they do in the Muggle world?" Mary asked Evelyn, her shook her head in response.

"Now everybody knows," Evelyn looked up and it was hard to miss majority of the girls in the hall whispering to each other, giggling and blushing.

Mary turned back a page and saw the picture of Ben. Her heart dropped, they didn't even consider her. Who would? She was just a Muggle-born and to be honest, Mary didn't even know where she and Ben stood anymore. "Let's go Ev'."

* * *

><p>Bored, Noah wandered through the cloisters. Snow fell onto the architecture, highlighting all the creases and folds of the stone. Something had happened, something had changed. Ever since doing that essay with Evelyn he had been somewhat connected with the popular Gryffindor's. Or maybe it was just him thinking that. He watched them from the outside as they went about their lives, wishing he could be more involved. He saw, from the Ravenclaw table, Lily Evans and James Potter create a routine of leaving the Hall after dinner five minutes apart. He saw the desperate and longing glances Ben Wood sent in Mary Macdonald's direction. He saw Peter Pettigrew try to impress his friends. He saw Sirius Black act cool and today act as James Potter's pillar. He saw Remus Lupin stare back at the Ravenclaw table for short moments at a time then turn back to his friends. However, most importantly to him, he saw Evelyn Bell. He saw her juggling her two friends who seemed to be struggling at this point of time and he wondered how she felt.<p>

Noah Burke was no stalker, he just showed an interest. He had never had anything to do with these people and now he had the slightest connection he felt fascinated by them. They lived lives that were more complicated than anything he could ever dream of. He didn't want to be a Marauder nor did he want to be a Noble. He just wanted to know them and to be friends. It was then that Noah noticed James walking very quickly down the corridor. In an effort to find out what was wrong with everyone he called out to the Gryffindor.

"James!" He appeared annoyed but stopped nevertheless. "Is everything okay? I just noticed that things seem a bit… off."

"Off?" James raised his eyebrows. Noah then noticed he was in his Quidditch training uniform and held his broomstick. Noah couldn't imagine anything worse than training for Quidditch in the snow.

"Yeah," he felt so inferior to James even though they were the same age, in the same grade and did plenty of classes together.

James' gaze went out into the courtyard behind Noah. He smirked then turned his attention back to the Ravenclaw, "Things are off, yes."

"But what?"

"I don't have time," James began walking again.

"But I want to –" he wanted to say help.

"Burke, go and find someone who cares about these _off_ things because I don't!" James turned back around and was out of sight before Noah could say another word, let alone apologise.

It was moments like these that Noah was reminded that he would never fit in with the popular Gryffindor's. No matter how much he ended up caring about them, they never cared for him in return. He would never learn when not to bother James, the Crown Prince of them all. He would never be able to approach Sirius. He would never be able to have a proper conversation with Remus. As for Ben, Lily and Mary, he couldn't even properly remember the last time he'd talked to them. Meaning, Evelyn was too good.

James rushed into the classroom where Lily stood up the front and the Prefects sat in their usual seats. Still in his Quidditch training uniform he made his way up the front.

"I didn't get the new schedule done," Lily spoke in a small voice.

"I did," James pulled a rather thick pile of paper out of his book bag and organised it into different piles. "You can stand up the back today, Lily, I've done everything."

Not wanting to question anything Lily made her way up the back and sat next to Remus. "Since last night he's only done school work, Quidditch practice routine things and Head things. I don't think he slept." Remus said to Lily.

"Alright everyone, here is the new schedule. I don't want to hear a single complaint about it. You get what you're given." Pieces of paper went flying in the air and landed neatly on every desk. Lily scanned for her name and quickly found it, next to Remus'.

"He doesn't want to do rounds together anymore," Lily said quietly.

"Do you think he could bear it?" Remus whispered back to her.

"It's not only him," Lily hissed, "he's not the one that is promised to someone else. James still has his own life, I don't!"

Remus tilted his head to the side in acknowledgment. More paper flew out and landed on four empty desks at the front.

"These are the permission letters for students who are going home for Christmas. If someone from every house could collect a pile and put them somewhere in you common room that would be great. All letters must be returned to your head of house by December ten." Lily watched on as James avoided her gaze, "Also, this weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend. Same as always, just let it be known. Any questions?" No one put their hands up and James dismissed everyone.

Once everyone had left Lily made her way up to the front of the room where James stood. "Good job."

"I thought you could do with a break… considering." He swung his bag over his shoulder and looked down at Lily.

"Why am I doing rounds with Remus?"

"Because I don't feel like dealing with Snape's accusations," James answered.

"You never cared about them before," Lily stepped closer to him.

"Maybe I do now," James' eyes narrowed as he stepped back then turned to leave.

"The James Potter I knew, what, three days ago wouldn't be doing this." James stopped with his hand on the doorhandle and Lily continued, "He didn't care, he did what he wanted. I think it's a real shame that someone like you has come down to this because of what has happened. I never thought I would see the day that James Potter felt inferior to Severus Snape."

With that he left. He didn't slam the door like Lily had expected, he just silently left the room and her life. She sat down in the teachers chair and wiped away a tear with frustration. The emptiness that was growing inside of her was becoming too much. She had expected James to be strong enough to carry both of them through this mess. She had depended on him to do so but now he had fallen weak.

* * *

><p>Every class dragged on and on. Every time Severus approached her, James felt the stab. Dumbledore's words still rang in his mind. If only he had known that it would all happen so soon. He wanted nothing more than to touch her and to feel her lying next to him again. He hated Snape being so close to her. He hated that she didn't push him away anymore. He hated that she talked to him. Didn't she hate him as well? Or had she just forgotten about absolutely everything that he had done to her? James wished to talk to her but he knew it would just end in a fight. They were both stubborn that way. Right now they were both protecting their wounds and threw words at each other to feel something… anything. They knew they could do this because they knew that both of them wouldn't be offended. Or at least it used to be like that. Now James felt something when Lily said something degrading. The night before when she said he felt inferior to Snape he had felt it. It was like a curse because it was the truth and it killed him that Lily had noticed. But of course she did.<p>

"Prongs," James felt Sirius nudge him, "class is over."

James snapped out of his thoughts and noticed that the classroom was empty. "Another day done."

"Thank Merlin."

James didn't move from his seat, "Do you think she's actually accepted it all?"

"No," Sirius sat on the desk in front of James. "I just think that she is incredibly confused."

"But why does she have to spend time with him?"

"Because that is what is expected of her right now and I think she is just trying to lie low. It won't last forever." Sirius said, taking off his tie and shoving it in his bag.

"It will. She will get comfortable and everything will just," James sighed, "fall into place."

Sirius watched as his best friend packed up his books at a painfully slow speed. "Potter," James rolled his eyes and looked up to Sirius, "I'm going to be slightly harsh with you right now."

"Go ahead."

"You and Evans were never supposed to be together in the first place."

"Thank you for reminded me of that, Sirius." James slowly stood up.

Sirius smirked and continued on, "It was all supposed to be a secret and I'm sure only very few of us know that you two had anything." James stared at Sirius tediously as he spoke, "So, why are you acting as if you two had something?"

"What?"

"Stop acting like you've just lost the love of your life! Just for a little while stop caring." Sirius jumped off the desk to stand in front of James.

"I don't care."

"Then act like it. People are starting to realise that you've been moping around ever since news came out about Evans and Snape. They're getting suspicious and before you even start, I know you don't care. But just think about it, you're doing yourself and Lily no favour by being like this. She's covering up so why don't you?"

"Fine, I'll start tomorrow."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Quidditch practice, it's Wednesday. Are you not coming?"

James made his way past Sirius who stared blankly at the snow falling outside. He inwardly groaned at the thought of the gruelling session ahead. As predicted, James put everything he had left into his team and they put everything they had left into surviving.

...

Mary held her breath and pulled Ben into an empty classroom at the end of the day. In an attempt to keep him there she trapped him between herself and the wall. They hadn't been this close for a while now. His scent drove her mad and she could just kiss him and forget about everything right in this moment. She knew he had to change for Quidditch practice soon though so she would make this quick.

"What has happened?" She whispered, inwardly telling herself not to rest her head on his chest. They stood inches apart and he looked down at her with sad eyes.

"I don't know," Ben said in the same low tones as Mary, "I can't protect you."

She dared to move just that little bit closer so parts of them were touching. "I told you, I'm fine. I made it back from the Quidditch pitch fine and through the weekend fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"And I told you, all I wanted was to protect you. All I do now is worry about you. I failed," Ben put his forehead down in Mary's and they both shut their eyes.

"Can't you just forget about it?"

"No, I can't just forget about you being tortured. I can't forget about them being able to get past me and cursing you."

"Ben…" Mary looked up at him and he slowly opened his eyes. Her heart sank as she noticed that there were tears in them. She had never seen Ben cry. "I think you need to sort yourself out. Maybe you just need to think about other things instead of me. Because, I don't want you to be worrying about me or feeling like you've failed."

Now she had tears in her own eyes. She moved her head back and wiped her fingers over Ben's cheek, erasing a stray tear. Her hand moved down to his chest and she let it rest there for a short while as Ben just watched her. "Let's have a break."

He looked like he wanted to say something but Mary cut him off again. She went up on her toes and kissed him lightly, "I still love you," she whispered then rushed out of the room. Her feet led her quickly to the Gryffindor dormitory while her mind convinced itself that she had done the right thing. Ben needed time and he needed to realise that she wasn't his responsibility.

* * *

><p>"It's been a week now," Clarissa leaned over the arm of the chair and looked at Severus with doe eyes, "when will she be visiting?"<p>

"Why don't we all meet up at Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Severus suggested. "The sooner she gets to meet you all the better. She just needed this week to… accept everything."

Clarissa fell back into her chair with a sigh. It wasn't long until a sly smile grew on her lips, "Potter's had a great week. In fact, the Gryffindor seventh years have proved to be a great source of entertainment this week." She thought out loud, twisting her hair around her finger.

"Potter has no idea what's coming." Severus stared into the Slytherin common room fire with his own sly smile.

Clarissa's eyes widened, "Tell me!"

"Not yet, it has to be a surprise."

She frowned, "Does Lily know?"

Severus smirked, "Oh yes, she knows, but she doesn't know that I plan on spilling the secret."

"Now I'm confused," Clarissa let her hair go.

"Don't worry yourself. You'll see it all happen in good time."

She rolled her eyes at Severus, "Whatever, so Hogsmeade tomorrow for lunch?"

Severus nodded and Clarissa left to go up to the girl's dormitory.

* * *

><p>Lily wanted to die. She was waiting for it, for the moment that she would run into James. So far it had all been fairly safe as she walked down the main street of Hogsmeade with Severus and his friends. To her relief they walked into The Hog's Head and she was finally out of sight. The Slytherin boys went up to the bar to get drinks and she was left with Clarissa.<p>

"So Lily, you must join us down in the Slytherin common room more often. It would be nice to have another decent girl around."

Lily raised an eyebrow at the girl, "Decent girl? I'm sorry but I won't be setting foot down in those dungeons."

"What about when you and Sev…" Clarissa tilted her head in a hinting sort of way. At first Lily didn't get it and when she did she was disgusted.

"I don't think that will be happening soon, if ever." Lily looked to the door as the bell rang and more Slytherins walked in.

"But didn't you two used to love each other? Now you're finally together again. I'm sorry but Severus did tell me about the times you two had. Out on the boat and in the forest at your house, it all seemed so perfect."

Lily had never felt so uncomfortable. Since when was Clarissa Bulstrode a romantic?

"What happened between you two anyway?" She rested her chin in her hand and smiled at Lily.

"He turned to the Dark Arts." Lily answered and Clarissa's sweet friendly smile turned into a nasty knowing smile.

"Lily, your whole family is in the Dark Arts. I know you hate it but maybe you should just accept it. Severus cares for you, he really does. He wouldn't let you get hurt and if you really hate that sort of magic you don't have to do it. Severus wouldn't let you fight anyway, it's too dangerous. So you'd never be required to perform such magic. The war can't last forever. One day it will be over and _Dark Magic_ won't be needed, as long as everyone stays in line."

Lily had never thought about it that way, "But being on this side means I support that sort of magic."

Clarissa shrugged, "Only for the duration of the war. After then who cares?"

Lily couldn't find an answer before Severus and the other boys sat next to her. The bell above the door rang again as some students walked out. Lily didn't miss it though. She had spotted it, the black dog that had snuck through and made itself comfortable in a corner. It rested its head on its front paws and kept its light blue eyes on her. As she kept eye contact with the dog she felt Severus put a hand on her thigh. In response she tensed up and the dog in the corner of the room sat up, alert.

She didn't know what to do. Her immediate thought was to flick it away, the touch reminded her so much of the ball. Slowly she put her hand on top of his and squeezed it then moved in away from her thigh. The dog laid back down but Lily knew he kept an eye on her.

...

"Where is Georgia, _Remus_?" James asked, nudging his friend with his elbow.

"She is revising for end of term exams."

"They're not for weeks," Peter scrunched up his face in disgust at the thought of studying.

"So? She wants to be prepared." Remus defended, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

"Peter!" A girl called out and joined the three boys.

"Hey Betty," Peter smiled as Remus eyed the short Ravenclaw.

"Want to get a drink?" She wrapped her arms around one of his and pulled him away before Peter could even answer.

Remus and James watched as the two left, "She has problems doesn't she?" James asked.

"Betty? God, yes."

"No, Georgia," James clarified and the two started walking slowly down the street again.

"What makes you say that?" Remus pretended to be confused.

"Last week in the Hall when I was watching you two she seemed so stressed. Also, I could tell you were pushing to get something out of her." James said. As he talked he couldn't help notice all the girls smiling at him.

"She gets a bit stressed out, yes." Remus answered. He seemed unaware of the staring girls.

"But it's serious," Remus nodded at James, "and you're trying to help her?"

"Trying," Remus sighed.

"You're the only one that could. You two should go on a date, get her away from the books."

"Prongs," Remus sent James a look.

"C'mon, you have a problem, she has a problem and two negatives make a positive."

"I can't believe you just said that," Remus stopped walking to look at James sceptically. "Let's change topic, how are you?"

"Let's change topic, why are all these girls staring?"

"You didn't see Witch Weekly?"

"I'm sorry, I don't read that one," James shrugged in mock sincerity.

"You're one of the hottest available Nobles in Britain. Lucky thing," Remus teased, knowing James wouldn't be happy.

"Am I now?" James questioned as he made to enter Spintwitches, the sporting goods store. "My sixteen year old self is overjoyed."

"Thought so, Sirius, Ben and a few others in school are also mentioned. Most have now graduated." Remus followed James into the store.

"When did they publish that rubbish?" James asked.

"Monday-ish? I don't know, I don't read it either."

"But Ben was with Mary on Monday." James stated, tilting his head to the side as he inspected the new broomstick in a display cabinet.

Remus laughed, "That doesn't stop them."

"I want to see this magazine!" James turned to face Remus. He really did want to see what all this fuss was about.

"No, you don't."

"Why not?"

"Snape and Lily are in it." Remus said quietly and James waited, "It even published a wedding date. Completely false mind you."

"Right," James felt a drop in his stomach at the mention of them, "I don't care." He shrugged and moved on.

...

"How are you? I haven't seen you for ages," Betty smiled as she scooted into a booth with Peter.

"Yeah, not since you had that big fight with Georgia. What happened there anyway?"

"Oh, you know her, just a big drama queen. She went on accusing me of things and I just cut her off. I don't need friends like that, you know?" Betty explained feeling sorry for herself.

"I suppose," Peter shrugged.

"I know you don't want to talk about it but I heard about Lily and Severus," Betty looked concerned.

"Yeah, that… that was shocking."

"How is James?"

"He's fine, why?"

"Well he and Lily were an item, no?" Betty pretended to look confused.

"No, Lily and James were never an item." Peter decided to use this, annoying, chance to make up for his past mistakes. "I don't know what they must have looked like to you, Betty, but they were – _are_ good mates. There was never any… relationship, kissing, I don't know what but there was none of that."

"Oh," Betty raised her thin eyebrows.

"And you know what? I must be going; I want to spend today with the boys." Betty tried to say something but Peter ignored her.

...

They talked about the war and some other things which Lily didn't comment on. The conversation she had with Clarissa strayed in her mind. She was trying to figure out a way to make this work, if there ever was a way. A silence fell over everyone and Lily saw this as her chance.

She leant closer to Severus and whispered that she felt ill into his ear. He nodded and she left with the black dog close behind her while everyone else stayed inside. Lily made her way behind the shops then turned and waited. It wasn't even a minute before Sirius appeared.

"What are you doing?" He asked her.

"Mingling," Lily answered.

"Mingling, with dear Clarissa and Snape? I didn't think that you would give into it all so quickly." Sirius said, leaning against a stone wall of a store.

"What, should I just keep putting it off for James' sake?" Lily fiddled with the small bows on her gloves, avoiding Sirius' gaze.

"No one said anything about James," Sirius stated.

"You were going to. He sent you."

"No, he didn't." Lily looked to Sirius to see if he was lying but his expression seemed to be truthful. "I saw you go in there with them and so I decided to follow. James thinks I'm off with Penny Abbotts, which may have been more fun than seeing Snape trying to feel you up. Nice move by the way."

Lily smirked, "Thanks, I guess, but you don't have to follow me around."

"I know but I didn't miss the relief on your face once you saw me," Sirius pointed out.

Lily was silent for a moment. Buying time, she stared up to the thatched windows on the second level of whatever shop they were behind then mustered up the courage to ask what she had wanted to ask since seeing Sirius alone, "How is James?"

Sirius sighed, "At the start, horrible, but the thing about James is he has this amazing ability to change from a normal person who cares and feels to a person who is just about duty. You've seen it."

"It can't last forever."

"Why can't it?"

"He has to give into it all eventually."

"Just like you."

"What?"

"You can't hold up this façade forever either."

"Why not?" Lily furrowed her brow, unhappy with how the person who had been watching out for her moments ago was now testing her.

"Because you have to give into it all eventually," Sirius repeated Lily's words with a smile. "And if I know you two," Sirius pushed himself off the wall, "it'll happen around the same time." He gave Lily a strange look then turned the corner out into the main street.

Unhappy with his last words Lily ran around the corner but Sirius was long gone down the street. She spotted him with his hands in his pockets as he joined James, Remus and Peter outside The Three Broomsticks. Together they laughed about something and Lily's eyes narrowed. She watched James look around before walking off with the boys. Was he looking for her? She hoped so.

* * *

><p>As said, not as thrilling as the last chapter, I know, but not every chap can be like that! I do promise you some more exciting times ahead though.<p>

Thank you for reading!


	10. The Truth

One hundred and one reviews! I LOVE YOU GUYS! So in celebration here is the next chapter. In my opinion it is bigger (ok, that's fact) and better than the last. Thank you to every one who reviewed that last one and reassured me that it was still going good. I think about you all while writing. It's like "ohh would so and so like this, they commented on that so should I change this or that." For _everything_, I do this. **RandomReviewer**: I love that you love the story and so here is your update! **Black16lily:** I hate it to, I wasn't thinking right last chap. I've made some amendments in this one. **growinghope: **How are you! Sirius knows what's going on, he's so awesome haha. **Me: **You commented on ch1 so I'm guessing you're up to here now but thanks for reviewing! I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. **Happy**: Hmm okay. I reread the chap and completely saw what you were talking about and I agree she was a little flimsy in the last chapter true (and I'm afraid it's Mary's turn in this chap ugh I hope I didn't ruin her). Could you please tell me the easy ways Lily can get out of the relationship though? Then I can come up with ways to make them impossible or difficult. Thank you for telling me your thoughts though. **DarkBlackRoses: **You are _phenomenal_! I had the biggest smile when you used that word! When James is happy I'll use it again. Thank you so much for your kind words! **Anna:** Did you go well in your Latin final? I hope so! That's so interesting that you found CBITMH, it must have been way back in the archives. Snape is a bastard, yes. There is nothing I can do about that and please believe me when I say that I don't mind the canon Snape. I just get some sick pleasure out of making him this cruel man in my stories.

Here we go guys!

* * *

><p>"There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown. Things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard or never even felt."<p>

Unknown.

...

Lady Evans wandered aimlessly through the house. With her wand she lit the fire in her husband's dark office then made her way over to the desk. Curiously, she looked through some papers. One in particular caught her eye. The letter head was of Gringotts Wizarding Bank. She unfolded the letter and read the sums and figures. A panic rose within her at the diminishing numbers. She flicked through all the pages with a furrowed brow and a slightly faster heart rate. Sense had hit her and she double checked the vault number. It was not the Evans' and she did not recognise it to be anyone's that she knew. The branches on the tree outside scraped against the window in the wind causing her to jump. Telling herself not to be so paranoid, Lady Evans folded up the pages and left them how she found them. Quietly she stood up and pushed in the chair.

"This room is off limits to anyone but Lord Evans," an old house elf stood at the door and caused Lady Evans to flinch again. It was Thaddeus, Lord Evans' personal elf.

"Excuse me but this is my house too," Lady Evans stood her ground. Usually she had rule over every elf in the house, except this one of whom she rarely saw.

"This room is off limits to anyone but Lord Evans," Thaddeus repeated and moved to the side so Lady Evans could leave the room. Not wanting her actions to be repeated she swiftly exited without making a scene. Thaddeus singled out a key on his chain and locked the door before giving Lady Evans a very suspicious glance. Without another word he walked down the dimmed corridor leaving Lady Evans to herself again.

* * *

><p>Georgia jumped as a hand came over her head and lifted the book she was studying out of her grasp. Remus fell into the seat next to her and placed The History of Magic book shut on the table.<p>

"I was studying," Georgia said pointedly but with a smile she couldn't resist.

"When is the exam?"

"Next Friday," she answered, "so I really should get back to it." Remus moved the book out of her reach.

"I think you need a break. It's night time and we've been working all day."

"I don't do breaks," Georgia said with a smirk. "Also, before you start, I don't want to talk about it."

"I didn't say anything," Remus said innocently, "it's up to you now."

Georgia felt a sense of victory, now she would never have to talk about it. Her plan worked, it always did actually. Soon Remus would grow bored of the topic and forget about it and he won't bring it up. Then, like everybody else, he would move on. He would give up trying to save her and trying to fix her. The thing was Georgia didn't want this one to leave.

"Are you going to give me back my book? If I fail, I'm going to blame you," said Georgia.

"You won't fail and no, I'm not giving your book back until we have a chat."

"About what?"

Remus shrugged, "Anything. Did you go to Hogsmeade last weekend?"

"I'm going to get another book," Georgia stood up and walked away.

Remus couldn't help but smile at this girl's determination. He followed her down an aisle of ancient hardbacks, then another and another. She finally found another copy of the book that Remus had hijacked but now she had to find a ladder to reach it. At first she tried to reach it herself while Remus stood at the end of the bookshelf with his arms crossed watching her. It didn't pass Remus' notice that Georgia's skirt didn't cover much when she reached upwards.

"Are you going to help me?" She asked in a huff.

"No," Remus said and made his way towards her. Georgia jumped for the book and actually got it. Her landing, however, wasn't as successful. She tumbled back and Remus caught her. They both froze; they hadn't been this close to each other since her break down. Georgia noted that Remus had a scent that she hadn't taken notice of until now and yet it was familiar. She liked being here, in his arms.

"Is this how you usually get the boys?" Remus asked quietly.

"I don't normally have to do that much physical exercise beforehand," Georgia said as her breathing slowed down after jumping. "But I think you're worth it."

"You do?"

Georgia bit her bottom lip and nodded before she raised her head and met Remus' lips. It was slow and soft and she hadn't felt this good for a long time. Remus felt Georgia smile into the kiss and picked her up and placed her on a narrow table that ran along the tall bookshelf. She threw her book out of her hand and it landed on the floor.

"You threw a book!" Remus pulled away with shock.

"Shut up, Lupin," Georgia pulled him back in and wrapped her legs around him. Her body grew excited as she felt his hands travel up her stockings and under her skirt. With her heart beating faster and faster she pulled him closer and arched her back in an attempt to be as close to him as possible. Remus moved his kisses down her neck and drew his hands away from her thighs. Georgia looked at him curiously and upset that he stopped. She remained still as Remus undid the bow that held her hair up and the long black strands fell down over the sides of her face.

Georgia had to laugh, "Is that better?" She asked striking a little pose and shaking her hair up.

"Merlin, yes," Remus went back to kiss her and revelled in being able to run his hands the usually pulled up hair. Georgia untucked his shirt and ran her hands up his chest and down his back.

There was a loud grunt from the end of the aisle and Georgia and Remus quickly pulled away to see Madame Pince stare at them. She moved on and they laughed, resting their foreheads together.

Georgia smiled as she looked up into his eyes and ran a small hand down his face. She gave him one last kiss before hoping off the desk and fixing up her skirt. Picking up her book she turned to see if he was going to come back to the desk with her but it didn't seem like it. "Thanks for the break," she said and walked away tapping the book against her hip and with her hair still tousled.

She made it back to her table and collapsed onto the chair then buried her face in her hands. "So stupid!" She mentally slapped herself. She raked her fingers through her hair and stared at the table. Remus was not like the other boys she played with so why did she just treat him like one. Not that she had been doing any of her usual frolicking since the return of school. He was a good kisser, she thought. With a groan she packed her book bag. Georgia replayed the whole thing in her head, _thanks for the break, _what was she thinking? She had practically just proven that she was a little skank. Now he would think that she was just using him. But she could have had sex with him right then. With another mental slap, Georgia made her way out of the library. She would have to apologise to Remus and hope that she hadn't just ruined their friendship.

Remus had made it back to the Gryffindor common room and fell onto the bed rubbing his eyes.

"Moony," James acknowledged him without looking up from whatever work he was doing.

"I am such an idiot!" Remus threw his hands in the air and let them drop heavily by his sides.

"Aww, why is that?" James finally looked up and stretched.

"I just kissed Georgia," Remus shook his head.

"Georgie! Moving fast, Remus, moving fast. Whatever happened to not even wanting to go on a date?"

"It just happened. We were in the library -"

"Nice setting."

Remus sent James a death stare, "We were in the library and she jumped for a book and sort of landed on me and then everything just got out of hand."

"Is she a good kisser?"

"_Yes, _wait, no that is not the point. The point here is that I have my problems and I should not be pulling other people into those problems. She doesn't need all that. Besides, she'd freak out and leave as soon as she knew the truth."

"You don't know that," James pointed out. "If you like her, which you obviously do, I think you should give it a go."

"Because two negatives make a positive, right?"

"Right," James confirmed with a strong nod.

"I don't know," Remus rubbed his eyes again as he replayed everything in his head. He couldn't decide whether he had just made a grave mistake or not.

* * *

><p>The owls swooped in over the tired students. Snow fell from their wings and landed on the four house tables. James' pitch black owl, Onyx, obediently let James tie the envelope off its claw. He gave the owl a triangle of toast which it bit at while James opened the envelope.<p>

"Your owl is still scary, Prongs," Sirius eyed off the black bird.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get a pretty pink one," James said sarcastically. Seconds later Sirius' barn owl brought an identical letter to that of James'.

"Uh oh," Sirius sighed and they both opened them.

Tearing apart the red seal Lily already knew what was inside. She had already mentally picked out the dress before she even unfolded the cream paper. Her eyes ran across the cursive script. The date had stamped itself into her mind. It was a little different this year, usually they held a New Year's Eve gathering but this year it seemed to be Christmas. It was odd but nothing to worry or complain about.

"At the Prewett's! Honestly, out at that old place with all the piano's?"

"Finchcocks Manor, yes, that's the one," Severus reread the invite while Avery complained.

"I thought the Lestrange family were going to host the party this year."

"They probably were before it turned into a Christmas one. Do they even celebrate Christmas?"

Avery snorted at the thought of the Lestrange family celebrating the holiday. "It'll be your first chance to show Evans off."

"True," Severus scanned the Gryffindor table for the redhead. She sat with her two friends as usual. Lily waved the invite around in the air as she explained something. Since Hogsmeade he hadn't seen her much. He didn't expect anything more but at least he rarely saw her with Potter. Soon enough Lily would come around but the first and most important part was creating the gap between the two Head Students. This seemed to be happening quite easily. James had clearly backed off and Severus had seen the new patrol schedule made by the Head Boy. Still, if there was any connection present he would finish it off next Friday.

Lily stood up and left the Hall herself, a rare occurrence, so Severus used the opportunity to talk to her alone. Putting his invitation in his pocket and walked quickly to catch up to her. He finally did in the cloisters surrounding the main courtyard.

"Lily!" She turned around with a less than pleased expression. "Did you get your invite?"

"Of course," she replied dully, "I've never been to the Prewett's so it should be nice."

"Yeah," she started walking again and he kept up beside her. "It'll be our first one together. We'll be presented to everyone."

Lily looked at him blankly, "I can't wait. Also, please don't get confused Severus. It is our first one together in a contract made by our parents. It is not our first one as an actual loving couple in a healthy relationship."

"But what about Hogsmeade? I thought you seemed to be coming to terms with being in a relationship." He thought about their day together.

"Hogsmeade was a mistake. I didn't know what I was doing and I was confused."

"What is there to be confused about?" Severus was the only one showing emotion in the conversation.

"Everything."

"Potter?" Severus said with distaste.

Lily stopped walking in the freezing walkway to finally put some sincerity into her words, "Severus, when it comes to Potter I have actually done what you asked for." Not really, James just stayed away from her but if she could twist it to suit Severus she would and she did. "I have stayed away from him and we only communicate when necessary. We're back in our old dorms and spend our free time with our own friends."

"Which is how it should be," Severus went to keep walking but Lily grabbed his arm.

"No, no, no. Now I think it is time for me to tell you something. You will stay away from me until I say so, which will be when I've figured things out. Is that clear?" Lily asked with a cruel little smile. Severus didn't say anything. He pulled his arm out of her grasp and walked away.

Lily watched him go, knowing he would do as she said at least for a short while. She looked across the courtyard where snow covered the ground. Through the light snowfall she saw James for a second before he got caught up in a rush of students as the first bell rang for the day. Her side of the cloisters also filled up and she let herself get carried along with the flow to her first class.

...

Evelyn yawned as she took her usual seat in History of Magic, not a good start. Hopefully today they would get back their papers. Noah sat down in the seat next to her which was normally always free.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked.

"I am pretty good, yourself?"

"Alright," Noah unpacked his bag. He thought about his last run in with James and wondered if he should ask Evelyn about things. He didn't want her to get annoyed at him though.

Professor Binns floated in and the student's essay papers landed on their desks. Evelyn let Noah have the first look and their joint essay.

"Ninety per cent, pretty good," Noah handed over the essay.

"Pretty good? That's brilliant! I can't even remember the last time I got a ninety." Evelyn skimmed over the barely readable comments. Binns started droning on about what students did wrong and right then moved onto another topic.

Evelyn caught Noah's eye and smiled excitedly, "Lily will be so proud," she whispered.

"Is Lily okay?" Noah asked.

Evelyn's face dropped disbelievingly, "You don't know?" Noah shrugged, should he know? "Her parents have put her in an arranged marriage with Snape."

"Is that why Potter was upset last week?" Sometimes it was easy to forget that not everybody was aware of Lily and James, Evelyn thought.

"Er, yes, he was upset for her. She hates it, obviously."

"Oh right. Yeah, I asked him last week if everything was okay and he kind of got a bit angry. He was on his way to Quidditch," Noah didn't know why he was telling Evelyn this.

"Hmm, don't bother James when he's in his Quidditch uniform," Evelyn gave a joking smile and Noah relaxed.

"I'll keep that in mind. Any other things I should know?" Noah cringed for turning on the stalker mode.

"I don't know… Never ask Lily questions until she's had her breakfast. If Ben and Mary go into a room do _not_ follow them," Evelyn shuddered at a memory and Noah laughed light-heartedly. "Merlin, what else is there? Never ask Sirius about his family but that's common sense. Why do you want to know?"

Noah just shrugged, "You guys are interesting."

"No we're not, I assure you. We're just… students." Evelyn turned her attention back to Professor Binns and so did Noah.

Binns droned on and Evelyn came up with an idea, "Hey Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't support Slytherin do you?"

"No, why?"

"Well, I was thinking that since you find my fellow Gryffindor's and I so interesting perhaps you should sit with us during the match tomorrow. Georgia sat with us last time so maybe you could come along with her."

"Okay, that sounds good, yeah, thanks."

"And please do not forget about the exam next Friday. You all have a week to study which I believe is more than enough time." Binns said in his monotone voice.

"A test?" Evelyn said more to herself.

"Yeah, he mentioned it a few weeks ago," Noah started packing up his things.

"No he did not!"

"I wouldn't stress about it."

"You've already started studying, haven't you?" Evelyn crossed her arms. How did she miss this?

Noah stood up and pushed his chair in, "Maybe."

"Ugh, Ravenclaws. Okay well, I'll deal with it. You're still good for tomorrow right?"

"Definitely."

Evelyn smiled and bid farewell. Noah watched her leave suddenly very confused. Did Evelyn like him too?

...

"Ready for the game tomorrow?" Sirius looked down beside him and saw his brother.

"I'm always ready to play against my little brother."

"Going to knock me off my broom are you?" Regulus asked casually.

"I'll play nice, don't worry. It's our own Seeker, Benjy Williams that you'll have to worry about." Sirius stirred.

"Is he any good?"

"Didn't you watch our last game?"

"Yeah but c'mon, that was chance," Regulus shrugged off Benjy's last achievement.

"He's good, Reg."

"Are you going to the party?"

"The Gryffindor victory party? Yeah, I might make an appearance, depends how tired I am after the game," Sirius said leaning against a column in the hallway.

Regulus rolled his eyes, "Always the comedian."

Sirius smirked, "I will be attending the Christmas party at the Prewett's. It's about time I saw mum and dad, don't you think?"

For a split moment Regulus looked sad but then he covered, "Will you be wearing the Black family sash or have you burnt it?"

"I have not burnt it. I might wear it, if it goes with my outfit that is." Sirius hadn't actually given it that much thought. Was he still supposed to wear it even though he had surely been disowned? He made a mental note to ask Lady Potter next time he wrote to her.

"I heard about the Evans' and Snape's," Regulus carried on with the conversation. He'd never admit it but he did like talking to Sirius, once he got past all the sarcasm. Regulus knew that it was all aimed at their parents anyway and he took nothing personal.

"Yeah," Regulus could tell he'd hit a nerve, "at least we can be thankful ours never did that."

"For sure, I'd hate it. Poor Lily, Severus is… strange. Why did they have to pick him anyway? There are plenty of other guys on our side –"

"_Your_ side."

"_My_ side of this war."

"Like yourself?" Sirius joked.

"No but surely there would have been someone more suited. I just don't understand why Severus? Mum thinks there is something strange going on between Lord Evans and Lord Snape. Dad says she's ridiculous and that Lily and Severus have always been friends so it makes sense. It doesn't though, it's really peculiar."

Sirius tilted his head in thought, "I wouldn't know anything about it," he shrugged.

"Hey Reg, how are you?" James came up behind Sirius.

"Hi James, I hope you've got your new Seeker all ready to go." Regulus said light-heartedly.

"He's ready," James smiled, "am I interrupting?"

"No, we were just talking about Miss Evans," Sirius said casually without looking at James.

"Oh," was all James could really say.

"Yeah, I was just saying how it all seems a bit strange. I don't understand why the Evans' put her with Severus when there were plenty of others."

"I'm sure they had their reasons, right Sirius?"

"Right, James," Sirius pushed off the column. "Well, we best be off to dinner then."

"Nice seeing you, Reg," James gave a quick wave before he and Sirius turned towards the Great Hall.

"He brought up some interesting points," Sirius started once they were far enough away from Regulus.

"I don't want to know them," James said quickly.

"But they were really something," Sirius pushed on.

"I'm sure they were but I don't need to hear them," James put an end to the topic.

"Where are Peter and Remus?" Sirius asked defeated.

"They're coming. Remus was helping Peter finish an essay."

...

Mary sat on her bed after dinner and flicked through the Daily Prophet. The word _Muggle-born_ was becoming more and more frequent every day and more often than not it was teamed with the word _death_. Her future had been playing on her mind a lot recently. What would happen to her once she was out of school? She had made a point of not needing to be protected but whenever she read this paper she felt foolish. Yesterday a Muggle-born, who she knew to be a very good wizard, was murdered in his own home. Mary couldn't understand why he couldn't protect himself, and if he couldn't what if she couldn't either. What if she wasn't good enough? What if Ben was right and she did need protecting? A tear dropped from her cheek and smudged the ink on the paper when she wiped it away.

Today a Muggle family had been killed. Mary thought about her own parents at home with her younger brother. She couldn't help but think that she would be one hundred per cent responsible if they were to be killed that way. She imagined what it would be like to be Fabius Watkins. His experience was the first major blow for Mary but she had kept silent about it. Ben wanted to save her and she wanted to save her family. She couldn't remember when it had all become about saving but she wished it would finish.

"Mary?" Marlene rushed over to Mary's bed. She had one quick glance at the paper then threw it off the bed. The pages fell apart as they drifted to the floor and she kicked them away. "Don't look at it."

Mary didn't even realise that tears were streaming down her cheeks, "I can't help it and it's all real. It's all happening!" Marlene looked at Mary sympathetically and drew her into a tight hug. "I'm starting to think that maybe after school I should just go and live with my family. Work in the Muggle world and live like a Muggle. That way, if something happens, I would be there to protect them."

Marlene sat back, "That is exactly what they want you to do. To leave the wizarding world and go back to where you supposedly belong. Do you want to give into them?"

"No but I want my family to be safe!" Mary stressed.

"Then shouldn't you stay and fight? Fight for your family and for yourself." Marlene questioned, trying to put some sense into Mary's head.

"But that is so easy for you to say. _The McKinnon's_, you're such a powerful wizarding family, you have nothing to worry about."

Marlene shook her head sadly, "We have everything to worry about just like you and your family. It was so hard to leave this summer because my parents are against Voldemort making them just as much as a target as your own parents." Marlene looked away for a moment in thought, "No one is safe."

It was in this moment that Amelia Bones entered the room, "What's wrong?" She frowned at the paper scattered on the floor but the headlines answered her question. "Edgar is in hospital," she said almost off handily.

"Is he okay?" Marlene asked showing concern.

Amelia smiled, "He's fine, just got knocked around a bit during a duel. He'll be right for his wedding, at least."

Mary had to smile at this. A wedding, Amelia's brother was already fighting and yet he was still getting married. Life still went on. It wasn't long until Lily and Evelyn were also in the room. The girls moved off the topic of war, Lily had an amazing ability of steering away from it. Mary looked at their smiles and happy faces and realised that she had just been so stupid. Marlene was right; she had to stay here and with her friends. How could she even think to leave them behind?

* * *

><p>Noah dug through his trunk for a neutral coloured scarf. The other boys in his dorm leant more towards the Slytherin team so he didn't want to tell them his plans. To his surprise he actually found a maroon scarf which he shoved in the pocket of his coat and left the dorm for breakfast. He spotted Georgia at the Ravenclaw table with her friends. She wasn't wearing Gryffindor colours at all and Noah became a little nervous. In an attempt to ignore it he sat down at a spare spot near some younger students he didn't talk to. The Gryffindor Quidditch team walked into the Great Hall and were met with a loud cheer from their table. Noah watched, as he usually did, as James said something to Lily. He turned around to face Severus Snape who was positively glaring. Not wanting to get caught out he returned to his food without looking up again.<p>

Lily sat shivering in the Gryffindor stands. It never ceased to amaze her as to why she came out for these games in such freezing weather. Alas, she was Head Girl and she supposed it was part of her duty to oversee these things. Next to her was Noah Burke who tightened his coat around him against the cold. She knew Evelyn had invited him up, probably because he didn't have many friends in Ravenclaw, Lily guessed.

"Are you having a good time?" She asked while the students around them jumped up and cheered as Gryffindor scored more points.

"Yeah, it's more fun over here. Gryffindor's really get into it!" Noah replied enthusiastically.

Lily laughed, "They do. I think James has a lot to do with that," she turned to find him out amongst the other players. "He really builds up the sport and the enthusiasm."

"What about you, don't you like the sport?"

"I do but I'm not crazy about it and I don't have the ability to get people to act like this," Lily gestured around the stand.

"I see," Noah nodded. "He was really upset about what happened last weekend," another mental slap for Noah. Lily looked at him strangely and he immediately went to cover, "Evelyn told me, I had asked James what was wrong, I… I wanted to help. He got a bit pissed off though so I asked Ev and she said what's going on with you and Snape."

"Yeah, James doesn't like Severus… much," Lily was trying to imagine James going off at Noah.

"Lily, I may not have much to do with the social scene of Hogwarts but I do know that they hate each other."

"Okay, there was more to it."

"Isn't there always?" Noah faced the redhead who looked into his eyes with a smile.

"Isn't there always," Lily nodded with approval. She liked this guy.

He was a little thankful, a little sad and a little confused. Georgia didn't sit with him. Then again, he didn't invite her to sit with him and she was a Ravenclaw. James attempted to score but the Slytherin Keeper caught the Quaffle and the Gryffindor stands made their opinion well known. Remus was unfazed; James' game had been off since the start.

"Hey Remus, hey Peter," Mary scooted onto the bench next to Remus who sat beside Peter.

"Hi," they both replied and Peter went back to watching the game intently.

"What brings you up here?" Remus asked looking down a few rows to where Mary had once been to see if anything was wrong. Everything seemed fine, Evelyn and Noah were talking and Lily was just sitting there normally.

"I wanted to ask you a question," Mary said as she crossed her arms and hunched over. "How has Ben been?"

"Ben? He's been okay, I guess."

"Oh," Remus quickly noticed Mary's crestfallen expression.

"He'll come around, it's just hard right now, you know?" Remus tried to reassure her.

"Do you think that I was being foolish about not wanting him to protect me?" Mary asked.

Remus thought about it. Honestly he didn't really get that involved in what was happening between Ben and Mary. "I don't know, maybe you both were in the wrong."

Mary was silent for a moment and went several times to say something but stopped herself. "Okay… but what if now I wanted him to watch out and protect me, even though I'm fine by myself," she rushed, "but what if I wanted so badly to get back with him and for him to protect me. Would people see that as just using him?"

Remus and Peter stared blankly at Mary, "_What_?"

"I don't think people are going to think that," Peter said slowly.

"And I don't think Ben would mind. I mean, that is what he wants, right?" Remus continued.

"He wants to be with me again?" Mary jumped at the conclusion.

Both boys stared at her confused then Peter spoke up, "I think you should ask Ben."

Mary's smile dropped, "Thanks guys." She pushed her way through the crowd and squeezed in next to Lily. "Has that Snitch been caught yet?"

"Nope."

"Having fun watching Potter?"

"Having fun watching Wood?"

"I am." Mary replied smartly.

"Good for you," Lily kept her eyes on the game.

"Ugh, Snape's watching."

"What," Lily squinted her eyes and looked at one of the Slytherin stands, "how can you even see that far?"

"I don't know how you cannot! He stands out; he's like the one with the black oily hair, pale complexion, drawn face, evil smile when something good happens to Slytherin or when something bad happens to Gryffindor."

"Mary, you just described the whole Slytherin stand!" Lily covered her eyes and shook her head at her friend.

"Either way, I saw him."

"And does it surprise you?"

"No but how do you stand that?"

Lily was silent while trying to form a sentence in her head. She could easily say _I just ignore it_ which would be a typical answer for her. Or she could just say, "I can't, I hate it and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to act, Mary. I don't want to be in this relationship, _I don't even know if it is a relationship_!" Lily raised her stressed voice over the cheering Gryffindor's something was happening in the game but she and Mary were in their own bubble. "What is it? I don't know! Are we supposed to be boyfriend girlfriend? Or are we single until a certain age or point? Is there a freaking date set?" The people around them started jumping and chanting, screaming with happiness while Mary wiped a tear away from Lily's cheek. "I gave no consent for this! I don't want it even if I can't be with Potter I don't want to be in this fucking mess! I don't want to kiss _him_! I don't want to sleep with _him_!" Lily stopped for a breath. She and Mary looked out onto the pitch where the Gryffindor team stood in the middle huddled in a group jumping around. The surrounding noise infiltrated their ears.

"_Benjy_! _Benjy_!"

"We won," Mary said quietly and only Lily heard it. They were the last to figure this out.

Lily had her eyes set on the group of Gryffindor's down on the pitch who were now splitting up and walking off, "I'm going to get him back."

...

The Gryffindor party was in full swing in the common room. Benjy Williams was quickly becoming the new hero of Gryffindor and James watched on. The short boy made his way up to James who at that moment in time was by himself.

"You are constantly amazing me, Williams," James said.

"I'm doing my best," Benjy smiled proudly. Earning James' respect was better than catching a Snitch.

"I can see that. Is Quidditch something you want to do after school?"

"Yeah," Benjy answered with enthusiasm, "that's my dream. People say it's unrealistic and it's not a proper career but it's what I want."

"Since when did you settle for other people's expectations? You made a point to prove me wrong so why don't you make a point to prove them wrong?" Benjy hadn't thought of it this way. James looked down at the beaming Seeker. He was going to make him Captain next year.

"Have you heard anything from Fabius Watkins?" Benjy asked.

James bowed his head, "No, I haven't. I doubt he will be coming back to school until next term."

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if he stayed on? Like if his parents weren't killed and he was still Seeker."

"I make it a habit not to think about _what ifs_, so should you." James said pointedly and walked away.

Sirius replaced James' space, "Benjy the legend! You really taught my brother some lessons today," he said as he messed up the boys hair. "What's up?"

"I think I upset James."

Sirius sighed, "Nothing can make that boy happy right now, don't worry about it. Now come over here and start celebrating. Miss Bell has decided to participate in some drinking games."

"I have not!" Evelyn pretended to be scandalised.

"But you're going to," Sirius reassured her and Evelyn rolled her eyes.

Ben walked up to Mary in the common room during the Quidditch victory party. He pulled her over to a slightly quiet corner and dug for something in his pocket.

"Mary," he handed her a crumpled envelope with a rich red seal which had already been torn. She looked at him curiously, she recognised the envelope as a similar one sat on Lily's bedside table.

"Why are you giving me this?" Mary pulled out the invitation inside.

"I want you to come with me." Mary looked away from the invite and faced Ben, "Will you come with me?"

"You want to take a Muggle-born to a Noble Christmas party?"

"No, I want to take _you_. I want to take my girlfriend, Muggle-born, half-blood, pure-blood whatever I don't care. I just know that I want you to be there with me."

"What if I get attacked?" Mary raised her eyebrows.

"You're not a first year. You can look after yourself and if not, I'll be there." Ben said and Mary smiled.

"You're serious?"

"I'm not going unless you're going," Ben said.

"I don't have a dress… oh my God," Mary couldn't believe it. She put the invite and envelope down and wrapped her arms around Ben.

"I am so sorry for over-reacting," Ben looked into her eyes then kissed her. He hadn't forgotten how much he loved it.

Lily watched Mary and Ben from the other side of the room. She wished that she could just kiss freely like that. She stood up from the couch where she and some third year boy were doing shot competitions. He had been pestering her for a while now and since Gryffindor won she gave in.

"Surprised you weren't sitting in the Slytherin stands," Lily turned to face the voice behind her.

"Hilarious, James," she smirked and moved closer to the wall so she could lean against it.

"How is it all anyway?" James asked also moving to stand next to Lily. She felt his hand rest on hers and she knew it was no accident. "Hm? Is it anything like what we had?"

"Short-lived, constant fighting –"

"Passionate, exciting –"

"Totally," Lily said sarcastically. "We do nothing."

"You don't have to lie to me," James looked out into the crowd.

"I'm not."

"Does he try?" James asked, still not meeting Lily's eyes.

"Of course he does," Lily took a deep breath, "I'm trying to come up with a plan." She was, well maybe not right now when her mind was a little fuzzy but since the game she had started planning.

"Don't," James said firmly.

"Why not?" Lily moved her hand so it wasn't touching James' anymore. She suddenly felt conscious of the alcohol in her.

"Just don't bother with little plans and ideas. It would be easy to see each other, to create stolen moments but I put you on patrol with Remus for a reason." James looked down at her. He wanted to push a strand of hair out of her eyes but he refrained himself. "Have a good night, Lily."

She watched as he disappeared into the crowd. Hit with the sudden desire to escape it all she ascended the stairs and made it to her bedroom. As soon as she shut the door there was a squeal and Lily quickly noticed Mary sitting on top of Ben.

"Lily!" Mary said through gritted teeth while pushing her hair out of her face.

"Oh! Oh, hey, you two!"

"Lily," Mary sent another warning.

"Right, right, sorry," Lily awkwardly shut her eyes and fled the room. She ran into Evelyn on the stairs and grabbed her hand. "Don't even go there!"

"Ohh, Mary?" Evelyn rolled her eyes dramatically. "Lily I am so gone. Sirius… Bitch…" Lily couldn't understand Evelyn.

"Let's just go," Lily pulled her down the stairs, found a bottle of some something alcoholic and left the common room.

They linked arms and continued to the Astronomy Tower with the alcohol already flooding through them.

"So, how is Lady Lily on this fine evening," Evelyn stuck her chin out and spoke like an uptight Lord.

Lily laughed, "I am very fine thank you! And how is Lord… Voldemort?"

Evelyn stared at Lily with wide eyes then burst out laughing with her, "Err, he is very… swell?" Evelyn tried to say seriously. They held each other up as they walked. "Merlin, Lily, why do I have to be Voldemort? What does he even look like?"

"How would I know!" Lily took another drink.

"Do you think," Evelyn let go of Lily and re-arranged her hair, "do you think he has a side fringe like this?" She held her hair over part of her forehead.

"Pff, no way!" Lily laughed, "He most definitely is doing a Beatles fringe." Now Lily put the bottle down and rearranged her own hair.

"Lily you are shit at Beatle fringes," Evelyn tried to say in all earnest.

"Well I'm sorry Farrah Fawcett but you're no better at side fringes," Lily defended herself.

"Is she related to the Fawcett's?"

"No, I don't think she's a witch," Lily said, "God, I want to know Voldemort's hair style now!" Lily stamped a foot in drunken frustration.

"He has a side fringe. If I have to role play Voldemort in this scenario he has a side fringe! I honestly think that would be pretty dapper." Evelyn stopped to attempt the hair style again in the glass of a photo-frame on the wall.

"If I get killed by a man with a side fringe, Evelyn –"

"I will gladly kill you again. Ugh, fuck it," Evelyn flipped her hair over then back again making it fall at its natural part.

"Thank you."

Together they reached the steps of the Astronomy Tower and gave a great sigh after their laughing but small giggles still managed to escape.

"Mary's going to your Christmas party with Ben," Evelyn said with no real emotion as they sat down.

"Nice, I would take you but," Lily shrugged and Evelyn leaned on her.

"Please," she smiled, "the amount of times I've heard you complain about those things? I'm sure I can find a better way to spend the night."

"I'm sure you could, dearest."

"Besides, I wouldn't want you to be looking after me while trying to get James," Evelyn said with a sneaky grin. Lily pretended to look shocked.

They laughed but then Lily sighed it all away, "I don't think that will be happening at this one." She said, studying the dirt on the step between her legs.

"This one?" Evelyn's eyes lit up.

"Right before fifth year," Lily said with a sad smile. The alcohol made it easy to say.

"What!" Evelyn slapped Lily's arm playfully, "What did you two do?"

"We… did nothing," Lily found humour in Evelyn's quick expression change. "No, we were close though. We had snuck away after a dance and stuff happened then I flinched because… yeah. Then Severus came –"

"He walked in on you!"

"Nooo, listen to me Ev'! Severus was calling out for me and James just left. He left me."

"Is that why you hated him, because he left you there?"

"Yes," Lily mumbled.

"Sleeping with the enemy... I can't believe you almost had sex with James Potter before fifth year. You had kissed him after all the time!"

"I've never told anyone that before," Lily said quietly. A silence fell between them as Evelyn put the pieces together in her head.

"Are you two still, you know."

"No, not since the whole thing with Severus." Lily wouldn't even be able to guess as to what Evelyn did and didn't know and the same went for Mary, when she thought about it. They never openly discussed it, when things started and stopped and started again.

"Do you still want to?"

Lily ran a hand through her hair, "More than anything."

"You will again," Evelyn bumped Lily.

"He doesn't…" Lily's voice drifted off as she started to pick small pieces of white fluff out of her stockings.

"It's James Potter, he can't resist you. He'll give in, trust me." Lily put her head down on Evelyn's shoulder and blinked back a tear. She didn't want to cry about this again.

"Thanks Ev," she whispered.

"Anytime."

"By the way, you should invite Noah Burke to hang out more often," Lily teased with a tired smile.

"Whatever you say, Lil's, whatever you say."

* * *

><p>Lady Potter, who preferred to be addressed as Grace, sat in her old armchair staring into the roaring fire. In her old hands she held a photo of her late husband. She didn't realise how much she could miss someone or how empty the house could feel. Montacute was huge, much too big for one person. Grace rarely ventured out of her own quarters and let the house elves take care of the rest of the home. Slowly, she pushed herself up out of the chair and placed the photo back on the mantelpiece above the fire place. From there she surveyed the other family photos. The only proof she had of the old days, when she had a husband, a lover. She paused at the picture of James and Edward, her two boys. James was much younger in this photo as they stood in front of the river at Avebury.<p>

Frowning, Grace wondered if she had failed as a mother for keeping important information from James. Edward had done everything in his power to let James know everything possible. He taught him spells that were beyond his years and he made it his life goal to have James prepared. Now it felt as if she was holding him back but she just wanted to protect him. He was still her son, her only son, and she didn't want to see him go through that pain. Grace didn't want to accept that her son was past protecting and that he was growing up. She wondered then, as she looked into her husband's eyes on the other side of the glass frame, if would he be disappointed. Would Edward approve of her keeping things from James or would he be angry at her for holding him back.

This was the unbearable part. She couldn't consult him. She craved his advice, she just wanted him to tell her what to do. He needed to reassure her that if she told James he wouldn't go out to seek revenge and get himself killed. A tiny smile played on Grace's lips as she imagined Edward telling her that James is twice the wizard he ever was. He had said that in the weeks before his death. Grace bowed her head and turned her back to the photos. Edward knew, she thought, he knew his time was coming. If only he had told her or prepared her.

"The Fawcett's are here, Lady Potter," a house elf peeked around the door frame.

"I'll be down in a moment," Grace smiled kindly and the elf disappeared. She straightened out her robes and picked up a little box which was wrapped up in pink paper. Quickly, she signed the card she had sitting on top.

_Dearest Olivia _

_Happy 3__rd__ Birthday_

_Love, Grace and James_

Tomorrow it would be a year since Edwards name was missing.

* * *

><p><em>One Year Earlier...<em>

James laughed at something Sirius said about Sophie Barbary, the Hufflepuff he had spent last night with.

"So, is a second date necessary or was the simple one night stand enough for you, Padfoot?" James asked as he stuffed a triangle of toast into his mouth.

"Definitely second date material, I could do all that again," Sirius nodded in reflection. James rolled his eyes and looked out to the other tables. He spotted Regulus Black and frowned, "Are you going home for Christmas?"

"Absolutely not," Sirius scoffed.

"Have you talked to Reg after everything?"

"No."

"I still don't think that you should cut him off. He's still your brother," James sent Sirius a concerned look.

"He's not, James. I don't want to have anything to do with them, _any_ of them."

James put his hands up in surrender and felt a tap on his shoulder. He twisted to see Frank Longbottom standing above him. "Frank?"

"Potter, Dumbledore wishes to see you in his office," Frank said solemnly.

James was a little taken aback but he picked up another triangle of toast for the way, "C'mon Black, if I'm in trouble you must also be," James waited for Sirius to stand up.

"No, Potter, just you," Frank said and Sirius sat back down with a shrug. James followed Frank out of the Hall and up to the Headmaster's office.

Frank placed a hand on James' shoulder as they stood in front of the staircase leading to the office.

"Are you alright, Longbottom?"

"We will be avenged," Frank said then walked past James without another word.

"Okay," James said to himself and ascended the stairs. He knocked on the wooden door and it opened instantly.

"James, please take a seat," Dumbledore gestured towards a chair before sitting in his own. He took in the young Gryffindor, so innocent and unknowing. Then he corrected himself, James wasn't the young innocent boy that used to follow his father like a shadow anymore. Dumbledore squeezed the handkerchief in his hand and forced himself to get this over with, "Something incredibly terrible has occurred over night…"

James stared at the Headmaster as he explained the battle. He didn't believe it at first but the wetness in Dumbledore's eyes must have meant it was true. It felt like his mind was going in and out of conscious, his mouth was dry and his heart stopped spontaneously for seconds at a time. The man that had taught him everything was gone. The Noble families had taken his father away from him as a child and now they had taken him away forever. His throat started to hurt and he didn't know if he could cry or not.

"Who?" His voice was barely audible but he knew Dumbledore heard.

"I am yet to find out," Dumbledore averted his gaze to his desk for a moment. James was not his son and it was not his information to give away. Clearing his throat Dumbledore went on, "I will walk you down to Hogsmeade now. It will only be a small funeral. Your mother has stated that in these times there is no need for all the fuss of a proper Noble event."

James wasn't really listening but he nodded, "Sirius, I want Sirius to come home with me. Remus and Peter, too, I won't go without them."

"Very well," Dumbledore said and they exited the office.

The four boys followed Professor Dumbledore through the Entrance Hall. It amazed James that he could still walk. He avoided eye contact with any of the students and just looked straight ahead, willing himself not to think about what was happening. He tried to think about Quidditch, Animagus, anything to get his father out of his mind but everything came back to him.

James didn't see Lily Evans standing off to the side with a group of girls. She watched the Marauders descend the grand staircase. Sirius caught her eye and she sent him a look that she hoped said sorry. He gave her a quick glance then faced away. It was in that moment that Lily knew, for certain, that she would never be like her family. Seeing the pain that they caused was agonising. She didn't like Potter but he didn't deserve this. No one did. And for the first time, probably in all her life, she felt sorry for him. This was bigger than their own problems which seemed so insignificant right now. The Marauders and Dumbledore had disappeared out into the snow and Severus approached her.

"Get away from me," Lily sent him a warning look. The group she was standing with started walking up the stairs and she made to go with them.

"Lily," Severus held the look of excitement in eyes which disgusted her. "Your father did it!"

"And you are proud of that?" Lily crossed her arms and stood a few steps higher than Severus making her taller than him.

"Yes! Finally, Lord –"

"Shut up! How can you be proud of that?" Lily hissed.

"You hate them, the Potter's, you hate them," Severus said.

"So? That doesn't mean that it's okay. This will never be okay! This killing and everything I hate it and I will not have anything to do with it." She said firmly.

"Your father has moved up in the ranks though. Your family is completely involved now," Severus stated, stepping up a step.

"I don't want to be a part of my family anymore," Lily turned on her heel and ascended the stairs to join back up with her group.

Severus was left dumbstruck.

* * *

><p>Lily stared up at the lines in the wooden posts that made up her bed. Her younger self would make an effort to find the animals in the lines that swirled into rabbits or mice. This morning she just lied there staring unseeingly at the curves. The thing was, Lily couldn't decide whether she wanted to talk to James today or not. He would be sensitive and she knew the other boys would be protective. That was just the way they were. James still didn't know and she was sure of it. She would know if he knew. Lily wondered how James would react. Days had passed and she was still set on getting him back. He hadn't changed, he was still distant. However, if he found out, she would never get him back. Confused with her own thoughts she sat up and ran her hands down her face. Today would be a long day.<p>

She showered and dressed herself, not saying too many words to the others. Mary was silent and Evelyn was running over her history notes while Amelia and Marlene talked about something else as they prepared for the day. Lily's hands had a slight shake as she did up her tie. She told herself not to be so ridiculous, nothing would be happening today. He wouldn't say it. He wouldn't.

James wasn't at breakfast and Lily wondered if he was at the castle at all. She caught Severus' eye from across the room and he raised a glass towards her. Lily quickly looked away as memories of him being so amazed by her father on this day revisited her. She remembered that it was on this day she decided to hate her father. At least she had a father to hate, said a foreign voice in her head.

"Lily, are you okay?" Mary asked and Evelyn looked up from her History of Magic book.

"I'm fine," Lily rushed and accidently dropped her knife on the plate causing a loud clatter.

"Are you going to talk to James today?" Evelyn asked.

"Um, no, I don't think he'd want to talk to me today." Lily gathered herself and pushed loose strands of hair behind her ears.

"I think he'd want to talk to you more than ever today," Mary said quietly. Lily shrugged, they didn't know.

They made their way to potions and Lily, Mary and Evelyn all sat together at a table in the front row. Majority of the students were in the room talking and sitting on the desks. Lily stared at the door waiting for Slughorn to enter. The longer he took the more possibilities there was for something to go wrong. The door opened and the Marauders walked in. Lily watched as James, lifelessly, broke away from the boys and walked over to her. She felt as if it was just them in the room. All other noise had been blocked out as he stared down at her with his empty hazel eyes.

"Can we do patrol together tonight?" He asked.

"Sure, I'll do that no problem," Lily assured him. She felt so stupid because she didn't know how to act. James gave a small smile then headed up the back.

"I told you," Mary said.

Lily went to say something but she was cut off.

"Peers, peers!" Severus made his way up to the front of the room.

Lily felt a wave of heat sweep over her, "I'm going to vomit."

"What?" Evelyn looked up from her book again.

"Today," Severus went on, "is a very sad day for some people in this room." Lily wanted to turn around, she wanted to see what James was doing but she couldn't. An invisible force held her still, staring at Severus. "Today is the one year anniversary of the death of Lord Potter." There wasn't a sound in the room and a small smirk was growing on Severus' lips.

"That is awfully nice of you to remember, _Snivellus_, but that will be enough," Sirius said from the back with a warning in his voice.

Lily finally dared to turn around. None of the Marauder's seemed amused. Sirius was standing, throwing his wand from hand to hand. James sat very still looking potentially murderous and Remus seemed to be keeping an eye on Sirius while Peter sat with his mouth open.

"Oh, Black. Don't you think it is about time everyone knew?" Lily felt the colour drain from her face. Where was Slughorn!

"There is nothing to know, Snape," Sirius said dangerously. He looked down to James who was now confused. He wouldn't let it happen this way, he had promised.

"But there is! You know it, I know it, Lily knows it," Severus paced slowly at the front of the room.

"Please, get to your useless and pathetic point so we don't have to listen to you anymore." James grew frustrated with all the talk.

The corners of Severus' mouth began to curve cruelly, "I believe it should be known that –"

"_Don't_," Lily said but she wasn't heard.

"– it was Lord Evans that killed Lord Potter."

A splash of blood ran across several desks and the door was slammed

Mary and Evelyn exchanged looks of shock through the new empty space between them.

"You knew that?" James was now standing eye to eye with Sirius.

"I wasn't allowed to tell you," Sirius said with a plea for forgiveness in his voice.

"Who told you?" James asked. Sirius quickly looked down to Remus who sat there dumbstruck. "Who!"

"Regulus."

Everyone watched Sirius and James, paying no attention to Severus who was bleeding severely at the front of the room. James turned around to face Remus and Peter, "Did you two know?"

"James… I had no idea," Remus said quietly and believably. Peter shook his head, too lost for words.

James turned back to face Sirius, "Stay away from me." He pushed his chair out of the way and stopped when he reached Snape. With a simple flick of his wand James put the Slytherin through a run of immense pain. It wasn't the Cruciatus Curse but it was the next best thing that James knew. Lily was right, sometimes there wasn't much of a difference between them.

Slughorn arrived in the moment that James left, "What has happened here? Somebody get Madam Pomfrey, immediately!" A lone Slytherin ran to get help while everybody else stayed silent and still.

James pulled the Marauder's Map out of his bag and found her quickly. He smirked at her chosen destination and he used every short cut he knew to get there. James didn't know what he was going to do when he would see her but he would soon find out. He opened the portrait and she stood in the middle of the room facing the other way. She flicked around as she heard him enter. James heard her quick intake of breath and shut the door behind him. The sunlight coming through the windows lit up the dust in the cold air around them.

Lily couldn't be surprised. She just stood there looking at him, at the boy she still loved. A part of her felt that she should be scared of him right now but she couldn't be. An even larger part of her wanted to run her hand down his cheek and kiss him despite what he had just discovered. Lily just waited; he would have to make the first move.

He let his bag fall off his shoulder and land with a loud thump on the floor. "All this time you knew," His voice was weak and Lily realised that she was actually the stronger one in the room, for now.

"I've known for three hundred and sixty five days. I knew on this morning a year ago. I knew as I watched you and the boys follow Dumbledore out into the snow." Lily said to James and he listened silently, "It was then that I decided to detach myself from my family. It was when I discovered the effects of dark magic and when I knew I didn't want to be a part of that."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"If things were different, James, if it were the other way around would you tell me?" Lily questioned. "Would you tell Sirius if you had promised his mother not to inform you that your father killed his? Would you really want to put that extra knowledge on me or Sirius?"

James was silent for a moment, "I would want you to know the truth." Lily shrugged, "How did you do everything with me knowing that? Didn't you ever just want to tell me?"

"No," Lily answered, "I always thought that when we were together we eliminated that part of our lives. The aristocracy, the wealth, the duty," Lily allowed herself to smile in spite of herself, "the deaths. Didn't you just forget about all of that when we were together?"

James looked away from her. She was right because in this moment he found his mind drifting off the matter of the situation. He was forgetting that he was looking at his father's murderer's daughter. In his mind he was just looking at a dark red haired girl who was making no sense and a lot of sense at the same time. He was looking at the girl he cared so much about.

Lily squeezed her fingers with one hand as she watched him look around the room. Being here alone with him made her wonder if something would happen. He told her not to make any plans but could this dreaded event turn into a golden opportunity? No one would find them. She thought that even though they had kept their distances they still held onto everything they had said. He had kissed her when she asked him not to leave her alone, when she had said that she needed him. Surely he knew that that all still remained the same. Lily dared to take a step closer towards him and then another.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked softly, still walking slowly towards him.

"I don't know what to think," James finally faced her again. She had reached him and now they were close. It wouldn't take much to reach out a hand and touch.

Lily made that last step, her stomach was tightening and she almost felt tears in her eyes. "Maybe you should just stop trying to think." She held her breath as she placed her hand on his arm. She flinched at her own touch but she wasn't embarrassed.

"And what are you thinking about?" James asked, placing a hand on the small of her back and drawing her in. He clenched his jaw, knowing this was all about to fall apart. He would hurt her very soon.

"I'm thinking about when you said you wouldn't leave me alone because I needed you," Lily whispered and looked up into his eyes. She pushed away the strands of black hair then let them all drop back as she moved her hand down his cheek.

"I never said that."

"I asked you and you kissed me," Lily said.

"Exactly, I never said that I would stay with you and look after you because you needed me."

"What do you mean?" Lily stepped away from him, "Are you really just going to leave me with – with _him?_" Confusion and fear grew in her emerald eyes.

"Snape will always look after you. Like or not, he will protect you."

"Will you listen to yourself?" A panic rose within Lily, "It is Snape! I need _you_, I've told you this."

"You shouldn't have depended on me, Lily," James said and Lily hit him. She couldn't understand, this was her giving in and Sirius said that James would give in at the same time. Evelyn had also said that he would give in and now was the perfect chance. So why wasn't he doing any of those things?

"How dare you! Don't leave me, James!" She raised her voice while he just stood there.

"There is nothing we can do, Lily. I'm just going to accept it, so should you," James picked up his bag and went to leave.

"You can't just accept it!"

James turned before opening the door. Lily's hair was beginning to fall out and tears began to fall down her red cheeks. "Why can't I?"

"Because you don't accept things! Because you do what you want, damnit!" She grew out of breath, "Don't leave me with him."

"You'll be okay, Lily. I think today has just proven that things are just going to keep coming up that are going to push us further apart. So, to save us more pain I think we should just end things. You didn't really expect me to run up here and restart everything, did you?" James gave her a sceptical glance then shut the door behind him. He heard Lily scream inside but he kept on walking. Perhaps Snape had just done the best thing for the both of them.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading, as always.<p>

Also,_ good luck_ to anyone who has exams right now. I know there's many of you!


	11. A Dangerous Game

Hello everybody! Did you all go well in your exams? I hope so! Thank you so much to all the precious reviews and inputs that you guys gave. A few of you feel that Lily is becoming a bit weak so I'm trying to work on that. I'm not sure if I achieved anything in this chap but I'll definitely focus on that in coming chapters. She's our heroine so I don't want her to be pathetic! Thanks again to everyone who mentioned the side characters - I love knowing what you think of them and I'm grateful for your thoughts. **Black16Lily:** Thank you and I'm glad the chapter was a good distraction from your chem (I personally hate science and dropped it as soon as I could so I hope you went well!). **What:** As said, I'm working on Lily. Thank you for reviewing and telling me though and I'm thrilled that you find my story intriguing. **Aw:** Thank you for reviewing. I'm trying to keep it as exciting as possible but the updates will be slower from now on as I've just started a new job. **Ellie: **YOU WON'T HATE JAMES ANYMORE AFTER THIS! Thanks for your emotional review, loved it! **Jane: **Thank you for your review. It actually gave me a burst of inspiration which I'm thinking about working into later chapter. Which, if I do, it could change the story dramatically. So it'll be your fault! ; ) **Marina: **Good Luck on your finals! Thanks for reviewing and brighter times will come alas this is a depressing story - I won't deny it. **Anna!: **I hope your French final went well. What is your first language? I know mobile profiles are annoying, I never review on them. The whole bank business will come into play later on. Thank you for mentioning Ben and Mary too! Also to **SparklingGems:** Thank you so much for adding my story to your C2s about 20 days ago. I'm sorry I didn't realise until recently but thank you so much it means a great deal to me.

Alrighty, here is the Christmas Ball! Also, please don't get confused - it is not Christmas in this chapter it is about the week before. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"I am going to tell you a secret. Everything is about wanting. Everything. Things happen because of people wanting. Watch closely, and you'll see what I mean." — Ghostwritten - David Mitchell<p>

...

The snow that carpeted the dead grass reflected the moon and made everything seem brighter, as if it were day. The stars shined down from the heavens and onto the great stag that stood alone on the edge of the frozen lake. It was tired after running through the countryside between the castle and small village of Hogsmeade. Everything, every acre, every hidden treasure, every passage way had been discovered. Or so it seemed. They had uncovered everything and now it felt as if there was nothing left.

The stag stood still, desperate for something… anything. A howl and a bark travelled through the frigid air to its ears. They were close but the stag would be alone for still a little while yet. It stared at the ice which was lightly dusted with a layer of snowflakes. It did this until the air stung its large hazel eyes. Slowly, the stag moved closer to the lakes edge where the ice met the dirty snow. One of its long legs stepped onto the frozen water and slightly slipped. Regaining control, the stag tried again. Nothing happened. It then placed another hoof on the ice, then another and another. Very slowly the large animal moved away from the edge. With its heart beating wildly the stag stopped a few metres from land.

Desperate, he had put himself on ice. This was something, this was anything. This, was stupid, or so thought the black dog that stood on the edge between the stags hoof prints in the snow. It barked wildly at the stag on the ice. It could sense it, the ice weakening. Slowly, the stag turned and made its way towards the dog. The urgent barks cut through the air at such a pitch you would think it was in pain. The dog knew what was happening though and every little thing in its body screamed with the plea for get the stag off the ice. Then, the grey eyes of the dog saw the sudden fear in the hazel eyes of the stag. The ice broke with the sickening sound of a crack.

"You fool!"

"Nothing happened."

"_Nothing happened_! _Nothing happened_? Are fucking serious?"

"Nothing did happen. I'm still here."

"And how close you were to _not_ being here isn't even funny. If you hadn't changed back to you and gotten yourself out of that water then changed back in time so Remus didn't kill you… you'd either have drowned or been mauled to death. Is that what you wanted?"

"Since when did you care about this? I'm surprised you didn't run out to the middle. The thrill, the challenge, I thought all of that excited you." James raised his eyebrows and waited for Sirius answer. They stood in the Gryffindor Common Room in the early hours of the morning and slowly things were starting to lighten up outside.

"You can stop acting like this now. It's been a week."

"So?"

"So, you can stop treating me like you barely know me and you can stop doing these stupid senseless things then go on acting like a smartarse afterwards. It's not working for you, James."

"I think it is working fine." James crossed his arms stubbornly.

"It's not, trust me."

"Trust you," James said evenly.

"Trust me. The way you are does not suit you. It's very fifth year and no one appreciates it."

"This is rich coming from you, Black."

Sirius scoffed at his friend disbelievingly, "You don't even know what you are doing. You're letting Snape undo you one step at a time. Slowly but steadily he is taking you apart, breaking you down until you are nothing and most importantly until you are no longer a threat. What use are you if you're like this?" James stared at Sirius, his brother, the Black come Gryffindor that spoke the blatant truth. "You are pushing Lily –"

"Don't."

"– further and further away. All she wants is –"

"All she wants is what she can't have!"

"All she wants is you," Sirius finished.

"Yeah, well all I had wanted for years was her. It is not my fault that karma has come around. It's not my fault that we are who we are in this world. It's not my fault that she left it so late. It's not my fault that she decided to keep the biggest fucking secret from me ever. The same goes for you with that one. Am I not allowed to be angry about that? I could have acted much rasher that day."

"I know."

"But I didn't. I still talk to you, I still… It doesn't matter. Very little has changed between us either way."

"So why did it change so much with Lily?" Sirius challenged the frail James in front of him.

"She is different. It was her father, not yours. Lily…" Sirius could see that it pained James to say the name. "Lily doesn't matter anymore. Her life has been planned. So has mine since I was born. Snape's information only highlighted that."

"Are you just forgetting everything, everything that happened between you two when you were together?"

"We were never together and you have no idea what happened."

"Just like I have no idea as to why you played with death tonight but I think I have a fair idea. You're allowed to be angry at what we didn't tell you but don't keep on treating her the way you are now. Karma or not, James, it's not fair because she still wants you and I know that you still –"

"Just shut up will you? If the way I'm acting doesn't suit me. This caring, promoter of love, saving lives thing doesn't suit you." James had had enough. He turned around to walk up the stairs and quickly make it to bed and shut the curtains before Sirius walked in, which was very soon after. Peter and Sirius exchanged a few words before James heard more curtains close. He laid still, staring at the wooden beams in the roof. Sense returned like a smug friend. He had played with death tonight in an illogical attempt to feel something. And since when did Sirius change? Since when did Sirius also grow up? Or was it just that James, his closest friend, came so close to death that he grew up and acted this way.

* * *

><p>"Remus," Georgia was surprised to see him in the hospital wing and it reminded her of their first meeting that term.<p>

Remus snapped out of his thoughts of last night to see Georgia standing at the end of his bed. "Hi."

Georgia looked around and saw that the young Madam Pomfrey wasn't in so she sat down on the end of the bed. "I'm sorry," she started, "I've been completely absent since… the library."

"You've had your exams," Remus shrugged. "I guess I've been a bit off as well."

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have acted like a little skank."

"You weren't acting like a skank. I wanted to kiss you." Georgia couldn't hold back a small smile. It was then that Remus noticed she had her hair out instead of tightly pulled back. "How did your exams go last week anyway?"

"Good, I felt a little less stressed but then again they're not the N.E.W.T's." Georgia sighed heavily. "How were yours?"

"Fine," Remus shrugged, "I missed you." Georgia felt her cheeks heat up. She bit her bottom lip and moved up the bed. Remus scooted over and she laid down next to him. "Are you here for your medicine?"

Georgia nodded and placed her hands on her stomach, "Why are you here again?" She turned her head to face him.

"Sick once more, I have a useless immune system." Georgia half smiled at Remus' answer. She moved her hand down to her side where Remus had his hand and she squeezed it. "We both have our problems," she whispered. Remus went to say something but was interrupted.

"Brown, Lupin! What on earth are you two doing?" Madam Pomfrey marched into the wing and Georgia sat up with a start.

"I'm sorry, I – we were just. I need more medicine before I go home." Georgia struggled with her words and she could hear Remus stifling a laugh behind her.

Madam Pomfrey raised an eyebrow then disappeared into another room. Georgia quickly whipped around and gave Remus a kiss, "Merry Christmas, Remus." She was up and standing when Pomfrey returned. Georgia accepted her prescription and made to leave, "See you after the holidays." She grinned at the Gryffindor and disappeared through the double doors.

* * *

><p>The last feast for the year was finished and Noah pulled a small box out of drawer along with some brown paper, scissors, tape and thin purple ribbon. He checked the gift inside again before closing the lid for the last time. He was alone in his dorm while majority of the Ravenclaws partied in the Common Room. He turned on his small radio and was delighted to find that they were playing Christmas carols on some Muggle station. The mood was set with the music and snow falling heavily just outside the window next to him. He laid the paper out on the bed under the gift and cut it to size. He could have easily used magic to wrap the present but he wanted to it himself like his mother did Christmas. He used to help her by holding the paper in place as she cut the sticky tape and taped it down.<p>

Noah didn't realise, however, how tricky it could be to wrap a small box on your own. He mused on the thought as he taped down one side and grew annoyed at the box for slipping out the other end. Life must be hard to go through alone as well. He could have very well used some help with this wrapping just like he could very well use some help in real life. Also, it was awfully lonely wrapping the gift himself compared to wrapping gifts with his mother. Life, too, would be lonely without someone and hard without someone to lend a hand every now and then.

Noah fiddled around with the ribbon for some time. It certainly wasn't his specialty, ribbons. Eventually he finished the bow and was proud of himself when it looked just as good as the bows Georgia Brown wore in her hair. Next, he wrote in the card. It was sentimental and a very Muggle-like thing to do but he thought it was a good idea. He couldn't give her a present without a card. Soon enough that was finished too and Noah slid it into its envelope and neatly wrote her name on the front. He put it all in his coat pocket and headed down to the party ready to go.

* * *

><p>"So I'll just meet you there?" Mary asked nervously.<p>

"Yes, then we can laugh at everyone," Lily assured her. The students of Hogwarts that were going home for Christmas trudged through the snow making their way to Hogsmeade Station.

"Is it silly that I'm nervous, it is, isn't it?" Mary asked again.

Lily smiled, "Don't be nervous, nothing will happen. Only the nice people will talk to you. Anyone else wouldn't bother. Are you going to visit me, Ev?" Lily turned to the brunette.

"Should do, I'll save you from your boredom." Evelyn didn't really want to go to Lily's. Lord Evans scared her but if it would make Lily happy then she supposed she could grin and bear it for a day or two.

"Love you," Lily smiled. They walked up the steps to the platform and Lily separated from the girls to find James. It was the duty of the Head Students to make sure everybody got on the train in a timely fashion. She spotted him at the other end of the platform with his hands dug into his coat pockets and shoulders hunched against the cold.

"Hey," she greeted timidly.

"Hi," James replied blankly.

Silently they watched the student's crowd around the doors of the Hogwarts Express and slowly but steadily board the train.

"Are you looking forward to going home?" Lily asked in an attempt to start a conversation and forget about the cold air burning her cheeks.

"It'll be the second Christmas without my father. My mother will be depressed while Sirius will make awkward attempts to lighten the mood. Totally looking forward to it," James answered with heavy sarcasm.

"I wish you would stop being like this," Lily moved to stand in front of him.

James averted his gaze, "I wish you would stop pretending that nothing has changed."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you regret it?"

James cast his eyes down at Lily and thought about her question. The pros and cons of both answers ran through his mind. When he didn't answer soon enough Lily rephrased her question.

"Basically put, James, would you go back and do it all again? I know you would have saved me from Remus, you would do that for anyone. But would you have still touched my hand that time in front of Severus when he was asking me to join him. I know that was your way of telling me to stay with you. Then would you have still done all the flirting and the dancing at McGonagall's ball? Would you have still climbed into bed with me that night?" Lily quickly looked over her shoulder and made sure no one was close. "Would you have still slept with me the night after? It was _you_ who initiated that. Then would you have still slept with me all those times afterwards and come to me after our fight due to what happened with Mary?" Lily finished and waited. She felt empowered by her words and sudden streak of confidence. James' face had softened as she retold their relationship and Lily could tell he wishing for those times again.

"Of course I would," James answered and Lily's face visibly lit up. "But things have changed."

"If the moment presented itself would you forget that things have changed?"

"I don't know. I don't know how to feel, Lily, I'm sorry for the way I have been but I don't know if I could go back." James decided to take down a few of his barriers against her. She looked so angelic in front of him now. Her cheeks were pink and her emerald eyes stood out from her white face. Her red hair moved ever so slightly in the bitter breeze, detaching itself from the scarf he had once wrapped around her neck.

"You should know then that I would give anything to do it all again. Maybe even relive the night before fifth year." The whistle sounded just as Lily finished her sentence and she didn't waste any time getting away from James. She thanked Hagrid and boarded the carriage that the girls had decided on earlier. James watched her board before he moved from his spot.

"C'mon Potter, can't have these kids waiting any longer now," Hagrid said to James whose mind was elsewhere.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

James walked down the skinny corridor of the carriage trying to find the Marauders.

"James!" A voice behind him called out and James turned around to see Noah Burke.

The Ravenclaw shut the door behind him and approached James with his gift in a shaky hand. "I don't mean to bother you but do you know where Evelyn is?"

James looked from Noah to the present then Noah again and smiled, "They're in the next carriage. Is that for her?"

"Do you think it's stupid? I just thought, you know, we've had such a nice term together I thought it would be nice. It's too much, isn't it?" Noah degraded himself unable to look at James, a person who would know exactly how to act around a girl.

"Every girl loves presents. I didn't realise you were interested," James leaned against the wall and watched Noah struggle to come up with a reply. The train started to move and Noah tried to keep his balance as it went through the paces.

"I – I don't know. I mean," Noah let out a sigh, "I guess I am. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing this," he held up the small box.

James tilted his head to the side, "Do you want me to help you? I could go with you and sit in with Mary and Lily while you talked to Evelyn outside. That way you wouldn't be alone while asking for her."

"You would do that?" Noah almost beamed.

"Of course, so shall I come with you?" James stood up straight again.

"Okay, if you're sure, that's fine." They started walking down the corridor to the other carriage. It was only then that James realised what he had gotten himself into, Lily would be there.

They reached the room and James gave Noah an encouraging pat on the back, "Good luck," he said then opened the door and waltzed into the room. He did not expect Ben to be in there sitting next to Mary so that meant he would have to sit next to Lily once Evelyn left. "Ev, Noah needs to talk to you outside," he said casually.

"Oh, okay." Without a question Evelyn left the room and James sat in her place. He felt Lily looking at him but he avoiding her gaze.

"Noah, what's up?" Evelyn asked.

Noah had put the box inside his pocket and was now just holding the Christmas card in its envelope. "Nothing, I just missed you out on the platform so I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas." Noah smiled and did his best to calm his nerves. He handed Evelyn the envelope, her frown made his heart leap with worry.

"I'm sorry Noah but I didn't write or get you anything," she said upset with herself. If she had known she would have.

"No, no, it's okay. It's nothing special," Noah felt the present in his pocket press against his leg. He felt stupid for even thinking of it and was thankful he had just given her the card. Now he feared that the words inside would be too much.

"Oh, well, thank you," Evelyn wrapped her arms around Noah for a brief moment then pulled away. "Merry Christmas, Noah," she smiled and began to turn to go back inside her cabin.

"Merry Christmas, Evelyn." Noah waved.

James was only too relieved to see Evelyn open the door. It had been awkward sitting next to Lily with Ben and Mary practically sitting on top of each other across from him.

"Alright then, I'll see you lot at the party. Evelyn, have a good one."

"I will," Evelyn sat back down in her seat and pocketed Noah's card for the time being.

"So, how'd it go?" James asked curiously.

"I didn't give her the gift just the card."

"Oh," said James, somewhat crestfallen, "well that will be nice anyway." He spotted the Marauders in a room soon after they started walking. "Well, this is me, did you want to join?"

Noah was sure he heard wrong, "Join you?"

"Yeah, or do you want to go back to your other compartment?" James had already opened the door and Noah felt a slight pressure as he heard Sirius talking and Remus laughing.

"I guess I could join," Noah breathed in deeply and told himself to be cool.

"Great," James grinned and entered the room with Noah behind him.

Noah couldn't believe it as he sat between James and the window. Remus sat across from him and kept conversation when James and Sirius went off on their crazy discussions. Peter was also very kind and talkative. It felt like he was with the Kings Court. The most famous group of Hogwarts were acknowledging him. The whole time he felt out of place and nervous but it wasn't as bad as he thought. After weeks of watching them from afar they seemed so different up close. Noah knew this was a one off though. Once school returned everything would go back to how it was but now he would have Evelyn to worry about.

* * *

><p>"You look beautiful, Lily," Snape approached her and ran his hand down her bare arm. Goosebumps appeared on her skin at his touch. She crossed her arms as she stared in the mirror at the two of them. Snape was infiltrating her room, her private sanctuary in a house of hate and pressure.<p>

"Thank you," Lily mumbled trying to ignore him. His fingers ran over the bare part of her back that would usually be covered by her hair which was held up tonight.

"I've done what you asked. I've stayed away from you, given you your space. How is everything going for you?"

"Good," Lily answered with no intention of saying more. She wanted to cringe and react to his hands that were now running down her arms as he stood behind her. She willed herself to stay still though and endure it for it could not last much longer surely.

"Potter's been treating you poorly, I know."

"Why does everything come back to him? Why are you so obsessed?" At the mention of James her whole body went into an instant crave for him. She wished it was him touching her now, how different things would be.

"I'm not. I'm simply concerned for when someone is treating you like that."

"He's not doing anything wrong. He doesn't hurt me," Lily said.

"Oh, but he does. I want you to just forget about all of that tonight." Severus kissed her cheek and Lily held her head high even though Severus was taller than her so it didn't make a difference. "I want you to have a good time." He moved around and kissed her other cheek. "There are a lot of people you haven't spoken to in a few years that would love to hear from you. Also I would like us to have a good time tonight."

He stood in front of her, blocking her view of the mirror. Gently, he placed his lips on hers. It wasn't rough or forceful like it had been at the ball. It wasn't anything like that at all. Lily didn't particularly kiss back but she didn't pull away either. A bizarre curiosity held her there. She felt him place a hand on her back to draw her in closer.

"It's okay," Severus whispered to her and pulled away. He gave her an encouraging smile and left the room, shutting the door gently behind him. Lily stared at herself in the mirror. A single tear rolled down her cheek to her neck where she wiped it away. This could not be how life would be from now on. Everything felt so cold with Severus, his touch was like ice. With James, however, it was like a fire. Everything was warm and passionate causing Lily to feel alive and she was determined to get that back.

...

Lady Wood saw her son pass the door to her and her husband's room as she sat at her vanity. Smiling to herself she opened the bottom side drawer and pulled out a wooden box with her family crest on the lid. Gently, she opened it and pulled out the light blue silk and ran it out along her desk. Then she opened her own jewellery box and found a suitable brooch. Happy with her decision of a small rose made out of petal shaped diamonds she picked up the sash and made her way for Ben's room.

She knocked and a beautiful girl with honey blonde hair falling over her shoulders answered the door.

"Lady Wood, hello," Mary opened the door so Ben's mother could walk inside.

"Please Mary, call me Jennifer," she smiled and walked over to the full length mirror that leaned against the wall. Mary followed her and stood a few metres away. Jennifer was gorgeous for her age. Her simple red dress flared out from the waist and it reminded Mary of a real princess.

"Can I help you?" Mary asked timidly.

Jennifer smiled, "You look stunning, Mary," she admired Mary's light pink lace gown and remembered the days when she used to wear such dresses. "But, you know, I think you are missing something, something very important."

"Oh," was all Mary could say as she ran all the possibilities through her mind.

Jennifer held up the light blue sash and rose brooch, "_This_ will finish your outfit, don't you think?" Mary remembered to keep her mouth shut as she stared at the silk stunned. Jennifer laughed a little, "Come here and I'll put it on for you, unless you don't want it?"

"No, I would love to wear it. I'm just surprised. I thought that was only for family members." Mary tried to form sentences as she made her way to Lady Wood.

"It is and I consider you family. I want you to wear it, Mary, and who knows, maybe one day soon you really will be family." Jennifer smiled as she clipped the sash together at Mary's hip. "Now I couldn't give you the normal pin which is the one with the family crest but I thought this one was just as nice."

Mary looked down to survey the brooch and immediately fell in love. Jennifer moved so Mary could see herself in the mirror. She couldn't wipe the smiled off her face, "Thank you."

"It suits you," Mary tore her eyes away from the mirror to see Ben leaning against the door frame grinning at her.

"Are we all ready to go?" Lord Wood entered the room behind Ben. "Mary! You look perfect, Ben is so lucky to have such a beautiful girl in his life."

Mary felt her cheeks go red. The family quickly ran over the destination and back up plans in case anything was to happen. Ben assured Mary that it was normal procedure and that he will be beside her the whole time. After everything was covered they apparated to the Prewett's for the ball, all wearing their light blue sashes.

...

"Ingrid!"

"Black, is James still in his room?" Sirius blocked off the brunette in the black strapless gown. She had changed. She crossed her arms and looked up at him waiting for his arms to drop.

"Why do you need to see James?" Sirius asked.

Ingrid let out a sigh and tried to pull down one of Sirius' arms but it wouldn't move. "Just let me get through."

"Why are you wearing so much make-up these days?" She actually wasn't wearing too much but it was more than usual school face. Her hair was something of a untidy masterpiece; it was held up messily with parts falling down in curls.

"Oh Merlin, c'mon," Ingrid pushed Sirius but he stood still, staring down at her. "What's wrong?"

"You've grown up Miss Vance," Sirius said quietly.

"And you have not Mr Black," Ingrid replied smartly. "Now, I think you should let me through to James."

"What if I want you to stay here?"

Ingrid stepped as close as she could to Sirius and he dropped his arms to rest his hands on her. Somewhere in this split second Ingrid managed to get on the other of him and continued on down the hallway. "You've lost your touch, Black!" She called out then disappeared around the corner.

Sirius watched the space where she was. Her perfume still lingered in the air. Ingrid Vance, how did he miss her?

She didn't knock before she entered and once in the room she was disappointed to find it was empty. Frowning, she made her way for the door when another side door opened and James walked into the room.

"Ingrid?" At the sound of her name she turned around and smiled. James held out his arms and she walked into them and hugged him back. They stayed like this for some time, she had missed him and he had missed her. Breaking the hug, Ingrid looked up at him and messed his hair.

"Why don't we talk at school anymore?" She asked.

"Because you're not cool enough," James answered with a shrug. Ingrid rolled her eyes and slapped James' arm. She picked up James' sash and pins and instructed him to stay still while she put them on.

"What's wrong?" She asked seriously.

"Nothing," James answered.

"James, I know you better than that. You can't lie to me." She was right. James and Ingrid had been friends since, well, since Ingrid was born. A photo of a two year old James holding a newborn Ingrid sat on one of the shelves at Avebury. However, once James started Hogwarts they had drifted apart but still acted as if nothing had changed once they were together again. "Who is she?"

"No one."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Ingrid asked seriously.

"Fifth year Hufflepuff, hmm," James pretended to think about it.

"You're avoiding the question." Ingrid ignored him. She stepped back after pinning James' sash together and pinning other decorum to his dress coat.

"It doesn't matter." James said, hoping that the topic would be dropped.

"It's the Head Girl, isn't it?"

"What makes you say that?" James asked looking over Ingrid's head.

She shrugged, "Don't know, just a guess. I heard about her."

"Hasn't everyone?"

Ingrid smiled knowingly, "I suppose. You two have been abusing the Head Dorms haven't you?"

"We're not in the Head Dorms anymore."

Ingrid looked up confused, "Why not?"

"We were moved back into our old rooms after everything with her and Snape."

Ingrid's eyes widened at the news, "Pays to be in Gryffindor, nothing ever happens in lousy Hufflepuff. So let me rephrase, you two _were_ abusing the Head Dorms." James didn't say anything to her so she kept going. "Why don't you both keep doing it on patrol? Everyone knows that's what the prefects do."

"Since when were you like this?"

"I know about sex, James."

"Who was it?"

"Not the point," Ingrid looked away, "you're as bad as Emmeline."

"Well, she's your only cousin."

"So? Back to the topic, why don't you two just, you know?" Ingrid did something of a little dance.

"There's more to it than that." James said as he pocketed his wand and made his way for the door with Ingrid close behind.

She walked quickly to keep up with him, "You love her?"

When James did say anything Ingrid grabbed his arm and pushed him against the wall in the hallway. "What are you doing?" James asked on the verge of anger. This was none of Ingrid's business. If she cared so much, where was she when everything was falling apart?

Ingrid moved her body up close to James' and repeated her question, "Do you love her?"

James clenched his jaw as he looked down at the girl who was only six yesterday but was now sixteen. She was beautiful and her wide blue eyes stared up at him waiting for his answer. If it were another day, another time, another life, James might have actually considered Ingrid to be more than a friend. How easy it would have been. They were on the same side of this war and Noble family divide. Their parents were close and nothing horrible could have come from it. Out of nowhere James wondered what it would be like to kiss her. With her whole body against him now, he couldn't help but drop his head slightly and almost part his lips.

"You're pathetic," Ingrid said with venom and stepped away annoyed that James couldn't answer her question. James snapped out of his thoughts and saw Ingrid as he usually did. As the cheeky little mouse that caused trouble through her mischief. As the young innocent girl that was simply playing dress ups tonight. She turned on her heel and held up her dress as she walked away.

"Yes," his answer made her stop and turn to look at him sympathetically.

"Then you know what to do," Ingrid said from a few metres away. She started to walk away from James again.

"Wait, you need to say more than that," James called out to her but she ignored him. He was suddenly desperate for her to keep talking to him. It was as if she knew more than he did, as if she had the answers. A house elf appeared next to him making him flinch.

"Everyone is ready to go now, sir." James thanked the elf and made his way to the foyer. He stood next to Sirius as Emmeline talked about how dangerous tonight will be. Everyone stood about in a circle listening to her with concerned expressions. James caught Ingrid's eye and she gave a small smile. He could tell that she wasn't interested in what Emmeline was saying and he was in the same boat. The Death Eaters had had plenty of chances to take over parties, so why now? Emmeline finished and everyone prepared to apparate from Montacute to Finchcocks.

...

The Prewett's ballroom had been decorated immaculately. A large Christmas tree stood off to the side with oversized baubles and fairies fluttering around it as lights. A glowing star sat on the top and red ribbon laced its way through the thick branches. Soft Christmas music could be heard beneath the chat of guests. Everybody was in high spirits as they entered the room and started drinking and eating. Parents ushered their children into a side room and shut the double doors behind them with the delight of some children free time. The snow falling outside could be seen through the tall windows making it seem extra warm inside as a fire blazed in the grand fireplace. While smaller flames flickered passionately on candles which sat proudly on large chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling.

Lily entered with Severus and her parents. The beauty of the room warmed her. Looking around at the crowd she caught her breath at the sight of him. Whenever James wore his complete Noble family dress robes he always looked so much older than he really was. The deep red sash and decorum made him appear to be someone that one would look up to and admire. His hair was still a mess which added too much sex appeal for Lily's liking. She fell for all of this years ago and now after not being close to James for some time it was all happening again. Severus put his hand on the small of her back and led her further into the room drawing her attention away from James.

He had seen her looking at him. She was beautiful tonight and she, too, looked older. Her school uniform and casual clothing had been traded in for a long flowing navy chiffon dress. Her hair was pulled up and held in place by a clip which sparkled with what could very well have been diamonds. James wouldn't put it past Lady Evans to buy her daughter such an accessory. He looked away as Snape led Lily into the room. He couldn't get caught up in that tonight. Everyone was here.

"That's her isn't it?" Ingrid asked from James' side.

"Do you pay any attention at school?" James said in amazement.

"What do I care for Head Students? I've got nothing to do with them." Ingrid shrugged.

"You know I'm Head Boy right?"

"_No way_!" Ingrid looked surprised and James' mouth dropped. "Of course I know you're Head Boy," she dropped her act. "Are you going to talk to her?"

"No," James answered quickly.

"The seventh room on the first floor to your left is a guest room," Ingrid said slyly.

"What?" James looked down at her. He was quickly becoming unable to handle her. "Is everything about sex with you? You're just like Sirius when we were your age." James also didn't fail to notice that Ingrid was about the same age as Lily and he was when they had first attempted.

"I was merely suggesting," Ingrid held her hands up in defence.

"And may I merely remind you about the people here tonight."

"But that's what makes it exciting right?"

"No, that doesn't make it exciting at all. That makes it dangerous –"

"_Thrilling_."

" – and not worth it." James said pointedly. "I don't know how much you care about being Noble and what side you're on and what roles you play but –"

"Woah, woah, woah, James," Ingrid held up her hands again. "Before you start your lecture please be reminded that I am a girl. I play very little importance to the world of Nobility. I am simply here to make children, preferably boys, to pass on surnames and inheritances. And, in the end, it doesn't even matter who I marry. I could go and marry some Muggle and no one would probably care. I know you hold a lot of responsibility and I know what you're about to enter once your schooling finishes. But really, you're young for a few more months. If you can get away with something, something you want with someone you love then," she shrugged, "then why not?"

"It was that train of thought that got me to where I am now with her," James said in a low tone.

Ingrid sighed, "Do whatever you want, James. I've said all I have to say about it." She walked away and disappeared into the crowd.

"Darling, come with me. There's some exciting news to be shared." Grace found her sons hand and dragged him through the crowd. She stopped at the Fawcett's. James greeted them and felt his heart leap when he spotted Lily facing the other way just beside them talking to Molly Weasley.

"James! Pay attention," Grace nudged him and he came back to focus.

"Sorry," he said to the couple in front of him. "How are you both?"

"Well, I just had to tell Grace the other week when we went over for Olivia's birthday," James smiled at the thought of the little girl, "but we wanted to tell you now that I'm pregnant again!" Lady Fawcett squealed with excitement while her husband kissed the top of her head.

"Wow, congratulations!" James exclaimed. Lily turned around to see what the commotion was about and Molly joined the group.

"Did I hear right?" She asked with Lily beside her. "You're pregnant, Trisha?"

"Yes, she is," Lord Fawcett declared proudly, unable to wipe the grin off his face.

"Congratulations," Lily said sweetly. She glanced at James then left the group. James watched her go as his mother and Molly gushed over Trisha. He didn't miss the look in Lily's eyes.

...

"Mary!" Lily held out her arms and embraced her friend. "I'm so sorry I haven't found you earlier."

"That's okay, I've been meeting a lot of new people." Mary waved off Lily's apology.

"How boring," Lily frowned.

"No, it's been okay. I think Ben has been picking out the interesting ones." Ben nodded to Mary's statement.

Lily's eyes lit up as she noticed "Look what you've got on!"

Mary bit her bottom lip as she smiled, "I know, Ben's mother let me wear it tonight."

"I don't think we'll be able to get it off her," Ben said. "Are you okay if I leave you with Lily for a short moment?"

"Sure," Mary reached up to kiss him and let him go.

"I'm so glad you two are okay again," Lily said as she watched Ben disappear into the crowd.

"Me too, he's been great. We had a little run in with Avery but Ben handled it."

"You feel okay though, right?" Lily asked, referring to whether Mary was having problems due to being cursed not so long ago.

"At first I was scared that someone here would take the chance to do it again. Or something else entirely but as you can see I'm never alone. Also, I think there are way too many people here for them to even think about it. So I feel okay, I'm enjoying myself."

"That's good and you're right, you're completely safe here." Lily reassured her.

"Yeah and if not they told us the safe house which is James'," Mary shrugged.

"Shh, don't say that again, okay?" Lily warned.

Mary quickly put over her mouth realising her mistake, "Oh my God."

"No one heard, don't worry about it." Lily linked arms with Mary and started walking around the room. "It's going to be so great having you at these things. There are not many other people I like here."

"I've met a few nice people. Emmeline Vance and her cousin Ingrid are really nice. You could talk to them." Mary suggested.

Lily frowned, "I don't really know them."

Mary realised what was really happening. Lily had no one on her own side to talk to and she didn't particularly know anyone on the other side. It was here that Mary felt sorry for Lily. She had heard her go on and on about how boring these things were but really, Lily was at a total different party to Mary.

"Well I'm here now," Mary squeezed Lily's hand and smiled.

...

"Lord Potter?"

"That's my father," James said before he turned to see who it was.

"Not anymore, your father is dead." James could not miss the faint smile that flashed across the man's lips just before he sipped his wine. He was looking right into the eyes of the man who killed his father. He did not possess his daughter's emerald eyes. Instead, they were a cold heartless grey, something of a trait in many pure-blood families.

"That doesn't make me Lord Potter." James couldn't decide whether to address the matter of his father's murder or not.

"At least not until you're eighteen, I suppose." Lord Evans had another sip of his drink. He scanned the room and smiled at something, "How is it being Head Boy with my daughter as Head Girl? I've heard that you two get along well." There was a knowing in his voice.

"She's fine," James said indifferently.

"What do you think about her and Severus?" Lord Evans caught James' stare and held it ensuring there was no way out of the question.

"I have no thoughts about it. That's their life, not mine." James' stared back.

"A life that you wish you had."

James allowed himself to laugh lightly, "I would never wish to be Snape nor would I ever want to be in a relationship that was arranged for me. I am in no way jealous if that is what you are trying to discover."

Lord Evans broke the stare and smiled more to himself than anything else. He sighed and looked over in Lily's direction once more, "You can have her." He surveyed James for a reaction and revelled in the look of confusion on the young man's face. "You heard right, you can have her. I can break deals as fast as I can make them. She's all yours."

James knew better. His father had told him about this, "I don't want your daughter. Tell me, why would I want the daughter of the man who killed my father?"

Lord Evans raised his brow admiring James' talent at picking up a trap. Lord Potter had been exceptional at this as well and had clearly passed the skill down to his son. "You know."

"I know," James almost smirked.

"He put up such a fight. It really did come down to one or the other." Lord Evans spoke reminiscently, as if the battle was a fond memory of his. His voice changed as he spoke again, "You will have the same fate, James Potter."

Now James did smirk, "No, I won't."

"You think you're better than you're father?"

"No, I just know I am better than anyone who would try to kill me." James thought on Snape at this moment but he knew there were other's out there that would just as happily end his life, also ending the Potter line at the same time. Double victory.

"Come to our side," Lord Evans was direct but it didn't take James off guard. He had almost expected it.

"You're wasting your breath."

"If you come to our side you can have Lily. She will be yours. You won't have to be a secret anymore. You two can walk around at these parties together. You can have a family." He sipped his wine again.

"You're proving yourself to be very foolish right now. There is no secret to be kept. I don't want to walk around these parties with Lily, all she does is whine. And I repeat, why would I want to be with the daughter of the man who killed my father? How do you explain to your kids that one of their grandfathers killed the other? What a _touching_ story that would be. Lastly, I would rather die, like my father, than follow Voldemort." James spoke the last sentence a seriousness he had never experienced before.

"My offer still stands. Think about it." Lord Evans gave James a once over and turned on his heel.

James looked up to the ceiling as if looking at his father in the heavens and sighed. That was more difficult than he had ever imagined. He saw that Lord Evans had begun talking to Snape and Sirius seemed to be in deep conversation with Andromeda. He spotted a double door that was slightly ajar. He knew who was in there and he smiled at the thought. James made his way through the crowd to the other room and closed the door behind him. The room was decorated with a small tree and garnishes. There was tinsel and baubles hanging off the tree and children's Christmas music filled the room.

"James!" A little girl with long black ringlets ran over with her arms held out.

"Olivia!" James exaggerated his excitement for the girl and lifted her up high above his head. "I missed you," she wrapped her arms around his neck as he walked over to an armchair. Olivia Fawcett sat happily in James' lap as some other kids came over to see who the newcomer was. James instantly recognised the two Weasley boys but the other kids he wasn't too sure about. Olivia was the only one he really knew. He had spent a few days with her during the holidays when her family visited and she had become very fond of him during their short time.

"I'm bored," She rested her head against his chest and inspected his different brooches and badges.

James laughed, "I am too, O."

"Can I go out there with you? Mummy and Daddy won't let me."

"Mine never let me out either and no, you can't. However, I will stay in here with you. How about that?" James asked.

Olivia nodded with enthusiasm but then gave a rather long yawn and James knew she would fall asleep on him. He chatted with the Weasley boys, Charlie and Bill, and a few of the other kids about Christmas presents and Santa Claus. Olivia continued to sit peacefully on his lap without saying a word.

.

Lily, from the other side of the room, spotted James enter what she knew was the kids room. Excusing herself from Ben and Mary she made her way across the room without too much hassle. Slowly she opened the door and peaked in. James was sitting in an armchair with a little black haired girl sleeping on his lap. If James was older you could mistake the child to be his daughter and a little thought played out in Lily's mind. It gave her excitement and heartbreak at the same time.

"He used to hate it in there and now you can't get him out." Lily spun around at the familiar voice.

"I remember. You and James used to always peek out of the doors and cause trouble." Lily smiled warmly at Sirius.

Sirius moved around Lily so he could also peek inside. Lily watched as Sirius smirked then faced her again. "The little girl is Olivia Fawcett. She told me last summer that she has a crush on James but shh you can't tell anyone." Sirius said with a completely straight face.

"It's our little secret," Lily stifled a laugh and looked back into the room.

_What if I made a family with James_? Lily's words reappeared in Sirius' train of thought. They were still so young but he supposed girls thought about that sort of thing. He wondered if Lily was thinking the same thing now as she watched James with little Olivia. She hadn't known about her future with Severus when she had first said that about James.

Sirius closed the door gently and Lily looked at him strangely, almost upset, "Why did you shut the door?"

"I know what you're thinking about."

Lily raised her perfect eyebrows, "Really, what was I thinking about?" She crossed her arms.

"You were imagining that Olivia was yours and James' and what it would be like to have a family with James. It's no secret to me that that is what you dream of. I haven't forgotten about what you said on Halloween." Sirius accepted a glass of wine off a passing tray and waited for Lily's response.

"So why couldn't you just let me imagine it for the tiniest moment?" Lily was upset now. "You got away, Sirius, I didn't. My whole life is now planned out for me because I didn't move fast enough. Because I wasn't brave enough to let go of the people who don't even care about me. You said that even though James was great he couldn't compensate a family. Maybe not for you but for me he could have. So why couldn't you just let me have a moment where I could imagine that he did?" Lily's eyes were turning red with the threat of tears.

"Pretending won't get you anywhere, Lil's. It will only hurt you more. You don't know that you would have had a family with James anyway if you weren't with Snape."

Lily thought about it. Sirius was right; there was never an ultimatum between her being with James or Snape. There was no guarantee that she would be with James if it weren't for Snape. In all likely-hood she probably would never have had anything to do with James after school.

"I'm sorry things have turned out the way they have." Sirius spoke sympathetically and began to move away from the door, feeling that James would soon re-join the party. Lily turned in another direction to find the wine. James would give in tonight, he had to.

.

Severus found her and began talking about the conversation he had with Lord Evans. Lily wasn't listening as she finally spotted James out amongst the crowd again. She caught his eye and he stared at her as well for some time as he moved throughout the people. James gave the smallest smile before he turned away and Lily turned back to Severus. Her stomach gave a small leap, it was time. Possibilities ran through her mind and excited her. After a few more minutes she searched for him again to find that he was looking at her. Severus had left and Lily began to move through the crowd as James did. Frequently they caught each other's gaze and kept it. Each time Lily's heart began to beat faster. The same exhilaration that she felt in fifth year returned with a rush.

Lily had finally reached the large entrance doors to the room which were open. She looked over her shoulder to ensure that James was watching her. He was and Lily walked out with her head held high. No one interrupted her as she walked up the dimmed staircase. Quickly she paced down a long hallway, her heels made the only noise on the hardwood floor. She flicked her head around and she made out his silhouette at the start of the hallway. Lily's heart jumped and she prayed that he wasn't about to pull everything out from underneath her again.

James had tried, all night, he had tried to ignore her but now it had become too much. He faced the fact that Lily was never going to go away. In his mind and in reality. She was always there, trying to get him to break again and again. It was a dangerous game she wanted to play and there would have to be new rules, he thought as Lily turned a corner slowly.

"Alright, Lily," James whispered, he was in. Tired of following, he quickly caught up to Lily and pushed her against the wall. Her sharp intake of breath excited him like it always did. He held her arms up against the wall as well and leaned into her ear. He could feel her breathing against his hair and it almost killed him to put everything off for just a moment more.

"You realise what you're doing?" He whispered to her.

"Yes," Lily answered confidently.

"And you realise that it will be different to before? _No one_ can know this time."

"I know," Lily said as she closed her eyes and revelled in being so close to James again. "So are you going to give in like they said you would or are you about to tear everything out from underneath me? Leaving me alone, _again_. Because James, every day you are starting to prove to me that you are not the man everyone makes you out to be. The man _I_ made you out to be."

"So the man I'm made out to be is one that encourages cheating and acts like a little side toy for you when things get tough with Snape?" James challenged.

He felt Lily laugh at him and her hand break free from his. It ran through his hair and finished on his shoulder. "No James, you are _everything_. I'm only alive when I'm with you, I only feel when I'm with you. It is you not Snape. He is nothing but a roadblock in my life and how is it cheating when I consider myself completely yours?" Lily whispered passionately.

James had nothing else to say and he couldn't put it off for any longer. Finally he kissed her forcefully in the dark corridor. Lily's knees went weak at the feel of James' kisses. The knowledge of everyone being downstairs made her blood rush as she remained trapped between the wall and James' body. He rest his forehead against hers breathing heavily.

"Let's go," he pulled Lily along by her hand. James counted the doors and finally he pulled Lily into the dark seventh room and kissed her passionately again. He found his wand and locked the door then threw the wand on the floor. Now it was just them like it used to be. Lily ran her hands down his chest under his shirt and heard James moan. She then rested her hands on his shoulders and slipped off her heels causing a difference in height.

She couldn't waste any more time. Every part of her had been craving James and now she had him again. She pulled off the familiar red sash and pushed off his dress coat. The noise it created when it landed on the ground brought back the memories. His shirt was removed next and Lily threw it away hastily. James started kissing her neck and undid the side zip of her dress. It fell lifelessly to the ground and Lily stepped out of it. She jumped onto James and wrapped her legs around his middle as she forcefully kissed him, unable to get enough. He undid the clip that held her hair up and dropped it on the ground. Lily's deep red hair fell over her face in a mess, making James need to kiss her again.

He carried her to the guest bed and they both restarted everything. Nothing had changed, everything was the same as it was before but now they both acted as if they only had the smallest amount of time to get this done. Quickly he took off his pants before lying on top of Lily. He held her small frame in his arms as she wrapped a silky smooth leg around him. James moved down and kissed the top of Lily's breasts which were still in her black satin bra. Her breathing became heavy as James continued to lightly run his hands all over her. Down her sides and up her thighs. Lily let out a groan that she couldn't contain anymore.

"Don't you like a little foreplay?" James whispered dangerously into her ear pushing himself against her.

"Absolutely not," Lily felt James smirk against her face at her reply. Through all of the emotions she was feeling, an intense rush of anger ran through her. James said he'd always be there but then as soon as he found out the truth he had left her in the dark. Left her to rot with Severus and now he was smirking at her inability to resist him. He was mocking her, "I hate you, Potter," she said through gritted teeth.

James was violently pushed onto his back and Lily sat flirtatiously on top of him. Her hair was a wavy mess and it looked as if they had already had sex. Her lingerie teased him in a way it never had before. Now Lily had control. With her emerald eyes narrowed she held both of James' hands above his messy black hair.

"Then you're awfully sexy when you are angry, Evans," James teased again. "But I know you don't hate me."

"I do."

"Then prove it," James challenged. The rest was quick and rough. Lily gave James everything and remained in control the whole time. She loved the effect she was having on him and sex had never felt so good or gratifying. The heat and passion between them was something she could never achieve with anyone else. James breathed heavily and held onto Lily's arms tightly and she collapsed onto him and her head rose up and down as it rest on his chest. Her eyes fluttered closed while James ran his fingers lightly up and down her back.

.

Mary felt a rush of coldness sweep over her as she heard the glass of two windows shatter. Hooded figures began to fill the room from the grand entrance and the smashed windows. The first curses were already being sent and the temperature in the room dropped as the cold outside air replaced the warm air from the fire. The large tree was on its side and the music had stopped and was replaced was screams and shouts. Mary felt a hand grab her arm tightly and she jumped with her heart. Before she knew it, the scene had changed and she was in a small quiet room.

.

"Did you hear that?" James sat up alert.

"No, what was it?"

Silently they listened for more and a loud scream came from downstairs. Without a word they both jumped up and quickly put on their clothes. More noises and screams were coming from the ballroom. Lily could hear her own heartbeat begin to rise within her. She looked over at James who had an expression of determination. They both knew what was happening and they were both about to run head on into it. Within a minute or two they were out in the corridor again running towards the stairs.

"Wait," Lily stopped James and kissed him. She put everything into it as if it would be there last. She went to say it but James cut her off.

"We have to go, Lily," James urged and squeezed her hand. She nodded and they descended the stairs and ran into the room of people and immediately separated. Lily looked back but she couldn't see James anywhere. People were screaming and running. Black hooded people walked around casting spells at families. Loud cracks of people apparating with their children could be heard among the spells and screams. A million things were running through her mind. She told herself that Ben would have taken Mary away already. That James and Sirius could take care of themselves. They were clever and were basically born for this. It was all a blur and then everything was dark. At first Lily thought that she had been hit but she could still see colours of light flying through the air. She cursed herself for not bringing her wand, how foolish of her, she thought. Then again, the women rarely brought their wands and if they did their husbands carried them as they had nowhere to put them.

On the other side of the room Lily saw a green light. Her heart stopped. People were being killed. The panic inside Lily was extreme. She was standing in what could end up being a massacre. A shrill laugh filled the room and Lily looked in the direction it was coming from. From the dim lighting she saw a bald man with a bright green light coming from his wand. It was him and though Lily never thought it possible to hate anyone more than she hated her father, she hated this man more than anything. Above all other noise she heard her own name being called. It was undeniably Severus but then she saw something that would haunt her forever. The lady she knew to be pregnant lied still on the floor. Her breath got caught in her throat. She looked around the room and saw the man that the lady was with earlier fighting. She wanted to scream but instead she ran for the double doors that were close by and shut them behind her as she entered the room. It was empty but she could hear crying. Frantically, Lily opened every cupboard and on her last try she found her treasure. She scooped up the little girl and without a second thought apparated.

There was a second of silence in Lily's bedroom then the girl screamed at the top of her lungs and vomited on Lily's shoulder.

"Olivia, shh, it's okay. I won't hurt you," Lily wiped the tears off her own face and she immediately regretted apparating. It had caused Olivia to be sick and Lily knew she shouldn't have done it. "Please calm down," Lily said desperately. "We'll find James, you love James! I'll get you back to him. He'll make everything okay." Lily attempted to sooth the child though it could be confused that she was also trying to calm herself. She sat on her bed and grabbed some tissues for the vomit as she held the crying girl tightly. The image of Olivia's dead mother burned itself into Lily's memory. With every attempt to think straight the image would come back and reply itself again and again making it impossible to come up with a plan.

.

They were gone within a second. A small fire crackled in the corner behind over turned tables. The Christmas tree laid on the ground with shattered glass from the baubles surrounding it. A silence filled the air as everyone realised what had just happened. James could hear his heart beat as his chest heaved. There were people who weren't even Noble in the room. James spotted Dumbledore in a corner and he wondered if his arrival had caused the rest to leave. He looked around desperately but couldn't see who he was looking for anywhere. He joined in as people started to call names.

"Sirius!" There was no reply so James began to run around and push past people, "Sirius!" It was all too surreal as he ran to the other side of the room and still could not see him. He called out more becoming completely unaware of the devastation around him, "Sirius!"

A painful shout came from a man that was louder than everything else. James looked over to where it had come from and saw Lord Fawcett on the floor holding his limp and pregnant wife. Dumbledore had put out the fire and made his way over to the couple. James forced himself to look away. In his peripheral vision he had spotted him. Wasting no time he ran over and embraced him quickly then let go.

"What… That was him, wasn't it?" James struggled to form a sentence.

"You're bleeding," Sirius said and point to the spot on James' cheek.

"Oh," James wiped the area and a small amount of blood appeared on his hand.

"Everybody!" the people left turned to see Dumbledore standing with his hands raised. "I believe we should proceed to the safe house." Without question the people that were left apparated to Montacute House.

As soon as Sirius and James appeared they felt Lady Potter wrap her arms around the both of them. Tears ran down her face as she kissed James' cheek.

"I've been so worried," she said to the both of them. More people appeared around them, the last ones being Lord Fawcett and Dumbledore. At the sight of Lord Fawcett, Grace broke down. "It's true?" She asked James who nodded.

"Is Ben and Mary here?" Sirius asked and James shut his eyes. He had completely forgotten about them.

"Yes, I sent them up to James' room."

"What about Ingrid?" James asked running a hand through his hair.

"She is up there too with a few other young ones."

"Where is Olivia!" Lord Fawcett cried to anyone.

"I'm sure somebody has her, Michael," Dumbledore said gently, "I believe this is a very suitable time to have a meeting." He said gravely.

Everyone gathered in the drawing room. The Potter's, Prewett's, Longbottom's, Lord Fawcett, Vance's, Wood's and other people against Voldemort all sat around a long table.

Dumbledore began to speak gravely and everybody listened without a word. A house elf sneaked into the room and placed a folded piece of paper on James' lap then scurried out again. Dumbledore stopped speaking as James unfolded the letter and everybody looked on.

"Excuse me," he pushed his chair out and tapped Sirius' shoulder as a sign to join.

"Where do you think you are going?" Grace spoke up.

"I won't be long."

"No, no, neither of you are going out!"

"Let them go," Dumbledore said quietly and Grace settled down. She watched her boys leave with a pain in her heart. She couldn't lose James as well and the moment James was gone so was Sirius.

Silently they put on their coats and scarves that hung from hooks near the front door and walked out onto the gravel path that led to the front gate.

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked tightening his coat around him against the cold. The hot air escaping from him as he talked was visible in the frozen air.

"Lily's here," James answered simply. As they reached the gate he could see her standing underneath one of the lanterns.

"Isn't it dangerous for her to be here? What if they follow her?" Sirius argued.

"I think she would have made sure of that before." James said.

"Hi," Lily said quietly. She adjusted Olivia who was now sleeping with her head rested on Lily's shoulder. Both James and Sirius paused once they saw Lily with Olivia. "I – I saw her mother so I found her and left," Lily explained. "Is her father still…"

"He's here," James reassured her. "Are you alone?" Lily nodded and he unlocked the gate taking Olivia from Lily. The little girl woke up at this and started to stir.

"Well, you better get her inside. Don't worry about the coat. I just found it in my old – very old things. She can have it." Lily said in an uneasy manner.

Sirius looked at Olivia and noticed the olive green cashmere coat with oversized black buttons. "Alright, thanks Lily," he turned to go back to the house, it was too dangerous out here. "James, let's go."

James was deaf to Sirius as he watched Lily, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine but I best get back," Lily said. "Is Mary here?"

"Yes, how did know you this was the safe house?" James asked.

"Mary let slip." Lily admitted. They shared a moment then he nodded, locked the gate and turned around to follow Sirius back.

Lily watched James and Sirius walk away with Olivia. In the distance she could see a man and a woman standing at the front door to the house. The man started running towards the boys and Lily guessed this was Olivia's father. She smiled to herself when she saw James hand Olivia over. James turned back to her for a quick moment before he shut the door behind everyone. Once he was gone all the lanterns around the her flickered off. Lily stepped back away from the gate and started walking down the country road towards the black figure that stood in the middle.

"What did they say?" Severus asked.

"Nothing, she is with her father now," Lily said indifferently.

"What about her mother? Wasn't she there too?"

"Her mother is dead. Did you know about tonight?" Lily asked.

"No," Severus answered honestly.

"Did you kill anyone tonight?"

"No," he answered again.

"But you didn't save anyone, did you?"

"Actually I did, I saved your father." Severus admitted proudly.

"From who?" Lily asked sceptically.

"Sirius Black."

"It wouldn't have been a killing curse then."

"No, but that doesn't mean it wasn't dark magic."

Lily wouldn't put it past Sirius from using a low form of dark magic if the moment presented itself. It didn't matter though. "I'm going home now. Thank you for telling me about your friend's house."

Lily couldn't help but acknowledge that the only reason she made it here was because of Severus. She had never been to Montacute House before so she needed him to tell her the closest place she could floo to. Thankfully, he knew someone very close by so it wasn't a long walk from there to the Potter's. She looked fleetingly back to the house in the distance where Mary, James, Sirius and Ben were.

"Okay, I'll visit you when –" Lily didn't hear anything else he said as she apparated back to her house.

Lily jumped at the sight of her mother sitting on her bed.

"Why are all your best childhood clothes laying around? I was saving them for your own children." Lady Evans gestured around the room.

"I brought a little girl back here during the fight. I was just returning her then." Lily began picking up the small clothes and throwing them back in a box.

"The house elves will do that, Lily." Lady Evans said and Lily stood up straight with her hands on her hips. She could see that her mother was tired and so was she. "You're not like us, are you?"

Lily stared at her dubiously, "Why do you say that?"

"I am assuming that little girl wasn't from our side."

"No, she wasn't."

Lady Evans cast her eyes down and folded her hands in her lap. "You're like my mother, your Grandmama. She would have done the same. She would hate me right now for what I'm putting you through."

"She would." Lily said confidently.

"Your father has his reasons. Reasons he won't even tell me but it will keep you safe. You are safe with Severus."

"No I'm not, mum. Where was he tonight?"

"Where were _you_ tonight?" Lady Evans redirected the question.

"At the party," Lily answered. "I was in the house the whole time."

"There was a decent forty five minutes when I couldn't find you anywhere."

"It amazes me that you were even looking for me." Lily didn't regret her words despite the obvious pain in her mother's eyes.

"Believe it or not, your father and I keep tabs on you. I look out for you at those things, you know. There are people there with not the best intentions."

"Yes and that would be dad and his friends. Where on earth could I have gone anyway?"

"Well, curiously, I asked Grace, Lady Potter, where her son was and she said she didn't know." Lady Evans searched Lily's face for a hint.

"James? You think I was with James?"

"I thought it was possible. As I said, you are not like us, Lily. I guess I've known all along but tonight when you didn't fight, you didn't run but you rescued a little girl I really saw it." Lady Evans paused for a moment and Lily waited for her point. "James is very attractive, just like his father was at his age. But Lily, please, for your family's sake, do not ruin things with Severus. Lust is cured with time."

"Do you realise that you have no idea what you are talking about?" Lily gaped at her mother and pushed her hair behind her ears. It was only then that she realised she had never picked up her clip from the Prewett's guest room floor. Lily bit her bottom lip in desperation that her mother didn't notice.

Lady Evans smiled sadly and lifted herself off the bed. Slowly, she walked over to Lily and paused in front of her. "What will you do when you and James meet in a battle and people are watching? How will you feel if he casts the first curse? How will you feel when he is cursed and is on the ground in pain or dead? Because you will not be able to react. Or how will you feel if it is you on the ground after being hit and he doesn't come running to you? I'm not saying that you were with James tonight. I'm just saying that _if_ you were, it was incredibly unwise." Lady Evans lightly brushed past her daughter and stopped at the door for one more word. "And please do find that hair clip that you have somehow misplaced. It is an important heirloom." Lily looked over her shoulder with wide eyes but her mother had already shut the door, leaving Lily to herself.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading!<p> 


	12. Christmas

Hi everyone! I wanted to get this chapter out today because it's my birthday and I'm going to be unable to write for a little while. It's not as intense as previous chapters but that's how I wanted it. I'm so happy you are all loving the direction the story is going in. I really get so excited when reading your responses! **Nonamoss: **You just reviewed and spent the whole night reading so here is the next chap for you when you wake up! I don't really have a proper updating schedule but it usually happens about every 10 days or so. **TR:** Thank you for your review - I'm trying to keep things as interesting as possible! **Ellen:** I'm doing my best with Lily. As said last time it's taking a few chapters to get there. Thanks for reviewing and telling me though! **Ellie:** Thank you for reviewing again! I love your reviews and sorry that the story sometimes gets frustrating (not really) ; ) **Anna:** Hi again, you're Dutch? That's cool! Lily's mum doesn't know about James and Lily. She was suspicious but she has nothing to work off so no she doesn't know. **Black16Lily:** Thanks again! **DarkBlackRoses**: Your review gave me this major rush of inspiration! That's all I can say : ) **Jane: **I love your enthusiasm! I tried to update as fast as I could. And **Lizzie: **This is the really exciting stage of their relationship I think. It'll be better than the last time.

I apologise in advance for any major errors. As said, I wanted to get this up before I have a week or so off. Thanks to every one again! Love you all.

* * *

><p>"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."<p>

Eskimo Proverb quotes

_"So you decided not to wear it?" Regulus eyed his brother up and down._

_"Mother Dearest disowned me so I guess I'm no longer required to wear rubbish that associates me with the Blacks." Sirius shrugged it off. It felt odd not wearing the sash but it felt better than being connected to them. He had run into his mother once already tonight and neither said a word. She simply gave him a look of disgust that masked her sadness at losing a son. Sirius just kept on walking; there was nothing left to say to her._

_"Where's Potter?"_

_"Dunno, why?" Sirius did a quick scan of the room and guessed that James was still with Olivia._

_"You two don't tend to fight your battles alone." Regulus shrugged avoiding Sirius' eyes._

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"Perhaps you should find him," Regulus said in a distant voice as he looked out into the crowd. Sirius rolled his eyes and walked away, not caring to hear Regulus' nonsense._

Sirius stared blankly a lone Quaffle sitting in a corner of James' room. Regulus had known what was going to happen and Sirius wondered if he was ever actually going to say it. He had warned him to find James but James had left Sirius' mind as soon as he left Regulus. The whole thing confused him.

"So it'll be called the Order of the Phoenix?"

James' voice snapped Sirius back to life. "It has a very Dumbledore ring to it, doesn't it?" He added.

"Certainly does. Do you think it will be effective though?" James turned from the window and back to Sirius who lied on his bed.

"I think it will, yeah," Sirius nodded in thought. "They have their army so we need to have ours. The Ministry can't handle it so their needs to be another group as well as the Aurors."

* * *

><p>Lily tied the envelope to her owl and walked onto her balcony with it perched on her arm. Once she reached the edge it flew off into the grey mist and she watched it until it was no longer visible. Her hair whipped in the wind and she narrowed her eyes against it. Hopefully everything would go to plan and he would be willing. Shivering, she walked back inside and packed up her quill and stationary. Having spent the best part of her morning trying to word everything correctly Lily now considered it time to face her family, for a few minutes at least. She grabbed the so called heirloom and set off to find her mother.<p>

The house elves were putting up the Christmas decorations and dusting the banisters as she made her way down to the first floor of the house. Her mother was where she expected her to be, in the main living room sitting peacefully in her armchair next to the fire. Lily made her way over to her and sat the hair clip on the small table next to her mother's chair.

"Where did you find it?" Lady Evans asked curiously as she put down her book.

"I don't know where it was. I stood outside the house and summoned it. However, my guess is it fell out in the children's room when I was looking for Olivia."

"I suppose that makes sense. What have you been doing all morning?"

"I went and got that then I've just been writing Christmas cards to Evelyn, Mary and a few friends at school." Lily answered simply. She sat down on the arm of the lounge, something Lady Evans hated.

"Christmas cards… what a very Muggle thing to do." Lady Evans said distastefully.

Lily shrugged, "I think it's a sweet gesture."

Lady Evans had no reply for her daughter in regards to Christmas cards being sweet. She slipped a lace bookmark into her novel and sat it down on her lap. "Did you send Severus a card?"

Lily scoffed and continued to watch the fire dance in its little home, "I'll be seeing him on Christmas so there's no point."

"Would you send him one if you weren't?"

"No," Lily said honestly.

Lady Evans sighed, "I had heard from people at Hogwarts that you two were spending time together. That you even went to Hogsmeade with him."

"I was confused. I didn't know how to act but now I do." Lily said with determination.

"And how is that?" Lady Evans raised her eyebrows waiting for Lily's creative answer.

"As my own person, I'm not _marrying_ Severus, mum."

"You will. It has all been set. You will finish school, have a few years together then marry once this war is over."

"See, I didn't even know that was the plan," Lily turned to face her mother. "_No one_ has told me anything. You threw me into this horrible scenario and assumed I would accept it lying down. You have no idea how that felt, mum!" She couldn't remember the last conversation she had with her mother that produced so much emotion. "You have no idea how that destroyed me," Lily pointed towards herself as she started to grow angry that her mother failed to show any affection. "It was like grandma dying again, another full stop in my life which was once more completely unsupported by you. And may I ask just one simple question?"

Lady Evans nodded silently.

"Why?"

"Because it grants you safety."

"There has to be more than that," Lily crossed her arms.

"I told you last night, Lily. There is more but I don't know what it is."

"What mother puts her daughter into something that she doesn't know all the small print to?" Lily challenged.

"A mother that cares for her daughters safety above all else," Lady Evans answered without hesitation.

Lily broke the eye contact and looked out the window onto the ugly grounds of dead grass and grey skies. The snow had melted and now everything was just dead. "There is a flaw in your plan."

"And what might that be?" Lady Evans watched the back of her daughters head tiredly.

"You say we're going to get married after the war."

"Correct."

"People die in wars." Lily gave her mother a striking glare then left her alone with the heirloom.

* * *

><p>"Remus!" Mrs Lupin called from downstairs. Remus groaned not wanting to get out of bed, it was far too cold for that. "Remus! You have a guest."<p>

Curiosity pulled off the doona and Remus put on his red hoodie and didn't bother about changing out of his pyjama pants. Disgruntled at why anyone would bother him, he slumped down the stairs and joined his mother at the door.

"Hey!" _Oh God…_

"And no funny business," Mrs Lupin whispered into her sons ear as he followed the beautiful black haired girl up the stairs into his room.

"Georgie, what brings you here?" Lupin asked rubbing his eyes.

"I've just come from Lady Fawcett's funeral," Georgia said in soft voice. "I didn't want to go home just yet but it seems you were having a day in bed." She tilted her head surveying Remus' pyjama pants.

"I was reading and it's the holidays," Remus defended his actions. "Was your family close to the Fawcett's?" Sometimes Remus forgot Georgia was from a pureblood family that had these connections.

"Oh yes, mum and Trisha were close." Georgia avoided eye contact as she spoke. "I saw James and Sirius."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I'd never seen James so…" she paused in search for the right word.

"I know what you mean." Remus said and Georgia relaxed.

"Are they okay after what happened at that party?" Georgia decided to make herself comfortable on Remus' bed. She crossed her legs and leaned back on her hands as he started to rummage around his room.

"They're fine. It's James and Sirius, they know what to do. They're great apart and brilliant together and I believe they would have been fighting together." Remus finally found a clean shirt and stood up straight. "Are you right here while I go and freshen up?"

"Sure," Georgia smiled and Remus left her alone in his room. She got up off the bed and wandered around. There were plenty of photos of the Marauders in and out of school. Actually there was quite a nice one of the four of them at a spot she recognised in London. Volumes of books stood proudly collecting dust on Remus' bookshelf. And, as in any boys' room, there were clothes everywhere.

Georgia heard Mrs Lupin talk to her son outside the door and she listened carefully.

"So, who is she?"

"Georgia Brown."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Not quite." Georgia nodded in approval of Remus' answer. They would sort that out today.

"What are you going to do today?"

"I don't know. Any more questions?" Remus said impatiently.

"Alright, alright. Off you go."

Remus opened the door and Georgia pretended to be busy looking at something.

"Right so what is your plan?" Remus asked dumping his pyjamas and hoodie on his bed.

"How about Diagon Alley? I still have some Christmas shopping to do." Georgia suggested hoping Remus wouldn't see it as stupid idea. She wanted to forget about this morning and get back into the Christmas spirit.

Remus perked up at the thought, it wasn't such a bad suggestion, "Sure, why not?" They put on their thick coats and winter accessories and within moments they were in the bustling Diagon Alley. It was always a spectacular sight at Christmas. Decorations for the season hung of every available space and pristine snow sat on the top of window awnings and roofs. Wizards and witches ran about with bags full of presents wrapped and tied with a bow. A group stood to the side outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour singing carols and Remus brought a small paper bag full of roasted chestnuts for breakfast as they started their journey into the throng of people.

"So what did you need to get?" Remus asked, throwing a bad chestnut on the cobbled ground.

"Well, I think I will buy my daft brother a book on something to do with herbology. He's obsessed with all that." Georgia said rolling her eyes.

Remus found this rather strange, "Were you're parents as tough on your brother as they are on you?"

"Absolutely not, mum loves herbology so he was the prized child. They don't approve of his divination loving girlfriend though. I think they will get married actually."

"So why are they pushing you?" It still didn't make sense.

Georgia pushed her hair back buying time, "I think they saw the potential and they want the best for me. I know they do but they're doing it all wrong. Also half the problem is me. I'm putting the pressure on myself too."

They entered Obscurus Books and made their way to the plant section. As Georgia flicked carelessly through the books, Remus' mind wandered through a range of different thoughts. He wondered how James and Sirius were. James would be dying inside. For the first time ever Remus sort of wished there was a transformation coming up in the next few days. He knew that James and Sirius let out a lot of frustration on those nights. Remus then thought on Georgia who was now crouching down scanning titles. Every time they were together he was finding out more and more as she opened up. He was, however, completely lost as to where they stood with each other. She kissed him then she acted normal. He didn't know what he wanted and he was sure she didn't either.

"Found one!" Georgia jumped up with a thick book on magical plants in Madagascar. "He definitely does not have this one. Are you okay?"

Remus put on a smile, "I'm fine, what's next?"

"Actually that's it. Are you hungry?"

"Always," Remus said as he followed Georgia to the check out.

"Even after those chestnuts? You ate them pretty fast."

"They were breakfast and now it's lunchtime."

"Alright then," Georgia thanked the store owner and walked back out onto the street.

"Leaky Cauldron?" Remus suggested as a place to eat.

"Have you ever tried any other the other restaurants in this street?" Georgia asked.

"Why would I? Leaky does the best pies."

"Fair enough," Georgia laughed and they began to walk up to the other end of the street. Remus talked about how his family celebrates Christmas while Georgia looked up at him smiling causing her to bump into a tall man dressed in black.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly not thinking much of the situation but the man blocked her from moving on.

"You better watch out blood traitor," Georgia finally looked at the man properly and realised it was Serverus Snape's father. Looking behind him she could see Severus, his mother as well as Lily's parents.

"It was an accident," Remus said standing tall. Lord Snape raised his eyebrows and cast his gaze down to Georgia. Before another word could be said, Remus pulled Georgia away sending a glare in Severus' direction. They made it quickly to the Leaky Cauldron and found a quiet booth.

"I hate them so much," Georgia said as she pulled off her coat and sat it down next to her. "They're always sending threats to my family because we're pureblood but not supporting Voldemort. Where was Lily?"

"I don't think she spends time with her family if she can help it."

"I thought they would have forced her to go out with them and celebrate the day." Georgia said thinking back on the funeral.

"No, they can only force her into so much. She's pretty good at standing her ground when she wants to," said Remus admirably.

"Sounds like you have a high regard for her," Georgia said teasingly.

"No, seriously, Lily has her times when she falls, like recently, but she really does all she can to go against her family. Unfortunately it's getting harder and harder for her to do that though."

"I never understood why she just didn't do what Sirius did."

"She had her reasons," Remus sighed. "Pie?"

Georgia laughed, "Pie."

...

_Not today._

That's all it said. That's all that was written in his slanted handwriting on a small piece of paper that had been ripped off a larger piece. She felt her heart sink. She had been hoping that he would be able to see her somewhere but with everything going on it made sense. Lily collapsed into the large armchair that sat in the corner of her room. She tapped her wand against her leg in deep thought. A sense of curiosity overcame her and an excited smile grew on her lips. _What if?_

Not really trying her best she lazily flicked her wand and whispered the incantation. Nothing happened and she wasn't surprised. Choosing another memory she tried again and a wisp of silver smoke evaporated into the air. Not bad, she thought. Lily stared up at a crack in the ceiling as she tried to think on another memory. There wasn't many to choose from. Deciding on one with her grandmother she stood up, stretched out and focused.

"_Expecto Patronum!_" She called and more smoke than the last time appeared and vanished. Lily slumped down into the chair again slightly frustrated. She wanted to know now what her Patronus was. Because what if it was what she thought it may be? And if it wasn't that then what was it?

"Lily Evans!" the door burst open and Lily jumped as Evelyn waltzed over and threw herself onto Lily's large bed.

"Make yourself at home," she said with a smirk.

"I will. I saw your parents down in Diagon Alley this morning so I thought it would be a safe time to come over and indulge in some Evans family wealth." Evelyn rolled over the bed and walked into Lily's wardrobe.

Lily watched her from the chair, "Was Severus with them?"

"Yeah and his parents," Evelyn confirmed from the smaller side room.

"Must have been a lovely family outing," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Where are your new things that your mum brought while we were at school?" Evelyn called out. Every holiday Lily came home to a new dress collection that her mother had brought while school was on. It used to thrill Lily but now it was just simply convenient and she didn't care much for them. Evelyn loved the dresses though and after Lily showed them off to her mother once they usually got passed on to Ev who loved it. When she found out that Lily was either burning the dresses or throwing them out she almost died and now adopted majority of them.

"They're right at the back to the left. Not too bad this time actually." Lily waited for her friend to pull them all out but before she did she heard a soft crack from down stairs. "Ev, I'm just going downstairs for a second. Do you want anything?" Lily asked picking up her wand.

"No, I'm right thanks."

Lily stood up and tightened her silk gown around her waist. She was only wearing her nightie underneath with long white socks so she hoped no one was down there. Perhaps, if she was lucky, it would be Potter. But that would never happen. She reached the top of the stairs and paused. Tightening the grip she had on her wand she descended the stairs halfway.

"Hello?"

The man standing in the entrance turned around and smiled at the sight of Lily. "Why, hello," he said with a sleaziness.

"What do you want, Lucius?" Lily crossed her arms and stood tall.

"Is your father here?"

"I'm afraid not, he's out with the Snape family. Why?" Lily finished walking down the stairs.

"No reason, I was hoping to meet with him about something important. Why didn't you go with them? Surely you should be spending this time with your betrothed."

Lily laughed bitterly, "Oh yes, my one and only."

Lucius did not seem to see the humour, "As long as it keeps the vaults full and the boy jealous, he will be your one and only, yes."

"What vaults and what boy?" Lily said confused.

"Oh dear, I've said too much," Lucius shrugged the matter off but seemed pleased to stir some confusion into Lily. "You know, you have really grown up since I was at Hogwarts." He reached out and ran his hand down the ribbon that held her robe together.

She slapped his hand away and stepped back, "Where's Narcissa?"

"Severus said you were feisty," Lucius spoke with a sneer. "Narcissa is with her parents."

"She doesn't approve of all this you know?"

"All this being?"

"All this being you becoming a Death Eater," Lily clarified. "I was talking to her at the party."

"Narcissa may not be as enthusiastic as Bellatrix but she is fine with it. She knows that what we are doing is right in preserving blood purity and the aristocratic system that allows you to live in such a house." Lucius gestured around the impressive entrance to the Evans Manor. "You should look to her for inspiration as I see you are having trouble understanding what we are fighting for."

"I know what you are fighting for I just don't believe in how you are fighting."

"Naïve girl," Lucius said condescendingly. "Back to the topic, are you here alone?"

"No, the house staff are here as always."

"When will your father be back?"

"When he gets back," Lily smirked, "I'll tell him that you stopped by, see you later." Lily turned to return back to Evelyn.

"I think I'll wait." Lucius stood his ground.

"I think you will go."

"Lily, who's this?" Evelyn stood at the top of the stairs.

"_I_ am Lucius Malfoy. I was in fifth year when you girls started at Hogwarts." Lucius said and Evelyn looked to Lily for a proper explanation.

"He's going to wait down here for dad. I'll send a house elf to direct you to a room where you can sit." Lily said with minimal kindness.

"Thank you, Lily," Lucius smiled and watched the girls disappear out of sight.

"I don't remember him," Evelyn said when Lily had closed her bedroom door.

"Ugh, he's a piece of pureblood filth if you ask me," Lily stated her opinion and began searching for some clothes before anyone else turned up. She picked Evelyn's coat up off the bed and a torn envelope fell out. Lily caught it and looked at the front. In neat writing it simply said _Evelyn_.

"About that," Evelyn started. "I need to talk to you about something."

Lily felt that she had the permission to open the letter so she did. Quickly, she read over it then looked to the anxious Evelyn standing in front of her.

"That is the sweetest –"

"Yes it's the sweetest bloody thing I've ever seen but what – I don't know what to do!" Evelyn stressed running her fingers through her hair.

"Do you like him back?" Lily folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope.

"I don't know. I really like him as a friend and we've been having a lot of fun lately I just feel so stupid for not seeing this." Evelyn sat down next to Lily on the bed.

"Okay but have you ever thought of him than more than a friend because you can't just drag him on now. You have to clear things up when we get back to Hogwarts." Lily explained, "I think Noah's a great guy. He doesn't come with drama and the works and Ev, think about it, Noah would never cheat on you like you know who."

"I know," Evelyn accepted. "I just don't know what to do, I don't know how I feel."

"I would die for a relationship with so much freedom, which is something he is offering you." Lily handed back the envelope and Evelyn flipped it around in her hands.

"Did anything happen between you and Potter?" She asked, changing the subject.

"No, nothing at all. It's officially over but it's okay," Lily lied. James said no one was to know. "I saw Voldemort."

"You did?"

"He doesn't have a side fringe." Neither girl laughed. It was more of a realisation that he is real and present in their lives.

* * *

><p>James Potter lied on his stomach staring out the window unseeingly. Every now and then he would hear footsteps of someone walking past his door and down the hallway and he was thankful no one had stopped. It was the day before Christmas Eve and the day after Lady Fawcett's funeral. Old wounds were reopened and now James just preferred to be alone and everyone knew that. Lord Fawcett was grieving at his home while Olivia stayed with them at Montacute. He would be joining the Potters and Sirius for Christmas though. So would the Longbottoms who had insisted on helping Grace with the food. The door clicked as the knob was turned. He didn't turn around to see who it was but was happy that they at least had the courtesy of closing the door behind them even if they lacked the ability to knock. A little round face appeared in front of him with the chin resting on the bed.<p>

"O," James said, "climb up." And so she did, very easily as a matter of fact, and James imagined that she had plenty of experience with her parents' bed. She crawled over and lied down on her stomach mimicking James' position with her hands under her head. She stared into his eyes, probably thinking that he looked strange without glasses, thought James.

"Will be mummy be back for Christmas?" Olivia asked quietly.

Somehow, the question physically hurt him, "No," James wished that Olivia was old enough to understand death. He had heard her ask his mother plenty of questions and was always grateful that he was never asked but now his luck had clearly run out. "She's not going to be here anymore, remember?"

"Why not?"

James sighed, every day the same question, "Because she died."

"Did it hurt her?"

"No, it didn't hurt her." James had wondered the same thing about his father.

"What about my baby sister? Is she okay?" This one was new and caught James off guard. "Am I still her big sister?"

James felt his throat tighten, "Yes, O, you're still her big sister."

"But where is she?" Olivia asked, completely unaware of the pain she was inflicting on James.

"With your mum, she's looking after her." Suddenly James just wished that the curious black haired girl lying innocently in front of him would just leave.

"I think," Olivia paused for a moment to move the hair that had fallen into her eyes. "I think my mum and baby sister are with your dad."

He couldn't blink them back anymore, "I think so too," James whispered. Olivia went to say another thing but he cut her off. "Olivia!" He said in an unfitting excited voice.

"What?" Olivia inhaled audibly with wide eyes.

"You better go and count the presents under the tree," James urged, praying that Olivia would fall for his game.

"Why?" She sat up quickly and ready for her mission.

"Because Sirius sometimes steals the presents, so you better go and make sure they're all there!" James picked Olivia up and placed her down in the hallway where she didn't waste a second. Her feet pounded the floor as she ran away and disappeared. James closed the door and walked over to the side of his bed and sat on the floor. Frustrated, he wiped away the tears running down his cheeks and threw his head back against the side of the mattress. He missed his dad. It was as simple as that. He had held it all in on the anniversary but here he was about to celebrate another Christmas without his father and with a toddler who had just lost her mother and didn't understand a single thing. James couldn't think what would be worse, understanding it or not.

His body developed a slight shake as he broke down. He buried his face into one hand with his elbow digging into his knee. Silently he cried and the door opened again. He didn't need to look up to know that it wasn't Olivia again or his mother to tell him dinner was ready. Sirius jumped onto the bed and reached to pat James on the back briefly then clasp his hands together on his stomach. He didn't say a word as James breathed loudly and unevenly, he just stared up at the ceiling silently.

* * *

><p>Christmas Day brought no snow to Great Chalfield Manor. Everything remained grey and wet from the rain earlier. Bare tree branches scraped against the large glass windows as the Evans and Snape family sat at the long dining table. The last time they were here all together they were informing Lily of her future and she had put on a show. Lady Evans prayed that today's Christmas lunch would not be an encore. Everybody put on their best wealth proving clothes and sat peacefully, for now, together.<p>

"Andromeda is marrying for love," Lily stated in response to the conversation about Andromeda Black's marriage to Muggle-born Ted Tonks.

"I think she is throwing everything away. Everything she was born into, doesn't it mean anything to her?" Lady Snape said.

"She practically has set herself up for death by marrying a Muggle. She should have married another person with nobility. Cygnus and Druella are distraught." Lord Snape continued of his wife's thoughts.

"Why didn't you arrange Severus to marry her then?" Lily said smartly. She avoided her father's look of rage and stared straight into Severus' eyes. "If you are so concerned about Andromeda marrying a Muggle why didn't you save her with dear Severus?"

"You two are good friends, we wouldn't want Severus to marry anyone who he didn't like," Lady Snape explained.

"We are not good friends and why would you marry someone you only like?" Lily did not drop her gaze.

"What would you marry for then Lily? What type of person would you marry? Maybe Severus could change somewhat," Lady Evans said.

"What type of person would I marry?" Now Severus stared back at her. "I would marry someone who cared, who truly loved me. Someone who would forgive me for my mistakes. Someone who brings passion and excitement to the relationship creating desire and someone who, after hearing a horrible secret, would come back to me. Ultimately I would marry for love and that and everything else I mentioned is noticeably absent from mine and Severus' relationship."

"Lily, in my office now!" Lord Evans roared standing up at the end of the table.

Lily held her head high and put down her cutlery. Her mother had an expression of fear for her daughter but Lily thought nothing of it. Confidently she pushed in her chair and followed her father down the long corridor and into his office.

"It is time you vanished this school girl imagination. Not everybody in this world marries for love. Some people marry for security. For rights to live in a country, for these Muggle visa things. For financial security, for safety or for traditions sake and sometimes for status. Merlin knows people have been married into Nobility for status alone." Lord Evans bowed his head for a moment then faced his daughter. "Can you imagine if a Muggle were to be married into all of this? Can you imagine if a whole line of Nobility ended because a female Muggle did not produce a magical heir? This is what we are trying to prevent from happening, Lily!"

"So you put me up with Severus so I didn't marry a Muggle like Andromeda?"

"No, I know you are not that stupid."

Lily scoffed, "Thanks."

"Stop it! Just stop this ridiculous behaviour. You are embarrassing everyone out there!" Lord Evans bellowed making Lily flinch just the tiniest bit. "Why can't you just accept it?"

"Because I don't want to, I would rather die in this war."

"How dare you say that?" Lord Evans snarled. "You will not die in this war! No one on that side will kill you because they are your friends. Evelyn and that Muggle-born Mary wouldn't dream of hurting you. Potter wouldn't think to raise a wand against you nor would Black. You are quite well set up."

Lily began to feel sick at the thought of those people fighting. Had they just been simply lucky at the party to escape? How many lucky escapes did they have left? "What if I want to fight?"

"Against them? Will you hurt them?" Lord Evans challenged his daughter.

"No, I would fight with them," Lily fought hard to keep up with him.

"You can't. Your alliance is to our side of this war. It has always been like this. I know that you were put off after I killed Lord Potter but that's the way it is."

"You can't force me to fight."

"Then you don't have to fight. Listen, you either fight with us, beside Severus, or you do not fight at all. Simple but I must say the Dark Lord has shown interest in you."

Lily felt her stomach churn. The thought of that man even being aware of her was enough to make her cringe. "What does he want?"

"People tell him that you are a very talented witch. He would highly appreciate you being one of his loyal followers."

Lily realised that she was quickly running out of options. She could either finish this talk right now or she could say what she had been thinking for a long time. She walked closer to her father's desk and planned out the words in her head. She couldn't lie to herself, she _was_ scared of him. The winter sun had long since disappeared and now everything in the office cast long shadows mimicking the long dark times time ahead.

"I would rather die than become a loyal follower of Voldemort."

"Funny, I heard Potter say those exact same words the other day."

"Well, they're true," Lily paused to finally breathe again. "I will not fight for him and I will not hurt my friends. I honestly see no point in me being with Severus and I ask you, as your daughter, to cancel everything and to let me marry who I want to marry. Also, to let me fight for who I want to fight for. You can disown me if you want, I understand."

Lord Evans was silent for a moment. Lily held her breath awaiting his words. Her heart beat was audible in her ears and every second felt like an hour.

"No. I will not fall back on any contract unless there is a right worthy cause for it. I also will not disown you. You are my daughter and part of this family." Lord Evans spoke firmly and Lily felt her little light of hope flicker out. "Everything remains the same. You are with Severus and you will not see any other boy."

The wretchedness of the situation overwhelmed her again as it had done many times before. She tensed her muscles with the anger yet powerlessness within her. The weight of everything just kept coming back in waves and she could not hold on for much longer. Unable to stand in front of her father anymore she headed for the door.

"Lily," she waited for his words but did not face him. "Lord Fawcett has sent a letter asking if you would like to attend the Potter's Christmas dinner with him tonight." Lily didn't move as she had the slight feeling that this was a trap. "He doesn't know how to thank you for saving his child so he was suggested sharing Christmas dinner."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lily said quietly.

"You may go if you like. Your mother and I talked about it and although we feel strongly against the Potter family we do feel sympathetic towards Lord Fawcett and his wife. No one was supposed to die that night."

"That is such a lie!" Lily couldn't contain herself anymore. Every one of her father's words cut her with the lies they contained. "I saw so many green lights in that room. Your lot were throwing killing curses in every direction."

"I'll rephrase then, no one innocent was supposed to die that night."

Lily almost laughed, "That is no better and you know it. Or perhaps you don't."

"Do you want to go or not?"

"I find it astonishing that you are freely sending me to the Potter house alone." Lily said bitterly by the door.

"Is there something we should be concerned about with you going there?" Lord Evans raised his brow.

"Nothing at all but are they not the enemy?"

"They are and we would have preferred Lord Fawcett to suggest a different family to have dinner with but it was them so we've decided it will be fine for one night. In the spirit of Christmas, I guess. So, you may go downstairs and apologise then prepare for tonight. Lord Fawcett will be here at six so you don't have much time."

"Fine," Lily let herself out and marched down the stairs to the dining room. Every one sitting stared at her as she stood at the lower end of the table. "I apologise but I must be leaving now." She would not apologise for her words earlier.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked and Lily was pleased he did.

"Montacute," she said slowly as if twisting a knife in deeper, "Merry Christmas."

Lily walked quickly up to her room. She could hear Severus shouting from the dining room and she smiled slyly. Locking the door behind her she quickly removed the uncomfortable dress she wore. Opening her trunk from Hogwarts she dug through to the bottom until finding the items she wanted. Slipping on a thick cream woollen dress that reached the middle of her thighs she then pulled her hair out of its tight bun and let it fall freely. Lastly, she thanked the Gods for such a chance before she finished.

Lily swung her door open but jumped back when she saw Severus standing in the way.

"I'll tell them."

"Tell them what?" Lily questioned already knowing the answer.

"About you and Potter," Severus said darkly. Lily felt his eyes run over her new attire.

"What is there to tell? I ended it remember, besides, who would believe you?" Lily challenged him and could see clear defeat in his expression. "And you have no proof because nothing is happening. So good luck with whatever your plan is." She smirked at him and pushed past.

...

James and Sirius heard their names being called and obediently made their way to the main entrance of the house where people must have been arriving. Sirius held Olivia up by her ankles and her chuckles brought light to the house. They made it to the top of the staircase and Sirius almost dropped the child, so many things happened at once.

"Daddy!"

"Lily?"

"Why are you holding her like that?"

"For Merlin's sake Sirius."

Sirius awkwardly let Olivia down and she made her way as quickly as possible down the stairs and into her father's arms. James watched them for a moment then cast his gaze towards Lily. It really was her and she didn't appear as if she was leaving anytime soon.

"I hope you don't mind," Lord Fawcett started, "but I brought Lily Evans along with me as a way of saying thank you to her for saving Olivia."

"No of course not, we'd be delighted to have Lily for dinner." Grace lit up. In that moment the Longbottom family appeared.

"Lily!" Alice squealed and pulled Lily into a hug. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"Lord Fawcett is thanking me for saving Olivia."

"And your father owes me so it wasn't a problem." Lord Fawcett explained. This was news to Lily and she couldn't imagine what her father would owe to Lord Fawcett.

"How are you getting along at school? James isn't giving you too much grief as a Head Student I hope. Don't tell me you two still hate each other?" Alice talked excitedly, happy to be with her old friend.

"No, we're okay now."

"Great," she smiled.

Lily was seated across from James who sat between Sirius and Frank. Whenever she looked at James the sweet smile faded into something more suggestive. James was none the more innocent; everything he did had a certain flourish to it. Sirius picked up on the change quickly and started putting the pieces together. Where _was_ James when the Death Eaters arrived? Perhaps he should have taken Regulus' words more seriously. Lily and James had done a fifth year. He smirked to himself and shook his head lightly. There would be a talk later.

The Potter Christmas dinner seemed to have a grander feel to it compared to the Evans Christmas lunch. The room was warmer and happiness and laughter filled the air instead of discussion about deaths and unethical marriages. A large roast turkey had been prepared and was surrounded by roasted vegetables including roast and boiled potatoes. Silver boats of thick steaming gravy were situated at each end of the table, which was smaller than the Evans' making everything more comfortable and inviting. They had crackers namely for Olivia's sake. James and Sirius wore their red paper hats and Lily mused that it suited them well. The Kings of Gryffindor laughing over a joke found in a cracker.

"So Lily, how is James at being Head Boy? Does he behave himself?" Lady Potter asked and Sirius scoffed while trying to stifle his laughter. "Sirius, what has gotten into you?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," he stabbed a piece of chicken and put in his mouth while watching Lily with interest.

"James is great. He organises…" Lily faltered. "Well, he sorts out the…"

"I organise the Quidditch." James said confidently. "And I've done the patrol schedule –"

"Once," Lily cut in.

"Still, I also organise the Hogsmeade trips."

"Which are all over the place," Sirius put in to receive a glare from James.

"Well, I hope you will become more organised before you finish school. There's no room for you to be lazy in your position next year." Lord Fawcett said seriously. The grin was wiped from Sirius' face and a silence fell over the room.

"I'm sure James is more than capable of what is expected of him. Edward prepared him for everything." The elderly Lord Longbottom said and sent an encouraging smile James' way.

"But if he can't even handle being Head Boy…" Lord Fawcett shrugged.

"I think I was misinterpreted," Lily spoke up, "James is a great Head Boy. I just tend to do most of the work because that's how I work." She sent a glance in his direction then continued, "James influences the whole Gryffindor House. At Quidditch –"

"I apologise Lily but life is not about sports," Lord Fawcett interjected.

"I know, but he rounds up the whole House and gets everybody excited and involved. Also, he has turned that team into something else. So while he may do little in the academic side of Head duties, he does everything and more in the social and important side of things." Lily said seriously. "I believe that will be more beneficial for your side than the ability to make rosters."

Everybody looked from James to Lord Fawcett waiting for something to be said. Lily did not want to say another word on the matter. She knew she was on the line and she could not put a toe over. This wasn't her house or her side and she was technically the enemy at the table. James had been staring at his empty plate listening to everything. Lord Fawcett, in his grief, was testing him. Would he be good enough to prevent what had just happened from happening again? James didn't know and there was no way he could promise it.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Lord Fawcett asked James.

"What do you want me to say? I'm as willing as the next person to get this war over and done with and I don't think I have to make a nice little speech to prove that. I'm sorry that there are two chairs missing from this table. I really am."

Lord Fawcett bowed his head in realisation that he had gone too far. "I apologise."

"Is everyone ready for dessert?" Grace asked cheerfully. Magically, flaming Christmas puddings, trifle and cake appeared on the table and kept everyone occupied for the time being without much having to be said.

"I think you'll be fine. Both of you will be great." Frank said quietly to James and Sirius. "I personally can't wait for you two to finish school and join us on the field. How is the Gryffindor Quidditch team going anyway?"

"Brilliantly of course," Sirius spoke over James who was struggling to keep his eyes off Lily. She chatted animatedly to Olivia who was growing tired as the hours passed. Every now and then she would look up to him and he made no effort to face away. They would smile at each other, knowing full well that when the moment presented itself things would happen.

Dessert finished and everyone made their way to another room for drinks before the night ended. As the movement was happening James finally found Lily and held her back so they remained at the back of the group. He found her hand and pulled her around a corner that everyone had walked past.

Giddy from the wine Lily kicked off her heels and jumped onto him, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. A tingling feeling ran through her as she kissed him. She ran her fingers through his hair then let her hands rest on his cheeks. Everything that had happened earlier with her father had been forgotten. She was with James now and that was all that mattered.

"Do I get to see your room?" She asked with strands of her once perfect hair falling over her eyes. Her chest rose up and down against James' as she stared into his eyes.

"It's on the other side of the house," James said.

"Really? We could always –"

Before Lily finished her sentence she was in James' room. He threw her shoes on the ground and looked at her with an almost evil glare. She walked around the room with her stockings teasing him like they always did.

"Nice room, Potter." Even though she lacked the ability to completely focus right now she still knew that her heart felt, for the first time, at home. It smelt like him and a feeling of home and security overwhelmed her. It was as if everything _James_ was embracing her, his smell, his belongings and his life. Lily made her way back to him and caught his gaze with dark eyes. Her fingers ran their way down his chest and his hands wandered around the hem of her dress.

"What were we thinking?" She whispered in a barely audible voice.

"I don't know," James said with a small smirk.

"We could never be together," Lily never dropped her gaze as she began unbuttoning James' shirt.

"History and fate took care of that," James continued with his hands under Lily's dress and dipped them down the top of her stockings.

"James Potter believes in fate?" Lily raised her eyebrows and slid off his shirt and started on his belt.

"If I did, would I be doing this?" Before Lily could say another word he had lifted her dress over her head and thrown it away. She fell back onto the bed and hooked is hands under her stockings and pulled them down.

Lily smirked at the look in his hazel eyes, "I wore your favourite."

"Had the whole night planned did you?" James asked as he stepped out of his jeans and crawled over top of her.

"I may have had a slight agenda."

"Slight," James scoffed. He kissed his way up from her stomach to her lips. She felt it ignite within her, the fire, and kissed him fervently in return. She pushed her hips up against his and he rolled over so she was on top. Her dark red hair curtained around their faces so as if they were in their own little world.

"I love you tonight."

The feeling never got old. Actually, it felt better every time as she learned how to appreciate it and now not to take these moments for granted. No matter what, they were not a proper couple and these moments were not a right, they were stolen minutes of greatness. They, the moments, quenched the need that the two had for each other but only for a little while. It always came back fiercer than before.

She was under him again and she arched her back towards him as the tightness and most amazing feeling overcame her as it always did with him. He knew exactly what to do at this point, when that severe look in her eyes told him that she was completely his. Begging him to push her off the edge. She grabbed the sheets and scrunched them in her hands while using every amount of willpower she had not to scream out. James collapsed by her side breathing heavily. He turned his head to face Lily and saw her eyes half open and a small smile playing on her lips.

"Don't fall asleep."

"Why not? I want to stay," Lily rolled onto her stomach. The strands of hair falling messily over her face on top of her presence in his room was almost torturing James. A silence fell between them and Lily allowed her eyes to shut for a short moment while James traced patterns on her back.

"We have to get back," he whispered into her ear and she nodded.

"I'm going to go home. You can say that you were seeing me off." Lily slowly rolled out of bed and started collecting and putting on her clothes. James did the same and waited for Lily to finish. She slipped on her heels and made her way over to him. He wrapped his arm around her to draw her in.

"I love you tonight, too," Lily said with a smile and soft eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Lily," James kissed her forehead then lips before she apparated out of sight. He bowed his head with a grin, shut the door and put his hands in his pockets as he walked down the long corridor to the other side of the house.

Lily purposefully apparated to the front gate of the manor instead of her room. Not caring about the cold, she removed her shoes and collected them in one hand. With the wine still in her she walked throwing one leg in front of the other down the long path towards the house. She was unable to wipe the ridiculous smile off her face. He had said that he loved her and he had said it first. Lily danced to the music in her head throwing one hand in the air while going from one side of the wide path to the other with a skip in between. As she did this the long awaited flakes began to fall from the sky and she laughed. It was Christmas and James loved her.

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><p>If Lily had an ipod she would have listened to 'Not Giving Up On Love' by Armin van Buuren vs Sophie Ellis-Bextor when she walked home because that was on my itunes when I wrote it and it fitted.<p>

Thank you for reading and enjoy the final Harry Potter film! Eeek!


	13. Letters

Hey girls! (Do we have any guys reading?) Did you all love Deathly Hallows 2? I know I did, however I was surprised that I didn't cry. Perhaps next time I see it I will. Anyway, seeing those Lily and James scenes gave me a burst of motivation with this story. All I wanted to do was get home and write write write. Since the last update I've retreated a bit just to clear my mind and have a few days away from the story and I feel so much better about it now than ever! I've gotten back into writing future scenes (there's some great one's coming) which is something I love doing because then I have these big moments to work towards and they keep me motivated because I want you all to read them. Future chaps have also been organised with greater detail and so now I'm ready to go! Also, I feel like we're in part 2 of the story now so things are going to get a bit darker and more intense.

As usual thank you greatly to everyone you reviewed and wished me happy birthday - you guys are awesome. **Black16Lily:** As always, thank you for your loyal reviews! **Ambreezy90:** Lily is distantly related to Lord Fawcett and Olivia. She is also related to Ben Wood (Mary's boyfriend). Her grandmother (on her mother's side) married a Fawcett and her maiden name was Wood. She also wore the Wood family veil at her wedding. Just like in the Harry Potter books - the pure-blood families are all roughly related somehow. **Ellie:** You are too amazing! Walking around doing James' grin tsk! It makes me smile! I searched the internet for a little girl that looked like Olivia but I couldn't find any. The closest I got was the little girl who starred in the Tiffany & Co. Christmas campaign in 2009. So if you just google 'Blue is the colour of dreams Tiffany and Co.' she'll come up but even she is a smidgen too old. **Growinghope: **Thank you for reviewing every time! I had to have Lily spend Christmas with the Potter's. I knew it was a bit out of story but I wanted it so it happened. **DarkBlackRoses:** I love the effect the story has on you and I hope you just had that rush of anticipation when you saw your email :D I hope you are just as happy with this chapter as the previous ones.

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><p><strong>La Douleur Exquise:<strong> The heart wrenching pain of wanting someone you can not have.

**Part II**

...

He watched her walk proudly down the corridor then down the stairs and out of sight. She had said that she stayed away from _him_ but somewhere at some time, when he wasn't watching, it all changed. Lily had constantly been upset lately and Severus knew it was because of how James was being. He was ignoring her and acting as if they were in fifth year again. And it wasn't that Severus liked seeing Lily like that because he didn't; it just meant that she and James weren't together.

Footsteps became audible and Severus waited till the person reached the top of the stairs. He was surprised to see that it was his father making his way towards him.

"What are you doing?" He asked slowly.

Severus thought for a moment, "I was just saying goodbye to Lily."

"Really, well, it couldn't have been a very emotional farewell for the evening could have it?" Lord Snape walked slowly down the corridor.

"What do you mean?" Severus stood up straight, disliking the inferior feeling he felt around his father.

"It is disgustingly obvious that she hates you," Lord Snape spoke harshly.

"She doesn't hate me," Severus cast his gaze to the floor.

"Oh yes she does!" Lord Snape seemed as if he was almost about to laugh at his sons incompetence at holding onto a girl. He closed the space between them and spoke gravely, "You need to make her love you. If you don't then everything is ruined, she will find a way out, I'm sure of it. I would not put it past that girl to run away or sacrifice her life. She is so bloody useless… can't get anything into her head." Lord Snape broke down into a mumble.

"She is not useless," Severus spoke up.

"I stand corrected. She is not entirely useless her inheritance will save us all eventually."

"She is more than just her money, father," Severus made another correction.

"Like what? She just embarrassed the life out of you at dinner and now – on Christmas – she is parading over to the Potter's, the worst of the lot."

"Lily…" Severus honestly couldn't think of anything that his father wouldn't be able to cut down.

"Make her love you or at least make her comply with what is going on. I will not be embarrassed like that again and we cannot afford for the Evans' to back out."

"They won't. They don't care about Lily," Severus admitted. He played with the idea of sharing his thoughts with his father. What would he do if Severus planted the idea of Lily and James in his head?

"And, for our sake at least, it's good that they don't! Thank heavens Lady Evans never had a son. Now, we are leaving in an hour, meet us downstairs." Lord Snape said and looked into his sons brown eyes. "Is there anything else you want to say?"

It was on the tip of his tongue, ready to go, but he couldn't do it. "No, I'll meet you downstairs in a moment." Lord Snape didn't say anything else to his son. He just turned around and descended the stairs as Lily had just done previously.

Severus wandered into Lily's room not looking for anything in particular. He just wanted to be away from everyone else for the time being and he needed to come up with a plan.

A rosewood box with the name _Lily_ engraved on the lid sat on her desk. Severus opened it to find a squashed pile of envelopes torn open. He sat down on the edge of her chair and sorted through them until he found his own handwriting on the front of one. He pulled the aged paper out and unfolded it. The letter was from the summer between third and fourth year. Severus scanned over the pages and he remembered every scenario he wrote about. Like his father being distant and dedicating himself to the noble family crowd. Another paragraph wrote about him missing her and not being able to wait until school went back.

A different letter altogether spoke of encouragement. Severus wrote in tall looped letters for Lily to be strong and to get better. That she needn't do what she was doing to get her parents attention. That all she had to do was talk to them, but Lily was never one for confrontation. She grew healthy again though.

Sorting through more envelopes from Lily's friends, Severus found the last letter he had sent Lily. It was sent between fifth and sixth year. Severus wrote about Voldemort for the first time. There were paragraphs on how amazing the older man's ideas were. How supporting blood purity would be the only way to preserve their nobility. Everything their ancestors had worked for would be wasted if more and more Muggles infiltrated their system. Severus also mentioned Potter for the first time. He wrote that the Potter family were a threat and how Lord Potter was just like his stubborn arrogant son. And, if they knew what was good for them, they would swap sides and support Voldemort. Lily never responded to this letter and it was only a few months later that Lord Potter was killed.

Severus turned and looked ahead at Lily's pin board which was overcrowded with photos of her friends, Evelyn and Mary, as well as some other Gryffindor girls. There was a photo of Lily's grandmother but no one else in her family. A sudden thought came into Severus' mind and quickly he sort through every envelope, tearing out every letter and checking the signature on the bottom. His hands began to shake with furry at the possibility of their being a letter from _him_. Severus did not need to worry though because James Potter had never sent Lily a single letter or note and the only times James' name appeared was on Severus' letter and another one from Remus. He had mentioned about spending majority of that summer at James' house with the other Marauders and nothing more was said.

And that was the thing, Severus had just realised. Why Potter? Why James bloody Potter? Where was James when Lily had issues with her parents? Where were his encouragement letters? Where was James when Lily's grandmother died? Oh that's right, he was planning pranks and befriending Sirius Black. And where was James during all those summers? During all those times Lily was struggling? During all those long and hard days when Lily had no one? Nowhere. James Potter was nowhere to be found. But where was Severus? He was there. He was either with Lily in person or sending letters. They had brought their Hogwarts equipment together. They had supported each other during tough times with their parents. They shared their first kiss and Severus _knew_ that James had stolen Lily's first time.

So why did Lily have this infatuation with Potter? Why didn't she love the person who had supported her the most throughout majority of her life. In anger Severus ripped apart the letter that he was holding, which happened to be Remus'. He didn't understand, only months ago Lily had visibly loathed James. Severus wanted believe that Potter had put a spell on Lily but even he knew that Potter wouldn't do that. He thought back on all the times and came to a conclusion that perhaps it was when James saved Lily from the forest. It was the hero image that Potter had successfully established that attracted her.

A weight fell on Severus' shoulders. It was his fault. He was the reason Lily was captivated with Potter. The weight then fell heavy on his heart. How could he have done this? Perhaps if he had just left things Lily would have been fine with their relationship. Hastily, he shoved the envelopes in the box and pulled out some new blank paper along with an ink jar and quill. Finally, he had a plan. If he had unintentionally put Lily and James together he could more than purposefully pull them apart. Lily said that he couldn't prove anything and that there was nothing to prove. Well, Severus knew better and he would prove it. He just needed some help.

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><p>James stood under the large willow tree and looked up. The wood had deteriorated now with time. It had taken his childhood life to get that place in the tree right. Subconsciously he flipped the collar of his coat up against the cool breeze. He was alone at Avebury Manor. No one knew he was there, all he had said to Sirius and his mother was that he was going out for a bit and no one had asked where. A strong breeze ran through him and caused a wooden board on the tree house to creak eerily. Originally he had planned to climb up but now it seemed unlikely. One touch and the whole thing would probably fall apart.<p>

Thick clouds rumbled in the sky and James turned around to wander slowly to the manor. He hadn't made it far when he heard a dog bark. He flinched at the sound and mentally told himself to get a grip. An Old English Sheepdog was soon jumping up onto him leaving white hairs on his coat.

"Get off, Oscar," James pushed the dog down and turned around expecting his owner to be close by. A smile instantly ran across his face at the sight of Henry Davies. The blonde boy broke into a run in his wellingtons to catch up to James.

"Haven't seen you around here for a while, Potter," Henry reached him and messed James' hair as a greeting.

"Yeah, mum showed no interest last summer," James bowed his head. Seeing a stick on the ground, he picked it up and threw it for Oscar.

Henry watched his family's dog run away then turned to James, "I almost didn't believe it was you when I saw you under the old tree house. Poor old thing's dying."

"That it is. How are things anyway?" James asked as he started walking again with Henry beside him.

"Alright, I guess. We lost Nationals," James winced at the news. "Yeah, I know. Reckon it was because I didn't have you to train with over summer." Henry blamed.

"Or because you've just gotten shit at it," James offered jokingly and threw the stick again for Oscar.

"Or Cambridge just has no life and trains every second of the day."

"Possibly," James tilted his head in consideration. Sometimes he was envious of Henry's Muggle life. Henry was almost like him. He was a spoilt only child from a wealthy London based family. His parent's had high expectations for him to get into a top university. However, Henry was more into rugby, rowing and partying. "Are you heading back to London soon?"

"This weekend, back to school I'm afraid. We've got to lock down and study for the A levels. Rather be playing rugby or be rowing to be honest. _Or_ that sport of yours, what's it called again?"

"Quidditch," James smiled.

"_Quidditch_," Henry repeated with a passion. "God, I wish I could play that. When do you head back?"

"Tomorrow," James answered.

"And you've got exams too right?" Henry asked as he patted the panting Oscar who had failed to fetch the last stick.

"Yeah but I haven't even given them a thought."

"What's happening in your world?" Henry asked in a different voice. He could tell that James' mind was somewhere else, that something was wrong.

"A war," James answered simply with no emotion. Henry stopped walking causing James to also stop. He watched Oscar take the chance to lie down before he went on, "You'll be right."

"But what – why?" Henry was lost for words. It felt extremely strange for there to be war going on that wasn't even in the papers.

"Because there is this one person who thinks that anyone who isn't…" James faltered, "Pure-blood or half-blood, should be killed or unable to use their magic. So say if you had magic abilities you would be in danger of being killed or something because both of your parents are non-magical. This person and his followers think that these people have stolen their magic and deserve to be punished. Anyway, there is a group of us who are against this. It is impossible to steal magic and everyone deserves to use it if they have it. So we're fighting against this guy and his followers." James finished not sure if he had made any sense.

Henry was silent for a while as he put the pieces together in his head. "So it's like Hitler killing the Jews?"

"I suppose, yes," James was thankful that he got it.

"Is it serious, like people are being killed right now?"

"People have been killed."

"Was this part of why your father…" Henry didn't finish the sentence but James nodded and looked past Henry at the Manor in the close distance. "Fuck, James," Henry ran his hand through his blonde hair. "Are we in danger?" He gestured in the direction of his family's home.

James wanted to say no but he couldn't, "I don't know. You'll be fine in London."

Henry nodded silently in deep thought. "Alright, let's change subject," he said and started walking again with his hands buried deep in his pockets. "But I'm going to need some of that wizard whisky stuff once we reach the house." James laughed and agreed.

A few hours had past and everything was dark outside. Oscar slept in front of the fire while Henry and James lazed out on the two lounges in the cosy lounge room. Two bottles of Firewhisky sat in on the coffee table with the fire dancing on the glass.

"… but she's great. She really is." Henry finished talking about his latest girlfriend, Sarah. James was actually impressed that he had held onto her for over three months. "Actually, she's also working, not in a bar like me, but in a department store to save up for our end of school trip to Africa. I think it's great that our parents refuse to pay our way."

James felt a pang of jealousy. An end of school trip to Africa… That sounded like something from another world. He would finish school and fight.

"How about you? Any new girls since last time or are you still pining over ginger?" Henry asked.

"I've got her," James said with a proud smile.

"You what?" Henry tried to sit up but lied back down as the blood rushed to his head. "I thought you two weren't allowed because of your families?"

"True but we both got Head Students and she was just…" James ran his hands over his eyes as he remembered Lily at the start. "She was just asking for it - walking around in little things and flirting – the whole lot. Of course there was all this drama as well but yeah."

"Lily Evans," Henry said the name slowly as he remembered it with a smile. "So it's all secret then because of the family thing?"

"And because she is promised to another guy who, may I add, is on her family's side of the war."

"So you're her enemy?" Henry knitted his eyebrows trying to put the pieces together.

"Her family's and her supposed partners, yes."

"Potter, Potter, Potter," Henry shook his head with a sly smile, "you're bad. You love her though, right? After all this time, bloody hell, you'd want to."

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't," James answered.

"Lily Evans," Henry repeated staring into the fire as if he was being forced to remember the name.

"Is that him?" Lady Potter swung the door open to James' room after hearing the crack caused from apparation. "Where on earth have you been?" She said with anger substituting worry.

"Avebury," James answered and Sirius, who was also in the room, looked at him strangely

"Avebury, what were you doing there?" She asked with a livid face.

"I was visiting Henry," James wanted to roll his eyes but kept focused.

"But how dare you leave here without telling us where you were going!"

"I told you I was going out," James grew impatient.

"But you didn't say for hours and well into the night. It's past midnight!" Lady Potter pointed out.

"I wasn't aware I had a curfew."

"You don't have a curfew but in times like these you are required to have common sense!" Lady Potter raised her voice. Sirius stood awkwardly to side studying James. He had suspicions that he wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Sorry, next time I'll make sure I tell you where I'm going. Like tomorrow, I'm going to Hogwarts for a long time, just so you know," James lost it.

Lady Potter turned to Sirius, "Set him straight will you." She slammed the door and her loud footsteps could be heard as she marched down the corridor.

Now James rolled his eyes and began picking up his belongings and throwing them into his bag. Sirius didn't speak straight away. He chose his words and thought over whether the certain matter was worth discussing. He decided it was.

"You shouldn't have said that," Sirius started.

"Merlin, are you going to replace my father now?" James stood up straight with an exasperated look.

"C'mon, James," Sirius narrowed his eyes at his friends' stupidity.

"Alright," James surrendered leaned against a bed post waiting for Sirius to say what he had to say.

"Were you seeing Lily at Avebury?" Sirius asked solemnly.

"What?" James couldn't believe it, "Absolutely not."

"I saw the letter she wrote about wanting to meet somewhere private. Avebury seems like the place you would suggest."

"I just went back there to see it then I met up with Henry. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"It's not, it's just knowing that you would and have taken every chance possible to meet up with her makes it seem unlikely that you were just seeing Henry." Sirius explained.

"I wasn't seeing Lily. I haven't seen or heard from her since Christmas," James said seriously.

Sirius nodded, "Okay." James pushed himself off the post and began packing again while Sirius walked aimlessly around the room. "I just have one more question." He said stopping at the door almost ready to leave for the night.

James threw a pair of shoes into his bag and zipped it shut then looked to Sirius, "What?"

Sirius was unfazed by James' attitude, "Would you be doing all of this if your father was still alive?"

"Everything with Lily?" James asked and Sirius nodded. "Dad knew all about it." Upon seeing the shock on Sirius face, James continued, "He knew how I felt about her. It was dad who first gave me the lecture in fourth year about the Potter's and Evans' and that was because he could see something that I wasn't even aware of."

"He knew the whole time and he was fine with it?" Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. It didn't sound like Lord Potter at all.

"Of course he wasn't fine with it. Why else would he remind me every year about how I shouldn't even go there? At the same time, he never grew angry about it." James sat down on his bed. This was something he hadn't actually thought about.

"Do you think he would be angry about you actually doing things with Lily now?"

"If he found out about it I think he would be disappointed, yes," James answered looking from the ground to Sirius.

"Then why do you do it if he would be disappointed?" Sirius asked.

"Because I want Lily and dad is dead so he can't be disappointed can he?" James said with finality. Sirius got the hint and left without another question.

How had he not thought of this? Not even on his father's anniversary had he thought about it. He hadn't meant what he said to Sirius. The fact that his father was dead didn't mean that he wasn't disappointed. James tried to imagine what his dad would do if he were alive and if he found out about Lily. Because, really, James still would have done everything. It wasn't that he had thought it was okay to start everything because his father was dead. Absolutely not. Against his own will James pushed himself up with force and shuffled his way down to Sirius' room.

He was already in bed but still hadn't packed. Sirius reached for his wand and lit up the room.

"Prongs?" He asked tiredly.

"What do you think he would do? My dad, what would he do if he were alive and he found out?" James asked his best friend in sudden need of an answer.

"He would tell you to stop," Sirius answered without hesitation.

James didn't say anything. He just turned around, shut the door and returned to his own room. He knew Sirius was right but he liked to imagine otherwise.

...

Mary crawled into Ben's bed tired and worn out. They had just spent the last week at her family's house and now they were back at Ben's ready to go back to school tomorrow. A shared trunk sat at the end of the bed all packed and ready to go. Mary noticed the strange silence of the night. It was much quieter at the Wood Manor than it was in her family town house.

"Are you glad to be out of the Muggle world?" Mary asked running her hand down Ben's face as he pulled her closer.

"It's not that bad," Ben insisted and Mary raised her eyebrows. "Okay, I'm happy to be around magic again. And you've had a good holiday, right?"

"Besides the attack at the party, yes," Mary said. Ben kissed her forehead as if apologising. "But I'd always go to another."

Ben sighed thoughtfully, "I don't think there's going to be another one, at least not with them anyway. Even though things were official before that night just seemed to secure it and now Dumbledore is working on his own little army."

Mary pulled the thick blankets higher and looked into Ben's eyes. They had one more semester before they would start fighting. She didn't know what she would do if she lost him. "You'll be fighting all the time, won't you?"

"Yes," Ben didn't need to think about. "Think about what they did to you."

"But you wouldn't do that to them would you?" Mary asked and Ben was silent for too long. In her mind he was supposed to come out with an immediate _no_. "Would you?"

"I don't know," Ben answered slowly. He moved to kiss her but Mary pulled away.

"Would you really inflict that pain on someone? Wouldn't that make you equal with the person who did that to me?"

"Severus Snape?" Ben said with distaste.

"It wasn't Snape but would you do that to him? Without any proof that he had done that to me you would inflict him with that pain." Mary asked disbelievingly.

"Snape is James'," Ben winced with regret as soon as he said it.

"_Snape is James'_?" Mary sat up straight. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, James is Snape's too so…" Ben struggled, regretting his words.

"To what, kill?" Mary's voice was rising with confusion. Just when she thought she understood this war it all changed. Now people had tabs on others.

"Mary, don't worry about it, please. I wouldn't use those curses unless it was absolutely necessary. I'm not like that and you know it," Ben said as he tried to pull Mary back down but she stayed firm.

"I'm not sure what I know anymore. If James is supposed to kill Snape or vice versa what –"

"Listen," now it was Ben sitting up and raising his voice, "James wouldn't kill anyone. I honestly doubt that he is capable of that."

"Wouldn't he want revenge for his father? And he hates Snape and if he killed Snape he'd get Lily."

"No he wouldn't," Ben lowered his voice again. "Killing Snape would not mean that James gets Lily. She's not a prize and she's not James'."

"I didn't mean it like that," Mary relaxed.

"I know but it just wouldn't happen, okay? Also, James wouldn't kill Lord Evans either. He is talented, he can think of other ways to defend himself and to do whatever is necessary and Lord Potter did not raise James to kill, I know that much. And the rest of us are not out to kill either. We want justice and what is right. How does that come from killing?"

Mary sighed and lied back down along with Ben. She rolled onto her side and Ben curled himself around her with a protective arm wrapping around her petite frame. They were silent in their thoughts about what was going on. Mary could not get Ben's words about James and Snape out of her head. Had it always been like this and did Lily know? Or was it just an unspoken agreement that the boys had? And if Snape was James' and James was Snape's, who was Ben's? Mary didn't want to ask simply because she didn't want to know. If she knew that person she would never be able to look at them in the same way. Nor would she be able to look at Ben in the same way.

"How much don't I know?" Mary whispered hoping that Ben was still awake. She heard him breath in and out deeply then he tightened his arm around her.

"A lot," Ben whispered back. Mary bit her bottom lip and nodded.

"Don't die on me, okay?" she said almost light heartedly. Ben said nothing and kissed the top of her head. After a short time she knew he was asleep as his grip slackened and his breathing deepened. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her back and his low even breaths sometimes tickled her head.

A stray tear ran down onto the pillow. It wasn't a tear of sadness, though. It was a tear of realisation and determination. She was going to fight next to Ben and they would survive and have children in this big house. Evelyn would get through just fine with her quick mind when it came to duelling. Lily would figure something out but Mary couldn't imagine James marrying any other woman but he would be okay. So would Sirius who would find a girl who could handle and tame him. Remus would end up with Georgia Brown, the girl he kept hanging around with and Peter would go on to live a happy quiet life with a nice girl. This is how it would be… This was how it _had_ to be.

* * *

><p>Her eyes fluttered open and the winter sun hit her. She stretched out her arms and legs then rolled over to block the sunlight. This bed was incredibly empty. In fact, every bed was incredibly empty unless he was in it, which, in this case, he was not. Her stomach had a rush of butterflies as she remembered those mornings waking up next to him. As she remembered she imagined hypothetical mornings. Like a warm summer morning where they would have kept a window open overnight and slowly she would wake with the sun in her eyes just like that morning. The room would be filled with fresh air and morning light. She would roll over and he would be there still fast asleep and she would watch him for a short time, the boy with too much duty in his most vulnerable state. Actually, in this imagined morning there would be no war. Soon she would want to wake him to see his eyes, his smile and for him to be active and kiss and hold her. So she would wake him with kisses and he would pull her up to lay on top of him. He would run his fingers down her back under the light sheet and slowly they would get up after just lying together for a long time. Then they would go out to the dock that James said he once had a dream about at Avebury Manor.<p>

A knock on her door brought Lily back to reality. Her bed was empty, it was winter and her room was slightly cold and stuffy. The person knocked again and she called out for them to enter. It was Nancy and she rushed into the room with a pile of clothes.

"These are all ready to go, Miss Lily," Nancy announced as she put the clothes into Lily's bag. "You best get up now, you're running awfully late."

Lily glanced sideways at her clock and Nancy was right but Lily frowned, "Do I have to go back?"

"Well," Nancy stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips as she usually did when telling Lily something with an opinion. "Potter will be there."

"What do you know about Potter?" Lily rubbed her eyes trying to appear innocent.

"Not too much, just since you went there for Christmas you've been completely different." Nancy said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Different how?" Lily motivated herself to push back the blankets and find clothes to wear.

"You've been happy," Nancy said simply and Lily looked at her strangely and crossed her arms.

"What do you think happened?" She questioned, not sure of what she wanted the answer to be.

"Oh, I don't know what happened, Miss Lily. I only know that nowadays young Potter makes you happy." Lily couldn't help a smile from breaking out on her face.

"He makes me happy, yes," Lily said quietly and Nancy smiled broadly. "Has it been obvious?"

"I feel that no one else pays attention and there has been no mention of it in the staff quarters." Nancy answered.

"Right, well you must make sure it stays that way," Lily said sternly.

"Of course, Miss Lily," Nancy did a small curtsy, which Lily had told her not to do a million times, and left. Lily changed and pulled on her large coat ready for the station.

...

James lifted the child up for the last time. She squealed with delight and wrapped her arms around his neck. Olivia asked fewer questions about her mother every day but when she did ask they were so out of place that they always caused a sting.

"Will you come back?" Olivia asked with large eyes.

"Just for you, O," James whispered.

"Are you going to see the big girl?" She asked with reference to Lily.

"Lily?" James clarified and Olivia nodded. "I'll see her, yeah. Do you want me to say hello for you?"

She nodded again then buried her little hand into the olive green coat she was wearing then presented James with a fat envelope.

"That's just a painting she did for Lily. If you don't mind handing it on," Lord Fawcett explained.

"Sure," James pocketed the envelope. "Well, we've got to go," he said to Olivia and put her on the ground. Sirius and Lady Potter waited off to the side. James went and joined them and Olivia blew a kiss. He gave her a smile in return then disappeared with his mother and friend.

...

"Betty, dearest, there is an owl for you!" Betty Braithwaite folded applications for internships at the Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly into her bag as her mother called out for her. She pushed her hair behind her ears and ran down the stairs. "Here, it just arrived. Please don't take too much longer. You'll be late for the train otherwise." Mrs Braithwaite sent her daughter a pointed look.

Betty nodded and ran back upstairs to read the letter before leaving. She didn't recognise the tall loopy writing on the front of the crisp white envelope which she tore open with curiosity.

_To Betty,_

_I am afraid that I have to be very upfront with a certain matter. It has been considered that the Head students, Lily Evans and James Potter, are involved with each other. I am unaware on how much you know about the noble society but the two are forbidden to have such a relationship. Their families have been at war time and time again for centuries and a strong thread of hate has been developed. Noble families proud themselves on maintaining traditions and laws set by our ancestors. If a relationship were to be discovered between the pair there would be consequences to be paid, as you would understand. In addition Lily has been put into an arranged relationship so this would prove to be an extreme embarrassment to her family if discovered. _

_What I require is for you to use your skills in finding out whether a relationship is happening or not. We can work together and if you do find something you will tell only me. I know that you are interested in working at the Daily Prophet. If proven useful, I will contact some very important people at the office and arrange an interview for you._

_Severus Snape._

By the time Betty finished reading the letter a million different possibilities were racing through her mind. The _what if's_ and the _what would happens_ overwhelmed her. Sure, she had suspected something between the Head students a number of times but now it seemed official. Now Severus Snape was also having suspicions. A cruel smile developed on her round face as she thought about how Snape must be tormented by the thought of Potter with Lily, especially when Lily was his. Oh, it was too good to be true! Now that she knew there was actually something there, she would just catch them then announce it to the school. Or she could let it go through the rumour mill with students telling each other one by one. Either way, she was not going to let Snape get all the glory and if the news embarrassed a noble family then who cares? It was about time the everyday people embarrassed the aristocrats of the wizarding world. Plus, Snape had no idea on how to hurt a person with words. She had heard about how he announced that Lily's father had murdered Potter's father. Betty could have thought up much more effective ways to let that information slip.

"Betty we are leaving now!" She heard her mother call and quickly she threw some last things into her bag with a giddy smile. This semester would be eventful.

...

Regulus rushed to keep up with his mother as they hurried down Diagon Alley. They had just completed a few last minute errands and now they were making their way to Kings Cross. Well, Lady Black would farewell her son at the brick wall because no way was she going to a train station full of fifthly Muggles. Regulus hitched his bag over his shoulder again as it continuously slipped down with his fast pace. Suddenly he stopped. Lord Snape and Lord Evans just walked out of Gringotts together. It seemed strange; two wizards would never go to the bank together. Gold was a private matter and no one made it a habit to take friends on a trip to show them their vault.

The two men had their heads bowed and talked in hushed tones. Regulus tried his best to focus and hear what was being said but his mother grabbed his arm and dragged him along.

"That's none of your business, Regulus," Lady Black hissed.

"But –"

"You're going to make the perfect spy for Lord Voldemort. He's going to be so proud of you," she spoke with pride.

Regulus looked back but the two men were gone and he frowned. He wasn't spying, he was just curious. Something wasn't right and he was disappointed that his mother hadn't shown interest in it but surely Sirius would.

So when Regulus reached Kings Cross he searched for Sirius and found him straight away. The Gryffindor was ending a conversation with Lady Potter and Regulus couldn't help but feel slight anger. Sirius had traded in their own mother for Lady Potter. The older woman disappeared into the crowd and Regulus ran up to Sirius who looked down upon him.

Sirius didn't wait a second to start accusing, "Why didn't you make it more clear what was going to happen at that party?"

"I didn't know the full extent of it," Regulus defended pushing his black hair back.

"You knew enough. You could have told me instead of giving me pathetic little hints to find James. That way Lady Fawcett may have not died." Sirius' eyes narrowed.

"And what if it was discovered that I let the secret get out? I only knew because I had overheard a conversation between dad and some other people."

"Always the little spy," Sirius relaxed his glare.

Regulus grew irritated at the association with that word. "Just listen to me, I have some news." Sirius scoffed but gave Regulus the time. "I saw Lord Snape and Lord Evans walking out of Gringotts looking very odd. Like they were doing something strange and you know wizards don't go to the bank together that often."

"Why are you so interested?" Sirius asked while noticing that a blonde Muggle girl on another platform was staring at him.

Regulus quickly looked over his shoulder to see what Sirius was looking at but didn't see anything unusual. "I just thought it was strange," he said.

"A lot of things are strange, Reg. Like the fact that you are so interested in Lily and Snape. Do you care for her or something?"

Regulus pushed his lips together, "Forget about it, Sirius, sorry I mentioned it. I just thought that you would be interested because whatever is going on there isn't right!"

"Nothing is right," Sirius said darkly and went through the platform and straight onto the train.

...

Lady Evans met her daughter in the foyer alone. "Where's Dad?" Lily asked completely disinterested.

"He's had to go somewhere with Lord Snape today," Lady Evans said.

"I can go myself you know?" Lily said with hope that her mother would agree.

Lady Evans slouched, which was a rare sight, "I guess. Do you have everything?"

"Yes," Lily adjusted her large bag on her shoulder thankful she didn't bother with her trunk this year.

"Well, alright," Lady Evans awkwardly hugged her daughter and Lily apparated to a special spot near Kings Cross. Pushing through the crowd Lily finally reached the platform. She scanned the students for any familiar faces.

"Hey," Lily was already smiling before she turned around and looked up to him.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Alright, I'm in a bit of trouble at the moment so I'm just waiting for mum and Sirius to stop talking out there before I board." James said not taking his eyes off her.

"Oh, what did you do?" Lily asked.

"I went to the summer house and met up with an old friend," James answered. "But I stayed out too late and didn't tell anyone I was there so mum was a bit peeved."

"You went to Avebury?" Lily stared at him slightly annoyed he hadn't invited her. Before James could continue Remus approached them.

"Hey guys," he said happily and they smiled warmly back. "Are we boarding the train now or?"

"I'm waiting for Sirius. Did you see him outside with mum?" James asked.

"Nope, perhaps he passed you," Remus shrugged. The amount of students diminished and they decided it was time to board. James turned around and no one was behind them so he placed his hand on the small of Lily's back as they reached the small steps.

"See you later," Lily turned her head over her shoulder and smiled at James and he nodded.

Peter's slightly sweaty hand was wrapped tightly around a piece of paper in his pocket as he watched the scene in front of him. The letter had made him look at the two differently. His mind made up things that weren't really there but he couldn't help it. But James had just put his hand on Lily's back in a not so friendly way. Putting the sight out of his mind he ran for the train just before it started to leave the platform.

Noah didn't sit with the boys again. Besides, he was too much of a mess for that. Over the break he had not heard from Evelyn and he had not even seen her on the platform. He had done the wrong thing, definitely, definitely the wrong thing. He raked his hands through his hair regretting everything. Why wasn't he good at this? Why didn't anything work? Now Evelyn thought he was some sick stalker that was in love with her. They would probably no longer sit together during history and he'd get no more Quidditch invites. Basically, Noah was about to be banished back to staring at them from the Ravenclaw table. _Oh Merlin_, maybe he was a stalker.

The door to his small compartment opened and a tall black haired boy fell lazily onto the adjacent seat. He stared up at the ceiling for a while before facing Noah who was positively gaping.

"What?"

"Where are James and Remus and Peter?" Noah asked, careful not to say the wrong thing.

"Somewhere," Sirius shrugged. "I just need to think for a moment."

"Oh," Noah awkwardly stared out the window waiting for Sirius to say the next thing. Out of all the Marauders, Noah got along with Sirius the least. He still maintained that too-good-to-talk-to air about him.

"How was your break?" Sirius broke the silence.

"Okay, not very eventful," Noah shrugged wishing he had more to say.

Sirius scoffed, "That would be nice. I went to a funeral."

"Oh," Noah said again, "I'm sorry."

"I wasn't related to her but it was pretty shit," Sirius said still staring up at the ceiling.

"Have you seen Evelyn?" The words slipped out before he could stop them and Sirius finally looked at him.

"No but I'm sure she's with Mary and Lily. Why?"

"Just wondering, I wanted to talk to her, that's all." Noah tried to act cool but he actually didn't want to talk to Evelyn at all.

"Right," Sirius turned back up to the ceiling. "Have you seen Ingrid Vance?"

"I don't know who that is," Noah said quietly, feeling like he had failed by not knowing this girl.

"She's a gorgeous dark haired fifth year Hufflepuff," Sirius said plainly.

"Oh," Noah made the mental note to stop saying that word. "You like her?" He winced at his personal question.

"No," Sirius laughed lightly but Noah felt like there was more to this girl than what Sirius was letting on. "She's just an incredibly annoying smart ass of a bird."

Noah stopped himself from saying _oh _again, "So why do you want to see her?"

"I don't even know. She just came up in my head, there could be more to it but I don't know. Don't care," Sirius shrugged again.

"Well, as Lily and I agreed on, there's always more to it."

"Lily said that?" Sirius asked and Noah nodded even though it was him that had originally said it. Sirius laughed, "What a typical thing for her to come out with. There is always more to it with Lily Evans."

"Yeah," Noah stared out the window again at the English countryside.

"I'm off to find the boys," Sirius stood up abruptly and just disappeared.

Lily raked her fingers through her flowing red hair as Mary spoke with some new found passion. Where it came from, Lily did not know. Mary used to be the mother bear of the group, making sure that the girls stayed in line. She used to comfort them when they had boy trouble. She would tell Lily that things would be okay and she would assure Evelyn that there were better boys out there compared to Leon. She was the rock of the group and kept the girls grounded, especially Lily. Actually, it was Mary that had given Lily the slap that woke her out of her materialistic life.

But here was Mary now, right in front of Lily, declaring her will to fight. Lily looked sideways at Evelyn who seemed at bit confused. Whether this had to do with Noah or with warrior Mary, Lily didn't know that either.

"What does Ben think?" Evelyn asked and Lily raised her eyebrows at Mary awaiting the answer.

"He's fine," Lily didn't believe this. "We both want the same thing and why shouldn't I be fighting for my rights? Perhaps we should practice duelling."

Lily's jaw dropped, "What?"

"Well you two are so good at it and I feel I lack the skills," Mary said.

"We are not practicing that," Lily said firmly.

"Lily, you are so protected in this war. What about the rest of us?" Mary looked pointedly at Evelyn.

"Let's just leave it," Evelyn said, "no one knows what's going to happen. Dumbledore has something planned anyway. Maybe you can practice later but not now." She was the voice of reason right then and Mary and Lily said nothing more on the matter.

Hate grew inside Lily. She didn't hate Mary and Evelyn, though. Right now she saw Mary as a casualty of this war and Evelyn as a wounded soldier. But the hate was intense, worse than her hate for Snape. She hated this war. She hated the effects it was already having. She hated the deaths it was producing. She hated how it was turning a calm and wise girl into a freaking soldier. Something Mary was never meant to be. She wanted to run to James and tell him to do something about it but he couldn't. She wanted to run to her father and tell _him_ to do something about it be he wouldn't.

But perhaps she was going too far. Mary was just wanting to protect herself and saying for the first time that she will be participating in the war. Lily guessed that it was the Christmas party that had inspired Mary.

"Lily?" Evelyn said and Lily snapped back to the real world. "What am I going to do?"

"With Noah? I gave you my opinion, Ev," Lily said.

"But I just feel so indecisive," Evelyn stressed.

"You wanted a boyfriend and here he is," Mary said warmly. She was one hundred per cent supportive of Evelyn and Noah.

"But what if now isn't the time to have a boyfriend," Evelyn pondered out loud.

Lily pursed her lips and glanced outside at the snow covered fields they flew over in the train. She was going to burst, "Evelyn," she looked at her sternly. "If the reason you won't go out with Noah is because of this war then that is completely stupid. Why are you girls letting this war rule your life? Why are you letting it influence your decisions?"

Lily had enough she didn't want to hear one more thing about it so she stood up and exited the compartment. She walked down the narrow way to the end of the train. Leaning against the wooden wall she stared out the window in the door. Her arms were crossed and her jaw strained. A hand traced down her back then wrapped itself around her. Lily closed her eyes, she loved it when he did this. Already feeling relaxed she leaned her head against the wall exposing her neck but he didn't kiss it. Confused Lily opened her eyes and jumped.

"For Merlin's sake, what are you doing?" She asked outraged.

"I saw you down here and you seemed upset," Severus answered.

"Did I now?" Lily asked sarcastically. Her stomach felt sick with what she had just allowed herself to feel in Severus' presence.

"What's wrong?" Severus asked, genuinely concerned.

"The girls are getting caught up in this stupid war. They want to fight, of course, but I… I don't want anything to happen to them. They can protect themselves I know but…" Lily couldn't help but just let it all come out.

"You would feel guilty if something did happen to them," Severus finished her train of thought. She sighed with submission, he was right. "You can save them," Severus said and Lily looked him in the eye.

"How?"

"If you become fully committed to our side you could always ask the Dark Lord to spare them, especially if they don't fight against him." Lily studied his face and he seemed completely serious. Severus held both her arms, "You could save them! Think about it, when this is all over you can still have each other."

Lily stayed still for a long time and Severus eventually let go of her. The rise and fall of her chest was clearly visible and all focus in her eyes was lost. "I better get going. We'll be at Hogwarts soon." As if under the Imperius Curse, Lily walked in a straight line back to her compartment. She sat down without a word and the girls smiled at her. She looked at them both, laughing about something new while their young faces glowed. Mary's perfect warm blonde hair bounced in its waves. Evelyn's deep blue eyes reflected happiness and life as she laughed. Lily couldn't even break into their conversation. She couldn't even try to figure out what they were talking about. All she could think was that she could save them. She could save them from everything.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading!<p> 


	14. Back to Hogwarts

Hello! I finally have the next chapter for you. Much more happens in this one guys so don't worry. I'm going to go straight into the thank you's for the people I can't reply to then you can all start reading away. **Ellie:** I love you girl! You understand which chapters are build up chapters and so on - I love it. You will end up liking Lady Evans? Maybe. ; ) ** Person1234**: I'm glad you're hooked on the story! As for Lily - I know, I know, but she gains more power from here on out. **Black16Lily:** As always, thank you. **Ace-reporter**: I'm not 100% sure if I replied or not, it was a long time ago but thank you for loving the story and I know those scenes are agonizing to read but they're so good to write. And to **Cee **and** Lindsay** on Tumblr - love you both for the inspirational words.

Lastly, good luck to all the year 12 students doing their trials right now!

* * *

><p>"First, there is desire. Then passion, then suspicion. Jealousy! Anger! Betrayal!<p>

When love is for the highest bidder, there can be no trust. Without trust, there is no love.

Jealousy! Yes, jealousy will drive you mad!"

- Moulin Rouge

...

The morning sunlight rose over the Scottish highlands and onto the Hogwarts grounds. It broke through the branches and onto the ground of the Forbidden Forest. It attempted to warm up the rock that the Hogwarts Head Boy and Girl had sat on one morning and it shone through the glass windows of the Gryffindor Tower. James Potter clipped his cloak together, picked up Olivia's letter for Lily and quietly made his way down to the common room. He wasn't surprised to see young Fabius Watkins already waiting. They talked about small things on the way to breakfast, where only a few students had already gathered. Once seated, James recognised a look of anticipation on Fabius' face.

"We don't have to talk about it," James suggested.

"People are going to ask about it, aren't they?" The first year asked with apprehension.

"No," James said, "they will treat you differently but if you act the same as before it won't last long."

Fabius stared down at the table in thought, "I don't know how to act the same. Did you act the same?"

James thought back on returning to school after Christmas break, just as Fabius was doing now. "I tried. Put it this way, I acted the same in class and such. I was only different around my closest friends."

"The Marauders."

"The Marauders," James nodded with a feeling of warmth growing inside him at the sentimental thought of his friends.

"Okay, I'll try but it does it get easier? Not having the people you loved around?" Fabius looked up to James for an answer.

"No but you learn to live with it," James answered honestly and Fabius sighed deeply.

He was silent for some time as he looked around at the other students filing into the Hall for their breakfast. There was no way Fabius could eat right now and he had noticed that James hadn't touched the food either. Perhaps he was just waiting for his friends, though. "How's Quidditch?"

"Great, our new Seeker, Benjy, dedicated the first win to you." Fabius smiled sadly, wishing he could have won the first game. "I'll make sure you're on the team next year."

"But the Seeker position is taken," Fabius said with the sound of defeat.

"You could be a Chaser. Take my spot," James shrugged and could see Fabius' eyes brighten with the hope that not all is lost. He spotted Lily walk in with her friends and smiled. She said something to them then walked over to him alone.

"Morning boys," she said cheerfully while inwardly being amazed at James for getting up early on the first day to meet with Watkins. She sat down next to James so their bodies were touching, "Ready for the first day back?"

"Not really," Fabius frowned, more interested in the thoughts running through his head. Were they together?

He watched James face Lily with a different kind of smile and softer eyes, "Ready as always." Something was different. They were different. It seemed as if they were almost about to kiss or something but then Lily looked back to him, Fabius. "Okay, well, I just thought I would see how you're going but everything seems to be all right." Lily stood up and straightened out her skirt.

"Wait, I have something for you." James dug into his pocket then pulled out Olivia's envelope and handed it over to Lily. "It's from Olivia."

"Oh, how cute," she smiled kindly. "Are you still okay for the Prefect meeting tonight, James?"

"Sure," James said and Lily left tapping the letter against her spare hand. Fabius watched her go and noticed Severus Snape standing near the entrance of the Hall appearing rather displeased. Ignoring the Slytherin, he turned back to James.

"Are you two…" he half asked and James raised his eyebrows. A laugh erupted behind him and Fabius turned around to see Sirius with Remus behind him. Peter sat next to James across the table and the other two sat on either side of him.

"Potter and Evans? No such thing," Sirius said as he began to pile up his plate and now James did the same but Fabius didn't miss the strange look James sent Sirius. He snapped his mind off the subject, it wasn't his business anyway.

Unlike the other Marauders, James didn't bring his books to breakfast so at the end he had to race upstairs to collect them. On his way to class alone he ran into Noah. Both were late so they walked quickly down the empty corridor not really saying anything to each other after greetings.

"Potter and Burke, what an unlikely pair to find," a voice called from behind them. James wasted no time in spinning around and having his wand at the ready. Before Noah had even turned James had already disarmed and sent one of the boys to the ground. He realised it was Mulciber, a person Noah avoided on all costs, Snape was left standing however and Noah quickly went for his wand even though he wasn't entirely sure what he would do with it.

"Getting quicker every day Potter," Snape said slyly and pointed his wand towards Noah. "Shame about your pathetic friend though, he won't last long." Snape flicked his wand but James cut off the spell.

Noah quickly looked at James who seemed completely calm while inside Noah was scared as hell. What in Merlins name had he done to get into this situation? He had never been in a duel or anything like this. To the side Mulciber began to stir after hitting his head on a statue and Noah eyed him carefully. As soon as Snape moved James had already sent a curse which the Slytherin dodged. Snape wasted no time in fighting back and James pushed Noah to the side behind a statue. He watched on as James and Snape sent curses towards each other. Neither said a word but stared each other down with the darkest eyes. Noah could tell that they had done this before. Both seemed to know the others style and favoured curses. He was surprised that neither of them used spells such as _expelliarmus_ or _stupefy, _ones that he would use and had seen used in such occasions. Then he realised that what Snape and James were doing was so much more than that. It seemed that neither would disarm the other because they both wanted to fight it out, to hit the other with the worst curse. To say that they were enjoying it wasn't completely correct but neither hated it. That much was clear.

Snape had no interest in Noah he was only out for James. The same went for James, who paid no attention to Mulciber rising behind Snape. But the offside Ravenclaw watched as the large built boy held out his wand and while Noah had no doubt James could handle both of them he felt compelled to do something. Right before Mulciber could think of or say a curse Noah had jumped out from behind the statue and hit the Slytherin. Mulciber was sent flying back to the end of the corridor and hit the stone wall with force. Noah stood still, shocked at his unknown ability.

James turned to him for the slightest second with surprise and opened his mouth to speak but Noah had seen Snape move to take the opportunity. He jumped in front of James ready to use the same spell he had with Mulciber but before he finished everything was black.

...

"Snape's over there," James tilted his head to the left as he sat on a made bed with his legs crossed.

"What happened?" Lily sat down on the bed between James and Noah with her back to Snape and Mulciber.

"I think it's pretty obvious, don't you agree?" James said glancing over at the other boys. "Burke's a little trooper though."

Lily didn't seem too impressed, "You brought Noah into your and Severus' issues?"

"Quite the contrary, we were on our way to class when Snape and Mulciber attacked. I knocked Mulciber out of the way, put Noah aside and fought with Snivellus. Then Noah jumped out, hit Mulciber with the Impendiment Jinx. I went to say something, Noah went in front of me, took the curse Snape sent to me, I hit Snape and now we're all here hanging out." James said quickly.

"I see," Lily said simply. "You and Severus can't continue doing this in school. More people will get hurt."

James looked at her as if she'd slapped him, "Lily, I told you. I wasn't the one who –"

"But I doubt you made any attempt to stop it. You both would have fought it out without using any simple disarming spell. You both would have treated it as a proper duel." Lily raised her voice in just the slightest way. James looked away suddenly annoyed with her.

"Watkins thinks we're together," James changed the topic as he stretched out one leg.

"So?" Lily shrugged.

"So?" James repeated.

"What is an orphaned first year going to do?"

"What's wrong with you?" James furrowed his brow.

"What do you mean?"

"Orphaned first year? That's rather Snape-like, if you ask me." James said darkly.

"I stopped by you first didn't I?" Lily whispered harshly.

"Because I'm the only one who is conscious," James said with the same tone.

"Still, I could have thrown myself over Severus," Lily added.

"I can't imagine you actually touching him on your own accord," James smirked knowing Lily would have nothing to say to that. "Actually since we haven't really talked since Christmas, _have_ you two been doing anything?"

"You just said I wouldn't touch him on my own accord."

"You wouldn't be with him on your own accord either but look where you are," James shot back.

"I still don't do anything with Severus, I barely talk to him."

"You will have to one day, do something that is," James said seriously.

"He can't force that onto me. Small kisses whatever but anything more, no, and if something more were to happen…" Lily glanced out the window then back to James, "I'll just pretend it's you."

James wanted nothing more than to pull her over to him and to kiss her. It was painful enough just having her sitting there and not being able to reach her. Being back at school made Christmas seem so long ago. Nothing here had changed whereas everything out there did. Lady Fawcett was dead and everybody was preparing to declare war in the very near future. However, at Hogwarts they were put into this routine life. It was like watching the outside world through a glass window, which these days posed as the Daily Prophet. Christmas had been a glimpse of life after school. Attacks, threats and proposals and James still hadn't forgotten what Lord Evans had said.

Sirius walked towards the hospital wing with his mind in another place. No way was he going to the double study period. What messed up person put that on a Monday afternoon anyway? Instead he was going to visit James who was lucky enough, in Sirius' opinion, to be involved in something slightly dramatic and as a reward got the day off. The word had spread quickly enough of what had happened and he wasn't surprised by it. In the very least he was jealous he wasn't there. Remus was also unfazed, he had reacted with a simple rolling of the eyes. Peter appeared a little apprehensive about it but Sirius had brushed his off. The boy always made a big deal of mediocre happenings. He, Sirius, was surprised though that Evans hadn't approached him at all. Perhaps she was the same as him and wasn't terribly concerned about the boys.

He reached the doors with every intention to do the usual exaggerated double swinging door entrance but something stopped him. His hands which should have hit the wooden doors with force returned back to his pockets and he peered through the glass windows. He saw Lily's back and James sitting up, appearing perfectly fine, on the bed in front of her. Noah was on the bed behind Lily and Snape and Mulciber a few beds closer to the door. How Lily had made it up here before Sirius was something to be questioned as he had come directly from lunch. Sirius glanced at Snape and smirked at his sleeping state which made him completely unaware of what was happening metres away.

"Why aren't you studying?" Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked down to the brunette that had just turned up at his side.

"I could ask you the same thing," Evelyn said as she peered through the windows to see what Sirius was looking at.

"Really, you would bother with such a question?"

"Just shut up. Are we going in?" asked Evelyn, "I need to see Noah."

"Noah? That's right, he asked for you on the train," Sirius stepped back away from the doors to give Evelyn his full attention.

"He did?"

"Were you hiding?" Sirius asked with a slightly condescending tone.

"No… maybe… I've been a little bitch," Evelyn raked her fingers through her hair then crossed her arms.

"Aren't you always?" Sirius leaned against the doorframe, curious of this new developing relationship.

"No, at least not like Sophie or Betty," Evelyn compared.

"Aw leave the girls alone, they're not that bad. Now, Noah Burke, what's the deal?" Sirius moved back to the original topic with ease.

Evelyn gazed through the window again to see that he was stirring then turned back to Sirius. "I'm going to ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend."

"A date?"

"A date," Evelyn confirmed with a strong nod.

"Bell going out with nerdy Noah," Sirius pondered on the thought. "That's an extreme change from popular and sporty Leon."

"Yes, well, look where Leon got me. Besides, I'm looking beyond Noah's appearance of perfection and nerdiness and looking at him as a person."

"But his prep and nerdiness had stopped you from making a decision straight away, right?" Sirius pushed himself off the wall and started walking around aimlessly. "What would people think if popular Evelyn Bell dated someone like Noah Burke? Someone on the outside."

Evelyn bowed her head at the truth, "I'm not proud of it but look what I'm doing now. I realised how horrible and shallow I was being about the whole thing. I knew I wanted to date Noah from when he first suggested it."

"And you're going to just slide him into our world?"

"I'm not part of your world, Black."

"You're as good as," Sirius said pointedly, "I imagine you'll be going to Dumbledore's little meeting tomorrow night? Your family has its connections. _You_ have your connections. Just because you don't have a title and crest doesn't mean you're not part of it."

"Noah will be fine. He's talented and he seems okay in there after today. He's a good enough wizard to look after himself and just because we're dating doesn't mean he has to be part of all that."

"Doesn't it?" Sirius questioned. Suddenly the doors opened and Lily and James appeared between them.

"Ev, what are you doing?" Lily asked.

"I'm here to see Noah," Lily's expression changed from confusion to delight in the split second.

"Tell me everything tonight," she whispered into Evelyn's ear then stepped away. "We're off to the study period." Lily began walking with James close behind her.

Sirius paused in front of Evelyn, "He deserves a girl like you. At least once you looked past his reputation."

"Would you watch out for him while fighting?" Evelyn asked in a quiet voice.

Sirius smiled, "No, Burke doesn't need anyone to look out after him and he will be too busy looking out for you anyway." With that, he caught up to Lily and James and pushed himself in to walk between them. Evelyn watched the peculiar trio. They looked like a team, all nobles that didn't want to be and all seemingly born into the wrong life. Sirius playfully pushed Lily to the side and James laughed lightly at something, completely unaffected by the day's earlier events.

With a small smile Evelyn finally entered the hospital. Her eyes moved over Mulciber and Snape and rested on Noah. She couldn't restrain her smile. His short curly brown hair seemed different and his uniform was creased while his tie sat loosely around his neck. She picked up his Ravenclaw sweater that hung over the bottom of the bed for a moment then sat it down as he woke up properly.

"Hey," she smiled at his confusion. Evelyn watched as Noah noticed the two Slytherins and everything came back to his mind.

"Are they okay?" Noah asked sliding up into a sitting position.

Evelyn laughed lightly and moved around to sit at the end of the uncomfortable hospital bed. "I think they'll be fine. I didn't know you were one for duelling."

"Neither did I," Noah said running a hand down his face.

"You did good, saved Potter's arse."

"What happened after I…?" Noah looked back over to Snape.

"From what I gathered James finished Snape after you were hit." Noah imagined the situation as Evelyn said it. Perhaps Snape hitting him was the last straw for James and he finished the whole fight with one spell. It was highly possible. A sense of self pride took over Noah. He had never been in such a thing and yet he had knocked out Mulciber!

"Where's James now?" Noah asked noticing he wasn't there.

"He's fine, he just left." Evelyn picked at the blanket for a moment while they sat in silence. Noah watched her, he hadn't missed that this was the first time they had talked since last term. He wondered if she was here to just be kind or to finally address the topic. Right now he was too tired to be nervous though. Normally his heart would be in a panic if Evelyn sat at the bottom of his bed but now he just didn't have the energy for it.

"Listen," her voice broke his thoughts, "I'm sorry that I didn't write back to you." Evelyn looked up to catch his eye, "And I'm sorry that I didn't go to see you on the train."

"You were just seeing your friends again," Noah shrugged it off.

"No, you don't have to make excuses for me, Noah," the sound of her saying his name was strange. "I should have done all those things. I shouldn't have been petty and stupid. You mentioned in your card about me maybe not wanting to date you because of who you are." Now Noah's stomach tightened at the mention of the card he had been agonising over all Christmas. "And for a while there I guess that was true but now it's not. What does it matter who you are? Look what you did today," Evelyn gestured towards the Slytherins. "That's not something some quiet unsocial guy would do. I think you are more than what you give yourself credit for. You are more than what anyone, including myself, gives you credit for. Ever since last summer I had wanted a guy that looked beyond my exterior, beyond my friends and just saw me for me. So why couldn't I do the same for a boy?"

Evelyn finally paused to take a breath. Noah felt older than ever before. Never had a girl even said that much to him at once. Evelyn then continued, "I like you. I like your style, I like your awkwardness, I like the fact that you are completely blown away by what you did today. I like your cute little Christmas cards," Evelyn smiled like a little girl with her first crush, "I like that you are simple and not dramatic. I like that you don't try to be someone else and that you don't care. And I would like it if you would go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend and if we could keep sitting together in History and if we could keep being partners for assignments." She paused again with her heart beating and her hands slightly shaking. A feeling that she had never really had around him before but one that he had had around her for months.

"Well, only if we get above ninety per cent on the next assignment," Noah shrugged and Evelyn rolled her eyes. She felt her body relax which she didn't even realise was tense.

"You're an idiot," she said with a smile.

"I thought you liked me," Noah crossed his arms.

"Mmhmm," Evelyn slid off the bed as Madam Promfrey made herself present.

"Okay Burke, I think you are good to go but please don't start making a habit of this," she said sternly.

"Of course not, Madam Promfrey," Noah got up and straightened out his clothes and put on his shoes. Evelyn passed him his sweater and they began to leave. Noah stopped in front of Mulciber who was just waking, "I knocked him out."

"C'mon," Evelyn grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the wing.

* * *

><p>"Second night back and you're in the library. Surprise, surprise," Remus walked up to Georgia slowly with his hands in his pockets. The Prefect meeting finished and he had checked the Marauders Map to find her in here.<p>

"NEWT's are soon, Remus," Georgia said without looking up. He moved around the table to rest his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them. She felt her face grow warm at his touch.

"We have months," Remus said in a calm voice while massaging her shoulders.

"Not many," Georgia put down her quill and put her head back to look up at Remus. Finding his tie she pulled it down and kissed him. Remus moved around and relocated Georgia's things on the table so she could sit on it which she did then they resumed their kisses. Georgia moved her hands under his white shirt and felt the unexplained scars that she still hadn't questioned. She loved the feel of his hands on her thigh and on her back holding her up. Whenever they were together it was like her life was slowed down. The rush and pressure she felt from school were minimised. She was addicted to this and she wasn't going to give it up.

...

Slowly the Gryffindor students left the common room and climbed up the stairs to the dorms, finishing their first day back at school. There were mumbles of hatred towards certain teachers for giving homework on the first day but no one seemed to care. Not a single textbook was out and nobody was studying or writing papers. Evelyn had just run through everything with Mary and Lily in their quiet corner away from the louder students around the centre of the room. "I think this is his first detention ever."

"He'll be more than fine, besides, Dumbledore is doing this one." Lily reassured Evelyn with a tired smile.

"Dumbledore?" Mary asked.

"No one else could maintain the peace between James and Severus in a small space. Could you imagine if it were someone like Slughorn watching them? Someone would be killed," Lily said as if it were general information. Her words triggered something in Mary's mind. _James is Snape's and Snape is James'_. Once again it bothered her but she said nothing.

"So Hogsmeade, don't tell me you'll be going to Madam Puddifoot's," Lily cringed at the thought. The love heart confetti and the sickly affectionate couples made it a place she avoided at all costs.

"Anywhere but there," Evelyn agreed with Lily's evaluation of the cafe. "Remember when you and Ben went there once?"

Mary rolled her eyes at the memory, "Yes, and he kept sneezing the whole time because of the scent. We never went back." She kept a straight face and Lily and Evelyn laughed.

"Good times," Evelyn nodded.

"Maybe for you," Mary said less than enthused.

"C'mon Mary, we all learnt from your experience. You did one for the team." Lily tried to lighten her up. At the same time Ben made his way over and stood behind Mary's chair and kissed the top of her head.

"Darling, they're laughing at us," Mary informed him.

"What did we do?" Ben asked the girls.

"Just when you went to Madam Puddifoot's that time," Lily explained.

Ben covered his face with a hand and shook his head, "That was shocking. I swear I have an allergic reaction to that place. Is that where you're going to take Burke?" He asked Evelyn.

"No way, I want to hold onto this one," Evelyn said and Lily smiled warmly at her.

"Fair enough," Ben said, "Mary, do you want to come up for a while?"

"Sure," Mary pushed herself up. "I'll see you girls later."

"Ciao," Evelyn waved with Lily and watched the couple ascend the boy's staircase.

"Lucky girl," Evelyn said through gritted teeth.

"I'm sure you and Burke will get there soon enough," Lily said with a yawn. Casually she glanced around the room and spotted Sirius and Marlene staring at her. They quickly looked away as soon as she saw them. Lily didn't bother to wonder about it and turned back to Evelyn.

"With baby steps, anyway, I'm really excited by it, Lil's," Evelyn faced Lily properly and she could see the happiness on her face.

"By sex?"

"No, by everything happening with Noah, I haven't felt like this for so long. It's like a light amongst all this darkness."

Lily looked at Evelyn sceptically, "That's awfully poetic of you."

"But isn't this how you felt with Potter? Like all this horrible stuff going on was just set aside?" Evelyn said excitedly with wide eyes.

"Hmm," Lily rubbed her own tired eyes. Evelyn wouldn't understand the complete feeling Lily had with James. The extinguishment of nobility, war and family feuds due to the creation of something so much more greater and important. "I suppose it's something like that."

"I'm sorry," Evelyn's face saddened and she held Lily's hand in her own. "I'm sorry that things weren't different. That you two couldn't have each other, you would have been the greatest love story. Two people that hated each other after a simple mistake then finally fell in love later on."

"I guess they only reserve that stuff for novels, particularly Muggle ones," Lily shrugged off her feelings.

"Particularly," Evelyn smiled again and squeezed Lily's hand then let it go. "I'm going to head up and get ready for bed, coming?"

"Soon, I'm just going to tidy this place up a little first," Lily watched Evelyn shrug and leave. She was now the one left in the common room. The whole night she had been watching who was coming and in and out of the room and he still had to come back. The grandfather clock in one corner told her it was just edging on curfew so every other student should, technically, be up in their dorms.

Stretching, Lily shook her head in disgrace; there was no way she was going to clean up the mess in this place. The house elves would do that later. Determined to stay awake nevertheless, Lily moved over to the good couch in front of the fire. She lied down but told herself not to fall asleep. Feeling something in her pocket Lily dug to find the envelope James had given her at the beginning of the day. Carefully, she opened it and pulled out a square piece of parchment with random brushes of paint all over it. In the bottom right hand corner was _To Lily, Love Olivia Fawcett_ in neat adult writing. Lily smiled at the painting then folded it back up and placed it on the coffee table. Her mind drifted onto the little girl, then to when she saw her with James. The matching black hair and Olivia's adoration for him made her begin to daydream again.

James climbed through the portrait hole more than eager to collapse in his bed. That was until he spotted someone's legs on the couch. He walked over and beamed at Lily sleeping peacefully. Glancing at the grandfather clock he guessed it would be safe. He slid off his shoes and unclipped his cloak and draped it over Lily. Gently, he slid under to lay behind her, trying not to wake her. Lily opened her eyes half away and looked over her shoulder to see James. He kissed her lightly and wrapped an arm around her.

"I was waiting for you," she said in a slightly croaky voice.

"Thank you," James kissed her again and pulled her in tightly. Lily turned back around to fall back asleep within seconds finally feeling truly happy.

* * *

><p>"Potter, are you going to be able to stay with us?" Dumbledore peered at the seventh year Gryffindor slightly disappointed he wasn't paying more attention at the serious matter at hand.<p>

"Absolutely, Professor," James ran his hands over his eyes which he had shut for some time and sat up straight. Dumbledore pressed his lips together then walked back to the front of his office to stand in front of a select group of students. James glanced to his left to see Sirius holding in laughter.

"As many of you know, I have decided that it is necessary to start a defence army against Voldemort and his followers. It will be named The Order of the Phoenix. The aim is to identify and capture Voldemort's followers, Death Eater's, and ultimately bring down Voldemort's army." Dumbledore paused for a moment to let the information sink in. James dared to close his eyes again, just for a short moment. Dumbledore surely wouldn't see. Next thing he felt was a clap up the back of his head. Startled, he opened his eyes to see the professor in front of him again and Sirius leaning back from hitting him.

"Nobility does not excuse you from anything in this war or group, Potter! You may graduate into quite a position among the nobles but not among the members of the Order. I believe that within a year nobility won't mean a thing, anyway," Dumbledore spoke sternly.  
>"I did not hold you in detention last night late enough for you to be this tired. So please, if you want stay do so but stay awake!" James nodded obediently.<p>

If he had gone to bed straight after detention he wouldn't be tired but he had stayed awake for hours with Lily sleeping on the couch. Actually, the sun was rising when he woke her up and she shuffled off to bed. Sure, he had drifted in and out of sleep during that time but nothing significant enough to prevent this tiredness. He hadn't expected her to be there though and he guessed that was going to be how things were from now on. Sometimes they would have frequent private moments then other times they might not have any for a week. So he took advantage of the situation.

"All of you are here because you plan on joining the Order after graduation. For some of you that will be later this year, others, next year. I trust you all to keep the select pieces of information I give to you private. Do not put such words into a letter or any written form. Once in the Order you will communicate via your Patronus." This caught James' attention. "I will be teaching you all how to do so along with some other rather important skills. The Order is built up by Aurors and skilled wizards and witches. Now, I believe you all are skilled but lack certain experience. When the time comes I will start classes in small groups to teach you what needs to be taught."

After another half hour the students filed out of the office and split off into all different directions. All the seventh year Gryffindors bar Lily, yet with the addition of sixth years Dorcas Meadows and John Abercrombie, walked slowly back towards the Gryffindor Tower. Evelyn had been particularly quiet throughout the meeting. She wanted to gain as much information as possible so she decided to remain silent. Now, however, she had the will to talk and there was only one person she wanted to talk to. Moving to the front of the group she grabbed James' arm to stop him.

"Can I talk you for a moment?" She asked earnestly and he agreed without hesitation. The others continued on while Evelyn and James sat in an empty class room. "You know I'm not one to talk about this war. I don't state my opinions on it and I don't really make comments." James nodded, he understood what she was saying yet he was not sure as to why she was saying it. "I need you to tell me everything."

"Dumbledore just did," James said confused.

"Yeah, I know, but I want to know it from your side. Dumbledore said that the nobles won't have much power by the end of next year. See, I think that's incorrect. I think the nobles will have a great deal of control over the situation and I want to know things from your perspective."

James' tired eyes opposed Evelyn's wide eager ones but he started to explain anyway. He explained how Voldemort drew power from a war which was already occurring within the noble families then made it into something public and extreme. He explained a reality that neither of them had experienced. He explained how he feels that his own importance is somewhat lowered by the Order and that he's thankful for that. He explained what Voldemort and the Death Eaters are prepared to do and that they know no end. And, for Evelyn's sake, he explained Lily's side of things. Or what he knew of it anyway.

"Do you wish that Lily could be on our side?" Evelyn asked after a moment's silence.

"I wish for a lot of things, Evelyn," James said with finality and stood up making it clear he was done.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" Evelyn pushed herself up to stand in front of James. "Did you two ever end it?" She saw his jaw clench and she held her breath for the answer.

"I never stopped caring about her," James said and without another word walked out of the room. Evelyn slid back onto the desk behind her and stared blankly at the board at the front of the room. It had been last night that she realised that perhaps she was wrong and perhaps Lily was lying. Something about how Lily reacted when Evelyn was asking her what it was like with Potter had sparked her curiosity. Evelyn had been speaking in past tense but for some reason Lily replied in present tense. She said _it's_ instead of _was_, Evelyn was sure of it, even if she didn't pick it up at the time. On top of that, only a fool would think that Lily went to the hospital wing to see Snape.

James reappeared at the door and leaned against the frame, "Are you coming?"

Evelyn jumped off the desk and joined James in walking back towards the Gryffindor Tower. She looked up at him with a crestfallen expression and when James noticed he laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Everything will be okay Ev, you'll see."

* * *

><p>The first Saturday of being back at school came around presenting a bright winter sun after a week of clouds. The Marauders decided to take advantage of it and headed out onto the grounds after a late breakfast. Sirius and James, as always, walked in the middle with Remus and Peter on their sides.<p>

"We've never been up there," Sirius said randomly while squinting his grey eyes to look at the snow-capped mountain directly in front of them.

"Yeah and we're not going to go up there," Remus said with his shoulders hunched against the cold. "Not even as a werewolf would you get me on top of those things."

"Actually, I have a question for you Remus," Sirius said in a voice that made Remus nervous. James and Peter looked at Sirius with slight confusion, waiting for his question.

"Which is what, Padfoot?" Remus dared to ask.

"You've been noticeably absent this week."

"From what? I've been in every class," Remus tried not to give anything away.

"But after dinner you've been missing some nights and you didn't come back to the dorm after the Prefects meeting. And for all of these times you had the map."

James had to tilt his head in acknowledgement to Remus at this one. If he had something to hide at least he was smart enough to have the map with him so curious Sirius couldn't see anything.

"Does my absence bother you?" Remus asked smartly.

"No but as your fellow Marauders I think we should know what's going on."

Remus turned to James for some support but he just shrugged and Peter just looked as intrigued as Sirius. Brilliant. He decided to take his time to answer and he was about to speak when James took an audibly loud inhale.

"You've been with Brown!" His eyes lit up in way they hadn't for a long time. The way they did when he discovered something before everyone else. The way they did he had won, even if he was the only one playing the game. "Georgia Brown – Remus! Sirius you are so daft, how did you not pick up on this."

"You didn't either," Sirius stood up for himself.

"I didn't notice Remus was missing so often."

"Well, thanks," Remus said without being heard.

"Georgia Brown is the one Betty was friends with right? The one Remus went to the ball with?" Peter asked to receive looks of amazement from the others.

"Yes, Wormtail, she is the one I went to the ball with," Remus replied tediously.

"That's phenomenal Remus, really is, so are two… what are you two?" James said with a look of confusion.

"Clearly they're snogging in the library," Sirius said casually kicking a rock along like a ball.

"Well, I won't bother answering any questions then since you've all figured it out," Remus shrugged not really caring.

"Are you really snogging in the library?" Peter asked.

"Not only the library, God," Remus ran a hand through his hair.

"So are you actually dating?" James asked in a more serious tone.

"Not really, I mean, I guess not officially or whatever you want to call it. I don't know but what we're doing now is fine. She doesn't need to know about my condition but I can still help her with her problems."

"But you actually like her, right?" James asked.

"I do, Georgia's actually quite fun when she's not all stressed out. She came over once in the holidays and we went to Diagon Alley and it was a great day." Remus explained.

"So you're kind of like friends with benefits?" Sirius spoke up.

"No, we're exclusive."

"But still friends with benefits," Sirius repeated.

"No, that just sounds sleazy. You don't have to label my relationship with her. I'm happy and she's happy with what we have. If we were in a relationship she'd eventually find out about my problem and leave. At least this way she can't leave because there is nothing _to_ leave!" Remus raised his voice and stopped walking.

A group of girls walked by giggling, most likely at Remus, and James eyed them disapprovingly. The boys stood there silently looking in different directions. The Black Lake, Hogwarts, the far off Quidditch Pitch and the girls previously, all gained their attention. A cold wind ran between them catching their cloaks and pushing a cloud over the sun, dimming their surroundings.

"Maybe she wouldn't leave," James finally said quietly.

"She would, I'm sure of it," Remus said, determined that he was right.

"We didn't leave and Lily knows and she still talks to you and treats you the same. How is Georgia any different? And, honestly Remus, if she did leave you for it that just means she isn't worth it." James stated with the agreeing nods of Sirius and Peter.

"What if she told people?" Remus asked the group.

"You know she can keep a secret," James said in a low voice as if it were just him and Remus.

"If you want to be in a proper relationship don't let your problem stop you and you're right, you're not friends with benefits," Sirius said. "Because, really, you want to be with her properly and that's not a feature of a friend with benefits."

"How sentimental, Sirius," Remus smirked and started walking back up the hill.

Sirius shrugged, "I gave it my best."

Remus rolled his eyes and shoved Sirius down the hill, lightening the mood, "You're really a git, you know that right?"

"Completely aware, Moony, completely aware." Sirius grabbed onto James' shoulder for support as he caught back up with the group walking upwards. James shrugged his hand off then grabbed his arm and pulled him forward up the steep part of the climb. "I noticed you've been slightly absent too," Sirius said quietly as Peter and Remus walked ahead.

"Head duties," James shrugged sending Sirius a knowing smile which he understood.

"Right, Head duties," Sirius repeated.

...

She probably should have known that since it hadn't happened by now it would surely happen this weekend. Lily had just been in the Great Hall catching up with Dorcas Meadows. The last time they had a good talk was while preparing for McGonagall's ball and there was a lot to catch up on. Feeling good about herself and the day Lily began walking slowly towards the Gryffindor Tower alone. Every now and then she would stop to stare out the windows and admire Hogwarts. She was truly going to miss this place after graduation. Part of her wished she could just stay here forever and never grow up. Never be a Lady and never be someone's wife. She pushed her hair behind her ears and turned to continue walking. He startled her when she turned, causing her to jump slightly.

"Severus, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He smirked and pulled her into the room closest to them which proved to be a storage closet for what Lily believed to be different types of plants. The tall walls were covered by jars of all sizes with a name and date scribbled on the front labels. Her face slightly scrunched up in disgust as she looked up then back to Severus. "What are we doing in here?"

"Did I see correctly? You were sitting with Potter?" He accused immediately.

It took Lily a moment to realise what he was talking about, "No, you must have been seeing things with the medication." She crossed her arms to block her body off from his in the confined space.

"I don't think so, I know what I saw. Then that half-blood came in and made a big statement to that low life."

Lily's eyebrows travelled further up her forehead, "Look who's talking. What are you, Severus? A lousy wannabe Death Eater?"

"You came in just to see Potter," he spat the name as he always did.

"So what if I did?" Lily started to hear a passion or aggressiveness in her voice. "Are you jealous?"

Severus' lips thinned out, "Why would I be jealous of him?"

"Because it's still the same," Lily said tauntingly. "Because you still won't have what James and I have and I know it's something you desperately want. I told you, you will never have it, _we_ will never have it. You are jealous that even though we are – regrettably – joined by a contract that I still went to him first." Lily's eyes burned into Severus'.

"I don't know why you are bothering with him still. He knows you're on Voldemort's side. He will give up on you just like he did before." Severus went for anything that came to his head. A part of that statement stung Lily but she wouldn't let it show. She would, instead, just ask James about it later.

"And what will you do? What are you compared to him?"

"I wouldn't just leave you and treat you badly like he did at the end of term."

"Him leaving me and treating me the way he did is something you wanted and revelled in which is no better." Severus went to say something else but failed and Lily smirked. "You're losing your power in this relationship."

"I am not!" Severus hit a shelf and Lily couldn't help but flinch as several jars shook with the threat of falling onto their heads. "It's still how it was in the beginning. It's still as it was after you found out and we were in that room at your house." Severus developed a shake of fury, "You still can't see him! You still can't do _anything_ with him because I won. I won against Potter –"

"You didn't win anything," Lily said in a lower voice than Severus.

"Shut up! I did! I have you and he doesn't. At the end of the day it will be him wishing and wondering what could have been."

"No, I think that will be you."

"It doesn't have to be like this."

"But it's how it's going to be," Lily added quickly.

"I will catch you," Severus moved closer to her.

"I dare you," Lily challenged.

"And then everything will be over well and truly. There will be no going back." His face was almost touching hers. "Both of you will lose everything. Your pride, your love and that passion you spoke of at Christmas will put out like a light."

Lily was the one to move in the closest and she whispered into his ear, "You will lose, like always. And one more thing, I will always go to James first." She pulled away and turned for the door.

"Have you forgotten what I said about Evelyn and Mary?" Severus said right before she left.

Lily raised her head but did not turn back to look at him, "No." She left the room and quickly ran up the stairs before she heard Severus slam the cupboard door behind him. She flicked her head around to see that he wasn't following her and she sighed with relief. Soon enough she made her way to the dormitory where there was only Marlene McKinnon floating around organising her things. She hadn't unpacked properly since they arrived, unlike all the other girls who had everything already sorted.

Lily collapsed onto her bed and stared at the second hand on her clock. It was ticking so slowly, she wanted night to come but time refused to go any faster. She had no idea where the girls were but surely if she waited long enough one would stop by. Her vision blurred at she stared thinking mainly about James. Tonight they would do their first round together in a long time. Both of them knew where they would end up. Her mind then began to imagine James and Severus fighting. She had never actually seen them properly fight like they did on Monday.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Marlene's voice woke her up.

"I'm fine, just… thinking," Lily answered and Marlene smiled.

"We missed you at Dumbledore's meeting the other night," Marlene walked over and sat on Evelyn's bed.

Lily thought back on the night. It had been incredibly lonely here in the dormitory and she avoided going out into the common room so she didn't have to answer questions. Evelyn and Mary hadn't talked about it much and she didn't ask anything. "How was it?"

"Alright, nothing dramatically new or nothing that I didn't already know from Mum and Dad," Marlene said, tightening her cardigan around her against the coolness. "I thought you would have come though."

Lily half smiled, "I just didn't think it would be right. My family is all Voldemort and so is Severus and everyone else who I'll be with after school."

"Doesn't mean you can't fight with us. Once you're out of school they have no control, Lily. It's a war, it's all about betraying and backstabbing. That's the greatness of it. You could be on our side and your family needn't know," Marlene said with a hint of excitement. Lily couldn't pass up her words. The McKinnons were all over this war and Marlene would know her stuff.

"But the thing is I feel that if I did that the people closest to me would be in greater danger. What if they took Mary or Ev' because I was betraying them?" Lily sat up and leaned against her pillows.

"Do they single out James, Remus or Peter because of what Sirius did?" Marlene tested. "Sirius was supposed to be huge. He was supposed to be a vital asset to Voldemort's side and he would have made a great one if he didn't change sides. The girls, like the Marauders, are talented enough to deal with it. Besides, no one will ever be by themselves. No one will let that happen."

"Sirius changed years ago, though," Lily argued back. "And he wasn't promised to anyone."

"It's not like you actually recognise the relationship between you and Snape," Marlene never seemed to run out of points. In fact, it was beginning to seem as if she had thought about all of this before or at least previously discussed it with somebody. "Maybe if you even found out the backstory as to why your parents did that you might be able to squirm out of it."

"I'm starting to believe that there is no backstory. My parents are simply cruel and self-absorbed." Lily said drearily.

"There is always a backstory, my dear. Anyway, I think you should come to the next meeting. There is no reason not to."

"No one expects me to go."

"James expects you to go," Marlene said seriously.

Lily's heart skipped and she didn't know what to say so she just went with "We'll see." Wanting to escape for just a few minutes she rolled off the bed and walked to the bathroom. A tattered parchment with red ink laid out on Marlene's bed making Lily stop in her tracks.

"How did you get that?" She pointed to the Map and Marlene quickly stood up.

She rushed over and folded the parchment up, "Sirius lent it to me."

"For what?"

"Something," Marlene tapped the map with the words _mischief managed_ and Lily had the feeling now that the conversation she just had was rather deliberate. Choosing to look over the matter for now she continued on to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her.

Marlene let out a deep breath now that Lily didn't ask any further questions and that it was all over. She'd never let Sirius put her up to that again.

* * *

><p>The Great Hall was filled with the warm glow of the giant candles and chatter from the students. The teachers sat at their table overlooking the four Houses and talked amongst themselves. House ghosts floated between students recounted great tales that fell upon deaf ears. At the Gryffindor table sat the Head Boy and Girl who were secretly stealing glances, thinking only of what was to come later. A first year that was slowly reacquainting himself with friends and school life. Also at the Gryffindor table sat a boy and a girl that continued to look towards the Ravenclaw table. This was where a girl tried her best to hide her fears so not to worry the boy at the Gryffindor table. Another girl at this table stared at the Gryffindors trying to uncover a secret while planning how to work her way into the elite circle of friends. Lastly at the Ravenclaw table sat a boy who couldn't help but thank the lucky stars that shined above him. He had her and the Slytherins hadn't bothered him since Monday. He still wouldn't dare to turn around to look over the Hufflepuff table to see them though. The Hufflepuff table was where one girl battered her lashes at someone at the Slytherin table but her interests lied solely with a Gryffindor. That person at the Slytherin table was oblivious to this though and fell for all of the Hufflepuff's games. A group of boys further down from him talked in hushed tones. Little did they know that they were being watched by Dumbledore at the teachers table.<p>

Severus couldn't understand her. Was this the thanks he got for telling her lifesaving information? Voldemort would spare the girls but only if Lily fought by him. She didn't have to do anything all she had to do was declare her allegiance. It was not hard! And now she was running around with Potter again. As much as it killed Severus her little confession at least made it official. Now he knew that there was something to find, something to uncover. He had Betty and Peter looking out as well as himself. Surely they would catch them soon. He was ready to play the game because if she wouldn't give into being with him, he would take everything else away from her. He still had to talk to Betty and Peter next week but he was sure they were on board. They were both pathetic and would surely fall for the power trap. There was no way he could allow his friends in Slytherin to help. They couldn't know about this or he would be seen as weak for not having more control over the situation. He knew Avery was very suspicious of what was happening. He, Avery, had mentioned the other day as to why they don't see more of Lily and Severus had made up some petty answer.

Severus was thankful that the Slytherins were not caring and did not visit the hospital wing. If they had seen Lily with Potter, he would have too many questions to answer, just like the one before. Finishing his dinner, he looked past Clarissa on the other side of the table to see an admittedly beautiful Hufflepuff smiling at some fifth year Slytherin. His lips curved into a sneer as another plan created itself in his mind. He knew who she was and she just might be another valuable asset to his greater plans. Lily was right, Severus was jealous and that jealousy was driving him mad.

...

They reached their old rooms and she immediately jumped him, ecstatic to be this close again without being asleep. Her heart beat fast against her chest and the tingles of happiness ran through her like fireflies. He was like her Patronus, as Evelyn said, shedding light on their dark life. Everything disappeared and it was only them, the castle was theirs, the world was theirs. Every part of her was alive again like a flower coming back to life and standing straight once more.

He kept up with her kisses while holding her up against him because he felt all of this too. Nothing compared to these moments and he could never get enough, he always wanted more. She squeezed her legs around him and he wanted to collapse just the way he did when she would run her fingers through his hair and mess it up herself. "I love you," He whispered while kissing her neck.

Her stomach tightened with pleasure and she couldn't help but smile and place both hands on his cheeks to kiss him properly. She had been waiting to hear those words again. They hadn't been uttered since Christmas and she had secretly craved them every day. Both of them started to remove each other's clothes. Lily's dress fell limply to the floor like all the others had before and she stepped out of it. She kicked it to the side with James' clothes. Within moments they themselves joined their clothes on the carpeted floor. Lily's body was overheating with the skin on skin contact. Her breathing was growing heavy as James traced his kisses up her body and ran his hands over her. She wrapped one leg around him and pulled her upper body up to reach him and bring his kisses back to her mouth again. She wanted to quicken the pace again like it had been at the start. James quickly got the hint and their kisses and hands grew faster and more passionate with urgency about them. Even though they could draw this out, which may seem like a better idea since they hardly got the opportunity, they weren't like that. Their relationship wasn't like that. They weren't the type of people to go slowly, they had wasted years and now when together there was no time to play around.

She arched her back with a moan at the familiar feeling. James had to smile at her expression of pleasure. He loved it; this was Lily in her most freeing state. This was her living in the moment and not caring about a single thing. He pushed the hair that was getting on her face away so he could lean down to kiss her and be even closer. She ran her fingers incredibly lightly down his back and the inside of his thighs which gave him goosebumps and pushed him over the edge. Lily smirked at him upon noticing his reaction. Feeling teased, James wasted no more time. If Lily wanted to play like that so would he. Her voice began to grow louder as she said incoherent words. Until the last one in which she covered her mouth and bit her bottom lip. Her whole body seemed to collapse even though she was already on the floor. Her chest, as it always did afterwards, rose up and down visibly and her breathing was audible.

James had gotten up and started a fire in the old fireplace with a flick of his wand. He pulled on his bottoms and threw Lily her dress to stay a bit warmer. Lying down next to her again he pulled her up to lie on top of him and she rested her head on his chest, listening silently to his heartbeat which gradually slowed down. She kept her eyes half open as she stared into the darker side of the room. The fire created irregular shapes on the wall that flickered and danced. She tried to make things out of them but it was impossible so her mind wandered somewhere where she had hoped it would not go tonight. A longing to be able to be back in these rooms overwhelmed her. It was painfully strong and she felt robbed of her time in here. They were clever enough to take it away from them and Lily hated it.

She felt James run his hand over her hair continuously and her whole upper body rose up with his deep breath and sigh.

"Dumbledore's come up with this great way of communicating to other people in the Order," he said, giving away what he himself was thinking about.

"How's that?" Lily asked.

"By using Patronus' to deliver messages, it's genius. That way no one can intercept the message like they could with an owl and it's much faster than an owl too."

"Teach me," Lily said quietly. She had been trying on and off since her first attempt in the holidays but still she hadn't formed a corporeal Patronus.

"Teach you to cast a Patronus?" James clarified, he moved so Lily would roll off him. She pushed herself up and grabbed her wand. James slowly followed suite and put on his shirt and sweater as well. "Do you know the general idea?"

"I've been practicing here and there but, you know, nothing happens," Lily admitted with disappointment.

"Alright, so you need to think of that memory. That one truly happy memory," James started with his own mind replaying the moment when he finally achieved this spell with his father. That night seemed lifetimes ago now.

"What's your memory?" Lily asked curiously, seeing that James' mind was somewhere else.

"I have a few stored away," James avoided the question. "So are you ready?"

Lily frowned and thought back to her memory. It was a new one and perhaps it would be enough. "Ready."

"Right, so it's like this. _Expecto Patronum_," the familiar stag formed itself in front of her eyes and walked towards her. James had cast it with such simplicity it was as if we was just calling upon an old friend. It disappeared in the dim room and Lily immediately felt the pressure to perform.

She breathed in deeply and let the memory consume her, "_Expecto Patronum_!" The sliver smoke formed something but nothing complete. It had caused the room to become much brighter but still Lily threw her head back in frustration.

"That would have made a good guard," James tried to brighten her spirits.

"Against a mouse," Lily ridiculed herself.

"Are you afraid of mice?"

"James!" Lily groaned. He stood in front of her, pushed the strands of long hair behind her ears and kissed her forehead.

"You can do it. Try again," James said in a calm voice.

"I don't have a good enough memory," Lily mumbled. She felt like a child but this really was becoming a rather frustrating thing. She had been practicing for weeks now.

"Then I'm offended," James started to trace kisses down her cheek. "You can't think of a single time between us that made you truly happy?" He asked between kisses.

"I have," Lily said standing there, "I tried dancing at the ball. Spending time in here…"

James smirked, "No, no, no. How about how you felt while sneaking up here after dinner to have sex? Or how about just lazing around together afterwards?" He kissed her properly then moved away.

"Is that your memory?" Lily stared at him.

"Maybe, I said I had a few," James said with a give-away smile.

"Fine," Lily shut her eyes for a moment to relive those times, James running his hand over her back and chasing him out of the hall. Meeting each other in the stairwell and kissing each other on the way up. Then the excitement that ensued once they reached their room. She felt James run his hand down her back, breaking her from her thoughts. His other hand found a resting spot on her thigh then bunched up her dress in a fist. She felt him kiss her neck from behind then let go of her.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" There it was, her own full corporeal Patronus. A doe, just what she had expected. The beautiful animal pranced around them and Lily felt an indescribable connection to it. Within seconds, though, it disappeared. The room returned to its normal lighting and Lily breathed again. Speechless, she turned to James who held a very solemn expression. "What's wrong?"

Every part of him wanted to tell her not to use it. The Patronus was a dead giveaway. Then again maybe people would pass it off as a coincidence or not even make the connection at all. "Nothing's wrong."

"Are you worried that people will know why it's a doe?"

"No, it's fine. I mean, how often would you use it anyway?" James shrugged off any sign of concern.

"Probably not that often, considering it's not a thing they use," Lily said.

"Right," James said but Lily knew he wasn't saying everything on his mind. Suddenly he smiled and kissed her, "Don't worry about anything. It was perfect."

"Severus said something to me the other day," Lily started and James didn't say anything, he just waited for her to continue. "He said that if I join Voldemort's side I could ask him to spare Evelyn and Mary and he would."

James threw his head back and sighed deeply. He looked at Lily with all seriousness and wrapped his arms around her, "That's not true." He whispered, "And you know it's not."

"But what if –"

"There are no what if's with that situation. It's a complete and utter lie. Why would Voldemort spare anyone who didn't follow him? And on top of that, do you really want Mary and Evelyn to step down and not fight? If they want to, they want to, you can't change that and what are you going to do when you're stuck on Voldemort's side and he kills them?"

"What side do you see me fighting on? When you imagine the war, where am I?" Lily pulled herself out of James' embrace as she questioned him.

"I don't see you fighting at all," James answered. "Wouldn't Snape keep you safe somewhere?"

"That's not the answer I'm looking for, James," Lily stressed.

"Then what answer do you want?" James asked, not interested in playing games.

"What side do you see me on? Am I fighting against you or with you? Will there be a time when we are fighting and it comes down to the two of us? Will you not be able to react if I'm injured or dead on the ground?" Lily repeated her mother's questions and she could see James' mind running fast. His eyes were focused on hers but he was somewhere else. In a place where all of these scenarios were real and Lily wished she could see them from his point of view.

"I would always react if something happened to you."

"But what –"

"My side!" James raised his voice then ran a hand down his face and continued in a softer tone. "I imagine you to be next to me."

"…_She has nothing on our side."_

_"She has you." James looked at Sirius for the first time since they started talking and met his eye…_

…_"But you have nothing on James' side."_

_"I have him!" Remus smiled at Lily's retaliation…_

"Right, I'm going to see Dumbledore."

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading!<p> 


	15. The Rain

Well girls, here we are after one crazy month. My excuse is - life. I've just been so busy working and being 'social' that little LDE got put on the back burner. You may also blame JasminePotter93, because I get busy writing emails instead of chapters but seriously, don't blame her. Rewind to one month ago and I was deliriously happy with all your reviews! I'm so amazed at having this one little family of regular reviewers and I try hard to keep up to your standards. For example this upcoming scene between Dumbledore and Lily was written FIVE time. So if you don't like it, I don't care. Also, I want to mention that Lily may or may not go back into the type of Lily that none of you like (I know, I know) but it's only in this chapter because I needed Dumbledore to say something important and it would have been strange for her not to react. Moving on I must thank the people I can't reply to when they review (though I bet none of you remember what you wrote): **Lindsay**: Thank _you _and I'm glad you loved it. **Black16Lily**: I made you cry YAY! Also, thank you for favouriting yesterday :) **Meg** I love your enthusiasm and that you love the direction of the story. **Babyjayy**: Here is your update! Also to the** Anon reviewers on Tumblr** over the recent days that have been asking for an update - thank you for giving me that final push. If I missed someone I'm sorry but it seemed you all mainly accounts this time :D

So, let's start shall we...

* * *

><p><em>I've got to be the only one or we can't go on <em>

_– Eyes On Me by Celine Dion_

_..._

"I was expecting you," the old Professor slowly turned away from his telescope to see an exhausted Lily Evans standing in his doorway.

"I want to join the Order," Lily held her head high awaiting Dumbledore's questions.

"Is that so?" he started as he made his way from the open window to his desk where he sat. "And what spurred this moment of confidence may I ask?"

"I just think it's time I did something about it. For years now I've always just waited it out doing nothing and attempting to ignore the matter. But I can't do that anymore." Lily spoke with her sweaty hands clasped together in front of her. Her heart rang in her ears and she let her thoughts rest on James for confidence.

"You're right, you can't let this go any longer but I must admit I thought you were going to stay with your family, with Severus."

"Why?"

"Everything you have is on that side of the war. Besides some of your Gryffindor friends who do you have in the Order? The group consists of many more people than ten or so students. There are adult members who feel very strongly against you and your family. I can imagine it would be a very difficult position to be in, were you to join."

Lily hadn't thought about the older members but she didn't care, "Sir," she started and looked to her feet for a moment before continuing, "I have a great deal on your side. A great deal that has been such a constant pull that I can't ignore it anymore. And it's always been there, every day for a long time now. Every day slowly pulling me to where I am right now, asking you to let me be in the Order. And as for those other members, I think once they know me they will understand why I'm there. They will see that my beliefs are the same as theirs and they will see that, in many ways, I'm just the same as Sirius who I imagine they already know."

"And they will see how James loves you," Dumbledore added and Lily closed her eyes with deep breath. "He is the great deal is he not? The constant pull?"

She opened her eyes again and pushed her hair behind her ears, "It's not just about James."

"I know," Lily relaxed slightly with Dumbledore's words. "But Lily, please do not get confused. Joining the Order does not mean you will have James."

She felt that, she really, really felt those words. It was as if they were a curse and they hit her will full force. Somewhere between something she had forgotten this fact. Somewhere along the line she had thought that being in the Order meant having James. She had thought that fighting beside James meant being with James. And how was he admitting that he wanted her on his side any different from him admitting that he loved her? Those were the same but being in the Order and having him were not.

Her mouth had gone dry so she turned away from the Dumbledore to look somewhere else. Fawkes was sleeping, clouds were beginning to cover the moon, Dumbledore really needed to dust. She didn't want to take in what she was just told. Her mind stayed to absolutely anything but the new information. It shouldn't have been new, though, and it shouldn't have hurt the way it did.

"Lily?" said Dumbledore quietly, "You did realise this?"

Lily turned to face him blinking back the wetness in her eyes and with a shaky breath she gave a weak smile, "Sure, it makes sense."

"Joining does not cut the tie your parents have made between you and Severus. That is out of my control and is something you must start recognising whether you dislike him or not." Dumbledore spoke softly as if not to upset Lily and she hated it. She hated being told what to do by him. It was perhaps the same way James felt when Dumbledore told him to finish everything.

"Professor it is my own choice whether I recognise the forced relationship between Severus and I or not. One day it won't exist anymore and I will forget it was ever there."

"But until then it exists and being in the Order does nothing for it. It will only cause trouble you realise."

"It's a war," said Lily with a voice that wasn't hers. The tone belonged to James, strong and defining with no nonsense. "The trouble this will cause will only be minuscule compared to the bigger picture."

Dumbledore didn't seemed convinced, "What about your family?"

Lily almost laughed, "What about my family? I don't have one. The only family I have is my friends here at school. So, really, I'm only following my family to where I should be."

"You're set on this aren't you?" Dumbledore gazed at her sternly now. Question time was over.

"Yes, I need to be in the Order. If I…" Lily breathed in, "If I die, I want to die in the Order not on some side that I didn't believe in. I want to die fighting to what believe is right."

"I'm relieved that you realise that death is a real factor of war. I'm afraid that some students still can't grasp the concept," Dumbledore spoke with grave concern then bowed his head for a moment.

Lily squeezed her hands; she didn't have a grasp on the concept of war. She thought she did but she was also sure that she had no idea. However, if Dumbledore thought she did then she wouldn't argue with him. He seemed to be taking his time thinking it over. Every few moments Lily's stomach tightened either with fear or excitement. What if he said no? Then she would be with Severus forever but what if he said yes? Things would be different.

"Lily," finally he found her eyes again, "give me some time."

Lily nodded and was about to speak when he interrupted.

"Let's keep this between us for now. And one more thing I know you don't like me making suggestions about your personal life but please, I advise you to seriously thinking about what you're doing with James. Perhaps, for now, Severus would be the better option and being with him, or at least trying to be with him, might help you more than you could ever imagine in the end."

Lily was struck speechless and so she closed the door behind her without another word. She had gone from something edging on euphoric to something closer to dread. She didn't want to believe what Dumbledore had just said. She would forget it or at least try.

...

For the second time that night she climbed through the portrait hole only this time she wasn't greeted with a cold dark room. Her breath escaped her at the sight. The fire was raging and everything was back the way it used to be. The couch was there, James' broomstick was even lying on the ground near the unused desk and for the first time she didn't have the intense urge to pick up. Continuing on she noticed the names on the doors again. Automatically, Lily turned for her own room but then she stopped her hand. She didn't want to go in there, she didn't want to see it so she turned to the room that had once been Pandora's Box. To the room that she had once forbidden herself to go into and to the room she had once broken down in on a dark cold night, crying into a scarlet Potter sash.

Lily pushed the door open with a new feeling of excitement. Everything, just like outside, was exactly the same. James' school tie hung on the doorknob and his school books lied randomly across the floor. The smell of the room embraced her as it always did, giving her the feeling of home and safety. Her eyes became heavy at the thought of how the night was spent and she allowed her legs to lead her to the bed and to collapse face down on it.

Lily thought about the Order and about how James would react. Every scenario played out in her mind like a short film. Fighting next to James, seeing Severus out there and coming home to James at the end of the day… she thought of everything. All until Dumbledore's reminder struck her but she forcibly pushed that out of her mind because for now she wanted to believe that being in the Order meant she had James. Reaching that funny stage of half sleep and half awake, Lily heard the door open. She stretched out but didn't turn to see as she knew it was James. He flopped down next to her and pushed the hair out of her eyes with a small smile.

"I know," he whispered and she shut her eyes.

But he didn't know because this part wasn't real. The first thunder cracked and the school week began.

* * *

><p>"What is wrong with all of you this morning?" Nancy scolded the house elves and other helpers in the house. She held reign over them all, besides Lord Evans' personal elf, Thaddeus. Now they were shuddering and running around frantically as she walked down the narrow corridor in their quarters. She reached the kitchen and suddenly understood the commotion. There sat Lady Evans with a blotchy face and defeated expression. Never, not once, in her life had Nancy seen Lady Evans like this. Lady Evans always had porcelain skin and a flawless appearance. More importantly Nancy was quite sure that Lady Evans had never set foot in the maids quarters, and yet, here she was on their bench at the long wooden table in the kitchen.<p>

Lady Evans noticed Nancy at the door, "Oh, Nancy, come here." Admittedly awkwardly, Nancy walked over and sat next to her. "My mother would kill me," she said with a quivering voice. "She would tear me apart and announce me a horrid, _horrid_ mother. I've ruined her life!" Lady Evans looked to the heavens as she spoke.

Nancy didn't know what to say, words were running through her mind but they wouldn't stop for her to form a sentence. She wouldn't dare touch Lady Evans either to provide comfort or understanding.

"My mother," Lady Evans started again, "would have been better for her, better for Lily. Those two had a bond, a bond that I missed out on. I regret not listening to her. I really, really do." She dabbed her eyes with the white lace rimmed handkerchief she held tightly in her hand.

"I don't think your mother would hate you if she were alive," Nancy dared to speak but her voice was timid.

"Oh, yes she would! She would have had me hung in that sick Muggle way for what I've done to Lily. She would have let her do what she wanted. Let her be with James Potter for all I know. But why doesn't Lily understand?" Lady Evans picked at the lace. "She cannot be with Potter. It's not that she's with Severus, it's not it's that there is a tradition and respect for family. There is a divide between our families, a well-known and understood divide. Does she really – is there really something between them, Nancy?" Lady Evans looked at Nancy for the first time.

"I don't know," she answered, following strict instructions from Lily.

"You do, I know you do. She tells you everything," Lady Evans said with clear jealousy in her voice.

"Lily is a smart girl," Nancy avoided the question.

"Then why did she sneak off with him at the Christmas party? I've been thinking about it and I know she did."

"I know nothing of this –"

"I have to protect her," said Lady Evans with determination and Nancy nodded with approval.

A house elf timidly walked in and spoke more to Nancy than Lady Evans, "Lord Fawcett is here."

Lady Evans stood up at once and straightened out her robes in an attempt to appear dignified but Nancy did not miss the confusion on her face.

"Were we expecting?" Nancy asked.

"No, no we were not," Lady Evans answered in a firm voice. She escorted herself out of the room and out of the staff quarters. It didn't seem right, not at all. What would Lord Fawcett be doing here? They had been expecting Lucius today but then again she doubted he would step outside in this weather. With her head held high she entered the entrance hall to find Lord Fawcett removing his drenched dark grey travelling cloak and her husband welcoming him into their home. Much to Lady Evans' surprise Lord Fawcett seemed completely at ease with her husband, something people on _that_ side of this war were usually not. It made her uneasy but she would never admit to it.

"Ah! Iris, Michael is here for a small talk, nothing too dramatic I assure you," Lord Evans stepped back as his wife and Lord Fawcett shook hands.

"What do you plan on talking about?" Iris asked Michael while clasping her hands together with a fake smile.

"Just little things."

"Well, I can't even imagine what _little things_ there would be to talk about since you two have nothing in common," Iris pushed on.

"Dear," Lord Evans said sternly with a warning glance, "we'll be making our way to the office now."

"Lovely, I'll just wander about down here then, have some tea, I suppose," Iris searched around aimlessly with her eyes while the two men disappeared up the stairs. She waited a good ten minutes before casting a silencing charm over herself and hurried to the office. They wouldn't be able to hear her walk past and enter the next room. She knew the walls were thin between the two rooms and hearing what was happening shouldn't be an issue.

The pouring rain was the only problem as it would drown out many words, especially her husbands with his low soft voice. Making herself comfortable she pressed her ear against the wall and listened in.

"I haven't heard anything from the others. I believe they remain quite oblivious to the whole matter. Dear old Lady Potter doesn't even seem to notice it."

"She sees what she wants to see. Edward would have noticed it within a second…" Iris missed the rest of her husband's sentence but very quickly did it become clear that they were talking about Lily and James.

"Nothing happened at the Potter's which, I must admit was quite disappointing. They simply acted as good school friends." Now everything was coming together in her mind. "I've heard from a very good source that Severus is hardly jealous. Not in any way jealous enough to kill."

The room was silent for a moment and Iris strained to hear her husband speak next, "Lily had made a rather passionate speech about everything Severus lacks but he remained unfazed, at least from the outside. I just need to see some emotion from that boy because so far it seems my plan is not working."

"I know exactly what would make it work. It would be the exact thing that would make young Severus snap and without doubt attempt to kill young Potter at this first chance."

Iris' eyes widened. Had her husband really hoped that Lily would go for James and that it would inevitably make Severus so angry and jealous that he would kill James? Had really, just now, admitted that he had all along planned for Severus to do his own dirty work? Killing off the last Potter?

"I still can't have Lily with James. It was to only be a measly thought in Severus' mind, not a reality. I still stand by my family's tradition and beliefs." Iris had never heard her husband speak of Severus this way. He usually spoke of him as if he was already his son but now, now he spoke of him like he was useless rubbish.

"Oh no, my plan doesn't involve Lily and James being together at all. I firmly believe that there is something far more greater than that which would make Severus just how you want him to be."

Iris didn't want to hear anymore. She should have stayed but she didn't. She should have listened in so she would have, for once, known what was happening but she was weak so she left. She picked herself up and made her way to the bedroom she shared with a cruel hearted man. In hast, she picked up a quill and parchment and sat at her desk to write but nothing came out. What was she to say to her daughter after all these years?

* * *

><p>"What happened last night?" James walked up beside Lily but continued to keep his gaze ahead.<p>

"I went to Dumbledore," Lily, too, kept on looking forward.

"And never came back," said James pointedly.

"Did you wait?" Lily finally looked up to him but only for a short second. He never answered her question.

"You went to join the Order," it wasn't a question.

Lily suddenly became very aware of her surroundings. Students buzzed around them making their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. A group of Slytherin girls laughed wickedly at something they had shared between them and Lily felt strangely affected by it.

"What did he say to you?" There was something new in James' voice and Lily knew he was remembering that time he had spent with Dumbledore. The time where he had urged him to stop seeing Lily for both of their sakes.

"Keep walking to the boat house," she mumbled but she knew he heard.

They walked silently all the way to the boat house, neither of them saying a word.

As usual as soon as they were out of sight they immediately went for each other, quenching the thirst and desire. James instantly removed Lily's Gryffindor scarf so he could trace kisses up her neck. He dropped the scarlet and gold thread over an ore and placed his hand on the small of her back with pressure. The rain began to fall into the lake with force creating millions of ripples and a deafening sound on the roof.

"What did he say, Lily?" James whispered into her ear, against her frizzing damp hair. "Are you in the Order?" He felt a rush of suspense, something he wasn't accustomed to.

"I think so," Lily replied breathlessly with a nod, "I think so." She let herself smile and let herself believe that she was in. James didn't need to know Dumbledore's last words. She wouldn't ruin this moment like he had ruined last night.

James pushed her hair back and studied her face with those soft eyes. He smirked at the thought of it all, finally he had Lily. "You won't regret it. It was the right thing to do, I'll show you."

"I know but Dumbledore didn't forget to mention that it doesn't mean that we can be together," her smiled disappeared.

James leaned forward and kissed her forehead then lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. The soft smile that only those closest to him knew was reserved for her spread across his face with a sigh, "Oh, Lily." He wrapped his arms tightly around her, resting his chin on the top her head. They both loved this, the way she fit perfectly underneath him, as if they were made for each other. The perfect fit.

James spoke gently, "You weren't to join the Order for us. You were to join for you because it is what you believe in and it is who you are."

"Is it?" Lily asked in a split second of insecurity.

"Yes and it is where you belong."

"Because I'll be next to you," Lily added quietly.

"Precisely," James kissed the top of her head again the moved back to kiss her lips. He kept one arm wrapped around the small of her back while she leant backwards smiling into the kiss.

She would forget what Dumbledore said. She had to.

But she didn't and she couldn't because in the following days whenever she saw Severus, Dumbledore's words were the first to come to her mind and soon enough James would pick up on it.

...

"You might be missing this," Marlene shoved the Marauders Map against Sirius' chest on Monday afternoon.

"So you did it?" Sirius asked as he folded the map up and put it away.

"Yesterday afternoon," Marlene confirmed and pushed herself up onto the ledge of an arc in the cloisters.

"And you're returning the map _now_?"

Marlene shrugged, "I think I deserved to have some fun with it after your rather tricky request." She swung her legs out repeatedly while watching Sirius smugly.

"All right then. What was the outcome?" Sirius crossed his arms and leaned against the frame of the arc.

"I definitely hit a nerve," Marlene recounted, surveying the students walking past them.

"You mentioned James?"

"Well, it wouldn't have been as successful as it was if you hadn't told me about them. So yes, James was mentioned," Marlene nodded defiantly.

"Do you think she'll go to the next meeting then?" Sirius watched Marlene intently.

She looked up at him, "I think she will."

"Good work, McKinnon," Sirius was impressed, he had to admit.

"I don't need your praise, Sirius. Just don't ask me again, it wasn't easy and I know she was suspicious." Marlene went silent for a moment and they both just watched the students walk by. "I don't understand though, why does she need so much convincing?"

"Because Lily over analyses everything, she needs to be pushed and I think –"

"But isn't James enough?" Marlene cut in.

"If you're not careful with that information," Sirius sent her a warning glare.

"Sorry, sorry, I – James!" Marlene changed her tone and Sirius spun around to see his best friend approaching them.

"What are you two doing?" James looked between them.

"Talking," Marlene answered.

James was about to say something when his attention was lost on the redhead walking across the courtyard, he hadn't seen much of her since that morning. Marlene twisted around to Lily running towards them in the light rain.

"Sirius," she said as she reached them, "you're coming with me!" Without even acknowledging James or Marlene she grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him along with her.

Marlene turned to James, "I guess she's had a change of heart."

"It was a doe not a dog," James muttered quietly and smirked at Marlene, "What's with you and Sirius anyway? You seem to be making a habit of these private chats."

Marlene laughed lightly, "I don't think there'll be many more." It started getting darker and the students started dispersing, soon it would be dinner. "James?"

"Hmm?" He turned his attention back to her.

"Nothing," Marlene pushed herself off the ledge of the arc, deciding it was better not to say anything now.

"Since when did you get Marlene to do all of your plotting?" Lily finally slowed down to come to a stop on the hill that ended at the Black Lake. The rain seemed to be holding off so they chanced going outside.

"She said you were suspicious," said Sirius.

"I'm right aren't I?" Lily tried to hold his gaze but Sirius just looked up to the sky.

"You wouldn't listen to anyone else."

"You had never said such things before. _You_ never told me that James expected me to go to that meeting. _You_ never told me that James wanted and expected me to fight beside him. _You_ –"

"Oh c'mon, Lily!" his abruptness made her step back. Sirius grabbed her before she slipped and pulled her back up to stand straight. "It was always obvious. He wished for nothing more than for you to make the move and change over."

"I've done it," said Lily.

"You have?" Sirius' brow furrowed.

"Last night, I went to Dumbledore and asked to be in the Order."

"And…"

"And he's going to work some things out."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, "Come here." He wrapped his arms tightly around Lily. Only Sirius could understand what Lily had just lost, though she hadn't realised it herself yet. And even if he was the one to initiate the final push that made her let go of it he didn't feel guilty at all.

"There's just something," Lily said carefully moving to stand beside Sirius with her arms crossed against the cold.

Sirius picked up the concern in her voice, "What?"

"Dumbledore told me that it would be more beneficial to be with Severus," Lily hadn't repeated these words until now and they felt so wrong.

"You're not considering are you?"

"No, I just don't understand it," Lily said quickly.

"Don't try to and don't let James know that you even thought of such a thing."

"I won't," it wasn't a promise though and she felt that Sirius sensed that.

"Lily, you can't start jumping between them. James won't have it; you'll never get him back if you go there even once."

"Lily!" They both turned around to see Evelyn and Mary standing at the large door leading out onto the grounds. Their figures were silhouetted by the light coming from inside, "Get in here now!"

"Don't tell anyone about the Order," Lily said seriously.

"Don't tell James about Severus," Sirius warned her in return. In mutual understanding they hiked back up to the castle just before the rain started again.

* * *

><p>"Lily… Evans… <em>Lily<em>," Mary poked Lily's arm with the tip of her quill.

"What?" Lily rubbed her arm and glared at Mary, "Maybe you should go and sit with your boyfriend if you're going to be hostile."

"Maybe I should if you're going to start staring at Snape like that when he walks into a room!" Mary hissed. Lily quickly scanned the Charms classroom to see that Evelyn was staring at them from Noah's side. She shook her head letting Lily know that she had also seen. Then Lily turned slightly to see Remus muttering something to James and then there was Sirius who was staring at Severus with pure hatred, as usual.

"What is wrong with you? What's happened?"

"Nothing has happened," Lily tried to shrug it off.

"No, something has happened. Do not dare tell me that you are now thinking about Snape? Do not even think about telling me that when you come to bed late at night it's because you've been with _him_ instead of Potter."

"I'm sorry, if it happens again slap me or something," Lily shook Dumbledore's words out of her mind.

"Gladly," Mary grumbled.

"Don't," said Remus sternly.

"Don't what, Moony?" James acted innocent.

"Don't do whatever you thinking of doing. I know that look and I must admit it's been rather absent lately. What happened?" Remus began to pull his textbooks out of his bag.

"I don't know," James opened the thick book in front of him and pretended to read.

"_Something_ has happened, you haven't tensed up like that at the sight of Snape for months. Actually, I remember seeing it when you suspected something between Lily and him."

"In fifth year? I think your memory has betrayed you. I don't suspect anything between them," James said in a matter of fact tone, never taking his eyes off his textbook. His plan of silence didn't last long though, "Did you see her looking at him?"

Remus turned to Lily then back again, "Yes."

"_Thank you_," said James as if Remus just confirmed all his beliefs.

* * *

><p>"You're thinking about him," James accused as soon as they reached the common room on a Friday afternoon. Lily looked past him to see a few students staring.<p>

"James, we're not alone." He turned to see the staring Gryffindors who quickly turned away.

"Well, then," he said in a dangerous voice, "we'll go somewhere completely private. Where there will be no one and where no one will hear a single word."

He tugged her out the portrait hole and began walking in the complete opposite direction to their old dormitory, the place Lily had thought he meant. They also walked past their usual spare classroom where the Prefect meetings were held. Lily grew slightly concerned when they reached the Entrance Hall. It had stopped raining but the grounds where completely muddy and she had no desire to experience any of it. James never stopped though so with a frustrated moan she followed him… to the Quidditch Pitch.

"This is ridiculous," she said with a flick of her wand which cleaned her legs. She was slightly wet from the sprinkling rain and so was James.

"It's private." They stood in the change rooms staring each other down. "You've been thinking about him," James repeated, "since Monday."

"Severus?" Lily knew James had caught her staring at him, Severus, more than once now.

"_Yes_ Snivellus! Lily, don't, just please don't do it because if you do we'll never get this back." James spoke in that dangerous tone again.

"But what if it meant we could have this?" Lily stepped back and immediately felt foolish for it.

"Where is the logic in that?" James threw his hands in the air unable to understand her.

"Dumbledore said that perhaps it is the better thing to do right now," Lily defended herself.

James ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm down, "You – you guys put so much trust into that man." He shook his head in disbelief. "If Dumbledore told you to go for a swim in the Black Lake, would you? If he told you to practice Avada Kavada on, oh I don't know, Evelyn, would you?"

"No. Besides James, it was you who said that one day I will have to do to things with Severus. You said that just last week in the hospital wing.

"I meant in the future, as in, once we're finished school. Whatever happened to us enjoying the time we had left until graduation? That was original plan."

Now it was Lily's turn, "You and I both know we've gone past that. Maybe that would have worked if things had stayed as they were in the beginning but they haven't. We've reached the point that we were warned of. We've reached the point where I depend on you and you…" she hesitated, "… you give too much of a damn to go back. If we were able to stop we would have done so over Christmas but we couldn't and we can't. I've given up my family for this, I've joined the Order for this. I've clearly demonstrated the lengths I will go to."

"Just don't do this one," James hadn't been affected as much as Lily would have liked but that was just them. He could take whatever she dished out to him.

"Why not?"

"I told you, we won't be able to get back to this if you do. You joined the Order with the hope of maybe being able to be together, if you do this, you can forget about that."

"It's only you that would prevent it. It would only be temporary."

"That's just it Lily, it wouldn't be temporary!" James finally snapped. "You won't be able to get out of it and by the time anything were to happen we'd be finished school." He paused for a few breaths before closing the space between them. "Don't do it."

He rested his forehead on hers like he did the other day. "Do you remember," he started, "a few nights after McGonagall's ball where you were reading and I told you I didn't want to be friends anymore?"

Lily had her eyes shut as he talked. She knew full well what he was doing and was unable to stop herself from falling for it, "I remember."

"Do you remember you were wearing that little thing and I ran my hand down you side?" She didn't know when his hand had made its way under her jacket and top but it had and now he was repeating every move. Just like back then she felt goosebumps and tingles run across her skin.

"Do you remember," James continued moving to brush his lips over her cheekbones with chaste kisses, "how scared you were?"

"I wasn't scared," Lily lied and James smirked.

"You were too innocent to not be scared," his hand kept running up and down her side. "Do you remember when I finally kissed you?"

He paused just short of her lips which were already slightly apart waiting. He only brushed them with his own and pulled away. Lily opened her eyes with shock. As he walked away she made to grab his arm but missed.

"Think about that next time you consider Snivellus," said James with a sense of victory. Lily watched him go, every part of her was screaming for her to chase him but she didn't. She stayed completely still feeling weak at the knees and empty in her heart. Severus could never do what James just did to her. He could never make her feel like she was reliving their first kiss all over again. Lily then realises that she would rather have these moments with James in the smallest doses for the time being rather than being with Severus all the time with the slight chance of having James again one day. Feeling like she deserved it, she walked slowly back to the castle alone in the cold rain. What had she been thinking?

* * *

><p>Severus waited down in one of the old forgotten classrooms located near the dungeons for the two fools he had summoned. He paced aimlessly around the classroom that was duly lit by a couple of candles. There were no windows down here and he liked that. In the middle of a thought the door opened and petty Peter Pettigrew walked in. The corner of Severus lips curved into a cruel smile.<p>

"So you decided to come along?" Severus said in a voice that reflected his aristocratic position. "Tell me, what are the infamous Potter, Black and Lupin doing on a day like today?"

Peter frowned, "I'm not sure where they are," he answered honestly.

It had been a mind war the complete journey down here, to come or not to come. His resolve had weakened as the school days went on. At first he had no interest in what Severus had to say but then the deaths noted in the Daily Prophet had become more frequent and the figures were usually quite high. Peter knew he was weaker than the others and the other night he had seriously thought about what would happen in a battle like situation if they had run into trouble. James would save Lily, no matter what side she was on. Sirius, well, who knew who Sirius would save but it wouldn't be him, Peter. It would probably be James, not that he would need it. Then Remus would fight to protect Georgia, Ben for Mary, and Evelyn and Noah for each other. No one would jump in front of a curse for him. So, with that in mind, he figured he needed to be in a position where he didn't need saving. Fool proof. If he was on Voldemort's side then no one would try to kill him. He would, in theory, be safe because no one fighting besides James would try to hurt him. Peter imagined this to be much like Lily's current position, on the more powerful side and with not a single enemy. Who would hurt Lily? No one, not James and not Severus.

"I must admit, I didn't think that you would show up," said Severus as he continued to wander around the room with crossed arms.

"I haven't said I would do anything yet. I'm just here to hear what you have to say." It was then that Betty walked in with an air of confidence.

She smiled at them both, feeling rather powerful with the knowledge that neither of them knew her greater plan, "Hello boys."

Severus' lips twitched, he hated Betty but she would prove useful. He made his way to stand in front of them before speaking and gave them a once over. "As I mentioned in my letter I suspect that Lily and James Potter are involved and as I'm sure you are both aware, this is not permissible. Simply put, Lily has been promised to me and we cannot have Potter use and embarrass her and her highly respected family. So, I ask you both, do either of you know anything of the matter?"

His gaze instantly went to Peter, the weakest link. Severus could tell he was thinking hard and finally he opened his mouth to speak, "Nothing."

Severus then turned to Betty who wore a smirk, "There may be… something but you're going to have to announce the reward before I announce my knowledge."

"That's the thing Braithwaite, I don't need knowledge, I need proof," Severus sneered.

"Shouldn't be too much of a problem," Betty replied with hesitation.

"If there is anything going on between them, which I'm sure there hasn't been since James found out about his dad, they wouldn't do anything in public." Peter stood tall trying to gain some importance.

"And that is where you start using your resources," said Severus as if Peter was a mere child.

Peter's mind instantly went to the map and it was almost as if Snape had read his mind because in that moment he nodded with a knowing smile. On top of the map there was the cloak and with James in the dormitory it wouldn't be an issue getting hold of the items. In fact, Peter had the map on him in that very moment. He had stolen Remus' idea of keeping the map on hand when doing something you didn't want the others knowing about.

"They – they're pretty protective of those resources," he said, feeling the map against his leg as it sat folded in his pocket.

"But you're a Marauder, _Wormtail_," Severus spoke condescendingly again. "I'm sure they won't mind or even notice that you borrowed what you helped create."

"Well, the cloak is James' and ever since last semester he's been very careful with it," Peter spoke to his feet. Betty watched on in deep curiosity. What were they talking about?

"If Potter is with Lily then the blasted cloak would the very last thing on his mind!" Severus grew irritated at the simple thought of James touching Lily. "I don't care if you use a cloak, a map or a bloody camera, Pettigrew, get some proof! If Betty can do it without these things so can you, surely."

Betty narrowed her eyes at the comparison to Peter, "Is there anything else?" she said with a huff. Her time here was up, now she had to start making plans and every single one would start with Georgia. She was her direct gateway to the Marauders and although Betty knew it would take time, she would break through soon enough. She just had to catch Georgia at a particular time to make it all work.

"No, there's nothing else. Are you in?"

Betty shrugged carelessly, "I suppose."

Severus turned to Peter with a glare, "I'll think about it," said Peter and Severus knew he would. All it would take was for Potter to say or do something against Pettigrew and then his anger and ego would lead the way.

"Fine, we're finished then," Severus led the way out and all three went in their separate directions with no intentions of repeating what they had just done. Severus would go off and send an owl to his parents explaining how fine everything was. He couldn't let them know what was really happening. Peter would go and find his friends and pretend that nothing had just happened. While Betty would find Georgia and start her first plan.

...

A quilt of paper covered Georgia's bed in the Ravenclaw girl's dormitory. To any other it would have appeared like a disastrous mess but really it was all perfectly organised. To Georgia there was a quarter for every part of Transfiguration while the hefty textbook sat open on her crossed legs. One, rather annoying, strand of hair kept falling into her face as it was not long enough to be tied up in her high bun and she subconsciously tucked it behind her ear. Smiling to herself at the completion of her essay's introduction she was pulled out of her little bubble.

"G," she looked up to see Betty leaning against her bed post seeming apologetic.

"What?" Georgia answered indifferently.

"How are you?" Betty said sincerely with slightly concerned eyes.

Georgia shrugged carelessly, "I'm perfectly fine, well I was until you bothered me. What do you want?"

"I just want to talk," Betty answered and Georgia's eyebrows aimed for her hairline.

"Talk? Feeling lonely are you? Realised that you actually had no friends besides me did you?"

"And what friends did you have besides me?" It didn't take long for Betty to become offensive.

"I had plenty," Georgia smirked.

"Not including all those boys," Betty managed to mention and Georgia sighed with frustration. "They were the only ones to show interest in you after all."

"You can go now," Georgia turned the page in her book and pretended to read.

"No, no, I'm sorry," Betty turned back into her pathetic self.

"For Merlins sake, Betty, just…" Georgia tensed her hands in frustration. "You told everyone I was bloody pregnant! Because what – you heard me vomit twice?"

"I know why you were really vomiting, nerves," Betty once again tried to act sympathetic. "I know you're scared and I want to –"

"Oh my _God_, just SHUT UP!" Georgia went livid yet felt immense satisfaction in Betty's frightened expression. "_You_ are not allowed to comment on that. _You_ are not allowed to judge me and please, don't even pretend to be sympathetic."

"I'm not judging you or pretending," Betty scrunched up her features and Georgia came to realise just how unfortunate looking the girl was. "I think it's really great you have Remus, I'd love to meet him properly with you."

Georgia had to put down her quill before she snapped it, "Remus? You are not to go near him." She sent Betty a dangerous glare but the girl didn't get it.

"I can talk to Remus if I want."

"True, but he doesn't want to talk to you so save yourself the embarrassment."

"G, I'm trying, I want to be friends again, I want to know about you and Remus and all your new friends like Lily and James. All you amazing couples, I feel I'm missing out by not knowing about these relationships," said Betty with a strange urgency.

"I don't want to be friends with you nor does Remus," Georgia said in her normal voice. She still felt rage within her but she was never one to continue shouting for too long.

"What about Lily and James?"

"What about them? They're the Head Students I doubt they have any time for you."

"Do you see much of them?" Betty pushed.

"No and please go and gossip with someone else because I'm not interested in the slightest," said Georgia and she dropped her head to start reading again. She listened to Betty leave and shut the door behind her. With a deep sigh Georgia shut her eyes and leaned against the headboard. She didn't like Betty knowing, she did not like it at all. Attempting to get a grip she returned to her book but only read the same sentence about ten times. The familiar pressure built up in her knees and the frustration at unable to do something she wanted overwhelmed her. Again, she tried to focus but she couldn't. Every time she just thought about Betty and the words hazed together. How would she pass like this? Betty had just ruined everything. She would never understand this now and the whole night had gone to waste which now meant she was a night behind.

Her lungs tightened and she tensed her muscles with the frustration growing at the overwhelming pace. She shouldn't get this worked up about it but she was. She was horrible at Transfiguration and now… now she wouldn't pass. Needing to let out the energy she threw her book at the stone wall and kicked all the paper off her bed. Then she regretted it. Unable to win she wiped away a stray tear and picked up the book and placed it gently on her bed. Georgia then gave up, slipped on her dark blue hoodie and rushed out of the room and through the dormitory avoiding all eye contact.

Alone, she slowly made her way out of the corridor that led to the Ravenclaw common room. With no real destination she wandered about the castle aimlessly but kept to the lit corridors of portraits. There were only a few stray students about, mainly couples but it felt good just to get out of that room and away from Betty. She wasn't surprised though when Remus appeared at the end of one hallway. Georgia tilted her head with a smile; she had almost expected this to happen. She knew there was a reason behind it but she didn't want to know it. This was a type of magic that she didn't want to learn about or understand she just appreciated it.

Remus reached her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "What are you doing out here alone?" He spoke incredibly softly as if he was afraid of being caught.

"Walking," Georgia answered, resting herself against him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she couldn't help but lie.

"Really?" Remus sounded unconvinced and Georgia breathed in deeply, completely aware that he would be able feel it so she decided not to answer. Remus pulled away from her and pushed that one strand of hair back in her now loose bun with a smile. He then pulled a spare bar of chocolate out of his pocket and held it out to Georgia.

"_Again_?" she asked in disbelief.

"Do you want it?"

"No! I'm going to get – it's too late for chocolate anyway!" Georgia crossed her arms as if to keep her hands away from the chocolate. Remus shrugged and began eating it himself with Georgia glaring.

"C'mon."

They walked along until they found a balcony that looked out onto the grounds. It wasn't raining for once and the moon was shining down on the lake. Georgia admired its beauty while trying not to give into the temptation to lean against the wet ledge.

"Hey?" She decided to start talking.

"Hey," Remus repeated.

"What would you do if someone… horrible, knew something about you that you wished they didn't?" she said it all very slowly avoiding Remus' eye contact the whole time. He held a strange expression at first but then wiped it away.

"Who knows?"

"Betty."

Remus was quiet for some time, putting words together, "And now it's always on your mind?"

"Well I only just found out but I'm sure it won't be too much of a hindrance," Georgia tried to shrug it off.

"I kind of feel you're getting better though," Remus thought aloud while looking up at the stars.

Georgia suddenly felt immense guilt. She hadn't done anything wrong but Remus believed she was getting somewhat better which wasn't true. "I'm still on –"

"Everyone is on something, whether it be medical or not. Everyone has something they need to get through."

"Why do you always make these philosophical statements, where do they come from?" Georgia shook her head lightly.

"Sirius, believe it or not," said Remus light-heartedly.

"I choose not," Georgia almost laughed and Remus shrugged unoffended.

"Time to go back?" She followed him back to where they came from, bumping into his side every few steps. "Don't worry too much about Betty. She won't say anything if she knows what's good for her."

They came to somewhere near the Ravenclaw common room and paused to a halt. "Do you know where you are?"

"Exactly," Remus assured her, feeling a sense of pride in her amazement.

"Well, then, I best be off." She slowly wrapped her arms around him. "This was nice."

"Don't make a habit of it, I might not show up next time," Remus pretended to make a threat.

"I'll try not to," Georgia smiled and tilted her face upwards to kiss him. It was short and simple but just what she needed, "Goodnight, Remus."

"Night, Georgia," Remus gave her one last quick kiss then pushed his hands into his pockets and walked away.

Georgia herself also walked away from their post. She wasn't surprised to see that her papers had been piled neatly and placed on her Transfiguration text book. She knew it was Betty making another attempt at friendship and begrudgingly Georgia was thankful. Quietly she put the pile on the floor, changed and climbed into bed. Her eyes became heavy as soon as her head touched the pillow but she tried to lie awake for a little longer. Her mind tired over thinking about Betty and Remus and somewhere in between she fell asleep with her last thought forgotten.

* * *

><p>"Well, that's a real piece of bad luck right there," Evelyn said while watching the heavens open up for the sixth day in a row.<p>

"What do you suppose we do now? I mean, I guess we should have planned for this," Noah fiddled with the hem on one of his sleeves, bitterly disappointed that it had rained for the Hogsmeade trip.

Evelyn placed her hands on her hips, "We should have."

"I have an idea," a newfound sparkle lit up in Noah's eyes and Evelyn couldn't help but be affected by it.

"Okay, what is it?" she asked with a smile creeping onto her face.

"Follow me," Noah didn't have the courage to grab her hand so he simply led the way. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of this before. All week he had been going in and out of Evelyn's comfort zones so now it was time for him to be comfortable and confident.

"Are we going to the kitchens?" Evelyn started to recognise her surroundings and the amount of Hufflepuffs around them gave the unannounced location away.

"Yes we are," Noah opened the door to where the house elves were busy preparing lunch. They all smiled and greeted Noah as a friend and he introduced Evelyn. "I'm going to cook something for us."

"You're what?" Evelyn sat on a high stool and watched on in amazement as Noah started pulling out bowls and ingredients.

"I'm going to cook."

"The Muggle way?" Evelyn was still a little lost.

Noah bowed his head with a grin, "The Muggle way."

Evelyn covered her eyes for a moment in disbelief, "Alright," she agreed. She couldn't remember the last meal she had that was prepared in a Muggle fashion. "What are you going to make?"

"What do you like?"

Evelyn shrugged, "Anything besides seafood and mushrooms."

"Fair enough, I'm going to cook you a surprise then," he looked at her over his shoulder with a confident smile then turned back to his bench space.

Evelyn studied the kitchens from her stool while tapping absentmindedly on the high wooden table. In was an interesting contrast seeing the house elves prepare food for hundreds magically while Noah prepared food for two naturally. She had to admit, this was a bit of a treat. No one had cooked specifically for her before. In fact, she couldn't even imagine any of her past boyfriends cooking at all. They all had house elves for such chores.

"So where did you learn how to cook, Chef Burke?"

Noah quickly finished doing something then walked over to her and leaned on the bench. "I used to cook with my mother all the time and I still do when I go home for holidays."

"She's Muggle-born or?"

"No, just a Muggle, my father's a wizard but we do a lot of things the Muggle way at home. It was just the way mum was raised I suppose. Dad does all the cleaning magically though, mum definitely takes advantage of that," said Noah with a reminiscent smile.

"I think any woman in the world would take advantage of that." She couldn't help but recognise this new confidence in Noah now that they were alone and he was in his element. Something started boiling over and hissing, demanding Noah's attention.

"It's almost ready," he called out over the hissing and Evelyn smiled almost nervously. He looked so cute over there with his brown hair a little frazzled, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows and – Merlin behold – his shirt untucked.

A few more minutes passed and Noah returned to her carrying two large bowls. Evelyn removed her elbows from the table so he could place down the bowl in front of her. She stared at it and laughed, casting her gaze back to Noah, who now sat across from her, she shook her head.

"This is Spaghetti Bolognese, Noah!" She pointed at the plate with an uncontrollable smile then began to tie her hair back with the headband she had on her wrist.

"I never said I had a Michelin Star or that I was even a good cook," Noah reasoned, passing a fork over to Evelyn.

"A what star? You know never mind, I just… Merlin, Noah," she tapped her head with a sigh and grabbed her fork.

"I can assure you though that it will be the best Spaghetti Bolognese you've ever had."

"It would bloody well want to be," Evelyn stabbed the food with her fork and twisted it. It was funny, that's all this was, just plain funny. She didn't know what she was expecting but it wasn't this. But perhaps this was better.

"Look at you," Noah gestured towards her. "You can't even eat it without making a mess. What if I had made something really complicated? You wouldn't know how to eat it!"

Evelyn conjured a napkin and wiped around her lips, "You could have made something that was easier to eat."

"What's the fun in that?" Noah ate his meal with perfection, not a splash of sauce went anywhere, unlike Evelyn.

It was, as he had said, the best Spaghetti Bolognese she had ever had. Maybe because it was cooked the Muggle way or maybe it was just the Burke way of cooking it but there was something different. Noah finished before Evelyn, like all boys do on dates, and waited patiently for her.

"Do you come down here often?" Evelyn asked between mouthfuls.

"I used to. It was always a bit of an escape. The Ravenclaw common room isn't really my favourite place and the dormitories are deathly boring. So I used to come here for something to do. It's nice to have someone to share my cooking with though. Cooking for two is better than cooking for one."

Evelyn felt a blush creep upon her cheeks, "We should come here again then."

"Can you cook?"

"Do you like toast?"

Noah laughed, "Maybe I should stay the cook."

"I think that would be wise," Evelyn agreed and finished her meal. They didn't leave the kitchens straight away. Instead, they stayed and talked about an array of things. What it was like growing up with one Muggle parent then what it was like growing up in a complete wizarding household. Evelyn had the impression that Noah had a lifetime of stories to tell. Stories that had never been told before because no one wanted to hear them but here they were now coming out and being shared and being heard.

It was the most unusual but the best date she had ever had and for the first time in Evelyn's life, she was glad it had rained.

...

"Lily," Clarissa strode up to her and linked arms for a second before Lily pulled away. Clarissa shrugged, "Severus was telling me stories about you two last night."

"Did he now? What did he say?" Lily asked uninterested. She knew she didn't possess enough luck to walk down to the Potions classrooms without running into at least one Slytherin.

"Oh, just things about running around in the forest next to your house and how you used to use sticks as wands and wear your parents' witches hats. It all sounded so cute," Clarissa said warmly. "I think it's such a shame that you two grew up together and now you've fallen apart. What happened to the Lily that revelled in all her family's fortune?"

"She grew up," said Lily with a sniff, wishing Clarissa would leave now instead of following her.

"Some of us still remember her, you know. We all wished you were in Slytherin, where you belonged."

"Clarissa, seriously, what is the point of this discussion?"

"Did you ever just think you were supposed to be with him?"

"No," Lily almost answered before Clarissa had even shut her mouth. The Slytherin got the point though and with pursed lips she let Lily go.

She blew the deep red hair out of her face but ended up coughing as her arm grew tired of stirring the potion in her small cauldron. It wasn't where she had planned on spending her Saturday but it was better than some other things she supposed. Then again, maybe not, she was practicing Potions alone for the NEWTS for Merlin's sake. On top of that she had developed a cold from walking in the rain yesterday and while she knew it was her own fault she couldn't help but blame Potter. Her finger ran down the recipe and she sighed with regret. Why did she have to choose this one?

The heavy wooden door opened and she looked up, annoyed that someone had ruined her peace.

"I'll burn that map," she declared, gazing back down into the cauldron, thankful it wasn't Clarissa.

"James won't love you anymore," Sirius warned as he sat down a few seats away from her.

"Then maybe I could curse it so a little sign came up on people when they do not want to be disturbed." Lily noticed her voice getting worse with every sentence.

"Are you sick?"

"No," said Lily bluntly, stirring the potion again.

"Could've fooled me," Sirius shrugged. "Anyway, I see you down here just begging for company."

"If I wanted company I would have just asked one of the girls."

"Really? Because it seems they're both busy with their own lives right now."

"And so I get stuck with you. Where's James?" Lily finally finished stirring and now it was time to wait. At the mention of James her body developed the strongest craving to be just lying in a warm bed with him, preferably without a cold, on this horrible day.

"Don't know," Sirius examined the engravings on the wooden desk.

"Sirius, if you know I'm in here then you know where James is," Lily reasoned.

"Alright, maybe I do know where he is," Sirius gazed lazily around the room before he rested on Lily. "But I also know he doesn't want to be disturbed."

"Neither do I," Lily raised her voice only for it to break. "Why do you leave him alone but not me?"

"I never said he was alone," he waited for Lily to react but she didn't. "He told me about yesterday afternoon. I thought you said you wouldn't tell him?" Sirius seemed to be ignoring Lily's illness by talking about the one thing she wanted to avoid right now.

Lily blew her nose, "I couldn't get Dumbledore's suggestion out of my mind and every time I saw Severus I just thought of it. I'm sorry, I regret it and I won't do it again, okay?" Lily put her hands up in defence.

"Why would you even bother?"

"Because Sirius!" Lily coughed painfully from raising her voice, "because I just want to be able to be with James properly."

"You went into it knowing that you couldn't. James is fully aware of it," Sirius continued on.

"Is he really? Because I don't think he is aware of it. I think James wishes for it as much as I do. Look, we have patrol tonight and everything will be fine after that."

"After you both have sex and forget about the reality of the situation?"

"There's no way I'm having sex with _this_," Lily pointed to her red nose. "What's wrong with you anyway?"

Sirius went quiet for a moment then sighed deeply, "I got a letter from home," he said in a barely audible voice.

"Oh," Lily fell silent as well.

"It was just the same as usual but I guess I grew a bit annoyed at seeing you seesaw through this whole thing. You sit on that fence like there's no tomorrow, going from one side to the other and I just wish you would pick one and stay there and accept the consequences that came with it."

"Sirius, I –"

"Don't say you've chosen because even if you've asked join the Order, you're still contemplating Snape and you know that once you go there you're never getting James back. I just find amazing that after all Snape did that you still consider him and don't say it was to be temporary because I found that as pathetic as James did. This is hard for James too. You're not the only one in the relationship."

Lily hated what she was feeling, "I'm just trying, Sirius." The sound of complete defeat leaked into her words against her own will but she was satisfied that it made Sirius' features relax.

"I know you are," he said softly. "But please just pick a side and forget about the other one. It's too hard to try and hold onto both."

Lily, who hadn't realised she was standing, slumped back down in her chair with a sniff. She stared into her lap for some time until she faced Sirius who was in his own world. "I'm scared."

...

They lied down on his bed listening to the rain hit the glass of the windows. They lied together completely still, feeling the rise and fall of each other's chests. They lied in serenity. Mary's eyes grew heavy and the clock ticked the slow seconds away. She moved her gaze around the room, observing the boys' belongings. Pausing for a moment on James' bed she thought about him and Lily and honestly wondered if they had ever been on it together. She guessed they hadn't. Mary knew Lily's dream but more importantly she knew Lily's little desires. She knew that Lily dreamt about coming home to James. She knew Lily imagined being asleep and James crawling into bed after a long night. She knew this was what Lily thought about when she laid in bed at night. Without James beside her. Mary nuzzled Ben's neck, waking him out of his light sleep.

"Hmm?" Ben groaned while slowly moving onto his side to rest his head on Mary's shoulder.

"I love you, darling," Mary whispered.

"Love you too," Ben said as an automatic response though he did mean it.

"Where are we going to sleep after Hogwarts?" Mary asked even though Ben had shut his eyes again.

"At the Manor, of course," Ben answered lazily.

"You will be a Lord this year," she continued the small talk.

Ben squeezed her, "Will you be my Lady?" Mary turned her head to see that his eyes were still shut but when she didn't answer he opened one with a cheeky smile. "What?"

"Your Lady?" She repeated.

"Yeah, there needs to be a new Lady Wood if there's going to be a new Lord Wood. Don't you agree?" With one swift movement Ben rolled onto his back again and pulled Mary on top of him.

Mary squealed a little at the sudden move. "You're not really… are you?" she was unsure but a giddy smile was spreading on her lips anyway.

"I'll do a better one later but that's my plan," said Ben with a sparkle in his blue eyes.

"I… okay – later," Mary nodded feeling slightly numb.

"Later," Ben confirmed. He placed his hands gently on her cheeks and drew her face down to his. It was the best kiss they had had in a while. It was sincere and meaningful, unlike the everyday kisses one gets used to in a long term relationship. Unable to stop herself Mary laughed a little into the kiss.

"My little lady," Ben whispered and Mary pushed herself against him. The rain grew heavier as they went on until a deafening scream broke them apart. They both sat up abruptly staring at the door to the dormitory.

"What was that?" Mary asked with fear in her eyes. Ben already had his wand in hand and began walking towards the door.

"Stay here." Mary waited on the bed while Ben went out to the common room. Only a minute later he ran back into the room, "We have to go to the Hall." He rushed and grabbed her hand pulling her off the bed and out of the room.

...

Passing an aisle, something or rather someone caught James' eye. He was sure it was her staring out the window at the rain but he couldn't be too sure. Her black hair almost dared to touch the table she sat on leaning back on her hands. As he slowly walked up the aisle he thought about Remus and her. James wished it was easier for his friend, something so preventable angered him at times but he never let Remus see that. He didn't need to see James' pity. Quietly, he reached her and stood next to the table she sat on staring out the window.

Out the corner of his eye he could see her turn her head to face him. It wasn't long until she turned to face the rain again with a heavy sigh. James watched the droplets on the window turn into streams, all interconnecting at some point or another then picking up speed until they hit the ledge. There was something about this silence. It was nice and he felt like he was stealing it from Georgia. Like this was something she kept to herself, something that only she had and that he lacked. He certainly hadn't experienced this silence for a long time. And it wasn't even completely silent. There was always the patter of the relentless rain but that was outside. The rain was like him, constantly moving and sometimes, he thought, too much and it deafened him like heavy rain. Georgia, however, was like this silence. She was the dry indoors, the calm inside. And even though James knew she wasn't calm all the time she was surely exuding it now.

"James," her voice croaked a little making it clear she hadn't talked for a while. He could see her looking up at him again.

"Don't," he shook his head while she nodded and turned her head back.

Georgia obliged and was quiet for about another five minutes. He guessed it was her feminine side that was forcing her to talk. There was always this thing about girls, they could never remain silent for too long. Although, Georgia had gone particularly well at it.

"You can sit down," she didn't face him this time but he faced her, taking in her delicate profile. Georgia moved over slightly and James sat down on the table with his elbow digging into his knee while his hand held his head up.

"It's getting harder," was all he said.

Georgia smirked, "Tell me about it."

He was thankful she didn't do some patronizing 'life is never hard for James Potter' thing. Then again, that was never her. He realised, for the first time, that he finally saw what Remus saw when it came to Georgia. Sure he saw her beauty, everyone saw that but she had so much more. Behind the Ravenclaw blue eyes there was a very mature yet very young girl.

"I don't think it's going to easier," said James after a short time.

"Neither," Georgia furrowed her brow in thought.

They were silent again, deep in their own thoughts. Every now and then Georgia glanced sidewards at the Gryffindor. He sat incredibly still and she sometimes amused herself with the thought of him just jumping up suddenly and scaring her. She let her mind drift back to September when they had all just returned to school. Vaguely, she remembered seeing Sirius and James out on the grounds with their white sleeves rolled up and messy hair flicking in the light breeze. She only remembered this because at the time she was shot with jealously. While her life was seemingly falling apart they remained cool and calm. Now it seemed that they were on the same level. The scales had been evened out.

"I love her too much." James' voice broke the still air around them and Georgia was awoken from her thoughts. Again, he didn't face her; perhaps it was too much of a personal thing. There were always those words that were so private that you could not tell them to another person while facing them. Words that you had to say aloud and that someone else had to hear but it was better to pretend they weren't there.

Georgia nodded slowly. She could only guess who the _her_ was but she felt she had a good idea. "Can you really love someone too much?"

"I think so," said James confidently. "I know so because if I loved her less maybe things would be easier. Maybe I would have been able to resist."

"Really?" Georgia now also rested her head in one hand as her wrists grew sore. James never answered her, "I stress too much."

"Her Patronus is a doe."

"He thinks I'm getting healthier."

"We'll never be together."

"I'll never get off this medication."

"You will."

"Then so will you."

Finally, James faced her with a small smile, "The rain has stopped."

"So it has," Georgia noted, tilting her head in her palm. She cast her eyes in James' direction to find him staring at her strangely. With her free hand she gave him a light shove with a smirk. Taking her time she uncrossed her legs and point her feet out stretching. James watched as she stood up and adjusted her skirt and glanced at him every few seconds.

"You really are something James Potter," she said finally and left without waiting to hear a reply. It was only then that he realised that Georgia had no books. For some reason in his head he thought that she had been studying in here but it seemed that was not the case. Remus had done something to her.

A string of shouting and clutter cut the new silence like a knife. Then a high pitched cry filled the library. James looked over his shoulder to see that Georgia had turned back to him, her face a little paler than before.

Then the rain started again, heavier than it ever had been.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading!<p>

As always.


	16. Queen of Hearts

_Sorry_

* * *

><p>She woke up with her deep red hair strewn over her face. The previous night's events hadn't instantly jumped into her mind as she rolled over, clutching the doona in her hand.<p>

"Soon that mark will fly over this castle and all you Mudbloods will get what you deserve!" It was Avery voicing his genuine beliefs as he stood at the top of the staircase in the Entrance Hall. His expression was smug and affected her in ways she could not describe. She could feel Sirius fuming next to her, not taking an eye off the Slytherin as he slowly made his way down the stairs. Terrified students parted for him like a ruler and when he turned Lily knew she had been spotted. With a quick glance in Sirius' direction she held her head high and walked to where Avery had been.

"Lily! Lady Lily Evans," he held out a hand, "come and celebrate with me that this war has finally begun." For some reason Avery bowed and Lily pulled out her wand with a smile. Once straight the boy went on as Lily slowly descended to half way, "The sooner the rot is killed the sooner we will regain our highest positions."

The students on the sides watched their Head Girl with anticipation, "Highest positions?" Lily said slowly. "The highest positions aren't yours to hold… or mine." James and his family ran through her mind like a montage. The framed photo of his family at Avebury that once sat on his bedside table. Lady Potter at Christmas and James in his own home, his own element. The sash of the deepest red.

Confusion swept over the Slytherins face for the slightest moment before he regained his composure. "Don't be frightened of it, perhaps you could even save your mudblood friends."

She wasn't going to fall for it this time. A red light hit Avery in the chest causing him to back towards the doors to the castle. He wasted no time in recovering though and within in a very short time he was standing again.

"I knew it," anger was so very evident that it made the students nearby back further into the walls. "I knew all this time that you were one of them. That you were – _are_ a _traitor_!"

"Then what are you waiting for?" Lily held her arms out allowing her heart to be the target.

Avery shrugged casually then twisted his mouth and pointed his wand directly at Lily who protected herself with ease. The Slytherin raised his wand again but this time instead of hitting Lily he successfully hit a first year Muggle born student.

Then, he ran.

Lily could hear his laughter as she chased him down the mud covered slope of the grounds towards Hogsmeade. The Dark Mark had disappeared in the time that they were inside and now it was just the growing darkness and the rain. Avery would turn around every so often to throw a spell at her but she dodged every one. The cold air stung her lungs and her coughs made it hard to breathe but something crossed between fury and adrenaline kept her running. They were almost at the gate and Lily could see a group of people standing near the lamp.

She raised her wand, wanting to get Avery before they reached the group but her hands met the mud with force causing her wrists to crack with pain. Someone shouted at her before another cast a spell that lit up the area surrounding them. The newcomer turned his back on the fallen Slytherin and looked straight over Lily.

"Does anybody else feel like demonstrating their beliefs?" James shouted.

Lily twisted around to see a number of students with noble blood scattered on the hill. Not a word was spoken as the rain lightened to a drizzle and James lowered his wand. Remus appeared behind James and helped Lily up with a small apology for pushing her down and shouting at her but she didn't know where to look. The students that supported Voldemort retreated back to the castle while the others stood and made their minds up about Lily.

"Everybody to the Transfiguration Classroom _now_," Dumbledore's voice came over louder than James' as he emerged from the group near the lamp.

Remus gave Lily a slight push and she walked past the judging students. The last she knew to be Ingrid Vance. The proud Hufflepuff stood tall and Lily couldn't help but pause by her. Ingrid had power, if that's what one cared about. When it came down to the pecking order of the noble families Ingrid's family was right up there beside the Potter's. Ingrid gave a small smile with the same soft eyes Lady Potter had used. Lily nodded more to herself and continued on with Remus by her side, she had no intentions on looking back.

She didn't hear what they were told. She had fallen asleep with her head down on the desk. She had been so sick and exhausted that she couldn't even stay awake to hear it, to hear anything. And she had been so tired that she didn't even know that he had sat next to her the whole time.

...

James Potter opened his eyes with a start. Breathing in deeply he pushed his hair back squeezing his eyes shut again. Feeling uneasy he sat up but that only made things worse so, defeated, he let himself fall back down again. It was the pressure. The pressure he had always had set upon him was now building and affecting his subconscious. He believed he was living up to the expectations. Yesterday's act was surely enough to make them happy but did it make him happy? James wasn't so sure. Ignoring the signs telling him to stay lying for a few more minutes, he rolled out of bed to change and get ready for the day. He had caught Sirius' eye as he walked across the room and they exchanged a silent glance but said nothing. James didn't want to talk so before anything could be said he grabbed his broom which sat in his corner of the dorm and headed out.

Squinting, he stepped out into the bright sun. The area where everything had happened last night caught his attention. It was strange how different everything looked in the daylight. He ran a hand through his hair at the thought of Lily. He knew where she would be today and he planned to get there eventually but first he needed to get away from that and everything else.

...

"In addition to the murder in Hogsmeade, there has been an immense Muggle killing. A small but significant number of students have lost a member of their family," McGonagall told them in a foreign tone.

The adrenaline was pounding in her and she felt sick as McGonagall continued to speak. She also felt the intense desire to run until she couldn't anymore but she was here and this was where she had to stay. Mary wished that her hands would stop shaking and that the pounding in her ears would cease and where the hell was Ben? They were in the hall together and then she lost him in the crowd. Where anyone was would be even a better question. Evelyn and Lily had to be somewhere in this hall but right now she, Mary, was surrounded by students she didn't know.

The sun hit her eyes, punishing her for forgetting to shut her curtains. Her ugly red curtains. Everything in the room was silent and Mary guessed that no one else was awake yet or if they were, they were pretending not to be. Her stomach coiled as she brought her knees to meet her chest. She had no idea if she had a family today. She could have woken up as an orphan and not know it. All she knew was that she had only managed about an hours sleep and now it was time to go to this meeting McGonagall had arranged for all the Gryffindors born to Muggle parents.

She wanted to be sick.

...

"You can quit with that look," he looked down at her with an ill attempt of disgust.

She scoffed lightly with her head held high as if she were a Queen in her own court, "What look, Black? The look that your family deserves or the look that _you_ deserve?"

"With you they're obviously the same thing."

"Perhaps," Ingrid tilted her head ever so slightly to the left then back up straight again. "It was your family, _your_ father, supported by your mother."

"You're a bitch, you know, maybe you should join them. You love everything about your nobility, your pure blood, your wealth. You should be fighting for it just like they do." Sirius tried to contain himself but, God, this girl was doing everything against him. Purposefully.

"Sirius," Ingrid stopped walking and leaned into one hip with her arms crossed, "we all love it."

"No we don't, _I_ don't," Sirius stopped to face her.

"Of course you do, if you didn't you would have truly left instead of just changing sides. This way you've still got all the perks. You could have always just thrown it all away, as in, every single last bit. What would Sirius Black do without all that stature? How would you breathe without the air of aristocracy surrounding you?" Ingrid feigned concern and pity.

"What would you do without it all?" Sirius asked not knowing what else to say. He was pleased with Ingrid's silence; surely this meant he had trumped her. Then, after probably what was only seconds, he began to realise that she was trying to word something she didn't want to say. There was clear hesitation.

"Well, what's your answer?"

"My answer is that I would simply live my life however it came. People with nothing seem to do it alright so why couldn't I?"

"Because you couldn't breathe without the air of aristocracy surrounding you," Sirius stole her words with ease.

"Oh but I would learn. The same way those Muggles will learn to live without their loved ones." And they were back to this.

The conversation replayed in his head continuously. Even James' startling wake up couldn't interrupt this conversation, though his sharp intake of breath had caused Sirius to flinch. He was glad James left silently. Sirius had no intention to talk about last night or the future. Instead, he just wanted to _think_ about last night. He and Ingrid had somehow ended up walking together after all the noble's had been gathered and after McGonagall and Dumbledore had spoken incredibly sternly to them. He had noticed her walking in, as if she held a higher power than all the others. Like a Duchess walking among her suitors and ladies in waiting. She was so full of herself which was something he already knew from Christmas. Maybe it was something with that family circle because, really, Ingrid was like an early sixth year James Potter.

They had walked aimlessly through corridors and cloisters and though it felt like an age it was probably only ten minutes at most. Enough time for her to accuse him in her naïve way and enough time for him to regain his position of being the older and the wiser one. There was definitely a power play happening, and although it drove him mad at the time and if Ingrid had been a boy he would have cursed her, he did enjoy it.

...

He had called her a bitch… she rolled over with a stretch and the wild flowers in the glass jar became her new focus. They were stolen from the Hufflepuff common room and now a small amount of mould gathered where the stems met the water. Wild flowers in winter, only Hufflepuffs would bother but they did grow well inside with a bit of magical assistance. One day when the Manor will be hers she will rebuild the gardens. The ones her mother didn't care about. She will plant wild flowers down by the pond and everything. How ridiculous, Ingrid refrained from tapping herself on the forehead and pushed the blankets off her. She needed to see James Potter and they needed to talk.

Betty Braithwaite gazed around the half empty hall to see a lonely Hufflepuff that was never usually alone at all. Her hair had that usual just out of bed style which always worked in her favour and her cape draped from her shoulders and over the edge of the bench. She moved over to the table and Ingrid's eyes narrowed at her presence. They had never been on good terms; hatred was borne out of Betty's jealousy for Ingrid's position.

"Last night was interesting," Betty started.

Ingrid granted the Ravenclaw a lazy side glance before returning back to her hot chocolate. She kept her hands around the mug for warmth and blew lightly onto the brown liquid.

"Interesting in what way? I think it's horrific rather than interesting," Ingrid didn't look at Betty again.

"Well it depends what part you're talking about, doesn't it. Everyone knows how you feel about him."

"Who are you talking about?" Ingrid asked bluntly.

"Potter."

Ingrid's expression changed from blasé to hatred in a second.

"My feelings towards him?"

"It's always been there hasn't it? You know you would both make the perfect couple, even Witch Weekly has written a sentence or two about it."

Ingrid scoffed and crossed her arms.

"You would," Betty insisted, "both your families are on the same side, your parents get along. I saw you standing at the top of the hill watching him as he took charge of the whole scene."

"You have no idea, Braithwaite. And if you keep talking the way you are I'm going to have to believe that you really are the fool I've always thought you were."

"Evans is threatening your position."

Ingrid choked on her chocolate and wiped her lips with a napkin. "Lily… no, you are so confused at how everything works."

"I bet you could never get him away from Lily."

Betty revelled in Ingrid's expression. Her peaceful perfectness had disappeared and her head was bowed. Betty had thought more than once that Ingrid was sorted into the wrong house. She should have been a Gryffindor, what, with her passion and willingness to take up a dare.

"I suggest you don't meddle with James," Ingrid stared boldly into Betty's eyes, "or me. We will destroy you and all your chances of reaching your dreams, whatever they may be." Ingrid pushed herself up and bent over to whisper past Betty's black hair and into her ear. "Quit whatever game you're playing and stay away from whomever you're playing it with."

"I'm not scared of a little 6th year," Betty sneered but Ingrid laughed dangerously. "And I'm not the one whose position of being highest ranked upcoming Lady is being threatened by someone from the other side. I can help you keep it, keep everything you have."

"Grow up."

...

She had read the same sentence a thousand times trying to get the previous night's events out her mind, the horrific news, the strange conversation with James and everything in between. It had all been so unexpected and she didn't know if she could handle this becoming a common occurrence. What if every week there was something like this? What if they all ended up living on the edge just waiting for these events? It was like knowing that you're about to be pounced upon but you're just not sure exactly when. Again, she turned to the text book…

Within seconds they had gone from the library out into the corridors. The emerald Dark Mark they had only heard rumours about was displayed high above Hogsmeade and Georgia felt her heart clench at the sight. There was no time to stop and gaze though; she didn't want to become lost in the throng of students so she continued to run to keep up with James. Determination was evident in his expression and Georgia knew who he was looking for as he pushed past students. They came closer to the Hall which was also where the crowds grew thicker and keeping up with James became more difficult. He weaved through everyone effortlessly while Georgia now lagged behind apologising to every student she accidently hit.

On top of the Entrance Hall staircase they ran into Ben and Evelyn then Peter.

"Lily's outside," Peter informed them in a strange voice that put Georgia out. She watched James' eyes turn from confusion to worry as he heard about the 'girl he loved too much' and the girl they had been running to find the whole time.

He was gone then. Ben was next to go with Evelyn close by. It was just Georgia and Peter left. Her inner Ravenclaw was telling her to just do the most sensible thing and enter the Hall. Once inside Peter's presence annoyed her. He had followed her in and now stood too close.

"Were you and James together?" Peter asked as if it were something of a scandal.

Georgia breathed deeply to calm her frustration towards him, "We ran into each other in the library."

"James in the library?" Peter sounded sceptical. "Where is Remus?"

"I don't know." McGonagall's voice silenced the awkward conversation and her news hit them like a thousand curses.

She shut her book, it was no use, no studying would be done today.

...

It could work. It would work. She had already done some significant damage. Who was he fooling? It was more than significant. This might work. Lord Evans paced in front of the fireplace. With every new thought he turned on his heel, crossed four metres of carpet and then turned again. His mind jumped from all different ideas but one thing he was sure of. Lord Fawcett was correct, splitting Lily and Severus would be the best thing to do. Tearing his daughter out from Severus' grip would cause the anguish he so desired but there was the threat of her drifting towards Potter. Then again, she was already lost to that side. With his inability to focus, Lord Evans seized the parchment he had received earlier and stormed out of his office. He found his wife, handed her the letter and continued on with a slam of the bedroom door.

Lady Evans watched the closed door to see if her husband would reappear. When he didn't she read the letter standing and with one hand covering her mouth.

"Oh, Lily," was all she could manage as she fell into her chair beside the dresser. "Oh, darling, what have you done?"

Lord Evans did return and his wife looked towards him, "I'm pulling her out of it. They can have her but there will be conditions. I'm going to find Lord Fawcett."

* * *

><p>The dirty red Quaffle flew through the middle and tallest hoop with perfection. It fell then to cut through the mist that blanketed the dead grass below leaving a trail. All motivation was lost on James to fetch it. He straightened up at the sound of footsteps on wood. Not moving an inch he attempted to hear the faint footsteps but all he heard was the whipping sound of his wand flying out of his cloak and into the air. He watched it go to one of the Hufflepuff stands and he couldn't help but smile with relief.<p>

"The Queen of Hearts!" he greeted her and she curtseyed as to play the game.

"The one and only Lord Potter," she tapped his wand against her free open hand and waited for him to land next to her.

"That's my dad," James retrieved his wand and gave the Hufflepuff a warning look.

"That's _you_," Ingrid said pointedly. "Nevertheless, what are you doing out here?"

"Not being Lord Potter," said James as he leaned his broom against the rail of the stands and sat down.

"Aha," Ingrid joined him and watched as he avoided her eye contact. "And how is throwing Quaffles not being him? The Lord Potter I know loves Quidditch… and so did the old one."

James ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply, "Ingrid, what do you want? Surely you did not come out here to tell me who I am, or rather who I will be, because I get it from everybody else already. You're the one who said to be young for a few more months in the first place."

Ingrid stared at James' broom and let the silence fall on them. She wished that Edward, Lord Potter, was still alive because then James wouldn't be like this. Then again, she didn't even know what _this_ was but she was sure things would be different if he were here. She and James had lost touch somewhat when he started Hogwarts but after last year they had nothing.

"What's going on with Lily?" Ingrid brought her mind back to the reason she was there. Her voice was more demanding than she had intended and she paid for it with James' expression.

"It's the same as Christmas," he shrugged, not planning on saying anymore.

"It seems like more than Christmas now."

"It was more than Christmas before Christmas. See how much you don't know and see how useless it is to come in now?" James snapped. "You never cared before then. I rarely saw you and now you're everywhere."

"Everywhere?"

"Yes, everywhere and acting so grown up because there was a murder yesterday."

"Mass –"

"Whatever it was there'll be more and you shouldn't be aging with every one nor should you be taking responsibility of anyone or anything."

Ingrid's eyes widened as if he had slapped her. Colour rose in her cheeks and her hands balled into fists. "Aren't I allowed to know what is happening?"

"Not if it's not your business," James stated.

"It is my business and it's my business to take up the responsibility of knowing." Ingrid spoke through gritted teeth and was only satisfied and James finally looked at her.

"None of it is your responsibility yet."

"No but it's all about to be Lily Evans' isn't it?" Ingrid's heart stopped at the words that she had said. It was James' turn to appear slapped but there was no turning back now. "She wasn't raised like you and me, James." Ingrid stood up and adjusted her cloak quickly as she stepped over James' legs to get to the stairs.

"Are you jealous?" James rose to his feet now, too, and waited for Ingrid to turn with a furrowed brow.

"Jealous?" she smiled sadly, "How could anybody be jealous of what you two have? No, Potter," she recognised his flinch, "I'm not jealous, I'm just disappointed that I've lost a friend."

James watched her go and listened to her boots hit each wooden step until he couldn't take it anymore. He ran after her and caught up half way down. Once in reach he grabbed her wrist causing her to stop.

"Lily will never take your place," he squeezed her so she wouldn't speak, "she won't." Ingrid nodded, "Nothing has changed since Christmas; I still love her I still want her to be on our side. I still want her to live with me and spend summers at Avebury."

"I came here to tell you to be careful of that Braithwaite girl," Ingrid pulled her arm away and simply smiled up at James. "Every girl will be jealous but not me." Her lips broke into a bigger smile as she slowly walked backwards, "Lily would make a better Lady Potter for my dear Lord Potter anyway."

James rolled his eyes and broke into a run after Ingrid who ran away across the Quidditch Pitch. She was quite fast and her laughter was contagious. He stopped as she turned and held out her arms in defence, "don't hurt me," she said through short breaths and a grin.

"No… why would I ever do that?" James asked sarcastically.

"You want to! I know you do!" He moved quickly causing her to jump and run again. She turned to see James develop a cunning look on his face, "No! You can't do what you're thinking of doing."

"Which is?" He walked after her slowly.

"Becoming a stag," answered Ingrid in a quieter voice.

"Fine," James pulled out his wand instead and produced his Patronus.

Ingrid smirked, "Clever," she copied James and produced her own Patronus. The fox of silver smoke chased after the stag towards the other end of the pitch until they both disappeared. Ingrid watched it all and sensed James by her side once the magic was gone.

"Is Lily's…?"

"Yeah," James breathed and looked sidewards to see Ingrid become lost in her thoughts. Smiling to himself he moved swiftly again to grab her sides caused her to crouch over with a short scream.

"Get off or I'll say it again and I won't stop."

"Say what?" He already knew.

"Lord –"

"Don't," James immediately stepped back and gave her the now age old look with a pointed finger.

"Don't," Ingrid mimicked with a sour face then relaxed as he did, "love you, James."

"Love you too, painfully annoying Hufflepuff." He gave her a light playful shove then summoned his broom from the black and gold stand. "Let's go back."

Ingrid walked a step or two behind him deep in her thoughts. She had to admit since Christmas she had been excited by the idea of having James back in her life. It was like having an older brother return home from boarding school or an extended trip overseas. James was back and though she couldn't help him with Lily, she could help him with becoming the person he had become so disinterested in becoming. They had almost reached the castle when she decided to create small talk.

"Where's Lily now anyway?" Ingrid jogged a few paces to be beside James.

"She's sick," James answered simply.

"I gathered that from last night but will you go and see her?"

"Depends," James answered and Ingrid knew not to say more.

...

"I've been waiting," she pushed her red hair behind her ears and focused on him with a new intensity.

"I see you're better," he stated, ignoring her statement.

"Mmm, Pomfrey has some amazing things in her cabinet."

"Should have gone there earlier then, huh?" he raised his eyebrows before bowing his head with that smile. He cast his gaze upwards to see her through strands of black hair. She stood with her arms crossed and favoured one hip. There was a new element to her but he could also tell that she was afraid. Afraid of what the consequence would be from last night.

"What has taken you all morning?" she was never the type of girl to ask but she felt after last night he ought to keep up. Her nerves couldn't handle his prolonged absence. She needed him with her whenever he could be now.

He raised his head and kept the smile, "I was held up by somebody who has a bad habit of reminding me of things, so our conversation had to take awhile. Sorry."

"Sirius?" she asked in confusion from the front of the room.

"No," he laughed lightly as he walked between desks and chairs. After a short silence he gave in, "It was Ingrid."

"Vance?"

"Vance," he nodded and noticed her confusion didn't fade. "We were raised like siblings. Much like you and… well, anyway, it was like that but without the romance."

She rolled her eyes, "Go on."

"Ingrid just likes to remind me about becoming a Lord. She's into the whole aristocracy thing." He slowly made his way to the front of the room now.

"I know who Ingrid Vance is but I've never seen you two together at Hogwarts."

He shrugged off her words. "Do you like her?"

She thought back on the night before when she had stood in front of the Hufflepuff and had looked into those light blue eyes and considered the smile to be a form of welcoming.

"She likes you anyway," he shrugged.

"Does she? I feel so much better about myself, thank you."

"You should, she can cause grief," he passed the last row of wooden desks and stepped up to where she was standing still with crossed arms. "What's wrong with you this morning?" He looked at her once over before settling on her emerald eyes which, much to his disappointment, she shut.

"I don't know what happens next," she whispered. He searched her face and pushed a loose strand of hair that had escaped back behind her ear. "I feel like I'm living on the edge right now just waiting for someone to either push me over and all hell breaks loose or for someone to pull me back and things continue."

"Lily," he breathed.

"James?" she opened her eyes.

"You've been on that edge ever since November and you put yourself there."

"I would say I was coerced into some of it."

"I would say you coerced the coercer," James gave a tiny smirk and ran his hands down her arms causing them to break free from each other. His hands then found their resting spot on the small of her back and she leaned into them.

"We have to go now," Lily said regrettably.

James leaned forward so his forehead rest on hers, "We don't have to."

"Yes, we do. It's Dumbledore and it's time for my sentencing."

"Don't worry," he kissed her quickly.

Dumbledore was waiting for them with no hint of affection or kindness visible. His aging hands were resting on his desk as James and Lily entered. They were not offered seats but James half assumed that Dumbledore had come to accept that he never sat down while in this office.

"Potter," his voice was demanding, "may you allow Miss Evans and myself some privacy? This doesn't concern you and if it does then it shouldn't." James opened his mouth to protest but was cut off, "_Leave_."

Lily didn't face him as he left her. She heard the door close and waited.

"Lily," Dumbledore started softly but she knew better than to be fooled. "This was not the plan. I thought I had encouraged you to lay low and spend more time with Severus. Not publicly fight against a supposed ally and run to James."

"I couldn't stand by and do nothing while he cursed a first year."

"I know and I realise that everything has reached a peak." The professor paused for a moment then continued with a long sigh, "I regret to say it," Lily's stomach lurched, "but you will have to go home for the afternoon and return later tonight."

...

With a continuous feeling of nausea Mary opened the door to the classroom where many students already sat. She imaged they mirrored her own appearance: pale, shaky and with dark circles under the eyes. Not one of them matched the sunshine outside. Why couldn't it have been rainy today? It would have certainly matched the circumstances. One thing was though that Mary never realised how many Muggle borns there were in Gryffindor. As the minutes dragged on the room became full of them. Despite this she still felt alone, how could she not? Soon McGonagall would enter and read a list. Or would she hand out envelopes? Mary couldn't imagine how one went about these things but she was sure the Head of House would do it right and, more importantly, respectfully.

Ben joined the group right before McGonagall herself. He sat next to Mary and kissed her hairline beside her eye. She didn't smile but squeezed his hand instead then let go. To be touching somebody felt wrong in that moment.

"Everybody," McGonagall paused and so did the heartbeats of the Gryffindors, "please take a deep breath. All your families are safe."

In that moment Mary felt a breath escape her that she had been holding all night. A mass that had been sitting in her throat was released and so were the tears from her eyes. Her mind could only form the words _thank God_ over and over again. _Thank God, thank God, thank God._

"Thank God," she nodded with acceptance and wiped the tears from under her eyes with shaky fingers.

"Let's go," Ben pulled her from her chair and out through the joyful but alert crowd.

Lily walked by them in the corridor and gave Mary a quick hug and Ben a look of distress which Mary was not to see. She announced that she had somewhere to be and left them. Ben wondered if Mary even knew what had happened with Lily last night. What anybody knew about anything was a mystery but he wasn't going to ask now. As he had planned, within the half hour they were back on his bed where they had been before all this started. Mary had insisted on quickly writing a letter to her parents and Ben had never seen so much love on paper. Mind you, it was becoming slightly delirious by the end due to her tiredness. Remus was the one then to promise Mary that he would take it to the Owlery in that moment along with his own letters. Then, finally, the Muggle born Gryffindor was asleep with her boyfriend sitting beside her, dreaming of life after this horrific nightmare.

...

"Ingrid, we're not going to do anything. We think it's just safer to lie low and not join the Order."

"We're not made for killing or torturing."

"We'd probably put more people in danger, if anything really."

"We're sorry Ingrid but we're not as strong as you."

She watched with wide eyes as her friends excused themselves from her presence, leaving her alone on the windy hill. Only a few students remained outdoors and she let the strands of black hair flick over her face as she stood alone. Ingrid quickly scanned the area to make sure bloody Braithwaite wasn't around and relief filled her when she couldn't be spotted. Her light blue eyes settled a group of Gryffindor's. That was where she ought to have been sorted. She was a Gryffindor not a Hufflepuff. For years she had been proud of being a Hufflepuff or maybe that had all just been a play to cover her disappointment. Now her disappointment lied in her friends, the ones that had just confirmed that they will not be sticking by her after graduation. They were jumping ship, to the one of fear and horror.

"Stuff it," she mumbled to herself and pushed her hair behind her ears. The sun had just disappeared behind the tallest mountain and it was then that Ingrid witnessed Lily Evans and Severus Snape marching quite quickly in her direction. Lily walked on by but Severus made the effort to walk over and stand infront of Ingrid. She blinked slowly and raised an eyebrow. No matter how dangerous he tried to appear she remained unfazed. His gaze bore into her own eyes and both refused to blink. For some time the only noise made came from the crows flying above and Ingrid's cape whipping in the wind.

"She will be all yours to deal with," he said in a ragged voice. "She will single handily bring your little empire down. She won't be able to deal with the new pressure she's about to receive."

Ingrid didn't say anything and, to be honest, she had nothing to say.

"And let me tell you something because I know you love knowing everything: Voldemort will kill James by next winter," Snape whispered to her.

Ingrid lunged for the petty Slytherin who moved swiftly enough to avoid her.

"Vance!" Ingrid's head quickly snapped up to see Black standing a few metres up the hill.

"Time to go inside," Snape teased and continued walking after Lily who was now down at the Hogsmeade gate.

Ingrid watched him go with hate then turned to rush up the hill and ignore Sirius. Her efforts were fruitless though when he chased after her towards the castle.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing," answered Ingrid. She tried not to show any emotion, "What are you doing here anyway?"

Sirius didn't respond, "What made you –"

"_Nothing_, okay?" Sirius didn't stop following her and now Ingrid had the thought that perhaps this is how James felt that morning with her. She stopped abruptly and turned to face him, "I'm not going to be your friend all of the sudden, Black."

"You made that much clear last night," Sirius said more to himself than to Ingrid who looked up at him. "You judge people off their last names. Didn't the dear Lord Potter ever teach you not to do that?"

"He may have mentioned it in passing. I wasn't a great project of his. Anyway, family names mean a great deal." Ingrid tried to shrug the older Gryffindor off but he wasn't having it as he continued to follow her.

"Shouldn't you focus more on the person than their name? You don't like me so I'll use Lily for an example."

"Lily has Fawcett in her blood," Ingrid spoke over Sirius, "her mother's mother was originally a Wood who married a Fawcett. Two respectable families, Lady Evans just made the grave mistake of marrying into the wrong family meaning Lily was born under the wrong name. It isn't a shock that she sways towards our side." Sirius fell back and Ingrid turned to face him again but now with triumph. "Nor is it a shock that she… _loves_ James. You, however, are just a Black."

"Honorary Potter," Sirius added for good measure as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

"You're still a Black," Ingrid took the first of many steps to the Great Hall.

"You're still… a Hufflepuff." He didn't expect her to stop or for her resolved expression to fall away but it did. This was it, this was Ingrid's weak point and pathetic it was. She covered herself quickly though and continued on with her head high.

"Hufflepuff is a great house. Not a single Hufflepuff went bad."

"So when I return to the Black's I won't count on you joining me?" Sirius skipped a few steps to catch up with her. They were almost there now.

"Not a chance but you're brother, however… if I were ever to join a Black," she trailed off once they reached the doors to the Great Hall where students were already eating their dinner.

"Regulus?" Sirius looked into the Hall and spotted his younger brother at the Slytherin table with his Quidditch friends. His gaze returned back to Ingrid who was also watching Regulus. "You're lying."

"You believed me," she smirked then left him. It gave her thrills to do that to him.

Sunday night dinner was the first time they were all together again. A foreign silence loomed over the Hall. The sombre mood was so heavy it weighed out any conversation. Evelyn, Noah and Mary sat with the Marauders. The distinct absence of Lily was conveyed the best in James' expression and the constant checks he made on the entrance and the Slytherin table. It was within minutes that he realised Snape was missing as well.

"I'm sure everything's fine," Noah spoke up causing the group to face him, including James with dark eyes. Noah regretted it the moment he said it. Whatever was going on was far greater than what he could possibly imagine and now James, the dark horse of the night, was giving him glares. Evelyn had given him a supportive smile which made him feel pathetic but at least they'd all gone back to pushing the food around their plates.

"Are you always so positive?" asked James, who hadn't gone back to his food.

Noah hesitated, "Well, I wasn't so positive that time Snape and Mulciber decided to have a little duel. No, no I'm not always positive but in this scenario I think Lily will be okay." He ended strongly, feeling the strange need to set his place within this group.

James half smiled, "Of course she will be okay."

Sirius dropped his cutlery with a clatter and slammed his hands down on the table beside his plate, "Thank Merlin!" Students from other tables turned to see the source of the noise. "Finally! Now stop being so dramatic before you start acting like Braithwaite." James donned a smirk for Sirius' sake and returned to his food.

"Who will turn into that gossiping, raging –"

"Georgie!" Sirius moved over away from Remus who became alert, "Join us, we're a happy, happy party tonight."

"You don't have to," Remus started, searching the Ravenclaws face for any sign of discomfort. Then again, she had come over here herself.

"No, it's fine, I'll sit." When she did Remus realised that this was most likely the first time they had been together in front of all his friends or in front of anyone, really. Well, besides the Quidditch matches but those were in the early days.

"Is your family okay, Mary?" Georgia asked in a kind voice, one that Remus had not heard for so long. She was being the Georgia everyone knew her as. Kind, warm hearted, smart, the true image of Ravenclaw but even Remus remembered that behind all that the founder of Ravenclaw went mad.

"They're fine, thank you," Mary smiled politely. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of anyone's sympathy or worse yet, for people to treat her with special care. She had been through that one before.

Georgia wasn't going to give Mary any of this though, while she was kind, if your family didn't suffer they didn't suffer and she wasn't going to give you unworthy empathy.

Ben sensed this of the Ravenclaw and smirked, he wasn't in a kind mood today either, "Ready for the NEWTS, Georgia? I reckon James and Sirius here could give your top scoring spot a run for its galleons."

James looked warily between Ben and Remus while Sirius snorted, "NEWTS? Who has even given a damn about them? They're the least of our concerns."

"People who care about their future, clearly," Georgia answered easily.

"Not everyone plans on dedicating everything to this war," Evelyn came in as the voice of reason. James looked down at his plate, for a split second he felt like the fool who did dedicate everything to the war. He had a different life though and he couldn't pretend that even if he had a choice he wouldn't participate.

Dumbledore interrupted the topic and asked James to join him in his office. The group of Seventh years split after this but the topic continued in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Do you plan on dedicating everything to it?" Sirius turned around to ask Evelyn. Some of them sat down on the couch and armchairs around the fire but Sirius and Evelyn remained standing.

"No, I don't," Evelyn answered firmly, crossing her arms.

"And why not? After what happened yesterday don't you feel compelled to fight for your Muggle grandparents?" asked Sirius.

"My Muggle grandparents are dead," said Evelyn unfazed, "I am young and I plan on having a life after this."

"So you're going to do nothing?"

"I will fight," Evelyn answered simply. "I'm in the Order but Sirius, you don't understand. I look beyond the war, you boys," she looked apologetically towards Remus, "you only think about it not after it. You act as if… as if you plan on dying in it."

"If it means protecting my closest friends," Sirius stated almost stubbornly and Evelyn threw her hands up and collapsed on the spare spot of the couch next to Mary. Marlene McKinnon came into view once Evelyn had sat down and Sirius tilted his head in anticipation. She stood with her hands on her hips and lips slightly twisted.

"Looking for death doesn't make you courageous, Black," she said.

Amelia Bones sat next to the tired Remus to watch on. She patted his shoulder as he let his head rest in one hand while his eyes struggled to stay apart.

"It's more like the adventure and the thrill," Peter spoke up from his quiet spot.

"Exactly," Sirius agreed and Marlene pretended to understand with a nod.

"War will change you," said Marlene in a softer tone which still demanded everyone's attention.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were an expert," Sirius hit back, noticing everyone's head going from him to Marlene. She shrugged with a smile which lightened the mood immediately. She wasn't playing a game but rather just stirring. Her body relaxed as she stumbled forward to grab Sirius' arm and drag him up to the boy's dormitory.

Remus sighed deeply, "Now I have to wait." Amelia smiled kindly at him as if apologising for her friend.

"It's just two old ex's having fun," she said with a smile.

Marlene shut the door firmly behind them, "Talk to me."

"I'm not particularly in a talking mood after your little show and I still haven't forgiven you for abusing the Map." Sirius pretended to be hurt as he fell onto his unmade bed.

"I deserved to keep that thing for a little longer after doing all your bidding," said Marlene. "You still haven't paid me back for that by the way."

"You got to keep the Map for an extended period of time, isn't that enough?" Sirius rubbed his forehead.

"No," Marlene crossed her arms and stood above Sirius.

"What do you want then?"

"I don't know yet."

"Merlin," Sirius now ran his hands down his face then sat up. "Well why are we up here then? You just want to get people talking? Feeling bored? Thought 'oh, Sirius will be a good shag after a stressful weekend'?"

"Oh, oh Merlin, you think I want to shag you!" Marlene laughed. "Darling, we've been there and done that."

"No harm in –"

"No, shut up. Get that out of your head, we need to talk about the Head Students." Marlene sat down next to Sirius who, at the mention of the couple, fell back down to be lying sideways on the bed.

"I know nothing. I don't know why Lily has gone home and I don't know what Dumbledore wants with James. He's probably just giving him a good talking to, to be honest." Sirius fell silent while Marlene waited for more. "Why don't you ask Evelyn and Mary?"

"Because you know the most, Sirius Black but unfortunately you've let me down this time."

"Terribly sorry," Sirius grumbled before Marlene was standing over him again.

"Well, when you know what's happening tell me," said Marlene with the hinting tone that this was the end of their conversation.

"Ask Lily," Sirius sat up for the second time.

"Lily won't say a word. I'm not even supposed to know, remember?"

"She knows you know."

"I prefer to ask you and I'll be back when I think of a reward."

"Looking forward to it," said Sirius with complete sarcasm and Marlene showed herself out.

* * *

><p>The portraits disappeared one after the other in her peripheral vision as she walked with a fast pace down the corridor, only quickening her heartbeat even more. A cold dimness filled the manor and crows made their presence known just outside the windows. She wore the white sash which made her sick but she had matched it with a deep red dress. The same deep red.<p>

They wanted to make this formal and she would oblige to that at least. Reaching the bottom of the stairs the door to the small drawing room opened and Lily didn't expect the man who emerged. He walked towards her with an intense glare and grabbed her arm before she could protest. The swooping sensation overwhelmed her and where there had been hardwood floor was now dirt speckled with snow and twigs. Immediately their breaths were visible in the cold air and Lily felt her cheeks grow red while the rest of her skin lost whatever colour was left from the bitter winter.

"What are you doing?" she stayed completely still but doubt began to grow within her. Did she trust this man too much?

"I've planted an idea in your fathers mind," Lord Fawcett began; he seemed out of breath yet eager to get information across. Lily remained silent. "There are plenty of reasons why he put you with young Snape. The main being – now Lily you can't share this information with anyone, not even James –"

"I wouldn't…" Lord Fawcett silenced her with a look which made her heart clench. He knew and his eyes ran over her dress and Lily suddenly felt pitiful.

"Your father knows Severus' jealousy for James and he knew with you two being Head Students that Severus wouldn't be able to handle it. Especially if you were supposed to be his and his plan was for Severus to grow so jealous that it would be easy for him to…" Lord Fawcett dragged a hand down the side of his face.

"I understand," Lily saved him from further explanation. She looked through the trees that made up the skirt of the forest and towards the manor. "What I don't understand is how you know."

The man hesitated, "I can't share that with you."

"How do you know about James and me?" she wanted to be blunt and gain an upper hand in this conversation. Her eyes set on Lord Fawcett's and she could tell he was thinking quickly.

"Dumbledore."

Relief and a sense of betrayal filled her at the same time. At least he hadn't picked it up from someone else. "Right, who else knows?"

"I don't know. It is almost impossible to tell who knows what now."

"Does Lady Potter know?"

"I doubt it," Lord Fawcett answered quickly and Lily could sense his growing impatience.

"What about my own parents since you're clearly so close?" He winced at this which caught Lily off guard. What was he doing?

"Obviously your father hopes for his plans sake but this is what I need to tell you."

...

"James, this is my final warning!" The Gryffindor raised his head lazily to show the professor he was listening.

"I thought you were beginning to like the idea," James toyed with the words causing Dumbledore rage.

"What made you think that?" Dumbledore questioned while pacing an area of his office.

"Well, you hadn't said anything in a while."

"Perhaps I was being hopeful that you would regain some sense during your fight with her."

"It was very much Lily's –"

"James, I speak for your father now." Darkness swept over him, "Tradition and honour have always been such a strong aspect of the Potter family and if you don't care about tradition then you should care about your own wellbeing and honour."

"She should be on our side," James said, disregarding Dumbledore's statement. "She wants to be on our side."

"I know," Dumbledore lightened his tone, "but she also wants to be with you." He fell silent and walked around his office while James stared unseeingly at Fawkes' cage. "I had a feeling Lily would do what she did yesterday. So I made some plans."

James flicked his head to the direction in which Dumbledore was standing in.

...

"You're no longer part of us," the words hurt. She would never admit it because this was what she wanted but God, they stung. "You have deliberately betrayed us by cursing young Avery in front of your school!"

To her left Lily saw Snape give her a dark stare through the strands of black hair that fell over the side of his eyes. The hate he had for her was so purely evident. If they hadn't been two completely different people before, they were now. The words had set an ocean between them because now they were, officially, enemies. And when Lily thought about it she was standing in an enemy's house. Then again, so was Lord Fawcett who, for a reason only she knew, was still present. He watched her carefully making sure she played every card right and if she did, she would get out of here in one piece.

"I don't ever want to see you again!" Lord Evans roared over his wife's sobs. "You have until ten o clock to get out of this house."

Lily watched her father take her in one last time. He flicked his wand that he had an incredibly strong grip on and her sash turned to dust. The Evans badge that held it together fell with an awkward crash on the floor. Lord Evans then turned his shoulder on her. The door was slammed and Lady Evans rushed over to her daughter, "I will send everything to Evelyn's, don't worry about packing." She moved back to push the hair out of Lily's face with a loving smile. The aging woman picked up the badge and rest in Lily's sweaty palms, "Keep it, please. I love you."

She couldn't remember a time before and there would most likely never be a time after. Lily remained stunned while her mother quickly hustled away.

Severus was the next. He walked slowly to stand in front of her, inches away from her face. "You are no greater than a Mudblood now. Be warned that when I do get that proof of you and Potter your life will turn into a living hell."

"Because you will kill him," Lily whispered lightly.

"Exactly."

"He is better than you."

"But not Lord Voldemort."

Lord Fawcett interrupted once again grabbing Lily's forearm and dragging her out of the room. Her eyes stayed focused on Severus' as she was pulled away. Just as they were out of the doorframe Severus flicked his wand lazily and it slammed shut.

"Go," was all Lord Fawcett said and Lily ran with the words he had spoken to her in woods racing through her head.

"_Stay away from James."_

_..._

"So you understand?"

"Yes," said James flatly.

"She is not yours to adopt."

"Okay."

"They'll still be watching and waiting."

"Like always," James pushed himself up.

"Don't forget, James."

The only noise was from the movement of the stairs. The deep moans made as they changed positions travelled up and down the corridors they connected. Lily wondered where Snape was. She wasn't afraid of him, she never had been and she wasn't now but the knowledge of his whereabouts would have been nice. Her hands clutched the skirt of her deep red dress as she continued to climb the stairs. She had no time to change as she obeyed Lord Fawcett's instructions immediately. Dirt was speckled along the bottom but she could fix that easily. Her coat looked ridiculous with the floor length dress but there was no one around to see and the only person who would see wouldn't care. In fact, he would most likely remove it before there was even time to consider. Lily knew he would be waiting for her. Of course he would be, while everybody else slept unknowingly.

Peter laid awake completely aware that James was missing. The pitch black colour that splashed across the sky was now beginning to lighten to the deepest blue. The other three were fast asleep. Remus with his curtains half closed and Ben and Sirius with theirs fully open. He finally, after hours, decided to get up. A short walk could help and if not it would at least take up time. These nights were becoming more and more regular. His inability to sleep drew him to frustration which, ironically, was the thing that caused the inability in the first place. He tried to be as quiet as possible and walked in a way so the wooden boards under his feet wouldn't creak. Successfully he escaped the dormitory room and he could safely walk down the stone steps of the tower to the main landing. Lack of sleep and care had him land on the wooden landing quite loudly but it wasn't the only noise made. Through the railings he saw two people. Two people Peter had never wanted to see together because now he wasn't innocent.

He had his arm wrapped around her waist and placed his head against hers with her forehead against the curve of his nose. All his movements were lazy but still maintained a level of passion, a level of love. That much was clear. This was how two people who loved each other walked. The slightest hint of morning light illuminated them from the glass stained window of the Gryffindor Tower. She pulled him over to the wall by his shirt and kissed him with one hand behind his neck and the other on his shoulder. He cupped her face with his own hands and the desire was incredibly evident. She was pushed against the wall now by him wanting to be closer to her.

Lily's quick intake of breath was met with an exhale from James, "I know."

"There's somebody," Lily whispered so James could only just hear.

"It's probably an innocent first year," James mumbled then dropped his head upon the realisation that Lily wasn't going to relax. "Go to bed," he called.

"You can't do that."

"I think I can."

A door slammed and Lily bit her bottom lip with a tiny smile but James furrowed his brow, staring up at the boy's staircase where the noise had definitely come from.

Peter threw himself back onto his bed. Not bothering to pull up the blankets his mind tortured him. One part was telling him that James had treated him like a kid and that he always had. The only time James didn't was when he felt threatened by him. _Go to bed_ what a ridiculous instruction, one that parents used for their children. However, James didn't know, he had thought it was a first year. But common sense would surely tell you that a first year wouldn't be up at such a time on a Monday morning.

The restless inner voice was interrupted by the entrance of James himself who flopped himself down onto the bed he had left vacant for the night. Peter remained still with the sensation of holding his breath even though he wasn't, he was just breathing incredibly lightly. He hated himself for acting like the child James had treated him as, the child that was sent to bed but had not yet gone to sleep and would be scolded if the parent found out.

"She's back," he heard Sirius say in a sleepy voice. It wasn't a question but more a statement that just needed confirming. And it was, by James who mumbled a response which to Peter sounded like 'she is'.

"She's okay?" This one was a question and Peter knew it drew from Sirius' past. James replied with a positive 'hmm'. It then came to Peter's realisation that perhaps Sirius and James had these conversations all the time. How many nights did they converse in lazy tones while the rest of them slept unknowingly. What if sometimes they all talked while Peter slept? What if he had been missing out all this time on these seemingly sacred conversations?

"We have her," James broke the silence. "She's finally with us."

"What do you think, Wormtail?" His heart stopped at Sirius' question and he was sure James was shocked as well. Now wasn't the time to panic though, he had to act cool. He was one of them. They were no greater than he. He wasn't like, say, Noah Bourke who didn't belong in the group.

"I think it's great," Peter managed.

"Have you been up all night?"

"No, just now."

There was a scoffing noise from Remus' direction and movement from Bens. They all thought the exact same word but said nothing.

_Liar._

* * *

><p>I love choppy chapters. I will be coming back to re-edit this in the near future so I apologise for any major mistakes. I had done so but then it didn't save correctly on and I don't feel like raking through it again tonight. I just want to be up, it's incredibly hard to focus on a report while a near finished chapter is just calling for you to complete it. I hope, so much, that you all like the direction this is taking. I hit a crossroads with this chapter where I could have made the story go in a few different ways. This way certainly adds to the idea of Snape seeing Lily as worthless (publicly as least) but not is all swell. There are so many things I didn't mention in this chapter so there's no smooth sailing to come. Also, I'm sure you noticed, Ingrid featured heavily here. She is a major player now so get used to her ;) Her presence won't over ride the other characters though like it did in this chapter. The next one will be more normal.<p>

I love you all and thank you for reading, reviewing, alerting and adding to your favourites as always.


	17. In Noctem

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Easter, Happy Birthday to me and to you and to Harry Potter.

* * *

><p><em>Carry my soul into the night<em>

_May the stars light my way_

_I glory in the sight_

_As darkness __takes__ the day_

_Sing a song, a song of life_

_Lived without regret_

_Tell the ones, the ones I loved_

_I never will forget._

_Never will forget._

_In Noctem, Hogwarts Choir 1997_

If a gush of wind were to blow you over the Scottish highlands and lochs, through the forest and onto the Hogwarts grounds then up to the glorified Quidditch Pitch this is what you would see: Lily Evans sitting with her elbows digging into her knees and hands in a prayer like position as they just touched her lips. The Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch team flying high above her but she is keeping her eyes on the stand opposite her where Severus has just caught her stare and she immediately looks to ground. The icy wind would then blow you two stands from Severus' left to see Georgia Brown staring at Remus Lupin with narrow and misunderstanding eyes. For she could not comprehend how he could be sitting next to Peter Pettigrew, a boy she wished dead. The high turn of the wind would raise you to Noah Burke's level of seating and you would see a boy who watched the game with the blankest eyes that were suddenly distracted by Ingrid Vance picking herself up and vacating the Hufflepuff stand opposite. Lastly, the wind would have you fluttering in the wings of the golden Snitch high above and then, still caught in the wings, you would be hurling towards the ground only to be encased in a brown leather glove. And that's the end of your journey.

…

_One week earlier_

"If you already think someone is something you're opinion is not going to change overnight," Ben turned his head to face Mary as they lay just outside of the old beech tree's shadow. Spring was alive and well at Hogwarts. Coloured patches of wild flowers were scattered along the lower mountainsides where the peaks were still lightly capped with snow. The young Whomping Willow was now covered with a lush blanket of green leaves and new grass began to cover everything else. While every so often wild animals would peak out of the forest for the sunlight and the birds finally returned to the cloisters of the castle.

"I disagree," said Mary pointedly whilst shielding her eyes from the sun as she lied next to Ben.

"You do?"

"I do, if you had a high opinion of someone and then they did something offensive to you then your opinion would change instantly."

"Well, obviously," Ben shrugged, "but in this case you think the person is bad so you're not going to change your mind quickly. It's harder to get in the good books rather than the bad books."

"Well, obviously," Mary repeated and Ben sighed, clearly giving up on the topic. Mary sensed this and reached for her Transfiguration book to study. She rolled onto her stomach and turned to the last chapter. She had almost covered it all but with worry her eyes averted to Ben who now had his own eyes shut. Mary had not seen him study once and although he was smart she did have her concerns.

Relief and satisfaction filled her after an hour once she closed the book. Stretching out, she noticed a group of students walking along the top of the hill away from the castle. One boy in particular was leading the army of Gryffindors carrying broomsticks and his motivational calls could be heard from the bottom of the hill. Casting a glance at Ben, who slept peacefully, then back to the boys, Mary smirked.

"Ben," Mary pushed him, "tell me about this rather important Quidditch match you have this weekend?"

Ben moaned something incompressible.

"Potter would have you training for that, right?"

Mary counted in two seconds before Ben jumped, gave her a fleeting kiss then ran up the slope.

"Good luck!" she called after him laughing and turning onto her back. Wisps of white cloud floated through the sky and she watched them go by through her eyelashes completely relaxed. Running her fingers through the growing grass she heard them before she saw them, the pounding of their feet as they ran down the hill towards their usual spot.

Lily was the first on the ground next to Mary then Evelyn landed on her other side breathing heavily.

"Why did we ever abandon you old beech tree?" Lily sighed looking longingly up at the tree. She rolled onto her stomach so she could see the other two better and plucked daisies out of the ground. "I think we should go somewhere for Easter."

"It's next week, bit late to plan anything don't you think?" said Evelyn who now had her eyes closed facing the sun.

"Are you still supposed to be going to the Fawcett's?" asked Mary.

"Dumbledore thinks it would be best. If I do decide to go that is, or I can stay here. Will you be at Bens?"

"No, I'll be spending the week with my parents. Won't get any work done at Bens."

Lily dropped her head trying to disguise her grin, "Surely it's not that much work like all the other years?"

"Are you serious?"

"I haven't looked," said Lily spinning one of the flowers in her hand.

"It's just study, that's all," Evelyn joined in dully. "I can't wait for this week to be over. I just want to get out of this school, if I see another foul Slytherin… we better win this Quidditch match. Is James positive about it?"

"Of course he is," Lily answered quickly.

"Have you spoken to James lately?" asked Mary.

"No," said Lily just as quick as before.

"This game should be the most important thing in your lives right now! You should be thinking about it every day. You should feel confident about it all the time!" James Potter walked backwards facing his team, stepping on the fragile flowers as he did. Sirius walked forwards next to James but with a smirk rather than the face of a warrior or commander in chief.

"In todays practice you must be perfection and you will not be leaving the pitch until you are. Ben?"

"Sorry," Ben struggled to breathe as he reached the group. Everyone stopped as James did and Sirius turned.

"Where's your broom?" James asked flatly.

"In the shed," Ben crouched over, leaning on his knees.

"No, it's not," James replied and Ben cursed himself. His broom was indeed not in the shed. James had made everyone take their brooms back to their dorms to prevent them from being jinxed by the Slytherins. It was smart but bloody annoying.

"I'll use a second hand one," Ben waved his hand and tried to stand up straight.

The team turned to James waiting. Ben and Sirius received special treatment, everybody knew this. James never treated them like anyone else in the team and now sat an awkward silence of sorts.

"You should get your broom," James threw his own to Ben who caught it with ease. An understanding smile was shared and Ben left. "Does everybody else have their brooms?"

Silence.

"Right."

Ben rolled his eyes as he reached the Fat Lady, this was ridiculous. He climbed the stairs and reached the dormitory where his own broom waited but his blood went cold as he entered the room. Within one second his wand was held out and James' broom had been dropped to the floor with a loud clatter.

"What are you doing here? Why is he here!" Ben roared at Peter who had gone beyond pale.

"Ben Wood… shouldn't you be out practicing how to throw a ball?" the intruding Slytherin sneered, "and leaving us proper Nobles alone?"

"Proper? _Proper_!" Ben spat and pointed his wand at Peter, "he isn't of noble blood."

"I count him as an honorary member of my own," Severus Snape said in a bored tone.

Ben laughed, "You can't do that. Peter, what are you doing?" he asked sincerely. "Why have you let this filth in our room? Where everything… The Marauders…" Ben lost his words as he noticed Peter showed no emotion and he suddenly felt outnumbered and threatened in his own room.

"The Marauders?" Severus laughed cruelly and walked over to James' bed passing Ben who still had his wand raised and now his back to Peter. "The Marauders…" Severus picked up the Invisibility Cloak and disappeared.

Ben sat up straight in his bed. The blankets were on the ground and he was out of breath, again. For the third night in a row he had experienced the same dream. Everyone else in the room was fast asleep in the darkness that surrounded them. Ben's eyes settled on Peter's drawn curtains. He knew it was all surely just a dream but the problem was that he couldn't actually remember coming back to get his broom that day. He knew he was out with Mary and that he didn't have his broom. Then James sent him back and then… well, he must have just got the broom then headed back to the pitch. As per every night Ben's eyes grew too heavy to continue and he was asleep again within minutes but it was always restless as his subconsciousness ran through that afternoon again and again.

"You look horrible." Mary, with her hand on Ben's chin, turned his face towards her so she could study him in the light that shone through the tall window behind her. He leaned forward and kissed her but she pulled away. "What did you do last night?"

Retiring from his efforts, Ben picked up his quill and aimlessly traced over the heading _Transfig_ that he had written on the first page of his notebook. "I slept," he said lightly, wishing that the class would begin soon. He shouldn't have come so early with Mary.

"And the night before?" Mary sat with her head resting in her palm. She curiously looked to James and Sirius who were laughing about something but they didn't appear to have the same weariness as Ben did.

"Oh, on that night I went to Hagrid's hut and got madly drunk then we apparated to Norway – without a splinching – and checked out this dragon reserve thing, kind of bizarre but hey, came back in one piece and now I'm here."

"How brave of you."

"It was a joke."

"So was that."

Class began and no more was said. In fact, no more was ever said on the matter until months later when it all seemed obvious and when Ben wished he had never questioned himself and forced it to the back of his mind and Mary would never let an instinct go ever again.

…

Four of them had gathered secretly two months ago now. James had suggested the neglected classroom which he and Lily used for Prefect meetings. He knew she, or anyone else for that matter, wouldn't go there unless a meeting was in place. It was dusty, cold and completely forgotten which made it perfect for the two Head Students when they loitered behind after meetings.

Remus, instinctively, sat in his usual seat while James, Sirius and Ben each pulled up a chair around him. Their Gryffindor scarves were wrapped up to their chins and when they talked their breath was visible in the seemingly stale air. James hesitantly explained what he believed to be true; Peter had caught him and Lily, which he felt was a concern due to Peter's supposed time spent with Snape. Then Remus reasoned that none of them had seen Peter with Snape since long before Christmas. Sirius, on top of this, recommended that they let it go in good faith. They agreed and let it go.

Until it came back to Remus, that is.

"Are you aware," Georgia started slowly in the present day, "that Pettigrew spends time in a rather questionable area of the restricted section?"

Remus looked up at her from his book and raised an eyebrow, "He's a seventh year student. Like you and I."

Georgia blinked, "Yes," she dropped an aged book in front of Remus who flicked through the thin yellow sheets that made it.

"These are all quite out-dated by, what, centuries. This is what you found him looking at?" Remus looked back to the cover, "_Torturous Curses for the Advanced_." He wanted to say Peter wasn't clever enough but he saved it.

"Spells come and go… and come again," Georgia didn't quite catch his eye but more looked towards the filled wooden shelves that towered above her and Remus.

Facing the book cover down, Remus sighed loudly to get her attention, "Why do you care?" he asked with interest but Georgia felt as though this was now a test of sorts. He had the slightest of slight smiles and his eyes now were just slightly narrowed as if it were a game, too.

So she gave herself time and thought about the answer.

"Could be serious," she shrugged.

"It isn't serious," he said instantly.

"How do you know?"

"Because… I do."

She put her hands on her hips and judged Remus' reassuring nod. With her huff the fly-aways from her messy braid rose up and then down, which Remus noticed.

"Ravenclaw has a house meeting before dinner."

"Is it me or is this becoming a common occurrence?"

Georgia kissed Remus lightly, "Common occurrence."

Once she left Remus eyed the book again. Wanting to get away from it, he swept all his belongings into his bag with one arm and walked away only before guilt rose within him and he retraced his steps to put the book away. Quickly, he paced down the side aisle of the restricted section trying to figure out where this particular book belonged. Speeding past one row he paused abruptly.

It couldn't have been.

"Peter?" Remus walked backwards to see his friend five metres down.

"Remus?" Peter seemed surprised but then so was Remus who noticed that what he was holding had now been exposed. "What's that you have there?"

"A book," Remus answered quickly whilst searching for some form of recognition in Peter's expression. There was.

"I can see that," Peter was thinking quickly and Remus waited. "That one is a bit old though, had a flick through it the other day."

"Really, why would you be looking at it? It seems like it would attract those who are more inclined to… do bad things. Don't you think?"

"Then why am I seeing you holding it now?" Peter made a point. He could assume as much of Remus as Remus himself had assumed of Peter.

Remus hadn't needed to come up with an answer because Peter went on.

"I know that you are still a bit so-so with me and it's my fault, completely. Yes, I kind of went… _there_ but that's all passed. There's nothing to gain from it. I don't know why I did it." Peter trailed off and Remus believed him.

* * *

><p><em>Three days ago<em>

"_Obliviate_," Peter directed his wand at Ben and to his relief it worked flawlessly because something within him had just snapped.

"Bloody James making me get my own broom," Ben mumbled before he picked up the two brooms on the floor and left as if nothing had happened. The moment the door flung shut Snape had thrown the Cloak onto James' bed but Peter wasn't finished.

Before Snape could do anything Peter had flicked his wand with a flourish known only to a few people and it was clear that Snape recognised his own creation before he was on the floor, unconscious. Peter lowered his wand and walked around aimlessly before making fists and hitting the wall. The noise that was made created urgency within him. James, Sirius and Ben would be absent for a while longer but Remus could be back at any moment.

Flustered, Peter threw James' Cloak over Snape and levitated him ever so slowly out of the dormitory and out of the common room. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and his body produced a steady shake. He didn't know where the students of the damn school were but he thanked Merlin that they weren't loitering around the Gryffindor Tower. Two floors down and an alcove which presented itself suitable was now Snape's new resting place. Wasting no time, Peter ran back to his room, neatly folded the Cloak, remembered it was never folded, scrunched up the Cloak and threw it in James' trunk then collapsed on his bed.

The pounding noise in his ears continued as he thought back to what he had just been told. Severus Snape has every intention to learn Legilimency. Something, that once he became an accomplished Legilimens, he could do without a wand and, even worse, words. As soon as Peter had heard this he went into an instant panic. He had known and had seen things that he did not want Snape to see. He had thought he could do all of this and still keep things to himself. Childish, was the word that came to Peter's mind and it stuck.

Even worse Peter had spent too much time with Snape that he walked straight into a trap. Peter didn't want to think that the Slytherin had used the Imperio curse on him but it was only too possible because he certainly did not willingly bring Snape to the dormitory. No, Peter was not that stupid. He wanted to say something to Ben but no words would come out of his mouth until finally the magic broke, perhaps under Snape's hidden anxiety that they had been found. Peter stared at the clock on his bedside table until his eyes hurt. This was the end of it and he just hoped that Ben wouldn't remember…

The door opened and Lily, laughing, walked in with Remus.

"Sorry to bother you, Peter," she waved with that glow she had on some days and others not. "I just need to steal one of Remus' books."

Peter rose slowly from the deep sleep he had unintentionally fallen into. With a quick side glance to windows he could tell it had just fallen dark. His mind automatically recounted earlier events and his stomach contracted as he orientated himself with the time and the people around him. Seeing Remus made him remember yet another mistake he had made earlier on the weekend but that could be fixed… hopefully.

Lily had planted herself on James' bed and Peter noticed that her cheeks were a little red, most likely from the sun. Remus, pale as usual, kneeled beside his trunk whilst digging through it and throwing Lily books every so often.

"It has a dark green cover, Remus, with gold writing" described Lily as she threw incorrect textbooks back at him. Remus muttered something from the depths of the trunk but Lily only smiled and laid back waiting for this textbook.

Just as Remus called his victory the three Quidditch players dragged themselves in. Peter eyed Ben carefully, trying to note any change but there didn't seem to be anything as the boy kicked his broom under his bed. Sirius was the first to grab cleaner clothes and head to the bathroom. Remus, whose moment was stolen, threw his dark green covered textbook to Lily who caught it with ease while keeping eye contact with James who stood tall at the end of his bed watching her, arms crossed.

Peter couldn't really see them from his angle but they lasted for a moment and he realised it was the first time he had seen the two of them together for weeks. Finally, James turned and opened the cupboard in search for clean clothes of his own.

"Thank you so much, Remus," Lily jumped over to him and gave a light hug from behind as he was packing up his trunk. Within seconds she was gone and discussion about Quidditch broke out.

* * *

><p>Evelyn marched to the front of the classroom with a storm in her wake. Furious, she slammed her hand down on Professor Slughorn's desk.<p>

"No," was the beginning of her argument.

"Sorry, my dear?" Slughorn stared at her.

"This," Evelyn gestured to the list of pairings she had just received, "is not going to happen. I refuse to work with her. I will _not_ work with a Slytherin."

"Miss Bell, in a time like this it is important to encourage inter-house partnership. I'm afraid there is nothing I can do about." Of course he could but he wouldn't. Evelyn made her way to the workbench where a smirking Clarissa Bulstrode stood with one hand on her hip and the other leaning on the workbench.

"This'll be fun," Clarissa enthused as she turned to keep facing Evelyn. "How about you stop being a poor team mate, realise we're not the only Slytherin and Gryffindor pairing and get to work."

Evelyn reluctantly allowed herself to look at the other pairings and Clarissa was right. There was also a Hufflepuff and Slytherin pairing and Noah was paired with a more quiet Slytherin, Tom Parkinson. The Ravenclaw wizard noticed Evelyn's stare and waved encouragingly.

"See, Burke seems fine," said Clarissa. "In fact, they already know each other," she added slowly after a pause.

Evelyn gave a small snort, "Doubtful, Noah isn't friends with any Slytherins. I'm going to get the ingredients." Taking the list and a small spare box with her Evelyn rushed over to the shelves of jars.

"Lily, tell your darling Professor that he can't do this," she joined up with the redhead and added everything to her box that Lily did.

"I can't do anything," Lily and Evelyn glanced back at the table to see Severus speaking to Clarissa. "Just… get the job done," Lily finished firmly.

...

Peter joined the rest of them at eight o'clock to go to a rather exclusive Order meeting. They had been few and far between, these meetings. So once word spread about a new upcoming one for seventh year students only excitement grew between the boys. Peter was especially excited to break the news on the way that this particular meeting was actually a lesson. The Gryffindor Tower was now far behind them and he couldn't wait any longer. The small talk died down, their voices stoped echoing through the empty stone corridors and he took his chance.

"It's actually going to be a lesson, you know?" he started, unable to control the grin on his round face.

At first no one said a thing then Remus turned, for he was a few paces ahead of the rest looking out for Georgia, Peter assumed. "A lesson?" the tall Gryffindor repeated.

"Yeah, on –" Peter quickly checked his surroundings, "– Patronuses"

They all faced him for a mere few seconds then continued on. No one said a thing but there was a shift in mood or energy between them. Peter couldn't place it, everyone still looked the same. Lily had continued talking to Evelyn, Remus kept walking ahead, James spoke in low tones to Sirius but it wasn't about Patronuses and Mary and Ben slowly followed the lot of them in their own world.

Soon enough the Ravenclaws, Georgia Brown, Nicky Branstone and Noah Burke, joined the Gryffindor group at the half way point. Without hesitation Georgia wrapped her arms around Remus and led the group with him. Peter wondered if she had told Remus about what had happened, about what he had said to her. From the looks of it Peter assumed not but from the ignorance Georgia was displaying towards him, he guessed it was still fresh in her mind.

They all entered a spacious room that Peter hadn't seen since the Marauders invented the Map. The walls were covered in red paper that had an ancient story painted upon it in gold. The room boasted of tall narrow arched windows along one wall but no furniture besides large candles which glowed on cobwebbed stands.

"I have come up with an ideal way of communication. The use and ability to cast ones Patronus will be imperative during these times. Your Patronus will be able to carry messages from you to another and not be interrupted." Dumbledore began his speech in the candlelit room. Outside the windows was a clear night. The moon highlighted owls swooping through the air around the castle and if one was to look downwards the grounds would be clear and visible in the moonlight.

Lily cast a glance at James who kept his eyes fixed on Dumbledore. Her heart-rate quickened ever so slightly and she wished to be anywhere else but here. In the moment that Peter mentioned what this was going to be about she wanted to take James aside. They, the other seventh year students, would know it was not just a coincidence. This was why James wasn't impressed the moment he saw her Patronus. He knew this day would arrive. Lily did too but she didn't think it to be so soon. Dumbledore continued on about the usefulness of the spell but Lily heard none of it. She stared out those windows and spotted a flock of birds fly upwards out of the forest and she wondered what had happened out there and could it be worse than what was about to happen in here?

Before she could get too carried away in her thoughts a silver phoenix raised up above her. The beauty in Dumbledore's Patronus was mesmerizing. Everyone followed its movement around the high ceilinged room and it was in this moment that she caught James' attention. He gave her one nod.

Every one broke out from the huddle that had been formed and Lily directed herself towards the tall windows. She breathed on one smaller panel and traced a star in the fog created.

"What are you afraid of?" James asked from behind her. Lily could see in the reflection that he, too, was looking at the forest, maybe he had seen the birds before.

"No one in here," she turned to look up at him with a slight tilt of her head.

"We've kept space between us for weeks –"

"Doesn't mean it's changed," Lily cut in darkly.

"I'm not finished and I know it will still be what it was before. What I mean to say is that they're not on the edge of their seats waiting for it. Quite the contrary, they're more interested in their own then yours or mine for that matter."

"What did you think when Peter mentioned it?" Lily asked.

"I didn't believe him." They both looked over at Peter who was struggling like the majority of students in the room.

"Potter!" Dumbledore raised his voice across the room and James paused before making his way over.

"He doesn't know that you can do it," he whispered to Lily then left to join the group on the other side.

It wasn't long until the silver smoke which formed as a stag galloped across the room and Lily felt the pressure.

"Don't think we haven't noticed that you're not even trying," Mary nudged Lily while Evelyn continued her attempts.

Lily didn't particularly know what to say without sounding conceited. She thought over when James asked what was she afraid of and she, proudly, replied _no one in here_. She was being honest though, there really wasn't anybody to fear in this room.

Resigning to her plan of just doing nothing she stepped aside and found James in the small crowd. As soon as she parted her lips to say the charm a stab of fear mixed with regret hit her. What if this would ruin their plan? It was too late to turn back as her own silver doe pranced over to James as she had intended. It caught everybody's attention as it was fully corporeal and silence filled the room. The doe disappeared once James took his eyes off it and looked to its creator.

She wanted to kiss him right then. It would have been just like those big romantic gestures that featured heavily in her Muggle novels but she stayed still. James gave her a half smile but she knew from the way he held himself that he was pleased and proud of her.

"It's becoming a bit of a forest in here," Sirius broke the silence loudly but before a reaction could be formed Professor McGonagall, hair out and night robe on, sped through the door and marched her way to Dumbledore.

The students were silenced and waited whilst the two spoke in hushed tones facing away from the rest. Peter nervously tapped his wand against his thigh as he watched James face Remus who had the better hearing. A name was mentioned but Peter couldn't be too sure. Remus nodded at James and it was confirmed, this was a matter of the Order but also one of the better noble families. Peter now noticed everything about James change. A shadow of darkness had cast itself upon his features and Peter knew he was worried but that didn't show and it never would on James. Possible scenarios were already running through Peter's mind. He knew what they could do, he had heard it all.

McGonagall finished and stood by Dumbledore as he dismissed everyone except James which Peter found to be unfair. If they were all part of the Order shouldn't they all be informed? Clearly, nobility still held priority.

"There is so much I would like to say about the past month… tonight… but right now, the very present, unfortunately needs to be addressed first and foremost." Dumbledore spoke slowly and James let his eyes wander around the room.

"What happened to Em?" he asked directly.

Dumbledore didn't hesitate, "She was captured in a raid. It appears that our plans were not entirely a secret and therefore they knew we were coming. I blame only myself."

"Can I tell Ingrid?" she was the only person on James' mind.

"I don't think it's best for student to bear such a responsibility," McGonagall said, clearly concerned.

"I wouldn't say Ingrid and I are merely peers at this school," James argued. "I want to do it."

McGonagall waited for Dumbledore to speak, leaving the final decision to him. "You will tell her what I have told you and that action is being made. I will inform you of any news but I doubt there will be anything by the time you tell her. Also, let her know that if she needs to visit myself, Professor McGonagall or even Professor Sprout she may do so immediately without hesitation. And you, James, must not hesitate yourself. It's best to just do it without waiting for a good time."

* * *

><p>"I can do it," Sirius offered at breakfast the next morning.<p>

"No," said James without consideration.

"You have to do it today," said Remus sternly.

The whole ordeal would probably have been easier if Ingrid had engaged in some contact with him over the last weeks but she hadn't. In fact, she seemed to be quite preoccupied all the time. With what, James didn't know but it annoyed him.

The owls swooped down and as usual these days, the Marauders received nothing but that was okay because Ingrid Vance did and whatever it was came in a navy envelope which meant it was from her home. James peeked through students as the unaware Hufflepuff unfolded the Vance stationary. His heart leaped, they must have told her, they'd beaten him to it. Ingrid folded and hastily stuffed the paper back in its envelope before squeezing out of her spot on the long bench. James watched her carefully as she quickly left the hall.

"That was it," he looked at Remus and Sirius for the confirmation he didn't need and chased after Ingrid.

"Ingrid!" he called out after her just as she began to cross one of the grass courtyards. She turned with a faint smile and not a feature out of place as the sun shined around her. James fell short of everything he had planned to say.

"Yeah?" she rocked back and forth on her heels with her letter well hidden by now.

"Are you all right?" James ran his hand through his hair confused.

"Sure."

"Have you heard from your family recently?" he fished for something – _anything_ – to replace this awkwardness with.

"Just now actually, Mum just ravelled on about Easter coming up and so on." Ingrid innocently squinted in the sunlight waiting for James to say something.

"How quick is your owl?" James asked.

"Not very, the letter is dated for the day before last. I really need a new owl but you know…" Ingrid shrugged and waited for James. "Listen, I've got somewhere to be –"

"Yeah it's fine, go," James turned before Ingrid did. Sirius and Remus were waiting in the river of students that now surrounded the four sides of the courtyard. The disappointment on their faces was evident and before he could register anything else Lily was at his side shoving pieces of paper in his hands.

"Can you please hand those extra one's out to the prefects you see today. I got most at breakfast but some weren't there." James flicked through what appeared to be an adjusted patrol timetable and read all the names Lily had written on top of each.

"They're all Slytherins," he raised his brow.

Lily shrugged and James was reminded of Ingrid, "They weren't there. Look, if you don't want to –"

"I'll do it," James held the roster's away from her.

"Okay, have a look and get back to me and please get those other ones out. Two Slytherins were supposed to be on tonight."

He scanned for the date and found that now he and Lily were on instead of the two Slytherins. Lily was gone by the time he finished but she was waiting in the common room on time at the strike of ten thirty. A later patrol time had been implemented due to the changes elsewhere in the Wizarding world and they would do the first one tonight. The only corridors they walked were the ones that led to their spare classroom where the meetings were held.

James sat in a random chair near the front but Lily kept walking all the way and sat on the main desk.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked feeling the distance now more than ever in the last month.

"Emmeline is gone and I have to tell Ingrid," James ran his hand through his hair avoiding Lily's eyes. From his peripheral vision he saw her jump off the desk and walk slowly around tracing her finger on the desk then flicking the dust off onto the floor.

"Why don't you just do it?" James flinched ever so slightly at her directness.

"How do you tell someone that?"

"You just say it," Lily was behind him now but James didn't move.

"Without hurting her?"

"You're going to hurt her, of course, but you wanted to. You _asked_ to, or so Sirius tells me."

James twisted around to see her sitting on a desk a few rows away. "Have you adopted your family's cruelness since a month ago?"

Lily said nothing but stared at him.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"I have to tell you something," she started and did not stop until her whole story was told. By then she was in front of James and every part of her wanted to fall onto him.

"It's been awhile," James spoke after a moment's silence.

"It was only going to be so long."

"Are you going to go?" There he went with that expression that she could not read so she decided not to answer for the moment. "You'll be fine. Take your wand."

Lily frowned, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Sometimes I think… I think you still see him as someone he is not."

"I see him for exactly who he is," said Lily firmly and James ran his hands through his hair again with a deep sigh.

"Really? There's not one tiny part of you that is still left behind?"

"Behind where?"

"Oh, I don't know, left at old Chalfield, some fourteen year old running around extravagant corridors in young love with the boy that visits every other day." James tried to say this off handily but he feared that he failed.

"It was us running down corridors in that house."

James scoffed, "Not at fourteen. You two… were a team once upon a time." Lily felt her stomach tighten and brow furrow as James stared down at the desk. "He's been quiet over the last few weeks and I just don't want you to be under prepared."

"We've been quiet too," said Lily and James could hear the hint of pain in her voice.

"So when is it?" James asked, ignoring what she had just said. He didn't want to go there despite knowing that Lily had set this night up to address that exact issue.

"I don't know," she lied. It was going to be the night of the Quidditch match.

Realising that James wasn't going to follow her on the topic she so desperately wanted to talk about, Lily turned on her heel to leave. Before she reached the door she heard him get up and it was only seconds before he had his hands on her shoulders and had spun her around to be almost against him.

"We are going… so well," he muttered against the top of her head and she closed her eyes. "_You_ are going so well and I know you know I've been watching. You know I wish to be more of a help to you but you have everyone else and we've only got one more week, one more."

Lily let herself revel completely in the feeling of him running his hands down her back but he didn't kiss her like she thought he would. She didn't try to kiss him either, instead she nodded and led the way back to the Gryffindor Tower with James a few paces behind just like they had over a month ago.

"_I want Lily to go into this completely uninfluenced," said Dumbledore seriously. "I think it would be wise for Lily to be on her own until Easter. I know you share the same circle of friends so it will be difficult but if you two could keep a distance, it would be wise. The questions will start soon, it's only a matter of time, and I think Lily should handle them herself. Also spending time with other people in the Order that you usually wouldn't could be a good idea too." _

_It certainly wasn't a question or recommendation. It was an order and although they usually ignored such things this one seemed to make sense. Lily felt James looking at her but she didn't move. She held her head up and simply nodded. No words could come to her in that moment. It had been two weeks since her family severed ties with her and she had depended on James for all assurance since. So, perhaps, this was what she needed. The brave face she displayed needed to no longer be an act but the real thing. As for influence, Lily wasn't completely in favour of everything James said anyway but maybe speaking to others like Ingrid and even Ben about how things were done could be worth her while. _

_She hadn't realised that Dumbledore and James were talking but before she could catch up they had finished and she was descending the narrow staircase from Dumbledore's office. The whole way back to the dormitory she was a pace ahead of James and not a word was spoken. Everything was going to change._

* * *

><p>Noah breathed in deeply before potions that day. He hated this class at the moment. Slughorn wasn't teaching them what they needed to know for their NEWTS. He was simply floating around making up some farfetched curriculum. Then, because of this, Noah felt the need to study extra hard to make up for what wasn't taught in class. On top of this he began tutoring a couple of students that were preparing for their OWLS. He shouldn't have accepted the offer with his own plate as full as it was but he couldn't stand seeing them in the corner of the common room stressing out any more. He kept this to himself though. The last thing he wanted was other people lecturing him about taking on more work.<p>

Tom Parkinson came up beside Noah who gave a small smile as a _hello_. The class filed in and everybody went straight to the benches to continue their work from days past.

"What are planning for after school?" Parkinson asked out of the blue and Noah couldn't decide if it was a hint towards the war or if he was genuinely interested in career prospects.

"I'm thinking of teaching," said Noah lightly, it was a nice open answer he thought.

"Wizarding or Muggle?" Parkinson went on.

Noah pushed up the sleeves of his sweater and crushed the bozoar's buying himself time. "Not sure," he finally answered.

"I think it's ridiculous how the noble families think this war is about them," Parkinson said so quietly Noah wasn't sure if he heard it right. To be safe he said nothing but the Slytherin went on, "Don't you agree? I mean, certainly they have some part but they'll all be dead by the end of it and there'll be no more. Then the only divide will be pureblood and Muggleborn, just as it should be. What do you think?"

Noah glanced around the room, it wasn't really a great place to be talking about such things, especially with a Slytherin. "I think we have different views about it."

"Sure you're for equality of Muggleborns and I'm for the superiority of purebloods but what about this third party business?"

"I have friends that are nobles –"

"So do I," Parkinson cut in but still in a barely audible voice.

Noah didn't want to say what he really thought. He wasn't used to voicing his own opinions and he didn't feel now was the time to start so he gave no answer and the conversation ended to his relief.

Evelyn noticed Clarissa's sly smile from the beginning of class but pretended to ignore it. Time past incredibly slowly as everyone immersed themselves in their own work with small talk inbetween. Evelyn had noticed Parkinson and Noah talking quite a bit and soon Clarissa decided to start.

"You know, I didn't realise Noah would show an interest in the Dark Arts, quite a surprise."

Evelyn didn't say a word.

"Yeah, he joined us the other day. Had a good old chat about things, I told you he and Tom already knew each other."

"Do you just have this urge to stir? Like, do you just live to mess with other people?" Evelyn put her blunt cutting knife down.

"I'm not messing with anyone," Clarissa shrugged with her hair bouncing on her shoulders as she did so.

"You are! You think I'm going to believe that Noah has an interest in what you lot do after class?"

"I'm just letting you know, okay," Clarissa held both hands up in defence against the fiery Gryffindor.

"No, it's not okay. Is everything just a joke to you Death Eaters?" Evelyn shut her eyes the second she said it and she could feel Slughorn right next to her before she opened them.

The class was staring at her as Slughorn whispered in her ear that he recommended she excuse herself and see him for detention that evening. Avoiding eye contact with everyone, Evelyn picked up her bag and weaved her way through the benches.

...

Sirius watched Evelyn sulk back into the common room after her detention with Slughorn. Clearly, he thought, she didn't know how to enjoy detention. It was something that had to be mastered after years of practice after all.

"Three Broomsticks?" James suggested from his seat as he dropped a potions book on the floor.

"Not until you tell Vance that her cousin is missing," said Remus sternly.

"You haven't done it yet?" Sirius sat up instantly.

"If I had I would have told you."

"I'm going for a walk," Sirius pushed himself out of his own armchair and didn't look back as he quickly escaped the small crowd of students.

James let him go and held all the words he wanted to say back.

It wasn't until minutes later that Remus spoke up, "You know what he's gone to do, don't you?"

She crossed her legs which were covered with sheer stockings and let her head rest in her hand as she smiled at the Gryffindor chaser, John Abercrombie. Sirius, who had turned had few heads as he rushed into the Great Hall, sat next to Ingrid making his presence well known. Unamused, she simply gave him one second then turned her attention back to Abercrombie who had now stopped talking in Sirius' presence. Ingrid noticed this and as her smile dropped she turned to the seventh year.

"What?"

Sirius gave Abercrombie a look which Ingrid presumed was some sort of code because he got up and left rather quickly leaving her with just Sirius.

"I was having a conversation, you know?"

"There is something important –"

"Really? Merlin, Sirius, tell me all about it and I'll pretend to care," Ingrid mocked him with her words and expression.

He didn't wait for James, "Emmeline is missing."

Ingrid's face fell blank and she stared at the table. She wanted to say that she already knew but that would be a lie. She only knew something wasn't right. She hated Sirius for telling her this way and she wanted to slap him to release the overwhelming feeling that suffocated her in that moment. The footsteps of the other one made her look up and reveal her now pale complexion. James ran towards her and she calculated that this did not go to his plan. Perhaps he was supposed to tell her but Sirius stole the opportunity.

James jogged the last metres to reach her and Ingrid watched him expectantly, "I'm sorry," he said and she scoffed.

"Don't say that shit," she scrunched up her features.

"The Order have –"

"Well obviously there's something happening. Why don't we all just use our fucking Patronuses to bring her home!" Ingrid snapped, cutting Sirius off. The other students that were still around from dinner were now starring in their direction. "Where's my cloak…" she mumbled as she gathered her cloak from the bench and stood up.

"Ingrid," James tried to block her way.

"Potter," she revelled in James' expression because she was sure she wore it a few months ago when he said Vance instead of Ingrid.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked, interrupting the silence between the two.

Ingrid narrowed her eyes at Sirius, "To find Abercrombie."

"Don't be like this," said James with exasperation.

"I'll be however I want to be. I can't do anything about Emmeline! So why shouldn't I just go and waste my time and keep out of everyone else's way? If I was considered important in this matter I would have been told when it happened because I have a feeling that neither of you have just found out!"

Ingrid didn't wait for them to say anything. She left in a rush but, of course, did not go to Abercrombie. She didn't even know why she said that. Instead, she went to the greenhouse where she sat down in a dirty corner where the cold evening air rose through the floorboards making her shiver.

James came and sat next to her in the darkness with the dimmest of light emitting from his wand.

"I wish you had a map of England," Ingrid said softly.

"I wanted to tell you."

Ingrid nodded silently and wiped a salty tear from her cheekbone, "You should have." She caught James' eye, "You really, really should have. You should have made an effort every day which you clearly didn't because I know that when you try hard enough you succeed."

"I couldn't hurt you," James turned away ashamed with his excuse.

"You didn't hurt me, you let me down and I think that's worse."

He heard his father in Ingrid's words and he instantly felt an urge of desperation to fix this. "We'll find her together."

Ingrid laughed lightly at this then breathed in deeply, "She's dead, James."

"You don't know that."

"I know that she isn't at home where we were brought up together. She's in the possession of wicked people, mad people and if she's not dead yet – well, dare I ask how many days you've been keeping this from me?"

James hesitated, "Three."

"Exactly, it's time to step up James Potter."

She rose with ease and he quickly joined her. As soon as they were outside she let him overtake her and she followed him to the castle in the moonlight. Trailing behind James, she let her eyes wander to the stars and thought on where Emmeline would be. She wished for her not to be dead but then maybe it was better to be dead than tortured. James said something that Ingrid didn't hear correctly but he must have known because he caught her when she tripped over the hole he warned her of. They continued on the same way until she mutely turned to go to her common room. Once there she spoke to no one and within minutes she was in her bed with her blankets pulled up to her eyes. Tears blurred the vision of the wild flowers in the vase on her bedside table and she used her bottom sheet to dry her cheeks. She wanted to write a letter to her family but they would already know. Everyone knew except her and in that moment Ingrid felt completely alone. Not that she wasn't before but now it almost seemed that while there was nothing for her at Hogwarts soon there would be nothing for her at home either.

"Thank you," James didn't want to say it but as horrible as it had been at least it had happened.

"Where is she?" Sirius asked from his bed where he flicked through the Daily Prophet which was now a day old.

"She went to her common room," James removed his glasses to rub his eyes.

"She'll be all right," Sirius still didn't look up from the paper.

Remus turned to James doubtfully and waited for his response but it didn't come.

"She's older than you were when your dad died. She's not a child, she wants to be useful and informed. People don't like being left out of important things such as this," Sirius finally put down the paper. "Anyway, we have Quidditch tomorrow."

* * *

><p>The team briefing had finished and they now lined up waiting to be called. The Slytherins, who were to go first, seemed to taking their time so James turned to his team one last time.<p>

"Let's just make this quick," he was cut off by their call and they flew into the pelting rain.

The game of the year began in a blur but the Gryffindor's, as James wished, were quick with their moves. The Quaffle remained in heavy possession by Gryffindor with Slytherin only managing to intercept on a few rare occasions. Everything was going to game plan until a red robe fell to the ground.

Lily and Remus were the first standing trying to figure out who it was. With a quick turn to Mary, who pointed to a player in sky, it was confirmed that it wasn't Ben. The commentator was the first to confirm that it was Johnson, Sirius' partner Beater. The Slytherin stand was cheering and the game went on.

Sheets of rain kept sweeping down on them with the wind adding an extra chill. Lily dug her elbows into her knees praying for the game to be over. The Bludgers were invisible against the grey sky and she just wanted everyone off that pitch. All the players, besides the Chasers, moved higher for a reason Lily couldn't comprehend but it seemed that the Slytherins were leading the way. Through the space Lily stared to where Severus usually sat. She assumed he would be finding great amusement in this game as he watched the players high above. His head moved to face Lily's stand and she quickly turned incase she was visible although it was doubtful.

Georgia watched as another Gryffindor player was actually shoved off their broom.

"Can't be too surprised, G. Just because they've got big Potter doesn't mean they're the greatest team." Georgia twisted to see Irish sixth grader, Liam McKenzie, looking smug as ever.

"Then wouldn't you think that all of Ravenclaw should be going for Gryffindor so we have an easy win in the finals?" Georgia suggested politely and McKenzie said nothing more.

Thinking of the Gryffindors, she looked over to one of their stands with her binoculars to find Remus sitting next to Pettigrew and her blood boiled. She wished for a bludger to hit the boy smack in the face which considering the way Slytherin were playing could be a possibility.

Only two Gryffindor chasers swooped past and Noah realised which player was down, John Abercrombie. About five minutes had past but he didn't hear the announcement. In fact, he wasn't really paying that much attention. He was never a Quidditch person and thought it ridiculous that Gryffindor continued to play despite what was clearly happening. Noah then wondered if this was how it would be on the war field as well. Constant fighting until everyone was on the ground. Tactical withdrawals, anyone? Noah guessed not. He wanted to leave and get out of this rain. Highly considering it, he scanned around squinting to see if anyone else was leaving and aha! There was movement in the Hufflepuff stand. Yes, somebody was standing up, excusing herself out of her row of seating and down the stairs. Fantastic, Noah would do the same. He was only half way down the rickety staircase when in an instant a Slytherin and Gryffindor crashed into the wooden panelling, leaving a gapping rip in the blue material. Stunned, Noah recognized the unconscious Sirius Black and could only think of one word suitable enough for the occasion, _fuck_.

Under her umbrella, Ingrid marched towards the castle. Still dealing with last night, she didn't want to see Black glorify himself on the pitch when, in her mind, James should have left him out of the team for this game but who was she to govern that Quidditch team. They were a lot of daring and stubborn Gryffindors. Just like all Gryffindors. Emmeline had been one and look where it got her. Emmeline, Lily, Sirius and eventually James… Their traits would be their downfalls, all eager to die and leave the ones who loved them behind. Ingrid violently kicked a rock into a deep puddle ahead of her. Tomorrow she would be out of here and she would find Emmeline and that was that.

Back on the Quidditch pitch the game went on with Slytherin overtaking Gryffindor. Clare Hooper, the Gryffindor Keeper, was only just managing with constant bludgers being sent her way. She had realised that she was next on their hit list and wished nothing more than for Benji to catch the Snitch so she could escape. The Slytherin's were cunningly sending the quaffle and bludger towards the hoops at the same time so to catch the quaffle meant getting hit by a bludger. She hadn't seen the one that eventually hit her. It came from the side as she reached to catch the quaffle. Within a minute she was somewhere warm and dry. It was quiet here too besides a low mumble. Clare opened her eyes to see her teammates either in beds or standing around them besides two in particular players that were missing. A few Gryffindors went from bed to bed. Mary Macdonald was one of them, the girl she had to walk back to the castle one day because Ben was worried. For a moment she thought that this must have meant Ben was hit too because really, Clare had no idea who was still playing by the end. Then someone touched her arm and it was in fact Ben himself. He was unscathed just drenched.

A loud bang made them all flinch and turn to see that James had thrust open the double doors and was now storming down past beds which were occupied by part of his team and to the very last which held Sirius. Benji was close behind him and stood at James' side. The uninjured Gryffindor players backed away from the bed and waited. Clare slowly sat up to see Sirius, bruised and battered but smiling.

"So?"

James, who had remained completely stern, broke into a grin and Benji opened his hand to reveal the golden Snitch. "Bought us enough points to win just before the whistle straight after Clare fell."

Clare let her head fall back with relief while the others cheered, filling the wing with noise that even young Pomfrey didn't hush. James stood over Clare looking incredibly concerned. She noticed his smile had disappeared and that the room was silent and then black.

...

Lily dried her hair then pulled it back then let it down again. Clipping her cape together she listened to the celebrations down in the common room. She grabbed her wand and headed down the staircase and made a beeline to the portrait hole.

"It's tonight?" James caught her just as she ducked to leave.

"Yes," she tried to remain calm and not grow irritated but she couldn't help it so she backed up a little to address James properly. "And I think it's ridiculous that you are all celebrating down here while Clare is still in the hospital wing."

"Clare is fine," said James calmly.

"How do you know that?"

"Because she is in her bed upstairs sleeping peacefully. She came back when you were in your room. Everybody gave her a cheer and her friend walked her upstairs with a sleeping draught from Pomfrey herself."

"See you later," Lily mumbled and finally ducked the whole way to get out and get away from the Gryffindor tower.

Severus paced back and forth in the empty dormitory whilst the Slytherins in the common room sat in their fury. He hadn't even looked at her in over a month. He forbade himself to do so in an attempt to make her completely anonymous to him. In the classes that they shared he sat silently at the corner desk and focused heavily on his work. During the early morning frosts when the owl posts arrived he disregarded the letters from his family, they were no longer interesting. The hint of mention about the Evans family would throw him off track and he did not need that. Severus could not, however, disregard the trickle of gossip that passed him one day.

Her Patronus was a doe.

A doe.

He knew what Potter's was.

It wasn't a surprise but… why now? He didn't need it now and he could only think of one course of action which could get him over it – confrontation. Lily hated it, he knew this and so did he in some part but it had to be done.

She stayed back after Potions one day to ask Slughorn a question about the upcoming NEWTS and Severus saw this as the best opportunity that would ever come his way. Potter and the rest had left and now it was just Lily, Slughorn and him in the corner. He loitered around them half pretending he was listening to Slughorn's useless advice but Lily had spotted him. Severus could tell this by the change in her concentration which no longer belonged to the professor.

"Well, thank you, that helps so much," Lily ended question time quickly all while avoiding Severus' glare.

"Anytime sweet Lily, see you tomorrow." Severus watched as Slughorn beamed down on his favourite then scurried away to his next class which he was clearly late for. Lily hesitated for a second and Severus wondered if she would pretend he were never there and just leave. She adjusted her books in her arms and turned to face him which led to a sensation of relief. She said his name and he hated the feeling that followed but he had to get on with it.

"It's been awhile," he started with and despised himself for it. Lily's grimace was so patronising. "I want to have a quick word with you."

"So have it," said Lily shortly.

"Not now, later, after the Quidditch match in the Great Hall."

"After the Quidditch match?" she was sceptical, Severus could tell but she also seemed interested. "That's an odd time."

"Yes but there's an important issue to talk about."

"I'm terribly sure there is." He now started to grow agitated with her. She was becoming more like Potter, throwing smart remarks here and there. Her blank gaze was off putting and the way she now looked towards the door as if he wasn't worthy off her time was worse.

"Will you be there then?" Severus tried not to show his growing impatience but Lily, being who she was, could read through him and he knew it.

"We'll see," she turned on her heel.

"Have to ask Potter first?" He couldn't help the words that flew out of his mouth.

Lily stopped and only turned her head slightly, "Where's Emmeline Vance?"

He was thrown by her new topic but he wasn't into niceties now. "It's good to see you're learning who is on your new side. I doubt you would have known or cared for Emmeline this time last year."

Severus watched as Lily gave a slight shake of her head then left him to be clearly dissatisfied.

And now it was time to see if she would show. He went for his scarf then thought against it, he didn't need any extra restrictions on movement. As he rushed through the common room he could feel cold eyes fall upon him but he kept his own looking forward and soon he was free. The night air bit at his bare neck but he ignored it and suppressed the shiver that ran through him. Possibilities played in his mind as he tried to slow his pace.

Severus now reached a more common area of the castle which was also better lit. A few students walked here and there and he couldn't care for them. All he hoped was that there would be no one in the Hall because no one needed to see what would surely happen.

The heavy doors were open and he walked through into the empty Hall. He shut them partially behind him, leaving just enough space for Lily to squeeze through should she ever arrive.

Lily did squeeze through the doors into the Hall which was now only lit by the artificial moonlight. She didn't spot anyone in the room and the only sound was her breathing. Crossing the Hall to the top of the Slytherin table she admired the beauty of the room at night. A scurry interrupted her serenity and she jumped back in fright but couldn't see what flashed in the dark before her but before she could even look for it Severus spoke.

"I heard…" he paused. "I heard your Patronus is equal to his."

Lily spun round causing her cape to fly out audibly. "It's not equal, unfortunately. His is stronger than my own."

"That's not what I meant," Severus edged closer towards her. "But of course Potter's Patronus is strong. What, with all those lovely childhood memories? Memories that we were never allowed to create for ourselves. We're not supposed to be able to casts these spells and I guess I am curious as to what you think of." He laughed lightly to himself, "I predict it's him. It must be him because what else is there? Every memory of your family is stained as if it was a white page and someone spilt a jar of black ink over it."

Silence followed that.

Lily felt herself grow warm under her cloak and under Severus' gaze. Then he continued.

"I must admit I have thought about this ever since I heard of it."

"There is not much to it," Lily voiced, still standing still with her cape now readjusted.

"But there is everything to it," Severus' voice was pained. "If it weren't for Potter would you be able to still produce a Patronus and if so what would it be? Is he really the only source of happiness in your life? Are there no memories before him? No memories of your friends. No memories of me?"

She knew she wasn't supposed to hear that due to the way he covered and continued on but it all fell on deaf ears. The sentence finished then and there for her.

"… after everything, everything, he was the one that helped you, that gave you a memory…"

Could a memory of Severus even produce a spark, Lily wondered. She decided no because just like her family, every memory of him was stained with that same black ink.

"… and it's a doe. I know it's a doe just like they said. Everyone knows his is a stag just like his fathers… A stag is a worthy prize, should a hunter ever kill one… Show me."

Lily snapped back to the present and stared through the semi darkness at Severus. "Show you?"

"Show me. Think about whatever it is you think about and cast it."

"I can't do it now."

"But you can, that is the whole point of it, to be able to cast it when you are feeling troubled, uneasy and or frightened."

"I told you I'm not very good at them."

"You need Potter around." Lily scoffed at Severus' accusation and crossed her arms under the cape. "Your little rebellion is quite ineffective without him isn't it? What can Lily Evans do without a boy who hides under Invisibility Cloaks standing behind her?"

She cast the first one which had him on the floor. He hadn't seen it coming but that had no effect on his ability to retaliate. Then came the first curse he had ever sent in her direction. The red light that cut through her cape told her what it was and where they now stood.

"Family honour is what we fight for!" Severus raised his voice. "So fight, Lily! Fight like a Potter. Fight for the stag on their family crest. Fight as if you were wearing that red sash. The colour of spilt blood that has over taken the white one you used to wear so nobly."

Lily pushed her loose hair back off her forehead with one hand to discover a small layer of sweat. She wiped it off her hand then silently cast her next curse which Severus blocked. It continued then like a sword fight, each waiting for the other to make one crucial mistake. Severus walked backwards down between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables under the bewitched ceiling.

They had gone past student spells to using ones that their families had taught them. Spells that they were taught to use in battle and spells that were created to hurt. Lily didn't even realise until her curse hit an invisible wall that someone else was in the room. She followed Severus' gaze to see Dumbledore standing at the Gryffindor table lowering his arms. She fell against the cold stone wall exhausted, holding her wand loosely while side gazing at Severus who leaned over his arms which rested the Slytherin table. His hair hung over his eyes which were looking only at the table.

"Enough," Dumbledore bellowed and Lily shut her eyes and let her head fall back. "We do not tolerate this sort of magic at Hogwarts. We do not stand for this!"

Lily felt a chill sweep down her back causing her to shiver. She wiped the last bit of sweat off her forehead and Dumbledore told her that she would be going to the Fawcett's manor first thing in the morning. Lily did no more but nod to everything that was said. She had no energy to argue and Severus was still a few metres by her side. The professor beckoned them to leave and in a quick moment Severus caught Lily's eyes and they both paused. A mutual agreement was made with a simple look, no one would know about this.

* * *

><p>This chapter is for those people who emailed me after months of not updating asking for a chapter. I can't tell you when the next one will be and I wish I had more time to write but this alone has taken me months and constant effort in the last few weeks and so I hoped you enjoyed it. Thank you again.<p> 


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